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I have a hundred stories of me making the mistake of letting my friends cling onto me when out, only to get caught up in their expectations for failure rather than blazing a trail.
Whilst I thought I could drag them along, the reality was that, in order to alleviate their discomfort, I made minor concessions which ultimately caused me to lose my edge (important while learning the ropes).
Fortunately though, I have had thousands of other experiences where I didn’t let people cling, and through those experiences have managed to learn how to handle friends on a night out. I’m going to share with you some of my secrets for surviving your friends right now.
Comments
Great but oft ignored
Great but oft ignored topic.
I've started to roll solo a lot again lately. While a great wingman can be invaluable, the reality is that most guys really just don't get it.
My experiences:
- PUA-type friends will only be too eager to show their "AMOGing" skills and try to "out-alpha" each other.
- Average guy, as you say, gets too comfortable, even holds you back, won't allow the group to open up. In extreme cases I've seen them just plain scare women off with poorly judged comments and anti-social behaviour. Incredibly jealous of seeing you succeed and is only too eager to tear you down or blow you out.
- Naturals... I guess these tend to make the best wingmen, but how often do you find a TRUE natural? If he's confident enough to know he can compete with the best but is a cool enough guy to actually help you out knowing you'd return the favor... this guy is gold. He's the magic unicorn of wingmen... but how often do you really meet these guys? Most naturals don't actually realize what is going on and just go for it themselves.
So it's quite true. Friends are great to get you in a social mood early in the night instead of rolling into a bar or club alone but if you constantly find yourself stuck in pointless conversations with them without talking to a single other person around by 2am... it's time to rethink strategy.
Very True
Hey Estate,
That's very true, I've been able to help my friends and give them cover fire as a wing man. I'll gladly be a wing man for my friends, siblings, or cousins. I enjoy helping my friends get laid. When it's time for me to get laid, I run solo. Like Cody and yourself mentioned, some guys don't get it. They'll blow your cover and ruin the vibe with a girl. This is typically why I'll drive separately to a venue or meet with a girl earlier in a day. I do appreciate my friends trying to help me at times, but a lot of times its more harm than good. The best wing man I've ever ran with was my own father, he knows my ins and outs. The best part is he truly wants me to succeed. He never tries to cock block me and knows how to fade out a conversation.
Just Dave
I Run Into This Alot
Maybe it's because the friends I have but I can NEVER go out with my friends trying to talk to girls.
Single Player Mode
Hey Anon,
I actually advocate for guys on the forums to go out alone. It's very easy to find out what exactly what right or wrong in a interaction. I made an extensive post called single player mode. It covers just about every aspect that me successful while running solo.
Single Player Mode
Just Dave
Stange "Friend" Theory
Cody,
You may not have real friends or you may just be borderline sociopathic. Your assumptions of how guys often are, makes me think your guy friends are just complete assholes and aren't even your real friends. My friends aren't territorial, jealous, etc.
Don't call these people your friends, because they are more like your acquaintances. My interactions with acquaintances are what you've described above, not with friends.
Also, rather than helping your friends grow by teaching them, this is more about you going out with them just to get into a club or so you don't appear like you're alone. No need to be such a dick to them. You can easily teach them by lending insight into their behaviors, rather than just ditching them, as you seem to do.
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