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Every man's actions when socializing are guided by 1 of 3 core aims. The wrong aim can sabotage him in social situations… but the right aim will give him wings.
When a man goes out to meet women, he has a certain aim he takes with him. That aim might be a conscious one; an aim he knows he has. Or it may be unconscious -- he doesn't know what his aim is. Yet whether he knows it or not, he carries that aim with him.
The aim a man takes out with him colors his experience. It colors his actions and behavior while out. And it colors his perception of what happens while he's out too.
Contents
The right aim leads to progress with women, as a man hones his abilities to socialize or familiarizes himself with new venues, types of women, or techniques. Or the right aim might lead him to a lot of fun. Or to get dates, get laid, and meet a future girlfriend.
The wrong aim leads him to a disappointing outing. On the worse end, he may end up depressed, disappointed, or beating himself up over the outing. This happens when he has an aim -- conscious or not -- and fails to achieve it.
If he takes the wrong aim with him too often, and fails to achieve it too frequently, it can tank his morale and cause him to give up. Most guys who quit the game do so because they spent too much time aimed at the wrong place.
There are three easy-to-identify aims a man can take with him out into the field. All other more complicated aims boil down to these three. Two of these aims are self-focused, while the third is other-focused.
In this article, I'm going to argue that too many men go out with other-focused aims when they should take self-focused aims with them instead.
I'm also going to show you how many naturals and men who are good with girls go out with very different aims than what most less experienced, more aspirational men take with them.
Comments
Another great article Chase,
Another great article Chase, I'll say it again you just think of ways to write articles that I'm sure no one thinks about. It's like you go into a person's psyche to find answers that no one can find out by other ways. Great articles man!!
I wanted to ask some questions.
1. Say of you're with a wingman, but he doesn't approach and just stays on the wall the whole night, but you want to hang out and have fun, but also get a number, but also try to get laid? How would you do all those things without it being a wrong aim?
Do you have your friend come with you and you open girls around each other? Or do u just have fun for the night and don't worry about it?
Because I didn't want to leave him, but I really wanted to approach and could tell he didn't want to move around, and I know it's because there were a lot of people in the place.
2. What if all aims are combined? What if you want to break out your comfort zone? Which would mean many things, like going out alone, approaching a girl.
Having fun so you won't be so hungry on an outing and can relax and chill.
Results, u want to talk to girls and approach them to get better or you want numbers, and to sleep with them.
What if all 3 of those are your aim?
3. Can you have a chill night with a group of people and then peel off here an there to approach women and still look good to the party of people?
4. What aims do you think are important for someone that goes out alone all the time and is breaking all kinds of comfort zones, trying to not feel bad if he doesn't achieve his goals, so he tried to have fun.
For example: Guy goes out solo to get his game better with women as well as break his comfort zone which he is doing by going out alone and approaching women.
What if he doesn't get the results he wanted and then gets uncomfortable because of it? Should he try to have fun in order to keep his energy good and to keep pushing for a good night? Shouldn't he force himself to have a good time while breaking comfort zones trying to achieve results with girls?
Basically he's trying to do all of them at the same time.
Or is it not good to try to do them all at the same time?
Thanks
mystery vs desire
Hi Chase,
I once went on a date with a girl in my workplace who pretty well knew I liked her. I had good first date with deep diving, teasing, touching.She seemed to have a good time too, but I was hesitant to escalate. She was always stoic on text before and even after the date. I had always tried to display implied interest and maintained intrigue, mystery an subtelty with it. One of friends who decent game asked me to drop mystery and subtelty and go all out. He started texting her on my behalf and told her I was smitten by her on the date and loved every minute of it, If I could have a girl like her I would never let her go and a bunch of cringy texts along these lines and to my amazement she was briming with excitement and my phone was buzzing the next day she was flirty,blushing and suggesting plans to meet again.
I was confused I mean I was showing her interest before and moving the seductiom forwards too by get her kn the date albeit with subtelty. How did such blatant show of desire excite her so much, why did it not turn her off I assumed it would be needy?
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