Poll: What Questions Do You Have About Texting? | Girls Chase

Poll: What Questions Do You Have About Texting?

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

We’ve had a few folks ask for this for a while, so what we’ve finally decided to do is take collections of Girls Chase articles on related subjects and bind them into books available in ePub and paperback format via Amazon.

Comments

African Boyo's picture

Slightly off topic but Chase where is the book on relationships that you previously said youve been working on I've been dying to buy and read that

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Boyo-

It's in suspended animation!

No plans to revive it in the near future though.

It's just one of those things where the time and energy it would take is not worth the opportunity cost to me at the moment. If/when the math changes on that, I will write it, though :)

Chase

Lawliet's picture

When is it released?
I sure don't want to miss out the opportunity to read and review the book :)

Hope it becomes a big hit!
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

Should be in a week or two, I reckon.

Whenever BT's done editing, I'll give it a final pass and then it's good to go for publication!

Chase

justAnyone's picture

This is more than just texting: how to get back to track, when you made something that made conversation feel that "there is something off"? Mostly it happens for me with girls when I apply stuff artificially. I just talk, do "right things" but I don't care about her, and she senses it and exits conversation. But it happens even when I care, that annoys me... really.

How to fix it, when it just gets "off"?

And another topic you could discuss - how to stop texting, and start having talks with living people in flesh. Texting lets you think, while there's more spontaneous things in live conversations... We have less time to think and our emotions just go their way, the way they are used to.
You could describe such differences and how to prepare for them.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Just-

That’s normal when you’re still learning to talk to girls. Nothing to beat yourself up about.

It can still happen to you even when you’re a talented talker. Sometimes you say something the other party just doesn’t connect with and she gets a little weird.

Best thing to do in that situation is to either turn back to a conversational thread you’d left open from earlier (e.g., you started to talk to her about where she went to university, but jumped onto another thread and left that one unfinished) or use callback humor.

They’re not perfect, because she has to be willing to overlook the minor disconnect and work to get back on the page with you. Some girls won’t, but some will. But this works a good amount of the time.

The other thing you can do is end the conversation yourself. When it gets awkward like that, both parties feel it, and both tend to blame themselves. So if you end it first, she can feel like she must’ve made a faux pas. The reactions you get to this are more polarized though – when you hit her back up later, she’ll tend to either be much more receptive to you, or she won’t want to meet you or talk to you at all.

So, you end up having to choose between a handful of imperfect options… Mostly just whichever one suits your risk profile best.

Chase

justAnyone's picture

I constantly have to deal with one thing: having several girls who just can't stop wishing to meet , maybe sleep with me. They are the ones who bomb phone with tons of messages and there seems to be no easy way to let down them without making them feel rejected. or is there? It may be good to keep them as friends for meeting SOMETIMES, but when game runs on autopilot it's easy to meet girls who are into me, but I'm just playful with them - not sexual, yet they treat it this way. Questions "are you interested in me as a girl?" arise constantly and deflecting them becomes some kind of bizzare thing.
It seems fun to be desired, but it's terrible otherwise. I checked out your article on letting down, yet it doesn't seem to do much good - it's so difficult to put them down the RIGHT way. They either treat it as a challenge or get angry, sad or whatever bad emotions they have. Is there some awesome way?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Just-

I'm assuming they're not that cute?

With the cute ones, my philosophy's always been either just take them up on their offers and shag them or, if I'm just not that into them but will take it if it's easy, put up a few hoops and if they're willing to jump through them, they get it.

Sort of like, "I'm really busy, but if you want to come over Thursday night and bring a cake that'd be cool. Oh, and wear lingerie." If she does it, sweet, you get sex and cake. If she doesn't and acts offended, oh well. Now she's learned not to be too pushy with men because all men are pigs.

If they're not cute, the key is to tone it down with them, quit flirting, and just give them platonic, boring conversation. Like how you'd talk to a boss or teacher of the same sex as you who's 30 years older than you. Or like you're talking to a school marm. Dry, matter-of-fact, uninteresting. And then you can turn on the charm for the cute girls. Then turn it right back off again if you go back to talking to the not-cute one who's hounding you. Try it out; it works wonders on all but the most knuckleheaded women! The knuckleheads you just have to come out and say, "I'm not really dating right now. Why don't we just be friends?"

Chase

Dom Amator's picture

Y'all are fucking nuts.

Why in hell would you think texting is better than...wait, you know, like...TALKING? Unless your tongue is tied to your palette.

Talking lets your seduce her, or possibly also let you find out things about her that are either good or bad?

Yeah, I text with my several decade lover, but I would never think of it as the preferred way of communicating.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Dom-

You're seeing things that are not there, old timer ;)

Text is useful for one thing: logistics.

The goal of good texting is her with you in-person, where you can then talk, and seduce.

Phone calls you can use to seduce. In-person you can seduce better. If you can shoot her 4 short text messages and now she's coming to meet you, generally that's a more guaranteed thing than hopping on the phone with her a few times over the course of a few weeks.

Now, when guys veer into trying to build connections over text, that's when they get into trouble. That's what phone calls are for. I talked about that in the articles on it:

When I learned girls, no one used texting for anything and everybody called. I spent a lot of time on phone calls with women, and got pretty good at it. And then when I started hearing reports of guys using text messages to get girls out on dates, I thought that sounded silly and inefficient. How can you build a connection over text?

But then when I discovered you could shoot a girl a couple of texts and suddenly she was coming to meet you, and you didn't even need to spend all that time on the phone, that changed things. All the connection-building shifts to in-person, instead of (partly) over the phone.

Guess it depends on what you're after though. It can still be fun to hop on the phone with a girl and get her really excited about meeting you before she even makes it on the date if you're in the mood for it.

Yeah, I text with my several decade lover, but I would never think of it as the preferred way of communicating.

Odds are you use it more than me then. What we teach guys here texting is for is, "When are you free?" and "I'm going to be a few minutes late." The rest you can do better in-person, or on a phone call.

Chase

Dom Amator's picture

The important thing is, whatever works. I'm sure if I was still in the active pursuit mode, I'd be using SMS in one way or another. Even when people have great composition and grammar skills, there is so much that can't or doesn't come across in such a format.

I worked very hard to move from being a gangly, pimply, unconfident teenager, to the opposite. From petrifyingly afraid of asking a girl out to confident lothario. Ha ha. So, I like to use my charms, if not face to face, on the phone. I can spend time constructively, find out what her hot buttons are, build anticipation on her end for when we comes over. And cums.

STELLLLAAAA's picture

Love your stuff and I pray for your success. I have an account and have all your books. Take this situation from my cousin. There are all kinds of ways to text but which one works. He tends to text back and forth a lot but never goes out with the young ladies he texts. I told him one day. I said "Billy, these girls have 3 or 4 guys chasing after them right now just like you, they know what your doing, if you like them get them out on a date, texting is not for what your doing STOP IT. He refuses because of Lack of Confidence. Eventually the girls he texts either stop texting him after a few weeks of him fishing around, or they just reject him easily. Luckily he understands that is when you have no shot. He just deletes number, and says gosh darnet. . I dont know why. He thinks there is some magic and I dont. Get them out and if they say no then fuck it. Get em out on the date or just leave it. You got their number, and assuming it isnt a girl that you have to see for some reason like work or school then ask her ass out. He luckily got the concept of that he was chasing and looking desperate and I think that made him kind of feel like shit about himself so maybe there will be some changes.

Sarco's picture

What about sarcasm?
It's something which is spicy. Not using it at all makes things boring, yet overuse it and you are awkward creep.
How to go about it when texting?
Because there are less visual cues and reading facial or tonality changes becomes impossible, so you really just can't adjust yourself, or do it too fast.

Another thing I've burned several times from is when people get into thrill of making themselves look amazing, they screenshot our convos and while we both know our inside jokes, they get amazing chance to paint me as a dull person in front of their friends... It's gotten me to trouble to the extent where people would even go on to blackmail me on it... Either I do their thing, or they'll show our conversation to someone I care about, but have joked in written form on, so they get the power of disrupting my reputation...

I actually feel that you would advise against written sarcasm at all, except with people I know REALLY well. It's way too easy to fuck up things with little benefit, and toning it down in face-to-face would be nice deal too, because overuse of sarcasm is just a kind of cynicism...?

Or what? Actually article on this quite often used and misused weapon (sarcasm) of teasing would do much good, as it's something newer guys tend to use a lot, to seem "cooler".
Maybe you could even write an article on it. This would be a nice way to add more ideas to the one you have about teasing girls right way.

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