Dicey, Unique situation!!! Any advice is much appreciated.

omarmo93

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 12, 2018
Messages
11
I’ll try to make this as concise as possible.

I’ve been reading and applying things from girlschase for 6 years now, and I’ve met many incredible women. Slept with around 50 girls. Abundance mentality is there, maybe not absolute abundance though.

Anyways, been traveling for the past year in Australia. Slept with 8 girls in the past year, and at the end met an incredible girl I’d consider relationship material. She’s cute, but her personality really appeals to me. I’m her third guy (Its a very likely fact, I’m extremely nonjudgemental and sexually open and she told me after we slept together. Shes midst sexual awakening, and I helped her with that), she doesnt party much at all, barely drinks, caring, sweet, and very honest. I’d put her as “shy and excited.” Anyways, we spent an amazing 3 weeks together, then went our separate ways. She is au pairing in another country and I’m in another city to work.

We decided to keep talking because we were really into each other, and weve been talking for 2 weeks now through skype, and it’s gotten us closer, but were not exclusive. She’ll be out there for 7 more weeks, which after we plan on going on a getaway together for 1.5 weeks in Australia. After that we part ways again for 6 weeks. I go to America to visit the friends and fam, and shes going to Singapore. Then after that, end of January, I was going to New Zealand and I asked her to join me; she said yes and were going to travel for a year. In New Zealand we will most likely be monogamous.

Heres where it gets dicey. She told me she was going to Singapore to stay with a friend and travel. I asked her if she had slept with him, she said no, but she said she probably will. It’s someone she liked when she first met, but they never slept together because he had a girlfriend. With help from Ricardus’s article, I showed some healthy jealousy. Said I was jealous but I knew I was going to sleep with other people before we go to New Zealand together and it would be hypocritical of me to ask her not to go. So I didn’t give up my power, nor did I get needy.

I know its bound to happen that I will sleep with other girls between now and New Zealand. Im sure as hell not going to stop enjoying myself and atleast trying to have more sex while we have this distance. And of course, I am somewhat outcome independent. If it doesnt work out by the time New Zealand comes around, I can always find someone else. But I want to give this a shot, shes solid relationship material, we want the same things, and we like each other alot. New Zealand will be a very sexually explorative time for me if it happens with her. But I’m jealous too and would rather her not go stay with this guy even though were not exclusive.

MY POSSIBLE SOLUTION: I’ve thought about it and I think my best route is to tell her that “of course I’m jealous because I care about you and I want you to be mine but I can’t stop you from going to Singapore and staying with that guy. But I cant commit to you either yet because I know I’ll sleep with other girls before New Zealand and it’ll be unfair if I’m sleeping with other girls but I dont let her sleep with other guys. But I’ glad youre honest about it. I always want you to be as honest as you can with me. So lets see how it goes and if by the time New Zealand comes around after singapore for you and after America for me, if we still feel the same way about each other, lets travel together.

Thoughts? Advice? Any sort of feedback is much appreciated.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
I think you just tell her" Listen, when we are together, we are together. You do what feels right when we are apart, and I'll do the same."

I'd stay away from specifically saying you are going to have sex with other people. You also are not giving her specific permission but appealing to her sense of morality. You maintain your appearance of outcome independence, and also keep your options open.
 

omarmo93

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 12, 2018
Messages
11
Legend. Thanks for that mate, will use that one.

Any other perspectives are also very welcome and appreciated.
 

omarmo93

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 12, 2018
Messages
11
Made this reply with the help of Chase’s relationship jealousy article:

Look all I can say is this. Take two people who are even minutely attracted to each other and stick them in one place for three weeks doing things together everyday. Then throw sex into the equation and see where it leads. Now im not saying with certainty that strong feelings are going to grow. But ive seen situations in work where two people even hate each other and end up going on a work trip together for two weeks and by the end of it ended up dating for two years. Its just how humans work, the more people spend time together, the further attachment grows, whether they get closer as friends or as lovers. Im not saying if itll happen or not, just stating standard human behaviour and from experience.
Other than that, when were together, were together. But when were apart, you do what feels right, and I’ll do the same, until if and when new Zealand comes around.

Thoughts?
 
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