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Once you know how to pick up girls in lounges, you’ll find
they’re some of the best places for this. More quiet, fewer
distractions, and more intimacy make things easier for you.
I discussed night game in general in my 2013 essay “How to Pick Up Girls in Bars and Clubs.”
This time around, I’ll detail how to
pick up girls in lounges.
What is a lounge?
A lounge is a
dark nighttime venue that plays subdued, rhythmic music.
The music isn’t the type you’d go nuts dancing to, or sing along with. It exists to create a background, rather than be the main event itself.
I’ve always liked lounges because I’m not a dance floor guy. Dance clubs and dance bars feature dance as the main event here. People lose themselves in the music and merge into the tribe. A large part of success picking up girls in these venues comes down to how you position yourself in the social hierarchy. Are you a sexy jock? The consummate party guy? Nightclub promoter? What’s your rank within this tribe?
Lounges have a lot less of the tribal element. You can still find tribes within them – like groups of people there to listen to a certain DJ, for instance. But even these tribes tend to be open to outsiders, and take themselves less seriously.
Contents
A lounge makes it easier to talk and seduce your way into bed with her. There’re fewer distractions to pull her away from you, and her friends care less about whether you’re part of the tribe (and what rank). Girls cockblock least in lounges, and help you sleep with their friends most here. Lounges are the venues you’re most likely to start hitting it off with a girl, and then her friends just leave the two of you alone to do... Whatever you want to do.
Nonetheless, there are standard elements to lounge pick ups it helps to know. In this article, I’ll show you what those are and how to pull them off... So you can take things from conversation to copulation.
So, let’s talk about how to pick up a girl in a lounge.
Comments
In Da Club
Great article!
Gotta few questions Chase,
1. How do you think a black guy will do in a lounge? Will I stand out good or bad?
(I have only been to hip-hop clubs, so I'm new to all of this, and I don't think a lot of black people would be there)
2. What would you classify as a hip-hop club? does that count as one of the the clubs you don't recommend for a pick up?
3. What should guys do during the middle of the night in the club if the beginning and the end are the best times to pick up?
4. Is the process for a lounge the same as a regular nightclub or different? if it's different can you tell me the process for that?
5. Can you give me a beginner process on how to pick up during day game?
6. I forgot what article it was, but I asked you what do we talk about to women in the club? I can't find it.
Thanks!
Questions
SZ-
I've had black friends who did great in lounges. That being said, these were nicely dressed black guys who were very good at being 'the black guy who hangs out with white people', cracking jokes white people laughed at, and coming across as edgy enough to excite white girls but safe enough to not scare them off. So keep that in mind.
Hip-Hop clubs (by my classification) are any venues with Hip-Hop music and lots of dancing / a big dance floor. If there's just some chill Hip-Hop (or Trip-Hop... maybe some Tribe Called Quest?) and no one's dancing, it's not what I'd consider a Hip-Hop club. Or if it plays a mix of Hip-Hop, Top 40, R&B, etc., it's a pop music venue and not a Hip-Hop one. I do not recommend them for pickup, no. I've seen more guys get shot or stabbed at Hip-Hop clubs (often fighting over girls) than I've actually seen guys get laid at these places.
That doesn't preclude someone having a reliable method for pulling from them, but I've not met anyone, and they're among my least favorite places to meet girls. And bear in mind that when I started going to clubs, I exclusively listened to Hip-Hop and never listened to electronic music. After spending enough time in nightlife, now I'm a big fan of electronic music (so easy to meet girls in electronic music places) and rarely listen to Hip-Hop.
In the middle of the night, I suggest you alternate between socializing with anyone around you, and taking breaks. Goal is to stay warmed up, yet conserve energy. Important to monitor your drinking, too. One drink an hour, lest you want to be too sauced to pull reliably at night's end.
Lounge vs. club processes - well, everyone's going to have his own process. Same for me though. Meet her, light banter, move her, more banter, grab a seat, deep dive / chase frame, venue change or invite home. Adjustable where needed (e.g., if you meet her and she's already seated).
Day game is similar: meet her, compliment or banter, light conversation. Then take her phone number or move her / invite her to walk/sit with you. From there it's the same as nighttime, just a different setting.
Not sure which article I discussed what to talk about in clubs, but these might point you in the right direction:
Chase
Diner
I totally forgot my question about the diner.
I have never done this, but I feel that a girl would feel you would pay since you are the one to ask her out to a diner. at least that's what I think. I feel that way for dates with girls soon after the approach during day game, correct me if I'm wrong.
1. What do you talk to her about at the diner?
2. How would you not pay at the diner?
3. How would you pull from there? Say "let's get out of here and have a nightcap or something?"
I'm guessing this stuff would be the same for a same day lay date right?
Diners
SZ-
Whether she expects you to pay is going to depend on the dynamic and your degree of frame control. In my experience, the only times girls expect you to pay are if you come across as a boyfriend, if you don't offer a lot of value, or if you really blow the experience for them (and they want a little revenge: "This sucked. If he pays I'll at least feel it wasn't a complete waste of time, though").
Yes, you'd just use a standard invitation to pull from there. See the articles in my earlier comment to you hear on what to talk about with girls.
Chase
dancing problem
Hi Chase,
I have some important questions. Before that I will tell you what is it about: In a lot of cases when I try to dance with girls the reject me. Same girls dance with all other guys: lovers, friends, friendzoned guys, etc. but when it comes my turn I'm in a lot of cases rejected. The problem is I'm not aware because of what that happens. I'm not good dancer but I believe that I'm not a lot worse from the others. Also I always think about basic fundamentals: look, muscles, fashion, funny conversations, etc. and I'm always considered to be non interesting by women. Despite my fundamentals, women are from the beginning less interested for me than for other guys. Guys who have similar posture but a lot more weight(thick) are always considered to be more attractive, even if they are bald and with beard. I can't understand that is more sexy more weight even if it isn't shaped than well shaped style. I have never felt I had a real true shoot with some girl. Despite my efforts, for girls I'm just some guy they are not interested and don't want anything with.
I've always thought that problems are just a lack of my skills but now I see that problem is that women don't see in my prosperity for any important role in their lives. Now my questions are parted in two sections. First I want to ask you why women almost never want to dance with me? Is it because I'm bad dancer or is there something in my walk and moves they found weird and think because of that I'm bad dancer? What also can be cause? Also other questions are why women are never interested in me? Although I have good look and body (and I know that is not the most important in seduction), and fundamentals women never treated me as a handsome sexy guy. They don't even think that. Why? Also I practice nice and warm personality style with people for women than is nice guy style. Why?
Your answers will help me to understand why I don't have a chance with women.
Thanks again,
Xander
Dance Floor Rejections
Xander-
I dislike dance floors and don't find them particularly good for seduction. Some guys like them though. I suggest you give these articles a look, as they can advise you better than I can here:
Or, you can make like me, and wait until she's off the dance floor to meet her.
Chase
Bus / moving together?
Hey Chase,
Great add of table of contents :)
Wikipedia of seduction haha!
Do you know any good lounges in vancouver when you were here?
I been to clubs and bars, but the music is so loud.
Re: the girl
Remember how I said the situation in your "Why cold approach is best" article happened to me?
Not gonna dwell on this but briefly mention.
Here's how it went.
Did an opener text with my name and nice seeing her again.
She replies "Same, nice seeing you too."
I ask what her last name and she tells me and I sent a "thanks ms. Doe ;)"
Then a few days later, her culture has a festival and I wished her happy and made causal comment.
No reply. That's fine.
A few days later, it's now a week after we exchanged, and I text her out. No reply.
I'm curious if my read was wrong (she didn't like me), and only exchanged because her friends were there.
But...I did contact her a week later. But her text wasn't burning hot for me either (doesn't answer immediately).
Oh well
Re: Bus
So we lined up for the bus. Usual stuff.
Chatted, bus here, I kept it going and she laughed.
Her: Haha! I know right
Then...the bus was full.
There was one seat and she was walking in front of me and I was following her.
It feels off.
But when she sat at that seat, I would be standing in the middle of the bus and chatting to her (she is locked in, me chasing on outset). Then I noticed another seat in the back, I kept walking. :(
What would you have done, bro?
Re: Moving together
If you're hanging out (or date), and she wants to go get x (food for example), and you want to get y (food again, or maybe you brought food), what will you do?
I stayed at the table while she went to line up for food and come back.
It feels...off.
Thanks Chase,
Lawliet
Doesn't Text Back, Seats on the Bus, & Date Wants Different Food
Lawliet-
I haven't been to Vancouver in a while and only got a cursory look at the nightlife. Not long enough to stake out the best places. Poutine is an awesme late night snack though, I can tell you that much. Certainly adds to the hips from looking at the people who eat it though.
If girls aren't texting back, that's the game. You know that by now. Don't forget these:
Bus: go sit, then come up 2 minutes later, tap her on the shoulder, big smile, tell her you need to get her phone number and you'll link up later, take it, then return to your seat. Works on airplanes too.
If she wants X food and you want Y food, convince her to try X food. Or both go get Z food. Don't do the "You go over there and get this and I'll go over there and get that" thing. Her feeling like she needs to go do something independent from you on a date breaks the cohesion.
Chase
Confidence
Hey chase, I was thinking and wanted to know to get more confidence and frame control during all areas of confrontation.
I know you will get more confidence with size, muscle, and fighting ability, but my main problem is doubt and uncertainty.
Just because I know what I know, how do I know the other person doesn't know more? meaning they might have an advantage?
That's what defeats me everytime. I see people who argue all of the tike not giving a fuck if a person is big, small, or anything, they don't worry about what the other person has up Thier sleeve, they will talk their shit without doubt.
1.Chase, how can I have the confidence like that and stop always worrying about what a person has up their sleeve?
How do I make my frame stronger?
2. How do I make them worry about what I have up mine?
3. How can I just stand up for myself with
out all of the worrying of the other person?
4. How should you handle road rage Confrontation and look tough? should you yell insults back? flip them off?
I'm black so respect is key, I have to do something back.
5. I know you'll say that we have to experience it, but I can't really keep doing it because of this big worry I have, once I handle the worry of what my Opponent might know, I'll be good to continue.
Thanks
Re: Confidence
SZ-
Are you signed up for the Girls Chase Newsletter? If not, make sure you're signed up; I'm putting out a 7-day mini course (sending it out initially over a couple of weeks), and the 6th day is a book on confidence. That goes out probably late next week.
Road rage, just give the guy a bored look and flip him off and your rep / ego should be fine.
Chase
New York City lounges
Hi Chase,
How's it going. GREAT article. So, do you know which lounges by name in New York City are good to meet women ?
Thanks
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