I've been getting called "gentle" and "a gentleman" quite a bit recently. Me, of all people! The man who prides himself on taking women as lovers within a few hours of meeting them, and who hardly ever goes on second dates because he either sleeps with a girl on the first date, or burns the house down trying.
Yet I am, according to more and more women I meet these days, a gentleman.
I've had an interesting and at times soap opera-y progression of events over the past week in which my girlfriend has contacted an ex-girlfriend of mine, whom she'd never met or spoken to, in order to, at first, vent about me and seek her guidance, and now to be friends with her. My ex-girlfriend and I have since reconciled, and my current girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend have been comparing notes on me: the good and the bad.
I have a big belly (I'm skinny by American standards, but... I'm not in America anymore).
My face gets red very easily.
I'm troublesome and not simple. Just when they think they have me figured out... they realize they were wrong.
And, I'm a gentleman. I have gentle eyes. I'm a gentle person.
That last one is no accident, mind you. Being a gentleman is something I've long aspired to be. I'm a big believer that a man can be fast, powerful, and incredibly seductive – and yet, still manage to be dashing, enchanting, and considerate.
James Bond is a rogue and a knave, and he shoots bad guys and beds women – a LOT of women – with speed and expertise.
But he's still a gentleman. And if you aren't – well, I think you should aim to be, too.
Comments
Exactly Chase! Way to get
Exactly Chase! Way to get down to the real meaning that most women themselves won't admit what they think a gentleman is.
How to turn a girl down
Perhaps this falls under the category of 'being a gentleman:' what is an appropriate way to turn down a girl who is very interested in you, but you are not (or are no longer) interested in return? I'm sure it depends on how much interaction you have had (10 minutes of chatting versus 6mo of dating, say). But I find myself feeling guilty if, after 3 dates and maybe one night in bed, say, I've lost interest but she's convinced I'm supposed to be her future husband.
Generally, I do what I wish women would do: instead of beating around the bush or flaking, I just tell her directly that I've lost interest, let's just be friends. Is that too blunt? What do I do if she demands to know what she did wrong, or what I find unattractive about her?
Absolutely
The more relaxed I am around a guy the more dates we're doing. Seriously, dating is terrifying for girls. Most of the time you're thinking about how you're getting home and hoping this one doesn't follow you as you leave... that might just be me though
Dating according to Louis CK:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umc7BFEhWz0
A good start
While these points are valid, I've discovered there are many other issues that attract women. Grooming and dress are key. Stop going to Supercuts and go to a barber. Don't bite your nails. Get a mani and/or a pedi. Ditch the shorts and flip-flops. Always dress like you're going out on a date, even to Walgreens. Keep your house/apartment clean. Hire someone if you can't do it right. A dirty bathroom will tell a woman you don't care about yourself. Clean your car, even if you only drive a moderate mid-size car, it should smell nice and be washed. And go to the gym. We all need it!
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