I was sitting on a bar stool the other night talking to a good friend of mine who was venting his frustrations about women and dating. He said to me:
“ J.J., it just seems like everything will go perfectly with a girl, but then, when I do something like try to grab her digits, get her back to my place, or kiss her, she cuts me off at the knees and I lose her, just like that. I don’t know how one little mistake keeps messing up the whole thing!”
I thought about that for a moment… I mean, I really thought about it. What he was talking about were the transitions he was trying to make with girls, and how he was failing at converting those crucial turning points.
In fact, I see this a lot. For good reason too, because any transition point requires a good bit of investment on the girl’s behalf. When you reach a transition point with a woman, not only do you have to execute well, but she also has to be ready for it.
So today, what I want to teach you is not only how to move the goal posts and pull off the most seemingly impossible transitions, but also how to prepare her for these crucial moments and keep her logical mind, and all its doubts and hesitations, at bay while executing them, so that you and a girl you’ve hit it off with can move fluidly to the next stage of your interaction.
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Chase
Chase, thanks for showing me my inner natural. With your skills and website I'm always on top of my game
Too smooth transitions?
Thanks for the very helpful article! Made me feel good about myself, because it seems I did everything right on the smooth transition ticket...until the kiss close blew up. Check this out:
Met this 19 y.o. girl at the salsa dance class last night. Asked her if she was single, then asked her out to help me with a language I am learning in exchange for helping her with her English. After class I took her to join me for dinner (only I ate), then beers and foosball (first time for her), then to my place. Deep-dived her over the evening, generally good vibe, but when I tried to kiss her at my place after a high point in our conversation (she was excited about the stars), she rejected and said "I don't want this". I just backed off and kept talking about the stars. Shortly afterwards she remembered that it's time for her to go home, her housemate will be worried, and left.
The transitions to go for food after dance class, then for beer, then to my place all went very smoothly. I kept talking to her, said "let's go" and when she asked "where are we going?" I just said "a few blocks then to the left" etc.
While there was a fair amount of kino and sexy eye contact, we didn't openly talk about anything sexual the whole evening, just implicit stuff: complimenting her for being open to new experiences and going for what she wants, "getting" the rhythm when riding a horse, which is like with a man and a woman...when they are dancing, complimenting her looks, etc.
From an investment perspective, she didn't invest much, just complied. I paid her drink when she joined me for my dinner and also paid the beer we had (she is from a poor family and working hard to make a living).
My question is: could the transitions have been so smooth, BECAUSE I didn't sexually escalate during the conversation? It seems a bit as maybe she just kept this whole interaction in the "no sex" category on her conscious mind while subconsciously enjoying being with a man making advances on her. But when the moment came to take the whole interaction into sex land, her head intervened.
Is there a "healthy" amount of resistance to transitions that shows you that she actually knows what she's up for?
How do I make it clear from early on that I want to sleep with her and/or weave it into the conversation?
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