A stange and dissapointing encounter

Hey guys,

I had an odd encounter last night. Comment your thoughts/advice.

I went on a date with a girl last week. She's my age, cute, and seemed normal. She lives with her parents over the summer and I live at a firehouse, so sex is a bit of a challenge. We made out and groped on the first date, and resolved to see each other again.

She texts me this week, and long story short, she claims to be sex deprived this summer after spending a lot of time at work. She said multiple times that she just wants to hookup with me. She wants to rent a hotel or an AirBnb somewhere, and after struggling to find a place, she reserves us a hotel room and tells me not to worry about the money. So I go over around 8:30pm, and we hang out, drink a little bit, and watch TV. Things start to get heated, and we both start removing some clothing. I didn't see her drink that much, but she ends up getting wasted. By the time she starts to give me a blowjob, she stops and tries to tell me some story about a friend who crashed a combine, and says that it was somehow my fault (none of it really made any sense). She acts all drunk, slurring her speech, then trying to cook a frozen burrito, but couldn't figure out how to open the microwave door. After all of this, I become pretty turned off and eventually decide to leave. I get dressed and gather my stuff, and eventually leave, putting up with her crying and begging me not to leave. She also said she didn't feel safe alone, and she'll have sex with me after she eats. I tried to be nice about it, but I left ASAP, three hours after the date started. She texted me some jumbled text messages and called me like four times. She texted me once today saying "what was I saying lol" and I haven't bothered to text back. I don't think I will. Kind of weird.

Any thoughts or advice? Thanks,

Jack

so, a girl tells you quite clearly and in no uncertain terms, that she wants to fuck you. she rents a hotel room for the specific purpose of fucking you, provides booze to lubricate the encounter, and puts your dick in her mouth, and you still don't fuck her? and then you decide that this was a strange and disappointing encounter .. how do you think she is viewing it?


this is your fault brother.

frame control, dominance. decisiveness

lao che said:

so, a girl tells you quite clearly and in no uncertain terms, that she wants to fuck you. she rents a hotel room for the specific purpose of fucking you, provides booze to lubricate the encounter, and puts your dick in her mouth, and you still don't fuck her? and then you decide that this was a strange and disappointing encounter .. how do you think she is viewing it?


this is your fault brother.

Click to expand...

Yeah, sorry, I don't think you quite read that right. She started, then she STOPPED and started telling me random shit and doing dumb stuff. When I tried to get her focused back on the sex, she told me she needed 30 minutes and a burrito before we would start again. I get where you're coming from, but I wasn't gonna go through that for a little sex. It's not like she was halfway through and I stopped her.

Simply put, it was more trouble than it was worth.

Maybe you expect her to run you a bath, soap you up, rinse you off, pat you dry with a soft towel, lay you down, make your dick hard, climb on top, ride you until you cum, clean you off and send you home with a cookie (or a burrito)
I'm curious what you would be willing to go through for "a little sex"

I've broken into buildings and helped girls over walls to seal the deal. I've had girls stop me exactly as I pushed my boner into her, only to sleep on it and try again later in
he morning. Check grand poobas recent post where he spends the night dealing with a girl who absolutely wanted to get down. You gotta ride those waves man

look at it from her point of view . She exaggerated how drunk she was in order to absolve herself of the responsibility. She is nervous, inexperienced, maybe even a virgin. she want you to take over so she can " Blame you"
maybe she just needed a little comfort and a little time. but what she definitely needed is leading, dominance, frame control, not someone who runs away coz he can't use a microwave

Lao Che,

I like where you're coming from with the dominance perspective. I hadn't taken that into consideration.

As far as that application to this scenario, I just don't agree with you. I never expected her to run a bath and treat me like an angel. I don't mind tipsy and dirty sex. But if she is incoherent (can't hold a conversation, telling stories that make no sense, almost can't take care of herself), I don't think sex is the right option. At that point, its kind of a turn off that I have to wait until she's sober enough to maybe have sex. This wasn't your goofy college girl drunk; she was wasted.

Could she be acting and wanting me to take control? Yeah, it's possible. The whole point of us getting tipsy is to lower inhibitions! But at the point in time where talking about, I'd be taking control of some girl that couldn't keep a conversation by sticking my dick in her. My worry here isn't the potential legal stuff. I'm just not turned on by women that are incoherent.

You're right, I wasn't very clear with the "a little sex" statement. My point is that she was causing too much trouble and being too annoying for me to desire to have sex with her. The cost-benefit analysis was not benefiting me, lol! I had plans with a girl I hookup with the next night, so I wasn't feeling desperate. She also was calling and texting me incoherent messages for a few hours afterwards (Ex: "No paid 70...good night I guess night tonight"), so she wasn't sobering up anytime soon.

That being said, thank you for challenging my story and analysis of it.

-J

Yeah makes sense.fair enough

Okay Jack here's a quick three examples from my own experience

* I arrange a meeting with a girl we go to a bar together we drink a couple of beers each and some shots. we leave the bar and walked to where I had parked my scooter. during this short walk she suddenly starts to act very drunk I am sure (hoping) it's an exaggeration so that she can shirk responsibility. like you, i wouldn't wanna hook up with a sloppy drunk, half unconscious girl but i'm not prepared to lose this sale yet. So I put up with it until we get to my bike, letting her lean on me and going along with her drunk act. then I tell her to get on my bike and she was fine. Although it is easy to underestimate how little girls can drink

* Girl acting incredibly stupid and drunk I took her to one side and told her "I didn't come here to babysit you get your shit together" Half an hour later she sobered up and we had a nice time

* A pre-emptive strike. I control how much the girl was drinking, explicitly stating that I didn't want her to get drunk and telling her to take it easy. This can be done in a sexy way with implicit meaning.
I definitely think this is the best way and it also signals to a girl that you are not some creeper who needs to ply a girl with booze to drunk fuck her ..
But as I stated before, it is easy to overestimate how much a girl is capable of drinking and if the two of you are partying together you might come off like a buzz kill. It's situation dependent.

Personally I wouldn't have been leaving in that situation (just because of the investment already, you're 95% of the way there so i'd be hanging on in there for a ROI)
I would have probably thrown the burrito out the window and threw her in the shower. or just ignore her and chill out with a bit of TV for half an hour .. meh anyway, prevention better than cure next time.

still, fair enough for walking away. don't wanna roll a drunk and that's a good thing.

you asked for thoughts so you got em

good day )