How to Live an Interesting Life | Girls Chase

How to Live an Interesting Life

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

One of our senior discussion board members (and a contributor the main site) who’s going through a rough patch right now suggested a couple of article topics. One of these was on living an interesting life:

How to Live an Interesting Life – I feel that my life outside of the occasional woman or pool game is quite mundane. I’m not someone who likes having nothing to do but inevitably my day-to-day living involves nothing but sitting around and twiddling my thumbs right now. So, I’d like to see an article on leading an interesting life.

interesting life

I think the most important thing about leading an “interesting life” to understand is that “interesting” is a highly subjective concept... and the way most folks talk about it is best understood from the outside, not the inside.

Comments

Anonymous's picture

Interesting article ;-P

I liked most of it but don't quite agree fully with your immersion - acclimation - apathy cycle. I think you over generalise here.

It's a funny one, it seems with some things this cycle remains true, some things really do become boring and tedious after doing them for a while, but in my life I have found that many things retain their original excitement.

For example, my second job of you like is of a painter, I have been painting for around 10 years now and whenever I start painting a picture that I believe in I feel the same sense of excitement I felt all those years ago trying to complete the picture, because every picture is different and saying something different, just as every moment is different and unique.

Same thing with travel, I have been traveling the world for over 20 years and have been to many countries - I can say with complete honesty I still feel such excitement when I am planning a new trip and selecting a country or countries to visit and which sights to see, same as the night before the flight - I am always excited that it disrupts my sleep oftentimes.

And it's not even that I go to different places all the time, I have a place I visit almost every year on Cape Verde (amazing little island) and every time I arrive and very day I spend there is as good as the first time I visited.

I think the real key to retaining excitement is just to keep your life moving, and never let it stagnate and turn into something that is completely familiar. Always be doing different things even if those things are cyclic.

Because even though I often visit the same countries and have the same routine in most days, it is full of stuff, I never just do a few thing I do many, it seems to keep my brain constantly wired and in the moment so to speak.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Artistic expression - pure artistic expression, where you are creating what you want, rather than, say, sitting in a symphony orchestra where you just play someone else's music, or painting boring, repetitive advertisements for a mass marketer - is one of those things that generally stays fresh because each new project is something new in and of itself. Now, if you kept obsessively painting the same painting again and again, that might get a little old... although there are also people out there who are obsessives, and for them it isn't about excitement or newness or freshness but a fear of imperfection.

Travel to a favorite destination is like getting back with an ex-girlfriend - you get the rush of emotions at first and it's amazing as it was the first time through, although you acclimate much faster your second, third, fourth, fifth times, etc., than you did the first time around when everything was completely new. So long as you're just taking it in small and infrequent doses you can keep enjoying it each time you go, though.

Chase

Troy's picture

I enjoyed this article. Since lately have been doing a lot more reading on a wide variety of topics. Many people I meet seem to only be able to talk on probably three topics in debt. Basically one dimensionalsand I'm just like them. So now I'm building basic reference points by pushing my comfort zone.

Chase, this article is on time with where I am in life now. While I am taking on new activities, I many times don't like doing anything and I dislike other things. I don't naturally find most things fun to do and it sometimes becomes a drag. Let's say for example, a man enjoys listening to music and dancing. He can talk about those things none stop but he doesn't know anything about any other activities or doesn't like them. He might say " I love music and dancing but I hate talking about wrestling and guns."

That's like me and if I recall correctly, you mentioned somewhere in here that you don't find most things naturally interesting. It's all about being CURIOUS ABOUT NEW THINGS.

What could someone do to get them more INTERESTED IN LOTSVOF DIFFERENT to lead an interesting life?

Troy

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Troy-

Well, if he's trying to get someone else interested, that's a lot of work and has a high failure rate. You can drag someone along to various things, but often all you'll do is fatigue him and put strain on your friendship. Occasionally you may yank him right into something he takes to, however... depends on the person.

As for yourself, all you can do is try your hand at various things and attempt to get to a base level of proficiency with those you'd like to try that with. Many things you won't enjoy and become interested in until you're a little bit good with them, and then it becomes a different story than when you were just starting out and awful.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Is it possible to turn being a natural loner into something alluring?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

3 Flavors of Sexy

Look at the section under Brooding

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Nice, thank-you. That article suggests that if I am the brooding type, I havnt much hope without a social circle. A loner has no social circle! So I can either get one or cultivate another flavor. Trying to be the smooth guy is what I have been doing, though it seems when girls find out I have no friends or social circle, I lose that cohesion.

Something to experiment with.

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

I will let Chase and the other authors know about writing up an article related to being a loner.

Just Dave

The M's picture

Hey Chase! Your last three articles (on being interesting, adventurous, and cool) are all wonderful. They give a lot of insight not just about women, but about living a fulfilling life in general. I'll be sure to practice them. Just wanted to put that out there. :)

The M

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Thanks M!

Anonymous's picture

Chase, about this special sex position you talked about
in your article " make her orgasm hard", do you
think it will work for someone who is having sex the first time
and trying out the technique? Or should you be experienced
then try it out for better results?

Zifzaf's picture

Hey man, loved the article. I try to read as much inspiring material as I can, because I want to surround myself with the concepts and values I want to have on mind. Really liked this article.
By the time I was 13, my family immigrated twice to a new country. I am 26 now, and in the last 14 years I have lived in around 20 different places. Additionally I have travelled a lot, have lived abroad too, and I speak 4 languages. I have worked in office jobs, and have started freelancing in the last 2 years.
I get bored extremely quickly with most things, places and people. I love adventure and meeting new people, travelling, new cultures, but a new activity, place or job becomes boring for me after 3-4 months. I even got bored of travelling after 3 months! I even have to say that I once read your website religiously, for 3 months, got great results with women, and then I just got bored with that too.
What do you reckon, is it good to focus on how to appreciate what you have in a stable environment, or to listen to yourself and try to find new stimulations constantly? In the past I tried to force myself to appreciate what I had (and failed), and now I have pretty much given in to my internal boredom-bomb, and realised I need to have lots of adventure and new experiences, new places etc.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Zifzaf-

That's tough. I can't say there's a "right" answer... I will say that I periodically force my own self to stick with things for a while after boring with them, especially if there's some degree of skill mastery involved. Often I find that once you fight past the initial boredom phase, you come out on the other end with a skill set that's very useful and the thing stops being boring anymore and just becomes something you do automatically without having to think about.

That's where things like the 100 hour rule come in - for pushing yourself through that initial apathetic period you get after you've done something a bit and the initial newness and excitement has worn out.

Of course, you want to make sure anything you do that with is something you're genuinely convinced will be good for you and is worth fighting boredom/apathy/lethargy for a while to get down. You're usually going to have far more things you've abandoned that things you've persisted with if you're trying many new things, and that's fine. Everyone has his own special interests and skill sets that appeal to him most and that he focuses the majority of his energies into.

Chase

Jason Tsai's picture

Again, one of the reason I love this website.

It doesn't just offer seduction articles, but it manages to pump out articles about lifestyles. Once again,
it was a very wonderful/helpful article!

Thanks and keep up the good work Chase!

Jason

Dave80's picture

Chase,
Great article, man. I like the ones about living an interesting life suitable for the "sexy male" who we should all be.

This brings me to a question/article suggestion. I accidentally posted this under Cody's article, thinking you wrote it (thanks Dyslexia!):

Have you thought about an article about how being a sexy male can help or hurt you in the work place?

This is something I've been thinking of more and more since I work in a professional setting and I have one boss who is a female and one who is a male. I play the sexy male role with the female, but does this help or hurt me?

I won't have sex with her because she's my boss so can this hurt me?
If she gets jealous of me being with another woman or if she feels like she needs to control me since she can't have sex with me? On the other hand, being sexy means she may want to please me or may want me to like her, so it may help in the work setting. What do you think?
And what do male superiors think of men who other women want? I would think they could either be jealous or if the boss is a normal, cool guy, he might like that male employee and want to even hang out with him.

Thanks Chase!

David Riley's picture

Hey 80,

I will let Chase and the other author's know about your request.

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

hey Chase,

I would like to split my article into two sections
1. Just last week i went on a marathon run to watch the TV series Breaking Bad.( Dont ask me why so late ) and if you have already seen the series you might be familiar with the protagonist Walter White. An old man on the verge of dying , who goes on rampage trying to make the most in his final days sidestepping the law . As powerful as the character is there is this one particular episode that struck to me as the quintessential point in seduction. One where the cops are addressing the school staff for stolen lab equipment. Our Mr. White here has just pulled off a big deal and has serious testosterone spike. And he sitting next to his wife in the middle of a meeting hall rubs his hands against her hips turning her on.. And the look on his face says it all. A little cunning , in control,not giving a fuck about anything but his testosterone spike and that is first time that i realized the difference between a romantic and a seducer. When you mentioned in particular before that this site focuses primarily on seduction it never really made sense to me because coming from an Indian background we focus on winning the heartt of the person over seducing him first. But now attraction first and comfort later makes so much sense. But still a comprehensive article on seductor vs a romantic lover would be perfect summarise the point.

2. Now that we are currently reading the article about lifestyle i would like to ask you about this important point. I read your article on fewer strong ties and a lot of strong ones. One of my favorites. Here i would like to point out a few things. Since i feel it is very important in seduction to be non needy.. does neediness step from a rejection .. not only in terms of girls but from a social circle. Suppose there is a social circle that you virtually created out of nothing. You were the reason it was formed and than because you suddenly got busy with your life you not only lost touch with it but you were no longer the leader but just a participant. I know this isnt a serious reason but it does make you drop your confidence. what would be the best way to handle such situations? what mental attitude can make you outcome independent of your social environment ?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

First comment:
I will let Chase and the other authors know about your request.

Second comment:
It really depends on the person for me personally I'm not bothered. A lot of times a new leader is necessary if you fade out the group. I always focus on building up my friends. I've honestly had friends who took the group to new levels invite me out and show me a great time. It all comes down to humility. I don't try to muscle my way back into groups. A lot of times I just fade and create new social circles. As long as the group doesn't try to ostracize you, it's not a problem. There's a difference between being genuinely busy and people ignoring you. If you feel like people are ignoring you call them out on it. Other times social circles just naturally die out on their on. People get a boyfriend/girlfriend, new job, move away, or people grow apart. In the end, you can only control how you feel. You can't let other people control your mood or vibe.

Just Dave

lucifer's picture

Chase,

you go around guaranteeing that your ex girlfriends would set everything aside in their life just for a chance to get you back?
And proposing to call them to prove the point?

Now I do believe 100% that it's true, but why going around showboating it?
What's the point?

I don't think it makes you look much better, if not quite the opposite actually.
And even if it did, it doesn't sound very respectful for the people that were in your life.

Before your friend held in high self esteem your ex, now she might think of her as a poor chick who got her ass dumped.

Not a very classy move when talking about common friends in my opinion...

And of course the only reason why I take the time to write this is because I hold you in high esteem and it struck me as odd reading you'd behave like that.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lucifer-

I'd never say that about a girl I broke up with. My normal M.O. is to let girls break up with me, as I did with the ex-girlfriend in question.

The girlfriend I was having this dialogue with was attempting to undercut my value (and had at other times) by painting that break up as the other girl wising up to me and booting me out, so some straightening out of the record was in order.

That's the only time I will talk like that (or recommend talking like that); the rest of the time I'll say things about an ex like, "I'm sure she's perfectly happy without me," and, "She's probably already got another guy she's head over heels with." The exception is when a girl takes this a little too seriously and doesn't read the subtext of you being gracious toward your ex (usually because she is inexperienced and not as good at reading between the lines), and you need to circle back and drop the subtlety and just talk straight with her before you have a girlfriend acting uppity because she thinks she's schooled you and you're lower value now.

I suppose this wasn't the clearest example to use in the article, though.

Chase

Nick's picture

Yea, I got to agree with Lucifer on this, seemed odd, no bad intentions most likely from you but you unintentionally made your friend look like a loser who can't keep a girl and is only a rebound, and cast your ex in a bad light, casting down her achievements and her job, making her look uncool for how distraught and lost she seems without you.

Does context matter in this sense though? If you feel that you will be harmed in some way you will toss your friends under the bus to make you seem superior or prevent damage?There is not a better way to circumvent it, or even better prevent it?

Did you need all that dialogue about your friends to prove your point about how an exciting life is always seen from the outside?
All this seems to make you two-faced, when you are not under fire you will praise the people close to you, but when you are you won't hesitate for a second to make them look bad to get attention off of you? Do you your girlfriends and friends pickup on this?

And shit, even if she thought for a second that your ex dumped you you have lower value then before, does it matter cause the next day, next week she will forget about it, cause you will be doing amazing things and she will see that, actions speak quite a bit. She should be able to look at that friend of yours who is most likely not as great with women as you are and make that connection that the ex would get with you in a heartbeat even inexperienced girls seem perceptive of these things. If it snowballs you can call her out on it in way that doesn't involve your friends, shit girls say all kinds of things to their boyfriends to let them know they aren't completely satisfied with their situation, questioning their manhood, comparing their friends in a better light than him, trying to shame him so he will commit more, etc. Whatever words she feels fits her solution she will use, not to be taken seriously. If she truly feels that the ex dumped you, again my man there has to be a better way than involving your friends.

Anyway, I hope this post does not come across as if I am angry or that I am the Spanish inquisition. Most of my questions are only inquisitive or trying to better understand. I might be showing some of my morals in this post but I am not trying to shame or change yours. Obviously you are a very pragmatic individual. I just feel that strong people should lifts others up, excluding those that take value from others, I am not mad if you feel different. If I had a friend who did this and I found out about it I most likely wouldn't care or get upset, but I would be sure to remember and involve him less in my life, because if he could say compliments to my face and then talk shit about me behind my back because he feels the situation demands it who knows what else he can do to me if he feels the situation demands it. Also, what you said about your friends isn't a big deal in the long run unless you continually do it and they get gist of it.

The rest of the article is great by the way and I hope my comments don't make you repress your thoughts and opinions or make you use less anecdotes or flashbacks from your life, makes the articles interesting.

Nick

She'sAKeeper's picture

Chase,
I'm sitting here alone at my computer on a Sunday morning, last night's usual mind dulling drinks leaving no mark, but making me feel apathetic about the day, as usual. The number of times I've hermitted for the weekend because I had no plans, and just wished to wake up tomorrow wanting and knowing how to live life fully, is uncountable.
This is not what I thought my life would be like when I was a teenager. Now, twenty some years past my teens, and I haven't even had a relationship in over ten years. I had one. For four years. It was ok. Now, I've developed a functional relationship with alcohol and my fridge, gained 40 pounds, and gone grey. Breaking up and starting over was both emotionally painful (because he was outgoing and had the gift of gab and brains and had all the friends) but also liberating and something I was excited about. Because I had plans, plans to keep in shape, get out and try new things, and make new friends, so that, the next time I had a relationship, I would feel more secure with my own life, be the one with the power to walk away without fear. It started out ok. I did what I set out to do, to some degree. But it all somehow just dwindled. And somehow I end up feeling like I completely missed my thirties. And a few years ago (2 maybe) I completely checked out. I go to work, come home, drink and eat, abhor the thought of exercise, and where once I had 1-2 calls every day, now my phone no longer rings.
For the win... I have a cat.
What do I have to gain by this self-pitying tripe, you must be wondering, if you haven't stopped reading entirely.
Well, (truthishly) I didn't come on here to complain about myself and my poor decisions, and lack of willpower, or generally depressive mind.
I can spin it, and make myself sound interesting to others at any given moment. I work full time, own a home, car and pet, make things that sometimes go up on shuttles into orbit or to outerspace. I've written bad music, drawn and painted. I write fanfiction when the mood strikes and receive high praise for it from many. I've taken boxing classes, dragon boat racing classes, played squash and tennis, traveled to a few other countries, gone to a shooting range, ridden a horse, bar hopped.. the resume goes on.... no it doesn't. At least not for long.
But now I just can't get motivated to do anything.
Your article, though, helped.
I loved it!!!
For it's smooth logical logic, and for your writing style. You got to the point. And your points were excellent.
Almost every single damn thing you said in the lower part of this article, has gone through my mind at least a half a dozen times. (not the top, that part I've been muddling over for years, but you cleared it all right up for me)
I think, inherently, many of us KNOW this is how to get living.... "Read, Train, Voyage, Connect, and Break Free."
But sometimes it really helps when someone can lay it out in bold for you.
I'll have to read and re-read this every day for awhile and hope it jars me enough to kickstart my sad little brain into real action.
Here's hoping.
Thanks for the great article. I'm sharing this one.

She'sAKeeper

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