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Pickup

Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

Things That Show Women You’re Chasing Them (That’s Bad!)

Chase Amante's picture

signs you're chasingIn July's article on granting social status, I mentioned a delicate social situation as an example of a scenario where you'd unfortunately have to deal with an interruption by throwing someone under the bus. A reader asked a clarifying question, wondering if it wasn't possible to deal with that interruption more gracefully toward the interloper:

In the example from the networking event, wouldn't a socially savvy person tell the nerdy guy something like "We were in the middle of a conversation here, is it OK if I get back to you later?" as if to give the guy an out?

Would you in retrospect deal with the incident more like this, or if not, why? While the guy was rude to intrude the way he did, isn't it better to not be rude back?

My response was that, while normally you DO want to respond gracefully here, due to the specifics of this case, because of what's communicated to this new woman you've just met by you explicitly telling someone else you prioritize your just-commenced conversation with her over the one he has just commenced with you (as you would in the graceful way of letting this other individual down), you must take the haughtier tack here, unfortunately, and throw our socially awkward friend to the wolves for stepping between you and this girl and butting into your conversation.

And just what is that bad thing communicated by you telling him explicitly that you're prioritizing your conversation with her over your conversation with him that forces your hand here? Why has he left you with no choice but to dismantle him socially, rather than let him down nicely?

What's communicated to the girl in the explicit case, where she hears you tell him, "I'm in the middle of a conversation with her, please excuse me," is that you're chasing her... that's what.

Why that's communicated, and the other signs you can give off that indicate you're chasing women, is what we'll talk about here.

The Seductive Power of Shy

Cody Lyans's picture

Much of men’s dating advice tells you to be confident, but after a certain point a man with little to fear might just ask the question, “Can being shy be turned to one’s advantage?”

being shy women

As it turns out, shy combined with moments of confidence can create an incredibly alluring contrast, and yes, be incredibly attractive. In fact, the right use of “shyness” can show off a deeper internal confidence than just being extroverted and outgoing all the time can.

Being shy-natured can be a powerful way to separate yourself from the noise of the crowd and heighten the experience of sharing a moment with you.

Going Out to Meet Women Even When You Don’t Want to

Chase Amante's picture

meet women routineWhen I first started lifting weights regularly, there were plenty of days I did not want to go to the gym at all - days I felt sick, days I felt tired, days I was down in the dumps. But I made myself go anyway, because I had committed myself to it, and I knew that if I started skipping days at the gym, I'd skip more and more, and whatever gains I actually made would be slow and, likely, negligible.

So, I went, time and again, when I did not want to go at all. The feeling after was always triumphant - I had vanquished my emotions and managed to achieve in spite of myself. And six months after I'd begun working out three times a week, every week, I was back in front of a bunch of my old colleagues, and everyone was impressed at how much muscle I'd put on.

I hadn't even realized; because I saw myself in the mirror every day, I hadn't seen the transformation. All I'd seen was that I kept lifting heavier and heavier amounts of weight.

Going out to meet women is just like this; the important thing is not being "ready" to go out and meet women - the important thing is going out and meeting women.

But a lot of men have trouble doing this.

How to Spot a Girl Looking for Men

Chase Amante's picture

girl looking for menImagine yourself walking down a crowded street, teeming with people about you on every side. Or, making your way through a jam-packed bar, or a subway station crammed with people.

Somewhere in that street, bar, or station there is a girl who would love nothing more than to meet you... you, or some other attractive, savvy man who isn't going to hem and haw, but who, rather, is going to take her by the hand and lead her gallantly off on an electric, romantic, and titillating adventure.

How do you spot a girl looking for men like this?

As you're doubtless conscious of, women give off a number subtle signals that they are receptive to meeting new men - and sometimes to your advances in particular.

However, most men are terrible at reading these signals... and most women go home frustrated, empty-handed, and bothered about life's unreliability in providing men who can recognize what they want and give it to them.

But if you knew how to read these signs... if you could pick a woman out of a crowd, point to her, and easily say to yourself, "That girl wants to meet a man right now," you would have a super power few men possess, and one that many women wished men possessed.

That super power, as it were, is within your reach.

9 Terrible Excuses Men Use to Avoid Meeting Great Women

Colt Williams's picture

avoid meeting womenEver see a really beautiful woman that you’d love to meet, walking down the sidewalk… she looks like your ideal, and maybe you even imagine how well the two of you would probably hit it off together, and the laughter and smiles and romance and adventures you might share in an unwritten future… and then you just let her walk by, past you without a word, off into the sunset and into being no more than a memory to you, never to know what might have been?

There is an old adage in the seduction community that goes, “It’s better to be rejected than live with regret.”

Yet so many men invent what they might not even identify as excuses for saving their feelings and remaining in a state of inaction… and fear. Today I’m going to put a magnifying glass on these weak excuses and why you should throw them out the window to make substantial changes in your life.

How to Take Girls Home with You

Cody Lyans's picture

Meeting women in bars or the mall or on the street is great, and going on dates is lots of fun.

But sooner or later, at some point or another, you’ve got to bring women home with you, or nothing is ever going to happen.

take a girl home

If I had to sum up how to take girls home with you in one sentence it would be “keep the good times rolling”. Never get pushy with women; make it easy by taking it easy!

There are many finer points to this that guys who are beginners tend to miss - things like not freaking girls out by being all over the map, by not making the ask home a high pressure situation, and more.

If you know what these points are and you know your way around them, you can get yourself taking girls home easily, consistently, and in stress-free ways.

Threesome How-To: Step-by-Step to Get Two Girls

Alek Rolstad's picture

As promised in Chase’s announcement 2 weeks ago about the updates on Girls Chase (especially about the new writers), here is my detailed report, from meet to threesome, about a very recent event that I feel deserves to be covered.

Chase mentioned to me high interest in how to get threesomes from some of the readers here. It’s my belief that sharing a detailed lay report on threesomes might not only be an exciting and fun way for me to kick off my series on these, but also very educational, as you can get an overall idea of how you can pull this off. Throughout this report, I will breakdown everything I do, show the stages and explain the overall vibe of the interaction.

threesome how to

This article chronicles events that took place a few weeks ago. I noted down every step in the interaction immediately the morning after while it was all still fresh, though the explanations of “why things are so-and-so” and what works and why I fleshed out later on.

On with the report.

Don’t Get Too Attached to a Girl Before the Sale

Chase Amante's picture

A few years ago, I wrote "Can't Stop Thinking About Her? Here's Why You Need to Meet More Girls" for all the guys out there going crazy over That One Special Girl. I've been there; I understand it.

It's a tough place to be.

I was reminded of one of the essential elements of this not long ago when coaching a mentee on sales. She was new to it, and had had a string of successes, but then, suddenly, ended up working with a customer who was incredibly difficult: he kept changing his mind, kept calling her and asking to see more product, kept haggling endlessly on price.

And as this went on, as my friend plowed more and more time into this one customer, it became a more and more emotionally charged thing for her, and a bigger and bigger deal.

She also came down more and more on price, and became more and more willing to sell him something for almost nothing.

Soon it became all she thought about. She ate, slept, and breathed this customer.

Eventually the sale fell though, and it sent her into a rage. How could this customer have wasted so much of her time and not even given her anything?

attached to a girl

I was reminded of one of the most important lessons of both sales and seduction then: don't over-invest in any one prospect, and don't get too attached.

Get Introduced to Girls and Play the Game on 'Easy Mode'

Chase Amante's picture

Various readers have asked variations on the following questions on this site before, and it's the question I'd like to address today:

If you want girls chasing you, how do you open? Isn't the very act of walking up to a girl and starting a conversation with her chasing itself?

The answer to that last question is "yes", you are chasing women at the outset of your interactions with them, at least a little bit, although if you know what you're doing, much of the time you can mollify the effects of this early chasing by coming in very smooth and somewhat aloof, and quickly changing the dynamic so that the girl herself is soon chasing you (which is a much more pleasant, exciting, and productive dynamic for both you and her than the alternative is).

However, there is one way to meet new women in which you can start out in the "chased" position, provided you are out with one or more friends who either know the women you want to meet already, or have a good handle on opening and being received well: that is, to get introduced.

get introduced

I've long made use of getting introduced to women both to my own advantage (to have girls falling into my lap) as well as to help out my friends or, sometimes, students, back when I used to train in-field (to throw girls into the friend's or student's lap).

This is one of those things that I rarely hear anyone talk about, and I'm not sure why, because it's like pick up on "easy mode."

And if you're not taking advantage of introductions... well, let's have a look at what you've been missing out on.

How to Get a Threesome

Cody Lyans's picture

how to get a threesome Most men have thought about it at some point, only to have quickly disregarded the notion as an impossibility (at least for them):

That romantic notion of just the three of you, alone, and sharing some private time together.

Okay, I’ll admit it... you never really think of a threesome as a romantic thing; but a man can dream, right?

If you’re like most men, the first time you find yourself in a threesome is so unreal that it becomes a “spectator” moment, you sit back and take a look at yourself and your life and say, “Hey, I am not doing too bad after all!” So it is no surprise then that you mess up the real opportunities that come along because your head is in the clouds... instead of where it needs to be.

There are a few key things to keep in mind when it comes to learning how to get a threesome, and if you don’t know what those key things are yet, don’t worry - because you can learn them, and live the dream.