As a student of psychology who worked in the field for years, I have arrived at the belief that the single most important predictor of behavior is context. By this, I mean the immediate environment surrounding the behavior – the people, the atmosphere, and all sensory input streams.
I mean, think about it for a second. Doesn’t it sometimes seem like you have a different personality depending on who you’re with, what you’re doing, or where you are? Have you ever done something, then looked back at it later and thought, “That just wasn’t me! I never do stuff like that!”
It’s almost like there was someone else controlling your actions, because the truth of the matter is that... it was a different personality. It was just as much “you” as the “you” you like to think is “you”, but it was simply expressing a side of itself that you had never experienced before. And, if I had to guess, I’d say you were in some kind of special circumstance when that happened… weren’t you? Maybe you were on vacation, maybe you were intoxicated, maybe you were hanging out with people with whom... for some reason, in that instance, it just seemed like an okay thing to do. Right?
So, as with nearly all phenomena I encounter in my journeys and adventures, I asked myself the question... “How can I use what I’ve learned to improve my sex life and the sex lives of my special lady friends?”
Comments
Possible friend zone and bad precedent
Great article, Scott. I can't wait to try some of this stuff. :)
A question: if you have known a girl for long time in a school environment, does knowing someone a while without pursuing her automatically put you in the friend zone? I haven't exactly been interested in her until lately, when we started having a buch of classes together. How do I counter that bad precedent and start rebuilding myself in her mind? Will changing my vibe and just being sexy help, or will that come off as creepy because she didn't expect that from me(because of non sexual precedent)? Basically, is it possible to turn that situation around, or should I just forget it and go after someone different?
Thanks in advance!
knowing someone for any
knowing someone for any length of time does not put you in the friendzone. if this girl you are talking about thinks you are sexy and wants a relationship with you she will go for it. If she isn't interested in that and doesn't want to bang you, she wont. If the latter than she will think its creepy, just the risk you take if you pursue her. You don't need to "rebuild yourself in her mind"
Take it slow
I've always found your best option is to progress slowly, each time you hook up go 1 step further... that should keep them comfortable
Sometimes they will get drunk and horny and will be ready to skip right to the end, but that is rare
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