Already Fucked, But She Says, "Let's Take Things Slower"

Hue

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
1,453
So I'm in the process of making Koala into a consistent FB. Venice on the other hand I would like to make into a MLTR. Was thinking about how I go about this process in its own post, but there's the general mindset I have right now. Both girls are relatively recent lays from last month that I fucked the same weekend.


Anyways, in the case of Koala - she has been a bit weird compared to other girls I've made FB's.

As far as I know, she's only had boyfriends up till this point, and has had very few ONS's. She's a "serial monogamist", so fucking me is a bit different for her. I also have a striking resemblance to her last boyfriend which naturally makes her like me more. We had good sex the first night we met after I persisted, and went on to fuck again the week after that where she had much better orgasms and I lasted like 3 times as long. Unfortunately, she flaked on the date we had after that because of being busy, and found out a few days later she had an STI.

So, after our most recent fuck, she went out with her girlfriend again who encouraged her to try another guy (try the being single thing for what it's worth) and she fucked some other dude. It could have been either of us that gave her the STI. In any situation, she texts me what happened and I call her. I was kinda thinking out loud and gave complete honesty to my sexual relations before our most recent fuck, and there were 2 likely candidates that could have given it to me.

Since this conversation, she has been trying to get more investment out of me, and also was not down for sex our last meet because "the STI isn't out of our system yet". While we were lying in bed she asked me a bunch of questions about my relationships and this time I was slightly more honest than the usual dodges of "I've fucked millions of women" because of the STI situation. My buddy even speculates that the STI could have been a ploy to find out more about my sex life since I still haven't heard a "you tested positive" call from my health provider.

Finally, while we're lying there she suggests "let's take things slow" and I asked what she meant. She just said "I think we should just take things slower" and I told her that I'm not sure if she's talking about sex or relationshipy stuff, and that it's best just to see where things go with no titles or expectations (though in the past she said word for word she wanted to be FB's). Eventually I also tell her I'm not into this whole "withholding sex" thing if that's what she's going for, because that doesn't leave either party happy (and I've tried it, it fucking doesn't).


So I'm confused on what all could be going on here, but my gut says that she just wants more investment out of me. Or, that she wants more control with how this "relationship" has been working. The sex is good and she's cool, so I enjoy having her around. Part of my mind is thinking though, "if she's withholding sex, next", and I think she can notice this. I also understand that building relationships is a different animal than simply seducing a girl, so I thought I'd reach out here.

What do you guys think, and how can I turn this into FB's given the current dynamic? Should I not be expecting sex, or should I be?


Hue
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
"You are right. We shouldn't rush into a mono relationship because we are so damn compatible in bed. While sex is an important part of a relationship, it takes time to really know what we each want out of a true partner. Let's keep doing what we are so damn good at , and continue to grow as individuals. Somewhere down the line we might decide to be exclusive, but I want us both to feel ready for that."

Basically you are flipping the script on the traditional "Let's wait to have sex "argument.
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
1,453
FT,

Thanks for this. I think she / the majority of people surrounding her aren't exactly keen on that type of relationship (for whatever reason). Her one friend convincing her to try the single life isn't in her usual group apparently.

This is a good reframe for next time I see her, will definitely give her my version. She's just given me such mixed signals / flip flops about thing since after our first night together it's been confusing and makes me partially want to next her.


Hue
 
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