Female Mind

Ah, threesomes! For many men, having sex with two women at once is the pinnacle of manliness. Ask any man about his sexual fantasies, and if he's man enough to admit he has some, you will almost certainly hear "two chicks at once."

Unfortunately, many men write this off as a possibility, relegating it to the fantasy lands of pornography and science-fiction.

However, I can tell you that not only is it highly realistic, but how to begin having threesomes yourself.

We have a few articles on this site on threesomes already, focusing on meeting two women at once and taking them both home:

• How to Get a Threesome by Cody Lyans

• Threesome How-To: Step-by-Step to Get Two Girls by Alek Rolstad
  

What I want to talk about today is something a little different - today's article is on taking a girl you're already seeing, and having a threesome with her and someone else.

One key thing to understand for this or any threesome is that women have highly intricate, detailed sexual fantasies. They will only discuss them with certain types of men, but when you become that type of man, you will hear several common themes that are repeated over and over again.

One of them is group sex. It is my opinion that nearly every woman on Earth has fantasies that involve two girls and a guy, or a girl and two guys. So that's already in your favor, before we even begin: she's already thought about it.

Further, many women have already experienced threesomes or foursomes. Brave women will act on their fantasies when they feel safe and excited to do so, and that is the purpose of this article: to help her feel safe and exciting to indulge in some of her wildest fantasies.

On this website, my usual advice is that men do everything in their power to not paint themselves as overly wealthy, in order to avoid coming across as a boyfriend candidate. Certainly, dress well; but don't let on too obviously that you have wealth, a prestigious job, etc., if you do. In fact, if you're unemployed or not regularly employed (e.g., a business owner, an artist, etc.), talk about not having a job.

(this is a little different for men in the 40+ demographic, where you can be written off without some measure of accomplishment; for more on walking that fine line, see "Attracting and Dating Younger Women")

The objective is to prevent her from wanting you as a boyfriend in any way... so that you can focus on ramping up sexual tension and seize the role of the lover instead.

There is, however, one exception to this rule, which really isn't much of an exception at all - and that one exception is conspicuous consumption.

Conspicuous consumption is every bit the attraction trigger in women that things like:

• Preselection
• Good looks
• Perceived physical dominance

... all are.

And it doesn't violate the rule of "don't be stable", either, because men who consume conspicuously very often are not the picture of safety and security.

In fact, they tend to live quite wildly, and very often the most conspicuous spenders are the same men likely to bankrupt themselves at some point.

It's one of those triggers that cuts right to the most primal core of a woman's gut; when she sees it, a powerful, visceral, deep-seated attraction sets in that compels her to want a man, both by showing him to be among the cream of the crop mating-wise, and by advertising his total lack of viability as a long-term candidate.

How this works - and how you can use it, if you have even just a little bit of money to throw around (or how you can really blow it up if you have a lot) - is what this article is all about.

A reader comments on "How to Think About Women as You Get More Experienced", linking to a discussion on Reddit where a Redditor asks female members about their thoughts on being approached at random, and whether this is nagging them or annoying them... because he feels guilty about it. Here's the link. Our commenter here notes that this discussion has made him question whether he ought to cold approach.

I sympathize if you're newer and haven't started investing time in meeting beautiful strangers yet, and are hesitating before taking the plunge because it looks like a big commitment of time and energy to get good at and a lot of hard knocks and rejections and bumps to overcome along the way.

If you're sitting there wondering whom you ought to listen to, hearing a bunch of people say, "This cold approach malarkey doesn't even work - don't waste your time," can be pretty disheartening.

Maybe even enough to give up on the prospect of even trying in the first place.

But if you walk away from cold approach, you are walking away from one of the single most effective, uplifting, and empowering things you will ever learn to do in any way to improve your dating life, your sex life, your search for the ideal partner, and your own general confidence and happiness to boot. Few things in life will alter the direction of your life as profoundly as the ability to cold approach successfully and effectively.

If that's so though - if cold approach really is as markedly effective and life-enhancing as this - why are there so many forces trying to lead you astray?

Physical escalation is how you take things from platonic to sexually loaded and heaving with desire and anticipation with a girl, often in a short span of time. Escalation is often all the difference between being a girl’s friendly guy pal and being her lover.

We’ve covered physical escalation in various forms on this site before:

• Take Women to Bed: Successful Physical Escalation

• How to Get a Girl in Bed: 10 Crucial Tips for Making Her Yours

• Tactics Tuesdays: How to Touch Women (the Scientific Way)

• 7 Ways to Touch a Girl + 3 Ways to Have HER Touch YOU

• Book Excerpts: 4 Ways for Touching Women

• Book Excerpts: Mastering Sexual Touch

... however, what I want to focus on in today’s article is a comprehensive look at physical escalation in an interaction with a girl, while out, say, in a bar or on a date. How do you get her aroused, horny, and sexually excited in public with you?

That’s the question I’m answering today.

C. Wong posed a question on the article about social value several weeks back, trying to tease out what exactly is the difference between a lover and a loser:

“Dear Chase,

This is another enlightening post, it clarify a lot of misconceptions that confuse men. I am currently digesting the first 200 pages of your ebook (Prob would take me some time to digest everything...those 400+ pgs have too much concepts and details). Anyway, I have a question on your ebook (and your previous article) regarding to the Lover's Value: http://www.girlschase.com/content/does-she-want-you-boyfriend-or-someth...

I understand your pt that the girl would slow things down with us if she noticed we men have lots of achievements, advance degree, and an admirable career etc because it shows we can be a long term husband candidate.

HOWEVER, what is the difference between "a man who offer lots of Lover's Value" and "a man who is plain loser" ? I am confuse, really confuse! Because somewhere in your ebook and your previous articles, u mentioned that u will only tell your woman that you are a writer/author who travel a lot instead of someone who run a business etc...BUT, THE MOST CRAZY PART is that u will even tell the girl that u are currently unemployed (Or unemployed for a very long time) in order for u to get out of the Provider Category. I think THIS IS INSANE!!

Wouldn't the girl think we are a loser if we say that we are unemployed or have been unemployed for a while? I mean, as a lover, your job is to provide romantic experience to the woman. Your job is to be a good "gene donor" who provide great genes.<--[Please tell me is this sentence and my understanding of your thinking is correct, Chase]

Wouldn't the girl think your genes are in low and bad quality if u tell them that you are unemployed in order to get out of the Lover Category? Wouldn't it make more sense if u tell them that you are a senior level engineer, accountant, doctor, lawyer, or business man BUT u will not stay in one location, you are going back to your home state etc? So she would think that u have good genes to gain resource (thus attractive to u), but too bad, u are not local etc?

Thank you very much Chase! Your ebook definitely worth my time and my money.

Warm Regards”

It's an necessary distinction to make, and reaching the point where you HAVE to make this decision is something the average man daren't even try to do... when you haven't raised up your value as a lover high enough, dropping your value as a boyfriend candidate can very quickly leave you with a whole lot of nothing in the dating circuit.

So what is the difference between being a lover... or just being an out-and-out loser?

We've been seeing more comments from readers lately asking about situations like what Mike ran into the other day as remarked on the "How to Steal a Girl" article:

“Hey Chase,

I am 19 and I really appreciate all the insightful information you've made available for guys like me to read who aren't all that experienced.

I have a situation where I've been talking with a girl for a few months, and I finally got to see her for the first time two weekends ago(we live a state apart from each other) after texting, talking on the phone and FaceTiming daily before that.

She had been giving me slight hints that she liked me by little mannerisms and things that were made aware to me by reading your posts. Also, I flew up to see her and she dropped $250 on the hotel and drove me around all weekend, so I got her to invest. The first night I had a plan to have sex with her, and followed your suggestions that you had laid out to the tee.

The night started off great and I could tell she was into me so physical escalation was simple, but after quite a bit of foreplay I made a rookie mistake and left my condoms out of reach. And when I tried to make the move to get them, it took her out of seduction mode and allowed her to think, reminding herself about the internal moral belief she had told me previously about not having sex with guys she's not in a relationship with; therefore killing the vibe for the night.

This was on a Friday night and we spent the rest of the weekend hanging out since we made a special occasion due to the long distance situation. Nothing happened sexually on Saturday or Sunday and she was acting aloof and uninterested on Sunday so I could tell something was up.

I left for home unsure of what was on her mind and now, over a week later, in the time that has passed she has been short texting me with nearly zero emotion or ignoring my texts altogether. In addition, she turned down my offer to facetime, which she has never done before. So it is obvious that something is up, but when I resorted to going "alpha-male" and looking for a response she said she's "been busy?" and didn't respond to my next text asking about it.

Is this a sign of auto-rejection? Or is she testing me with the mixed signals BS? I am really in my head, beating myself up about things I may have done wrong because I know she likes me, but I'm not sure how things could have gone sour so quickly. I thought I had her chasing me and I know she was into me but now I'm afraid I'm getting close to chasing her. Once again, I'm really thankful for all the work you do. I'm aware that this is a lot and my situation is a unique one. I would greatly appreciate any advice and feedback you have for my situation!!

Thank you for your time,

Mike”

That is to say, situations where the guy takes things right up to the point of sex with a new girl... only for it to fall flat; she says 'no', and he walks away, figuring he can always try again later.

Except, after that single failure, there's almost never a "later."

Why do women vanish after you come right to the brink but don't go over - what's the psychology behind this, and what are the options you have to do anything about it?

Last month I shared a report that doubled as a how-to on getting threesomes ("Threesome How-To: Step-by-Step to Get Two Girls") that was a big hit, in which I covered one of my real-life interactions leading to a threesome. What people really liked about it were all the details and the analysis following the tips given in the report. Written this way, the report served as a guide to doing what I do with sex talk and getting threesomes.

I’d therefore like to keep up with the concept of combining reports and how-tos, but I will cover different elements in each of these so as not be repetitive. Today we will mostly cover:

• Logistics (more interesting than you would expect)
• Physical escalation (you will love the parts on escalation)
• And how to handle last minute resistance (LMR)

The point of including this in a report is to show you not just how to deal with last minute resistance, but also how to avoid it entirely, since this resistance is most often a case of you either not screening properly or not handling things properly, although sometimes you really cannot handle things perfectly due to the circumstances you meet a girl in.

My plan with my writing will often be focused about sharing material, but also sharing material within a context. This way I believe it gives you, the reader, a broader perspective about how to use the material in real life situations, and more properly shows and tells how it all works together.