Suddenly cutting things off

Korvager

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 17, 2014
Messages
32
Location
Southern California
Hey gents,

For the past few months I've been managing to slay the tinder game. Being busy with school, it has made meeting women a lot more convenient for me, and I've managed to create a pool of several women that I rotate through whenever free time presents itself, and occassionally I'll hop back on tinder and meet some new ones.

A while back I matched with a cute girl we'll call M, and from the get go it was apparent that our connection was strong. I saw her for about a month, and we both very much enjoy each other's company. The last week of the semester, she initiated the idea of me spending the last three nights at her place, since she'd have her apartment to herself, and we'd both be going home for christmas break for about a month. We solidified the plan.

The 1st of 3 nights comes, and as expected, we have an incredible time together. Great conversation, great deep diving/learning more about each other, great sex, etc. The 2nd day she let's me know that since we got pretty "distracted" that night, she will probably need more time this 2nd night to study for her last exam on the 3rd day. I'm okay with this, and over text the mood seems completely normal, until that evening when she starts to feel a little off. I mentally dismiss it as a result of some family issues I know she's been having that have affected her (more on that in a moment), and before I go to sleep, I mention that I hope shes doing alright. She responds thanking me, but it's a far shorter text than she usually sends me.

Come the 3rd morning, I shoot her a good luck text and then go about my day, looking forward to the night to come. I take a mental note that she never responds to it, which one could easily chalk up to her being a busy person, but in the case of this girl, it is once again very unlike her. I continue to assume it's the same problem affecting her. It comes to about the time I was expecting her to finish her exam, and I receive 2 texts from her. One, responding to my good luck text from the morning, and the 2nd one asking if she could call me for a moment. At this point I'm still not thinking too much of it, since we talk on the phone every so often. I cant remember exactly how it went, but the conversation went something like this:

"*brief exchange about how her test went"
M: "so I called to say that I think we should stop seeing each other"
Me: "and why is that?"
M: "I like you. I like you a lot. And the natural progression of things kind of feels like we're headed to a relationship at some point. I dont think I'm ready for that (her reasoning for this is the problems she's had with her family and the effect it's taken on her). And you don't deserve to be with someone like this. *she said some more that I cant remember*"
Me: "isnt it our choice whether or not we end up in a relationship?"
M: "yes but it just feels like the natural progression of what you and I have"
Me: "Are you sure this is what you want?"
M: "yeah I think so"
Me: "okay"
.
.
.
Now, a couple things are worth mentioning. I know there are a few common reasons that women will say they're not ready for a relationship (apart from not actually being ready for one), one being that they don't feel a very good connection to the man, and the other being that the man didnt give her very good sex. I'm confident that neither of those things are the case here.

In terms of sex, so much as a sexual look from me can get her horny, and she's admitted to me that the orgasms I give her are more intense and longer than she's ever experienced.

In terms of our connection, neither of us has ever met someone that matches our level of intellect, combined with emotional depth and ability to read/understand the other person. In fact I'm so confident in how well I match her that the idea of her meeting someone else she likes more than me (while I logically know there are people out there taller, better looking, more charming/charismatic/etc), was almost laughable. I even jokingly said this to her once, and without blinking she agreed with me.

In terms of the problems I mentioned earlier, I'm one of the only people she felt okay opening up to about them that didn't make her feel badly about it. It gives her nightmares every night, and sleeping next to me was the first good night of sleep she got in months. I'm also the only person that was able to make her feel comfortable about it (which baffled her how it didnt faze me), while simultaneously not getting all white-knightey about it like I know men often to with a damsel in distress situation. I had made it very clear to her in the past that it didn't affect the way I see her and that I valued the incredible connection we had. Gentlemen, I'm baffled.

I'd appreciate any insight on the situation and how I'd go about salvaging it. For a time frame, I'm currently writing this post about 4 days after that last phone call. There has been no contact since. Also worth noting we are both at home for Christmas break, so we won't be in the same city as each other for about a month.

Thanks for the help,
K
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
Hey man it honestly sounds like, based on her responses/actions that you mightve gotten either a tad needy, perhaps by your investment to agree to give her three nights back to back for her... I mean I'm more experienced in seduction than relationships so maybe someone more experienced could weigh in but that just seems like a lot of investment and predictability to give her even if you do have an AMAZInG connection. Im pretty sure that the recommendation for women your not in a relationship with is once a week.

Thats my read at least... what is for sure is that she felt like things were getting more relationshippy (whether you were actually pushing that way or not) which is why she called and told you that. Remember the girls suppossed to push for the relationship so somewhere along the lines the power dynamic shifted from her chasing to you chasing and it felt too much investment on your part (again my guess is because you agreed to give her 3 nights in a row of your time while not actually being in a relationship)...

As far as recovering goes having her see you socially with other girls will surely be your strongest bet (like that 90% def work)... other than that you know a "sorry to see you go but plenty of fish in the sea for us if thats what you need to do" and she might reach out next semester when she's lonely/horny.

Good luck man,
-Rob
 

Alpha13SC

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 13, 2021
Messages
342
I know it's an older post, but I'll reply to for other who will have the same situation.
Short story: I think Mr.Rob is right.
Long story: I had a girl one time which liked me because I had that bad attitude, saw in me a fuckboy, drive around her with my motorcycle. We fucked good. At one point she was so invested that she bought me a bracelet(expensive one) that I wanted. Her roomate was off for a week, and she wanted to stay with her. I stayed. Slept at her for about a week. She had a medical problem then and couldn't have sex for 2 weeks I think. That was in december, everybody went home(we were from different cities). We met again in January, had sex, but already felt something was not alright. After that day she stopped responding. I followed with a call 2 days later to see what happened. She told me that she senses that I would want a relationship and things were going in that direction. I understood and never called her again. She reached with a text at a time but just kept it short.
Did I wanted a relationship? No, but it was comfortable for me to spend time with that girl(She cooked me meals, she even cleaned my shoes before I go to work). They do things when they like you. Be the same powerful man, bad boy if you presented in that position. Right now, I'm not seeing a girl more that 3 times a week, never 2 days in a row. Even if she likes you. She must miss you.

Hope you learn something,
Alpha13S
 

DonGately

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2020
Messages
242
Yeah, I'm a 2x a week max guy myself. She wants to see me on Sat and Wed nights? Fine. I'm not adding another daoy in there, although I am willing to spend a lot of time together those 2 days. But only if I really want to, obviously, lots of hot sex involved, etc.
 
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