Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?



Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Toby » Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:13 pm

I have read a good bit of your posts Chase and it seems like you didn't really take off with women until a later age, hitting your prime at some point in your 20s whether it was over in DC or in Southern California.

The people I am around, it seems like the path for them is to live it up in their youth with high school and college then spend their 20s with a marriage and kids.

It always makes me think that given how game and so much of the social realm kind of has you relying on others to some degree, how guys who are older make it work.

What I mean by this is sure lets say you are in your 20s, single and have money to throw around. In order for social life to work, you have to find others in your situation who also want to enjoy good times and have fun but it seems like almost everyone settles into marriage or an LTR at that point. It is just recently that guys like you and PUA guys have broken from that to chasing women as a single guy in your 20s but how do you make new friends and make it work socially?

I feel like if you are still sleeping around and living the player life past the age of say 25, people want to either avoid you or not be as friendly with you.

Given the different situations and the fact that so many guys settle into an LTR or marry after the age of 22 to 25, how do single guys find other people (men and women) in their situation to socialize with?

How do you make the most of social life after a certain age given that most of your friends around your age are married with kids and such?
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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Franco » Wed Oct 10, 2018 2:39 pm

PF,

What I mean by this is sure lets say you are in your 20s, single and have money to throw around. In order for social life to work, you have to find others in your situation who also want to enjoy good times and have fun but it seems like almost everyone settles into marriage or an LTR at that point. It is just recently that guys like you and PUA guys have broken from that to chasing women as a single guy in your 20s but how do you make new friends and make it work socially?


If you're experiencing this, then it most likely means you're just in a rural or suburban area where people settle down rather quickly.

In San Diego (and especially downtown), there are hordes of singles looking to party and have fun well into their 30s on a regular basis. It's almost harder to find "couples" in certain environments than it is to find singles. It all depends on where you station yourself.

If you noticed, Chase spent his time in DC and San Diego: these are both metropolitan areas with plenty of activities and fun to be had for people who are single in their 20s and 30s. If you're looking to experience this type of fun regularly, then you need to consider moving yourself to a location where like-minded people are actually gathering.

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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Toby » Wed Nov 21, 2018 5:11 pm

Franco.

I never actually thought about it this way really, come to think of it I had limiting beliefs about life after college. The city I am in right now is Atlanta, it is a big city that can slowly feel like a small town but I have not had as much exposure to places outside the south. Have you been in San Diego all your life by the way?
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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Sub-Zero » Thu Nov 22, 2018 12:41 am

I thought Chase said that San Diego wasn't that good? I think it was either too much competition or not enough single women ?

Correct me if I'm wrong tho.





Franco wrote:PF,

What I mean by this is sure lets say you are in your 20s, single and have money to throw around. In order for social life to work, you have to find others in your situation who also want to enjoy good times and have fun but it seems like almost everyone settles into marriage or an LTR at that point. It is just recently that guys like you and PUA guys have broken from that to chasing women as a single guy in your 20s but how do you make new friends and make it work socially?


If you're experiencing this, then it most likely means you're just in a rural or suburban area where people settle down rather quickly.

In San Diego (and especially downtown), there are hordes of singles looking to party and have fun well into their 30s on a regular basis. It's almost harder to find "couples" in certain environments than it is to find singles. It all depends on where you station yourself.

If you noticed, Chase spent his time in DC and San Diego: these are both metropolitan areas with plenty of activities and fun to be had for people who are single in their 20s and 30s. If you're looking to experience this type of fun regularly, then you need to consider moving yourself to a location where like-minded people are actually gathering.

- Franco
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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Chase » Thu Nov 22, 2018 2:00 am

@Sub-Zero,

Sub-Zero wrote:I thought Chase said that San Diego wasn't that good? I think it was either too much competition or not enough single women ?

Correct me if I'm wrong tho.


I never said San Diego was "not that good." San Diego's great. There is tons of opportunity there -- I just said it just requires you to be operating at a higher level:

Chase wrote:You even see this difference between different cities. I moved to Washington, D.C. right after university, where I had a relatively easy time (as far as this goes for a 23-year-old suburban kid meeting city girls for the first time who was making up most of it as he went) picking up new women.

I then moved to San Diego, and struggled for a while. Everyone was better dressed, more attractive, and had better game – and also, the female-male ratio in S.D. is far less favorable to the male sex than the female-male ratio in D.C., and that means fiercer competition.

On the plus side, after climbing my way up to a point where I was doing well enough for myself in San Diego, I now found nearly everywhere else I traveled a cinch by comparison. Because I had tested, honed, and shaped my skills in the fires of a highly competitive city when it comes to mating and dating, I came out on the other end ready to serve as an effective new entrant into other dating markets and clean up right away.


This is why there's such an active pickup community in San Diego. Lots of singles, beach/lifestyle town, attractive women, but also lot of competition that forces you to upgrade yourself to not get left in the dust.

Though you can still do fine there as an intermediate guy. It's a place that will force you to be better though.


@Toby,

Toby wrote:What I mean by this is sure lets say you are in your 20s, single and have money to throw around. In order for social life to work, you have to find others in your situation who also want to enjoy good times and have fun but it seems like almost everyone settles into marriage or an LTR at that point. It is just recently that guys like you and PUA guys have broken from that to chasing women as a single guy in your 20s but how do you make new friends and make it work socially?


I've never particularly cared for "good times" or "having fun." I like building, achieving, accomplishing things. If I can do that through a party (e.g., build or maintain a social circle... improve social skills... pick up a chick... etc.), that might be a worthwhile party. Otherwise it's just going to be a bunch of pointless revelry that ticks away some hours of my life without giving me anything I value back.

When I started out, for the first 6 months of me going hardcore I did nothing but cold approach and dates, mostly ignoring social circle. If I ran into guys I knew in the club, I'd say hi and be a little social, then get back to approaching. I moved to a bigger city and found a wingman through a private pickup forum I was on for alumni of the bootcamp I'd taken. And pretty much my social life was either me spending time with girlfriends, me going out with my wingman to meet girls, or me going out alone to meet girls, with the occasional business happy hour thrown in.

At no point did I feel like an "outcast." I never had a desire to belong to the "cool kids" group -- I WAS the cool kid! The "cool kids" were sitting around on their asses drinking beer and getting man-tits. I was going out by myself into bars and nightclubs gulping down Jack & Cokes and picking up chicks and getting rejected and getting laid. I was banging fashion models and diplomats' daughters and crazy chicks and sexy immigrants. I was doing what everyone else watched movies about doing. I was mother-fucking James Bond.

Then I changed cities, met a new wingman via another friend in the private pickup alumni board, and he would take me out with his group of friends. I discovered I was pretty terrible at navigating through established social circles without being stuck on the outside. So I started throwing myself into every social opportunity I could to improve. I went to Meetup groups and shagged girls from there and hung out with people from there. I went to alumni groups for my university and hung at those parties (and shagged girls from there). I found an invite-only social network I wanted to join, discovered one of my friends from the pickup alumni board was on there, and asked him for an invite. Because invitees reflected on the inviter in that network, he asked me to make sure I made a lot of friends there to reflect well on him, and I did -- I went to every meeting or party they had, connected with everybody there, and scoured the list of people traveling to San Diego and would invite them to meet up (especially the girls!), and we would. I made friends with a talented natural who became a new wingman for me off there, and shagged girls I met off the platform. I went to bartending school and met girls and made friends through that. I went to surfing class, archery class, salsa class, Spanish class, and took up Krav Maga. I let girlfriends introduce me to their coworkers and friends. I hung out with coworkers and made close-ish friends with some of them and got to know their friends. And at the same time I was going out 2-5 nights a week, hitting the bars, hitting the nightclubs, hitting the lounges, picking up one-night stands and taking phone numbers to set up dates for the days I did not have girlfriends to meet up with (and occasionally making friends too; some of my best guy friends over the years have been guys I met at bars or clubs while we were both there chatting up girls). I went to the gym at work and between sets talked to the huge ex-Navy guy; the fitness model girl; and the cocky meathead guy who ran the fitness model competition and treated me like a nobody for a long time until I finally broke through with him. I was busy, busy, busy, busy.

There were times for a while I felt like the weird guy outsider, once I started all this social circle stuff. I couldn't talk to them about girls/picking up, because either they didn't care, or they were focused on social circle and had already shagged half the girls in the group and I hadn't. And all the other stuff they cared and talked about I didn't have much to say on. Despite the discomfort, I just kept going, kept hanging out with as many sufficiently cool people as I possibly could, and over time I grew better and better and better at fitting in with all these different sorts of people.

Eventually you realize you are always an outsider with every new group you join. Until you spend enough time around them that eventually you are not anymore. One day you show up and realize you are 100% part of the group. You know all the in-jokes and what's cool and what isn't and the girls all like you and want to shag you (or have shagged you) and the guys all have your back.

And then you meet some other people and start to hang with that group too. And you're an outsider with that new group... until you're not.

And so on and so forth.

At some point I reached a point where I'd done enough with socializing to know the pattern... if you're a sufficiently cool person, you can become an "insider" anywhere... given time. Though you will always start out as an outsider, and spend time on the outskirts as that guy for a while. Often it takes months of hanging out with a group frequently enough before you're a full-on insider. But you discover it's something you can do, if you want to.

And then you start to end up at the top of the pile in social groups. You keep finding yourself Top Dog. Now you are the coolest guy in the group; the one who more than anyone else decides who and what is "inside" and who/what isn't. And at that point if you're really needy for it I guess you hang around and bask in the power and attention for a while. But usually what happens is most guys tire of it after a while, retreat from socializing with groups, and go back to being loners / semi-loners with a small core of high value friends. Because big group life is very temporally and energetically demanding, but doesn't provide much you will value once you've sat atop the pile for a while.

So yeah, that's the process. Or that's how it worked for me:

  • Did not feel like an outcast in the beginning, because my focus was pure cold approach and I went hard on that
  • Felt like an outcast once I started to hang with groups of non-PUA people and found I didn't mesh that well
  • Embarked on a journey of going super, super hard on participating in group activities and socializing with people non-stop
  • Began to be more and more accepted by more and more different types of groups
  • Learned to gel well with pretty much any group of people
  • Made it to the TOP of the social ladder and became the coolest guy in really cool groups
  • Got bored of the whole thing, started to feel like it wasn't a good use of time, went back to being the loner
  • Now I have the skill set, and gel well with all sorts of people everywhere, without needing to maintain huge time-consuming circles
  • Never feel like an outcast anywhere, because odds are, whatever type of group, I've been "in" with similar groups in the past and I know exactly how to socialize with them

It's a process. You go through it. Either you go hard and socialize constantly and non-stop with all kinds of people to build that ability, or you kind of hover around and hope someones takes pity on you / gives you a social handout, which doesn't really happen, and feel frustrated at being on the outside.

I did the "wait and hope" thing when I was a teen / early 20s and found it doesn't work for me. After that I switched into "if you want it, go and get it" mode and have found that a lot more productive. I recommend it.

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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Sub-Zero » Thu Nov 22, 2018 7:01 am

This was such a great read!!

1. I wanted to know what made you so obsessed with getting better with social skills and sleeping with many women?

It seems like it's more than making up for your younger years. Maybe it was for you to create content for girls chase ? And to keep your coaching skills strong?

I want to know because after being on this site for years I never knew how much work it took to get good with girls. I see now that this is really a skill set you have to work at instead of a hobby.

My main question is, how did you make sleeping with so many girls and going out so much more important than many other things you could have done ?

Like working out, finding new ways to make money, etc. What was the underlying reason that made sleeping with women more important than that ? If it wasn't for your pick up business that is, because if you were going out a lot for that I can understand why because it makes you money in a sense.

Like how you said you like achieving things instead of having fun. Wouldn't achieving things be building a business, working out, making money, etc? And wouldn't having fun be going out to bars and sleeping with women ?

That's what I'm trying to understand, because society has made going out to sleep with women and get better social skills as a waste of time compared to making money.

I'm at that point now, where I see how much work it is, but logically I could be working harder on other things instead of going out to pick up a lot.

I'm just trying to find the reason why, it seems there is something more that I can't understand. I'm not even talking about my own situation, I'm taking in general. What would be the reason to go out to sleep with many women, when you could stay inside and work and work to make more money or do something else?

I'm not saying help me make this important, but to help me see how going out so much and sleeping with many girls can help me in life as with working out, or learning new money making skills.

Just a question because I want to not feel guilty trying to fuck so many girls. I wanna fuck so many girls and go hard at this, but that thought of "responsibilities" comes in my mind. Reading your story sounded so fun, I just want to make sure I can still progress in life while doing this.

2. I also wanted to know is it weird to go hard like you did as an older dude ? I'm sure you were at least in your mid 20s doing all this, which looks normal. Idk how people would look at older guys doing this.

Would it be weird for an older dude to go out as much as you have to sleep with many women and gain social skills?

If you think different, what should he do to still get as much experience as you ?

Thanks







Chase wrote:@Sub-Zero,

Sub-Zero wrote:I thought Chase said that San Diego wasn't that good? I think it was either too much competition or not enough single women ?

Correct me if I'm wrong tho.


I never said San Diego was "not that good." San Diego's great. There is tons of opportunity there -- I just said it just requires you to be operating at a higher level:

Chase wrote:You even see this difference between different cities. I moved to Washington, D.C. right after university, where I had a relatively easy time (as far as this goes for a 23-year-old suburban kid meeting city girls for the first time who was making up most of it as he went) picking up new women.

I then moved to San Diego, and struggled for a while. Everyone was better dressed, more attractive, and had better game – and also, the female-male ratio in S.D. is far less favorable to the male sex than the female-male ratio in D.C., and that means fiercer competition.

On the plus side, after climbing my way up to a point where I was doing well enough for myself in San Diego, I now found nearly everywhere else I traveled a cinch by comparison. Because I had tested, honed, and shaped my skills in the fires of a highly competitive city when it comes to mating and dating, I came out on the other end ready to serve as an effective new entrant into other dating markets and clean up right away.


This is why there's such an active pickup community in San Diego. Lots of singles, beach/lifestyle town, attractive women, but also lot of competition that forces you to upgrade yourself to not get left in the dust.

Though you can still do fine there as an intermediate guy. It's a place that will force you to be better though.


@Toby,

Toby wrote:What I mean by this is sure lets say you are in your 20s, single and have money to throw around. In order for social life to work, you have to find others in your situation who also want to enjoy good times and have fun but it seems like almost everyone settles into marriage or an LTR at that point. It is just recently that guys like you and PUA guys have broken from that to chasing women as a single guy in your 20s but how do you make new friends and make it work socially?


I've never particularly cared for "good times" or "having fun." I like building, achieving, accomplishing things. If I can do that through a party (e.g., build or maintain a social circle... improve social skills... pick up a chick... etc.), that might be a worthwhile party. Otherwise it's just going to be a bunch of pointless revelry that ticks away some hours of my life without giving me anything I value back.

When I started out, for the first 6 months of me going hardcore I did nothing but cold approach and dates, mostly ignoring social circle. If I ran into guys I knew in the club, I'd say hi and be a little social, then get back to approaching. I moved to a bigger city and found a wingman through a private pickup forum I was on for alumni of the bootcamp I'd taken. And pretty much my social life was either me spending time with girlfriends, me going out with my wingman to meet girls, or me going out alone to meet girls, with the occasional business happy hour thrown in.

At no point did I feel like an "outcast." I never had a desire to belong to the "cool kids" group -- I WAS the cool kid! The "cool kids" were sitting around on their asses drinking beer and getting man-tits. I was going out by myself into bars and nightclubs gulping down Jack & Cokes and picking up chicks and getting rejected and getting laid. I was banging fashion models and diplomats' daughters and crazy chicks and sexy immigrants. I was doing what everyone else watched movies about doing. I was mother-fucking James Bond.

Then I changed cities, met a new wingman via another friend in the private pickup alumni board, and he would take me out with his group of friends. I discovered I was pretty terrible at navigating through established social circles without being stuck on the outside. So I started throwing myself into every social opportunity I could to improve. I went to Meetup groups and shagged girls from there and hung out with people from there. I went to alumni groups for my university and hung at those parties (and shagged girls from there). I found an invite-only social network I wanted to join, discovered one of my friends from the pickup alumni board was on there, and asked him for an invite. Because invitees reflected on the inviter in that network, he asked me to make sure I made a lot of friends there to reflect well on him, and I did -- I went to every meeting or party they had, connected with everybody there, and scoured the list of people traveling to San Diego and would invite them to meet up (especially the girls!), and we would. I made friends with a talented natural who became a new wingman for me off there, and shagged girls I met off the platform. I went to bartending school and met girls and made friends through that. I went to surfing class, archery class, salsa class, Spanish class, and took up Krav Maga. I let girlfriends introduce me to their coworkers and friends. I hung out with coworkers and made close-ish friends with some of them and got to know their friends. And at the same time I was going out 2-5 nights a week, hitting the bars, hitting the nightclubs, hitting the lounges, picking up one-night stands and taking phone numbers to set up dates for the days I did not have girlfriends to meet up with (and occasionally making friends too; some of my best guy friends over the years have been guys I met at bars or clubs while we were both there chatting up girls). I went to the gym at work and between sets talked to the huge ex-Navy guy; the fitness model girl; and the cocky meathead guy who ran the fitness model competition and treated me like a nobody for a long time until I finally broke through with him. I was busy, busy, busy, busy.

There were times for a while I felt like the weird guy outsider, once I started all this social circle stuff. I couldn't talk to them about girls/picking up, because either they didn't care, or they were focused on social circle and had already shagged half the girls in the group and I hadn't. And all the other stuff they cared and talked about I didn't have much to say on. Despite the discomfort, I just kept going, kept hanging out with as many sufficiently cool people as I possibly could, and over time I grew better and better and better at fitting in with all these different sorts of people.

Eventually you realize you are always an outsider with every new group you join. Until you spend enough time around them that eventually you are not anymore. One day you show up and realize you are 100% part of the group. You know all the in-jokes and what's cool and what isn't and the girls all like you and want to shag you (or have shagged you) and the guys all have your back.

And then you meet some other people and start to hang with that group too. And you're an outsider with that new group... until you're not.

And so on and so forth.

At some point I reached a point where I'd done enough with socializing to know the pattern... if you're a sufficiently cool person, you can become an "insider" anywhere... given time. Though you will always start out as an outsider, and spend time on the outskirts as that guy for a while. Often it takes months of hanging out with a group frequently enough before you're a full-on insider. But you discover it's something you can do, if you want to.

And then you start to end up at the top of the pile in social groups. You keep finding yourself Top Dog. Now you are the coolest guy in the group; the one who more than anyone else decides who and what is "inside" and who/what isn't. And at that point if you're really needy for it I guess you hang around and bask in the power and attention for a while. But usually what happens is most guys tire of it after a while, retreat from socializing with groups, and go back to being loners / semi-loners with a small core of high value friends. Because big group life is very temporally and energetically demanding, but doesn't provide much you will value once you've sat atop the pile for a while.

So yeah, that's the process. Or that's how it worked for me:

  • Did not feel like an outcast in the beginning, because my focus was pure cold approach and I went hard on that
  • Felt like an outcast once I started to hang with groups of non-PUA people and found I didn't mesh that well
  • Embarked on a journey of going super, super hard on participating in group activities and socializing with people non-stop
  • Began to be more and more accepted by more and more different types of groups
  • Learned to gel well with pretty much any group of people
  • Made it to the TOP of the social ladder and became the coolest guy in really cool groups
  • Got bored of the whole thing, started to feel like it wasn't a good use of time, went back to being the loner
  • Now I have the skill set, and gel well with all sorts of people everywhere, without needing to maintain huge time-consuming circles
  • Never feel like an outcast anywhere, because odds are, whatever type of group, I've been "in" with similar groups in the past and I know exactly how to socialize with them

It's a process. You go through it. Either you go hard and socialize constantly and non-stop with all kinds of people to build that ability, or you kind of hover around and hope someones takes pity on you / gives you a social handout, which doesn't really happen, and feel frustrated at being on the outside.

I did the "wait and hope" thing when I was a teen / early 20s and found it doesn't work for me. After that I switched into "if you want it, go and get it" mode and have found that a lot more productive. I recommend it.

Chase
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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Toby » Sat Nov 24, 2018 2:22 pm

Awesome reply Chase, thank you!

I was a lot like you in my college days. You see, I started out at a local community college before transferring to a state school (top 20 party school) and just spent a lot of time doing some cold approach and game. I did try to make friends but given that it was in the south, I ran into the same issue I am running into in Atlanta. The cool party kids and ones with thousands of social media followers and likes ignored me while the religious morally self-righteous types accepted me as long as I played to their mentality of life meaning no drinking, partying or anything of the sort.

After taking some time to really think about it Chase, I wrote down why I feel the way I do towards social life and here it is.

Its like you have hot girls, the guys they hang out with, and their crew. You had this thing in high school and to my surprise, it was definitely the thing in college even moreso than high school. Then you have me, I might occasionally get a date and all but I am never a part of that crowd like some guys like and the guys who are a part of that crowd are the ones going to parties with hot girls, posing with them on social media and getting to go out with their crew. I am not a part of that.

Even now after college, that is my sticking point and end goal with social life. TBH Chase, I feel like I actually want to pose with hot girls more and be a part of the crews and social life they run in, to be at events with them, celebrate things with them and have that validation moreso than I want to actually fuck them right now. Maybe it is pedestalization in my head of these social circles but I have always been excluded from them my whole life that I finally want to feel included in them.

I never cared for this stuff in high school because I grew up poor, my high school sucked and the girls were mostly not all that attractive so I just focused on moving on. Overbearing parents and a mother with attachment issues kept me at a community college despite me having the grades to go elsewhere but at 18 or so, I started caring.

Then I transferred to a read university after finally telling my mom to fuck off and go to hell, that was when I realized the importance of Greek Life and a host of other shit that matters on an American college campus. I was too old to rush any frats at the time and none wanted to bid an upperclassman except for the TKEs and real low status frats which no one wanted to really be a part of.

Looking back, it was then that I realized what I had missed out on.

Some of the hot girls commonly hung out with a crew and had their crew in college, there were certain guys in that crew, I never had that.

Now after college, I wonder if that is even a thing and if I can even have that because I wonder if hot girls do that anymore or if cool guys do that anymore. I always feel like I am a step behind playing catch up with the high quality people in my eyes and it sucks.

I mean sure there are hot girls like strippers and escorts who don't really care about this sort of stuff but I am talking about the former sorority girl types who is in that "in crowd" with younger people in their 20s around her age, the girls with a crew and even the former social guys in college who have their crew of young educated people that want to party and go out.

At this point I am so lost on social life, every attempt I make I end up falling short.

Completely OT here Chase but did you end up doing anything with what you learned in Bartending school? I am trying to get a side gig as a bartender or something at a bar to go with my typical 9 to 5 which I will be doing on the weekdays.
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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Toby » Sat Nov 24, 2018 2:39 pm

The funny thing is, as I get older I notice dating actually gets a lot easier. Maybe it is because women are no longer socially constrained by their suffocating social groups like they were in high school and college but I feel like it gets significantly easier. I have had 7 dates in the past few months from just dating apps alone. A few professionally done photos and I feel like I punch above my weight class on these dating apps.

What gets more difficult is finding your crew and trying to make sense of social life. It is why when I read so much from these men who are 30+ and killing it with dating, I don't really seem to read anything about their social life or even come across much there. Things might just change with the generation given that more than half of all adults are not married but it is my personal annoyance with people. You get all of this partying, socializing and that stuff out of your system by high school and college when really you are supposed to be developing yourself.

Then when you have money, are financially stable, no longer need to rely on parents (in my case awful parents) for anything and determine your life path then you just go off and get married with kids before 30. I mean it could just be a southern thing, even in Atlanta people shame you for being single after the age of 30. I just wonder why with so much of life to live and enjoy, more and more people don't just take a lot of the social fun from high school and college on to the real world.

People bitch about jobs, well I was a STEM major and the working world was a piece of cake for me when I was employed compared to staying up late nights studying for exams and pulling my hair out over my GPA.

I personally feel like life has gotten easier for me after college than it ever was in college which was hell for me, not even socially but the fact that the responsibilities were far more severe.

I am crazy as fuck I guess, the misfit that is living life in reverse. All of these kids with good parents who were brought up in nice homes and environments, had all the social fun in high school, had parents pay for their college, took easy majors and are now just "settling down" with life at the age of 25 and I feel like I just survived hell and am just starting to see freedom.

I always feel like I am one of the few in the United States for wanting to party well into my 30s, sleep around with randoms and find other friends and crew that want to do just that.

Some things about life, I will never get, I never will.

Why can't god or whoever controls humanity just make more and more men like Chase and Franco past the age of 30?

Why are we cursed with so many of these fucking losers that want to get married before 30 and then judge everyone else for not doing the same damn thing?
Toby


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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Franco » Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:43 pm

Toby,

Why can't god or whoever controls humanity just make more and more men like Chase and Franco past the age of 30?

Why are we cursed with so many of these fucking losers that want to get married before 30 and then judge everyone else for not doing the same damn thing?


You just gotta move, man. If you can't right now, then focus all of your attention on doing what needs to be done to move to a big city. Believe me: Chase and I are definitely not the only guys in their 30s picking up women. There are many, many guys in their 30s doing exactly what we do, with or without a PUA background. But guess where they all moved to? The big cities... where they can fulfill that desire.

- Franco
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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Toby » Tue Nov 27, 2018 12:42 am

Much needed bump but a double post. I also got some movement on the service industry work at a local dive.
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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Toby » Tue Nov 27, 2018 12:42 am

One would think Atlanta is a big city right Franco?

I am working on finalizing some opportunities in the major cities though, will keep you guys posted!
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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Franco » Tue Nov 27, 2018 3:49 pm

One would think Atlanta is a big city right Franco?


I've never been to Atlanta, so I couldn't tell ya much about it.

Cities I know are good:

  • New York City
  • San Diego
  • Austin
  • Dallas
  • Miami
  • Portland
  • Seattle
  • Las Vegas
  • Los Angeles
  • Tempe/Scottsdale
  • New Orleans
  • Washington D.C.

Cities I've heard low-key "good" whispers:

  • Minneapolis
  • Denver
  • Chicago

I honestly don't travel much, but I've spent an abundance of time in Southern California and have never once encountered the issues you mentioned in Los Angeles, San Diego, or Las Vegas. The cities are all known to be fantastic tourist spots with lots of high-energy young adults looking to enjoy their own lives.

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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Grand Pooba » Tue Nov 27, 2018 5:03 pm

Franco wrote:Cities I know are good:

New York City
San Diego
Austin
Dallas
Miami
Portland
Seattle
Las Vegas
Los Angeles
Tempe/Scottsdale
New Orleans
Washington D.C.


Cities I've heard low-key "good" whispers:

Minneapolis
Denver
Chicago


I can vouch for NYC, LA, San Diego, Chicago, Miami, Denver, Minneapolis, Austin, Tempe/Scottsdale, Las Vegas, and Portland.
Seattle generally does not have the most attractive women, some exceptions.
NoLa I've heard is good, and it's cheap.
I might also add Nashville - have heard good things if you like more liberal white Southern women, it's the country capital of North America.
Personally also like Savannah, GA.
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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Toby » Fri Nov 30, 2018 11:52 pm

So some huge life updates and major decisions that will likely need to be made in the coming week. I had a couple on-site interviews in NYC, one yesterday and two the day before. Just came back home today and I also received word that one of the companies I applied to in Denver about 2 weeks ago and had a final round with earlier this week, great brand name, feels great about my candidacy. Lets see where that goes although the recruiter I have been working with along with my future boss have told me that they would love to have me, asked when I could start, salary I would desire and tried to sell me on what they are doing too. A lot of signs point to the fact that the opportunity could finalize and I feel like the opportunities in NYC went well too, unfortunately, they are both under six figures and NYC is so damn expensive!

Been looking at apartments all over, looked on StreetEasy, and it is tough to get a decent place in a decent area. The places I was looking at such as Williamsburg, Lower East Side, and all of the popular neighborhoods are costing at least 1800 and up. Not sure how to make this roommate situation work, not close at all from any of the folks from my alma mater who moved to NYC so a tough part in finding a halfway decent roommate I have checked out Craig's list too as well as played around with the idea of posting on a Facebook alumni group.

Right now I am kind of split on a decision in my life. As much as I have disliked Atlanta, it has given me a nice comfortable apartment at a pretty good rate, some things you just take for granted although a lot sucks about this city. I am so lost on how to about my decision being that I am in my mid-20s.

On one hand I take the job in Denver that will come with good pay, stay there for a couple years. Maybe I work on my health more, self-development, make friends more since the city has a growing population of millennials, find stuff to do, going to have an awesome dating life anyways since I am a handsome motherfucker, and enjoy a state with a better quality of life.

Then by that time I am in my late 20s, I know NYC will be there but will it be the same? Being 28 in NYC compared to being 25 in the city. Fitting in socially with the crowd, going out clubbing, getting that chance to bartend in the city at some point, being a part of that in crowd, enjoying what the city has to offer. I wonder if I will have the energy for it or if I will even be able to live the high life in the city at that point, really engage in the parties, the nightlife, and all the fun the city offers compared to where I am now where I am desperate for that thing.

Even though I'll get laid a good bit, man oh man that foreign Euro pussy in NYC.....

These questions have been on my head. Obviously I wait to see how the job situation plays out but still.
Toby


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Re: Chase, how do you stop from feeling like an outcast given your path?

Postby Toby » Fri Dec 07, 2018 12:08 am

Update on my part guys, I have decided to move to NYC. Just heard back this morning that a company I applied for really loved me and has decided to make me an offer.
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