Female Mind

Ah, empathy. At its most basic level, “empathy” simply means “understanding where another person is coming from.” I worked in the counseling field for a couple years, so I have been pretty well-trained in how to have empathy for others, and even how to make them feel understood even when you can’t fully grasp what’s going on for them.

That’s the good news: you don’t actually have to understand what someone’s experiencing in order to empathize with her. Men will appreciate this, as women so often talk about issues that we simply cannot grasp, to which we simply want to offer easy suggestions.

Let’s begin with a basic distinction, “fixing vs. understanding.” If you have female friends — which I surely hope you do — you will be familiar with a common complaint women have about their men:

“I don’t want him to fix it, I want him to understand.”

Note from Chase: this is a very thoughtful - and pretty deep - article by Alek exploring the cultural mechanics underlying social controls placed on individual sexual expression in modern Western societies. This isn't a "how-to" article; it's more a "here's how things work a few levels down" type piece. It's somewhat heavy stuff, but a rewarding read if you don't mind letting your brain work a bit. Here's Alek.

After having produced a number of practical articles recently, I wanted to write a more theory-heavy post on sexual ethics.

Before I begin, I would like to deliver a disclaimer. It should be noted that this piece is purely theoretical and an abstraction of how the mating game works. The world is a complex place, and it is impossible to describe every aspect of a social phenomenon.

Further, I would also point out that even though this essay might have anthropological elements, it remains a work in political/social theory.

This means that this text is not only descriptive in its nature (i.e., explaining “what is the case”) but also has a normative essence with the means of explaining “for what reasons things should be the way they are” or “what should be the case”.

On a particularly long day, after an 8 hour drive home from Northern Wisconsin on vacation, I was feeling tired, and the day’s events had hit me.

When I got home I decided it would be best to take a walk around the neighborhood to clear my mind. I found myself walking without a direction or second thought as to what I was doing or where I was going, until… I passed by the local coffee shop, and sitting outside under a shading umbrella, at a table, was a cute girl sipping on a mocha frappe.

This girl caught my eye against my empty thoughts and, though I wasn’t very much up to talking, I wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass.

I sat at a table across from her, and looked up to the sunset, breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly as she looked my way and smiled. I brought my head down, looked across my shoulder at her, and smiled as I tilted my head back up to tints of oranges, purples, and pinks.

After a generic agreement on how beautiful the sky was, I sat next to her, didn’t say a word to her yet, but again saw her look at me, and this time I locked eyes with her, tilted my head to the side raised my eyebrow, then pulled back a tad.

She exclaimed, “What?!” and was thrown off by the gesture. After telling her that I thought she was cute, with a prolonged sexy stare, I ran my fingertips against the backside of her hand, and saw her pupils dilate and her breathing got a little heavier.

An hour later she was lying on top of me at the pavilion of a nearby deserted park.

That’s nonverbal attraction: the ability to communicate messages to and even arouse a girl without saying much - and it’s powerful!

Nonverbal attraction and communication lies at the center of most great seductions; it is the bread and butter of easy and natural pick ups; it is something we all know subconsciously; and it’s something you can use to skyrocket your success ratio… and today I’m going to show you how to use it.

Good day, beautiful people of Girls Chase! In the first article in this series, "How to Have Threesomes with Your Girlfriend", I covered three keys that will really help you get threesomes with a girlfriend:

• Your attitude towards women,
• The kind of relationship you have with your girl, and
• How to work with her feelings about the whole situation

In this follow-up, I'm going a bit more into the "technical" side of things: the do's and don'ts, the details on picking up a girl with an existing girlfriend of yours (also known as "tandem hunting"), as well as answering some of the questions you've asked me about the subject in the comments section of the first piece.

As a follow-up to yesterday's article, "What It's Like with a Girl Who's Really In Love", I've put together today's piece on how to create those in-love feelings with the women in your life, where they come from, and how to sustain them.

We already have a great piece on this subject on this website - Ricardus's "How to Make a Girl Fall in Love with You", which I'd recommend you read first if you haven't already. It provides the perfect foundation for this article.

That in mind, I want to expand on the topic of making girls fall in love here, and talk about the two different kinds of love: what I call passionate love, and what I call old love.

The two are very different, and each are used for different things.

We get comments and questions on here every so often where I see guys saying they think girls are still in love with them, then detailing behavior that makes it clear the girl is most assuredly not anywhere near being in love with them.

I see men chasing desperately after girls who want nothing to do with them, or have decided they're finished with them.

Men who want to know if girls still like them when those girls are busily dating other people and don't have the time of day for them.

So, today's article is not a "how to", nor is it even a "why it happens this way" (that much); rather, today's article is simply a what it looks like when you have a girl who's crazy about you... so that you can more properly judge where you stand, and how much work you've still got cut out for yourself in becoming the kind of man women go ape over.

If your girlfriends aren't treating you this way... either your relationship skills still need some work (there are plenty of ways to build your relationships this way - see "How to Make a Girl Fall in Love with You" and "Operant Conditioning in Your Romantic Relationships"), or you're not dating the right women for you.

When you enter a club or a mall or a party and you see strangers that you don’t know, dressed well and talking to people, it is easy to assume that they know something or have something you do not. These people operating on that “high profile” aren’t very likely to come up and talk to you, so it can be a huge shock if and when they do.

Their arms may slung around you and you stutter in shock, wondering exactly what to do; you are tongue tied; you can’t even think about anything other than wearing a smile and quickly getting out of there. Once you do escape they are left wondering where you went, but then quickly forget about it and move on.

Think about women for a second in this exact same situation: does a woman really want to be a part of that all the time - do you? Or does she want her sex life to be under the radar and personally suited to her?