4 Easy, Proven Ways to Start Talking to Women (or People)

Sometimes when you go out to meet girls, you're lazy. Or you're rusty. Or it's hard to get going. Use these 4 tactics to start talking to women with ease.

We've written a lot on here about approach anxiety in the past.

Approach anxiety of course is the trepidation you feel before you approach someone new.

See a pretty girl you'd like to talk to? You freeze up and feel fear before you can.

At a networking conference and need to make business contacts? Freeze up in fear.

Contents

1. The "If-Then" Method

2. The Butt Stare

3. Talk Immediately

4. Can't Go Home Challenge

5. Approach Anxiety Resources

6. Wrap Up

Anxiety before an approach is a common human feeling. It is not only something that happens with approaching women. You'll feel it any time you need to make an approach where you care about the outcome. If you have to approach your boss to ask for a raise... or your teacher to ask for a chance to make up that test you failed... or a roommate you suspect has stolen something from you but you aren't sure.

If you care about the outcome, and need to approach and engage someone else, there will usually be some anxiety there. Because you'll worry "What if I approach, and this person won't give me what I want?"

The anxiety is there to force you to take a moment to consider how, exactly, to get the outcome you want.

Yet with women, especially in cold approach scenarios (where you're walking up to someone you do not know), you'll often only have a handful of seconds to make the approach. Fail to make it on time, and the girl is gone.

This article gives you four quick, simple little tactics you can use to get yourself to approach.

Note that these tactics are geared more toward intermediate and advanced playboys who are able to approach, and just need an extra push to get off the sidelines. If you struggle with heavy approach anxiety, skip to the section at the end (where I link up some material on dealing with that).

Assuming you're able to approach, however, and just need to up your consistency, then pick one (or more) of these, use it, and you'll kick off a bunch more conversations with women (or other people, if your approaching is for purposes other than dating).

Chase Amante

Author

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

Comments

Hey Chase,

Posted by SZ (not verified) on Thursday, 4 April 2019

Hey Chase,

Have you stopped responding to most comments permanently? I know you're busy with a lot of things, but figured I'd ask.

Had some questions about the article though.

1. How do you do the 2 minute rule with taking to everyone around you without looking like you're some high energy try hard?? I picture a try hard that is talking to everyone that passes him. Am I thinking of this the wrong way?? How does one not look like they're not over doing it?

2. Can you combine goals? Say if you want to talk to 12 women, can you say I'll talk to 12 women and ask for 4 numbers on the same night?

3. When will you know that you can move on from approaching x amount of girls, to I will get a kiss or I will get laid?

4. I have a problem with the not going home or I can't do blah blah until I approach solution. I know I can just say fuck this and go home if it sucks, I can try to tell myself I have to do something, but in all honesty I know I don't have to and can just do what I want. So how can I make this more serious?

5. What if you read those anxiety articles many times before? What can you do to beat AA?

6. The link to your article didn't work for talking to people during the day time, I'm guessing it was the natural article?

Thanks!!

Social Without Being Tryhard, Combining Goals

Posted by Chase Amante on Friday, 5 April 2019

SZ-

I'm trying to carve time for them -- the community is important to me. Just a lot going on and I am rather overloaded.

2 minute rule: you don't need to look around lots. Assuming it's a social venue, there are people next to you. Turn to one of them and engage him. You don't need to be high energy, unless the guy or gal you engage is high energy. Just match his energy.

I wouldn't advise "I'll talk to 12 women and ask for 4 numbers." Always aim to keep goals simple. The simpler and more focused they are, the easier they are to pull off.

3. When will you know that you can move on from approaching x amount of girls, to I will get a kiss or I will get laid?

When you're able to say "doing X is easy for me now. So let's go to the next step."

4. I have a problem with the not going home or I can't do blah blah until I approach solution. I know I can just say fuck this and go home if it sucks, I can try to tell myself I have to do something, but in all honesty I know I don't have to and can just do what I want. So how can I make this more serious?

If you lack the discipline to do it, you either need to use something else, and not this, or you need to find some external way to enforce discipline. e.g., get a wingman and give him your house keys and tell him not to give them back to you until you've completed your objective.