Social Control and Moral Policing: The Level Bosses of Seduction | Girls Chase

Social Control and Moral Policing: The Level Bosses of Seduction

Chase Amante

Hey! Chase Amante here.

You've read all the free articles I can offer you for this month.

If you'd like to read more, I've got to ask for your help keeping the lights on at Girls Chase.

Click a plan below to sign up now and get right back to reading. It's only 99¢ the first month.

Already a GirlsChase.com subscriber? Log in here.

Chase Amante's picture

Video games have diversified as they've proliferated, and the variety of formats they come in has shifted tremendously over the years. It's not quite so ubiquitous a setup anymore these days, but at least when I was younger, well night every game punctuated the various levels of the game world with a "boss fight", where you'd fight an especially strong, particularly daunting opponent if you wanted to proceed.

In seduction, one of the boss fights you find yourself up against not so infrequently is social control, and the morality police.

If you've heard the term "moral police" before, you probably think of Islamist countries - Saudi Arabia, Iran... even the relatively "liberal" nations of Malaysia or the UAE. And while these nations have the only official (state-sanctioned) moral police (that I know of), the moral police in fact exist everywhere in the world, doing their part to ensure social control by policing the behavior of their fellow citizens.

social control

This "social policing", as I like to call it, is not so different from the rats of paranoid times - like clamped-down period of Eastern Communist rule, or the Second Red Scare of American McCarthyism. The only real difference is that, rather than rat people out to the authorities to win points, people rat each other out to others in the same social circle behind one another's back - or, they browbeat or shame them directly to their faces.

What makes this relevant to you, however, is how it impacts the women you're trying to meet, date, sleep with, and have relationships with - especially if you, or anything you're trying to do, is anything other than 100% "conventional."

Comments

mekuria4's picture

I really enjoyed your article on should i pay for a date and I want to encourage you in speaking the truth. We live in a society where men and women are supposed to be equal, yet not so in dating? I really feel sorry for the men who spend their hard earned cash just for a cheap smile. Might as well go to the strip club and get more bang for your buck. However i know u took some hits for this but it is a good point, sexual relations are not a business and your money in procuring them is useless, except with a hooker.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Thanks Mekuria. Yeah, I'm not too worried about people getting upset over articles... so long as comments are thoughtfully worded and don't resort to ad hominem attacks, we put them through, although we were a little bit less strict on moderating the "pay for a date" article. Most of the rest though, if someone just wants to dump bad emotions onto the Internet instead of making a well-reasoned argument, we just hit "delete"... there's no reason that some one individual's emotional dam bursting should poison some page on this site in perpetuity, and that's not really what this site is about, anyway (there are millions of other websites people can go to eject their bad feelings on each other... no desire to include this one in that pile).

Anyway, I tells it like I sees it... ;)

Chase

J's picture

Chase, this reminds me of your post on passionate and compassionate love. Would you say that the freshness of a new relationship generates a little bit of both types automatically? If two friends or people who just make each other really happy and have a lot in common wind up having sex and starting a relationship, obviously there's going to be some passion there although it never started out that way. I wouldn't call this passion since there really is no "fire" there, but isn't there a difference between the convenient she's cute enough and the timing was right vs. the rarer animalistic we desire eachother with every ounce of our bodies type of dynamic? Are both forms of passionate love or is the former more compassionate in disguise? I see so many different relationship dynamics and I wonder which one is ideal and lasting.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

J-

Yeah... new relationships usually generate some measure of passionate love by default; whether they generate compassionate love depends on how deeply the partners connect, and how much they come to care about one another's well-being (which itself is dependent on a number of things... everything from their own individual empathy levels, to how much they feel cared about in turn).

Two friends getting together after a long period of knowing each other and having sexual tension there can be absolutely some of the most explosive sex you can have, actually. But you can indeed have relationships that start out not very high on "infatuation"-style emotions... these are the relationships that begin more calmly. You will still typically have some passionate love - it's just on the shallower end of the spectrum, is all.

As far as which relationships are most prone to last - the research has shown that the relationships that start off with the most calm and measured beginnings tend to be the most long-lasting unions.

In other words, the more passionately it begins, the more likely it is to burn out soon in a flame of passionate glory.

Chase

K..'s picture

Hi,

and thank you for another nice read. I was wondering... Do you think there's a social norm of men having to pay for dates all over the West or could some countries be different? I'm thinking about Finland (my country) and maybe other Nordic countries as well. I do not feel that Finnish men would be expected to pay for dates. I think it is more common that both pay for their own food and drinks. In fact, when I was a teenage girl, my mother told me NEVER to let anyone else pay for my food or things, except perhaps an adult relative or someone like that. She thought it to be embarrasing, like I was begging for favors. Now, I'm not sure how other people feel but at least for me the assumption is always that everyone pays for themselves. It's even a little suspicious for a man to pay, even though it might be liked by some more conservative women, because it kind of implies that we women couldn't pay, thus being less independent than we want to be. If we work and if we have as good wages as men (which is not always the case but it kind of should be), there is no reason why we shouldn't pay. Therefore, paying for my food and drinks is like saying: "Oh, you shouldn't earn money, just stay home cooking for me." :) I don't say I would be offended but I'd sure feel a little awkward.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

K.-

I haven't ventured yet to Scandinavia (though I hope / plan to soon), but I would not be surprised in the slightest - dating is a very recent cultural development, and it takes a very wide variety of forms with a wide variety of rules in a number of different countries.

The man paying for the woman is a tradition that started because the first couples going on dates were low class individuals, with women working in textile mills who couldn't afford to go out and have fun accepting invitations from men to go on dates that the man would pay for - essentially, it was the only way a woman could go out and do fun things in town. This still remains tradition in many poorer regions (South America, Asia, etc.), but it's changing in North America (though certainly not evenly), and it's even more accepted for each party to pay their own way in much of Europe - in some countries, the bill is split right down the middle, while in others the parties take turns (you pay this time, I pay next time).

Chase

Norwegian guy's picture

Hi K, I'm from Norway and must say that I think in skandinavia we don't have that "The guy pay for the girl"-norm. When I was younger I didn't have that much of money because of school and not having a job, but I got invited by girls on partys and they would pay for everything, from drinks, taxi and entry-fee if we were going to a club. In norway you can start drinking and going to clubs(very few, as most clubs you need to be at least 20) when you're 18.

I must say that I got very good at getting girls(sometimes even random guys) to pay for me, and not like this: "Can you please pay for me, I really want to go with you to XYA" or "DAMN I wanted to go, sad I don't have money". The girls and guys WANTED to pay for me, because they really wanted me to come with them. My point being is it was the exact opposite for me when I was in school and had no job, but don't take me wrong. I don't think it's a norm in skandinavia that girls should pay for men, I just got really good at it.

african boyo's picture

Hi chase

Ive seen in various articles and comments that youve made that when you were starting out you avoided relationships. So my question is when did you feel it was right to get into a relationship? Did you set a lay count or? Basically what was the sign or criteria uou used that made you feel or realise that that you had
-normal abundance and
-absolute abundance

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Boyo-

It wasn't that I avoided relationships - rather, I simply refrained (and still largely refrain) from going strictly monogamous.

With abundance mentalities, I achieved a regular abundance mentality one weekend when I went out three nights in a row and pulled girls home each night, two of those nights after tons of rejections, and realized that if I went out somewhere with enough women and just kept meeting girls until I found a girl I liked who liked me back, I could probably get laid with cute girls almost any time I wanted to.

Absolute abundance I achieved when I met a number of amazing girls in quick succession, and realized I couldn't even stay completely single anymore even when I set a goal of staying completely single. When you can't stay single even when you WANT to stay single, because you just keep meeting girls who are exactly what you want in a girlfriend, it's a pretty good place to be (well, pretty good for anything but being single).

Chase

Wolf's picture

Hey chase, I wanted to make myself clear, since I didn't with the, sleep with every girl question.

1.I meant try to sleep with every girl that I think is attractive that I interact with :)

If its still something you don't suggest, who should I approach then and how many attractive females should I approach?

2.On a side note, with trying to pick up waitresses, I failed everytime, it's gotten to the point where I dont even want to do it.

I let this fine girl slip away because of my failed attempts with waitresses.

What ive done in the past was, I straight asked girls for their numbers, and got rejected everytime. I do make casually convo, then I go for the kill but I still got rejected, I even have done it infront of my friend one time, which kind of took a lot of balls to me.

I was thinking of writing my number down on the check and telling her to call me, but I thought it was lame, tell me what you think.

What can I do to pull fine waitresses?

3. I don't really have money to get buttons ups like you recommend in your fashion article, the ones I want are a little expensive and I dont want to wear the cheap ones, what else can I wear that's attractive and cheaper so I can buy alot?

Thank you sir

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Wolf-

I'd suggest just more feeling out the girls you like the looks of and seeing how they respond to you. If they like you, and you like them, and it isn't going to mess things up for you (e.g., you're at work, school, she's your buddy's ex… things like that), then go ahead, yeah.

Waitresses, we've got an article in the queue for.

As for cheap clothes, check out this thread on the forums: a bunch of guys have a number of suggestions here on fashion on the cheap: "Affordable fashion?"

Chase

Pablo's picture

Hey Chase,

Somewhere in an article you mentioned you mastered songwriting ( I believe it was the Mastery article),

And it got me pretty interested, What kind of songs do you/did you make? Rap right? and can you send a link to your songs? I'm pretty curious and would like to hear them!

Keep up the good work.

Regards,

Pablo

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Pablo-

Yeah, it's been a while since I made much music, but I wasn't so bad back in my day. The stuff that still exists in the bowels of the Internet is all from my earlier days in music, when I was still green to making music and not very good (I have no idea why people have it saved on various old sites, but I guess there weren't a lot of people publishing music online in those days - not like today) - my later stuff I was saving up for an album, and still have socked away in case I ever choose to revisit it some day.

I played around with GarageBand a little while back, and put together a few tunes in the day or so I took it for a spin - much faster and easier to do with GarageBand's "loops" than by painting every note by hand, which is how I used to do it with FLStudio on Windows, or recording synthesizer beats manually with a microphone (I never had great equipment). I may have been a little out of my element, but if you're curious here's one I came up with trying my hand at ambient / house music, in the vein of the tunes I used to hear at a now-gone club called Five in Washington, D.C.:

Chase

Anonymous's picture

I love your articles and your comments are sometimes even better.

How can i ever compete with the bad boy/loser? I will never be as exciting or fun as they are because im responsible, and responsibility in and of itself is the opposite of those. I willalways be at least a little behind. How do i know if my girl might one day leave me for one these guys or be tempted to? Or do only irresponsible or trashy women date these guys? How to screen women for this?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Being exciting and being responsible aren't by any means exclusive of one another. I'd suggest cultivating the exciting side of yourself, and more keeping the responsible side under wraps until later in the relationship with women.

There is a large amount of personal development in this - if you choose to make yourself more attractive to women, you can be, but if you choose not to, you won't be. e.g., if you were a girl and you asked me, "How do I compete with those girls who do their hair up nice and get attractive clothes and keep themselves slim?" I'd say, well, for starters, do your hair up nice, get attractive clothes, and keep yourself slim.

Women are drawn first and foremost to strength of character and strength of will, and that requires cultivation as much as anything else. Once you have a woman, even if you aren't "naughty", if you have a will of iron, you will command attraction and respect, far more than a bad boy with a paper thin frame will. But when it comes to actually getting women, your odds are helped tremendously by enhancing yourself in the things that initially attract women - especially the traits of the lover.

On becoming more attractive and exciting yourself, I'd recommend these articles:

On maintaining your relationships once you've got 'em, I'd recommend these:

And on the absolutely wild, intense girls who are always looking for something better / more stimulating, see these:

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase! Have to to say this is an amazing article. I am currently in business school and here, connections and charisma tend to be be what determines how "popular" you are.

There is a huge group of mainland chinese school students here and they usually keep to themselves and do their own things. Whenever one of the non-chinese people tries to get them to do something by posting on a group we are part of on facebook, no one usually responds.

It seems that usually to get the chinese students to do something, it requires at least a few of them to agree first, before anyone else does it. Basically, it is like a "safety in numbers" mentality.

I am chinese american and have near-native command of the chinese language. I am really interested in being the first person to really get them to do something.

Usually other people would post, "Would any of you guys like to go out for food this Friday?", and after this, all you hear is crickets. However, in the past I noticed that if a few of the chinese students were going, then others readily joined.

I know everyone somewhat well on a personal level. Do you have any suggestions how I can break into this group socially and get them to come out to do things? I have thought about perhaps contacting each person individually but it seems a lot of dynamics would come into play here that I am unfamiliar with!

Thanks Chase!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

I don't know about groups of foreign students in particular, and it also sounds like you're using a rather impersonal means of getting people to events (e.g., a Facebook event). When I used to host big events, I'd post these online, but then I'd go through and contact every single person I wanted to attend the event individually, with an individually tailored response. That'd sometimes take 5 or 6 hours of messaging 300 or 400 people, but it'd result in events with attendance in the hundreds, as the people who said yes would tell their friends, and then more people would see the volumes of people already signed up to attend, and they'd come too.

You typically want something cool about an event (e.g., a drink special) and something exclusive (members only; maybe in your case it'd be "Chinese speakers only", or something along those lines). And you want a larger base of people to contact.

In my experience, if you DON'T do this, you'll usually have an event sitting barren with only a few signups, and it never really takes off.

Alternately, if the group is smaller, skip doing things online and just text people - grab a buddy or two who will say "yes" first, then text everyone to come out - "Hey Susie, a bunch of us are grabbing beers at O'Leary's tonight - half off. You down?"

Chase

Balla's picture

Chase, I work extremely hard on my fundamentals, every one always tells me my posture is so correct and they always talk about my chest sticking out, ive been told by a few chicks I have a sexy voice, I work on everything.

Thing is, I honesly feel like my skin color has something to do with my luck with girls outside of my race.

Im not light or dark, im brown, so I guess it's not bad.
I say this about skin color because I've witnessed and heard on this site from colt I believe, that when you're mixed or light skin it's easier to approach girls because you look less threatening to white girls and black girls.

I feel like its my skin color because I work hard on my fundamentals and as ive said before people point em out. I also have so much confidence in the fundamentals that you teach, that I should have mo problem with women and they should see past skin.

Anyway, I want to venture out my race a lot more so I can know every girl knows that im a sexy man and they don't even think about race.

The question is, How do I work harder on my fundamentals? I keep track of them but how do I go up to the next level and keep progressing? I hope it makes sense. Where else should I look for more fundamental tips?

On club game, I took your advice and I've tried to stop dancing, since you say its a waste. But, pretty much I just stood there all night, thinking of trying to get a girl to grind on me but not doing it because at the end it's a waste of time and if she rejects you its a waste of an approach because you didn't spit game.

on the club game question, I feel it's pretty much hit or miss, I have good and bad nights were I do the same thing but get different results.

To get to the point, I feel it might be how am standing, I stand with my thumbs in my pockets with my fingers out nodding to the beat, with a serious face or sexy smile on. I don't know if it looks cool because I don't get approached consistently. Let me know what you think about my body language and what I should change.

Thanks

Balla's picture

Sorry for two comments, but it's been a while and im kind of im a rut with the club and pre opening. Im so focused on club game because I can test my fundamentals out against thirsty guys and attention whores, its like speed training to me, if I can get this on lock my fundamentals must be above average im guessing.

1.After I recently stopped trying to dance with girls ive been kind of lost, I really think hard about how to approach these girls, do I just ask them autopilot questions while yelling in their ear with loud music blasting?

2.I know you're not suppose to have full convos on the floor, but how do you talk to girls on the dance floor? Especially with their friends around?

3.How do you spit game with all the loud music and not being on auto pilot so you can pull her off the floor quick?

4.One thing I want to ask about is about one thing I do, I see other guys do it and I tried it which, I never ever succeed with. When a girl is moving I grab on their arms to stop them and for me to talk, but they pass me up every time, what can I do to fix that?

On pre opening, how do you not do it like a creep? Won't a girl be alarmed if you touch her, nudge her, even grab her shoulder and she doesn't see you?

Won't she be alarmed if someone comes on her from the back?

Please explain pre opening a little bit better for me,

Thanks Chase

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Balla-

Have you seen this article by Colt? "How Black Guys Can Have Sex with White Girls." I think he address the issue of skin color here better than I credibly could.

To keep improving on fundamentals, I'd recommend finding actors you really like the behaviors of, and emulating them. See if you can pick up their gestures, little unique things that they do, smiles, winks, etc. These are guys who've spent most of their lives studying ways to be more charismatic because their appearances on film are everything - they're their livelihoods, public personas, etc. You can level yourself up quite a bit by emulation.

On clubs, if you're standing around a lot waiting to get approached, you're only meeting 2% of the women who are or might be interested in you. Most women will not approach, even if they think you're really cute. You have to be the one doing the lion's share of the approaching - see these articles:

See this on approaching and opening:

As for dealing with friends about, that's what club game is - it's talking to women in front of their friends. If you're cool and have your ducks in a row, the friends won't mind; if the friends are interfering, see this article:

If they're in groups, see these:

Also see that last one on communicating in very loud clubs, too.

Pre-opening is about getting the girl to look at you FIRST - if you're looking first, it's creepy; if she looks first, then you look, it's not unless the touch itself is creepy (e.g., you probably won't pre-open by grabbing one of her breasts).

As for grabbing arms - you need some eye contact / approach invitations before you go this route, otherwise it triggers a panic resposne - people don't like having their arms grabbed by people they haven't seen yet. A better one if you want to go that route is looping your arm around a girl's waist, and bringing your eyes to meet hers just as she turns to see who's doing it. Sexy facial expressions and a good smile are a must here... without these, moves like these two backfire.

Chase

Balla's picture

Hey chase, I just wanted to clear up by what I meant by auto pilot, I meant typical boring questions every guys ask and small talk that all girls heard before.

V's picture

How am I suppose to approach a girl when she's not looking at me and not in my direction without it looking like chasing?

I feel like it's chasing if the girl doesn't even look your way and then you walk to her and make her look at you.

It's like when you said it feels like you're about to be put on the spot and she's judging your approach like she's a queen, compared to when she comes over to you and tries to impress you.

on example I have is this, im at a grocery store and we are walking past each other down an aisle,

do I just get in front of her? And make convo? It kinda sounds like chasing but idk.

How do I get girls looking at my way?

Thank you chase!!!!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

V-

See this article if she's stationary:

Get next to her as if you meant to be there as in the second maneuver described here:

... then pre-open, then open.

If she's walking, you'll have to treat it like a street stop. For descriptions of doing that, see these articles:

Chase

Wolf's picture

My mentally is if you speak to me you must want to talk to me and if not, you don't want to talk to me.

I know im wrong, because girls fear rejection more and im sure they have the same thinking.

I just feel like im chasing if im the one talking, instead of her talking to me trying to get my attention.

Anyway, I wanted to know the benefits if I speak first and how can I change my thoughts on speaking first?

Right now theirs this hot girl at work everyone wants, I dont know wither to move fast and try to make a move quick, or just sit back and relax let them sweat her, while I go for girls under the radar, then ill go in for the kill?

1. What can I do different than my co workers to get this girl to go out with me rather than them?

Thanks chase

Anonymous's picture

this is an interesting post, would be interested to her what chase has to say too!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Wolf-

Well, you'll almost always have to speak first. The objective with conversation needs to be getting to the hook point, where she's actively contributing to it and helping it move forward - the more in-shape your fundamentals are, the sooner and faster and more easily this happens (can happen instantly, if she perceives you as very attractive).

Until then, all you can do is practice your conversation skills - talk to people as much as you can, and especially talk to attractive women as much as you can. Also, for getting women to contribute who are difficult starting out, see this article:

On dating at work, see this article:

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase,

I am curious how you would handle a situation I am in. There was this girl at my school where I asked her out to lunch but only intended to have her as a friend. I think she has been somewhat sour that I didn't like her more than a friend. Anyways, I had invited her to go eat with me at a restaurant and she responded by saying that her male friend wanted to come too. This kinda made me a bit sour because I had thought that she already thought we were friends. Anyways, I told her I was sick and to postpone it to another day.

Today, she asks me how I was feeling and it went as so:

Her: r you feeling better?

Me: not bad but not good

U sound like u really want to eat at the restaurant haha

You should just go with Jeff (I said this because I had assumed that she was asking me if I felt better to see if I could go today instead of 3 days later, which was the day we postponed it to).

Her: hey hey i asked how you feeling not with the intention to say if you 're feeling better then we should go eat the food...

i was genuine in asking you how you felt

Me: haha don't really know you that well yet. But thank you, I'm still sick but I should be ok soon. (I'veet her for over a month now and was somewhat joking here)

Her: and you just assumed that im a heartless person who only cares about getting food? Lol good to know, take care then.

Basically, I was trying to joke but it came off wrong and basically didn't reply back to her. How would you handle this situation? would you apologize to her?

Thanks Chase!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

You came across a little snippy ("You should just get food with Jeff" "I don't really know you that well yet"), which made you sound like your feelings were hurt / you were feeling rejected. Then again, girls do this themselves all the time and see zero penalties for it... I wouldn't sweat it.

On apologizing to women - almost never a good idea, even when you're genuinely in the wrong:

Better just to be cool next time you see her and act like nothing happened.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Dear Chase,

I recently met a 30 year old asian from asia girl who is a law student and I am only 25. At first, I had suggested her to eat with me at a dining hall, which she ignored my text for a week before replying saying she was sorry for the nonreponse

Later, I suggested we eat at a school cafe. The food there was relatively inexpensive and she suggested paying but just declined her and paid for her.

Now, I asked her out to dinner and I accidentally suggested a very expensive restaurant (without looking it up) with all you can eat per person at 50 dollars. She had asked me if I knew of any nice restaurants there and I told her I heard this one restaurant was very nice.

She typically takes 1-2 days to respond to my messages and I even took a week to respond to me before. Is she playing hard to get or trying to use me? Also, how can I get myself out of my predicament? I really dont want to take a girl to a very expensive restaurant on the second date and get burned just for being used. I'd like to find a less expensive one so should I just cancel on her or change to something less expensive?

Thanks Chase!

Anonymous's picture

Also, it might help to say that she is Japanese and that she has worked before, so she doesn't seem to be lacking in the money department and seems to be a bit high maintenance as she has makeup, bag, etc.

Anyways, here was the conversation:

Me: "Hey! Hope ur week is well, could I interest you in dinner? let me know!"

Her: "My schedule is a bit tight this week, can we make it after thanksgiving?"

Me: "I'm flying home so lets just do dinner after the break"

Her: "Or can we make it friday? If it doesnt work, lets get dinner after the break :-)"

Me: "Friday works, would 6 pm work?"

Her: "Great, thanks! Yes 6 pm totally works for me :-), look forward to it!!"

Me: "Awesome, I didn't bring my car, would u like to taxi there?"

Her: "Sure, taxi is most convenient for me, thanks! Do you know any nice restaurants there?"

Me: "Theres two main ones, a steakhouse and a greek restaurant, how about we go to the steakhouse?"

Her: "That sounds nice! lets try that one! Thanks! :)"

At this point, because she has been hemming and hawing before this and I am not sure if it was disinterest or playing hard to get, how would you approach this girl knowing that I probably screwed up by taking her to a restaurant where our bills will break $100 and her expectations of me is that I am some rich guy?

Thanks Chase, I owe you for saving my life!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Before the next girl you take out on dates, I'd suggest giving this a read:

On this one, I'd just look around hard and try to find a decent restaurant that serves steak and is cheaper than the one you were thinking of... she doesn't know which steakhouse you were talking about, after all.

It doesn't sound like you told her you'd pay; she seems fine being the one who pays herself; and you already grabbed the first meal... so you're probably in the clear here for the two of you splitting the bill down the middle and not worrying about it. I'd just go on the date since it's already set up, have a nice time, BREAK CONVENTION and get seated next to each other instead of across from each other, and split the bill at the end.

Then, read this article on what to do next:

Chase

tayoisrich's picture

You mentioned u were learning Israeli Krav Maga, some folks think Brazilian Jujitsu is much better for modern day scenarios... what is ur opinion on these two martial arts...

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Tayo-

That one's kind of an unusual comparison; they're both great martial arts, but used for very different things. BJJ is a tournament- and competitive-focused art that trains you on handling a single attacker and forcing submission, largely through ground fighting. Krav is a purely self-defense system that trains you on handling multiple attackers and weapon attacks (knives, guns, etc.). e.g., BJJ says, "Get him on the ground and get him into submission"; Krav says, "Deflect his attack and counter with yours, then get the heck out of there ASAP before his 5 friends come over and stomp you out or stab you." Most Krav instructors I know train in BJJ as well, both for the more intensive workout it provides and for the additional ground fighting training, an area where BJJ largely trumps Krav.

If you're deciding between the two, I'd probably suggest figuring out what your goal is with the system... if you want to get in great shape, and would like to fight competitively / in tournaments, you'll want BJJ. If you want to be prepared to deal with multiple attackers and armed opponents, you'll want Krav.

Most of the street fighting / self-defense debates I hear are between Wing Chun and Krav Maga proponents. When you talked to people who are advanced in either school, what you'll generally hear is Krav has the faster learning curve, while Wing Chun is the ultimately more powerful of the two. i.e., if you want to be good in a year, pick Krav. If you want to be the BEST in 10 years, pick Wing Chun.

For me, I don't have the time or the inclination to fight competitively, and I find myself from time to time in dangerous areas where people attack in groups and with weapons, so it was going to be Krav or Wing Chun. I chose Krav simply because I wanted something I could pick up faster - much as it might be cool, I don't see myself having the time to devote to learning a mastery-level martial art like Wing Chun to the degree you need to learn it to (although I'm not ruling it out in the future!).

The only caveat with Krav is to make sure you pick the hardcore schools and not the franchisee ones that are more jazzercise than they are traditional Krav. Double-check that it's an official school before you sign up, and another good rule of thumb is to see how many women are in attendance when you check out a class... most women don't stick around long in a traditional Krav class. One of the last classes I went to we were bare-knuckle hitting each other in the stomach and chest during class to toughen up and get used to taking blows before doing knife defenses... not the kind of stuff most women are looking for in a workout class.

Chase

lucifer's picture

I found extremely interesting your comment on Russell Brand.

How do you exactly win over the police / moral enforcers?
You "just" make them like you?

Leave a Comment

One Date girl next to the number one

Get The Girl In Just One Date

It only takes one date to get the girl you want. Best of all, the date's easy to get… and girls love it.

Inside One Date, You'll Learn

  • How to build instant chemistry
  • Ways to easily create arousal
  • How to get girls to do what you want
  • The secret to a devoted girlfriend

…and more great Girls Chase Tech