Unusual long distance situation

samsonite

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Aug 17, 2018
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My situation is a little unusual so try to pay attention haha-

I had a ONS with a girl I met in thailand who is from germany in march (I'm from the states), then I texted her off and on for 4 months while I "jetsetted" around the world (I haven't been home since march) and she was in berlin where she lives looking at me on instagram doing crazy shit. I eventually showed up (after giving her only 2 days notice that I would be visiting her) and she was super excited bc she asked me several time to visit. We went out but it was not romantic in the least. At the same time though, the night we hooked up in Thailand she didn't act crazy excited until we were in bed and she let loose so maybe she isn't into pda. Back to the date- looking back I apparently came across like a player(I kind of am) or maybe this aloof guy floating around with no cares and I think it turned her off. In the beginning of the date she asked me to show her the pics and like an idiot I opened my phone and literally looked through it while she sat across from me and I laughed kind of dubiously at the pics and said something about I cant show her or some shit and I was actually serious bc Im fucking girls and shit on there.... I'm an idiot.. and there were other hints of that while on the date.. I actually like this girl and don't know how to act not like a "player". When you live a life like mine I guess girls don't trust you. Anyway I couldn't set up another date the week I was there, even though the week before that meetup, when she found out I was headed to berlin, she asked me 2x via text to go to mallorca this week with her and her gf. Both times I gave a half assed - "that sounds awesome" response. lol So i don't know if she was put off from me acting like a schmuck or not attracted all of a sudden. Because she was taking so long to respond after our date, I simply brought up the obvious about me traveling and having fun (with other girls obviously but i didn't mention the girls in the text OBVIOUSLY) but I wanted to get to know her better and is why I showed up to berlin. She responded - hey sorry I worked everyday yada yada getting ready for mallorca-- and then the kicker- "I'm so sorry about that but we all know that's u lookin for a fun ;)"
so I don't know if she sees me as a player and is turned off bc she was excited to meet for 4 months and then I looked like a douche or if shes just not into me and then i can write her off. I am now in Athens and she in mallorca and not sure if i should write her off.. My life is not normal and it really makes finding a connection difficult

Any advice is appreciated,
DR

A couple additional things- I had never called her, I only texted her while I traveled. Also one time I sent her a pic of a meal setting for 2 at breakfast overlooking a beach and she asked if I was alone. I didn't actually respond to it because I was with another girl who was only a friend and didn't want to deal with that over text. :l She didn't respond to my msgs for a few days after that. And the day before I sent that pic she was all lovey dovey and sending me pics of her.

She found out I was coming to town when I had the concierge at the hotel hand deliver a teddy bear to her at work with a note that i would be coming to berlin to see her. She ate it up and was so excited and invited me on the trip right after..

Additional odd thing. At 1 point during the date (after the phone pictures mishap) I asked her if she had any siblings and her response was a combination of shock and anger or annoyance that I even asked that lol and she answered and then asked me if I had any but again seemed odd
 

Hector Papi Castillo

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Dec 2, 2013
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2,589
Samsonite,

Yeah, the sneaky comments about other girls probably set her off (while you were going through your phone).

Also her inviting you with her friend, you should have been like, "Hell yeah. Let's do it!" She likes you. No need to do the player thing.

You can have an unconventional player life without seeming like a player. Try to be super nice with girls from now. You might overshoot it for a while, but you won't get responses like this. If a girl is asking you to go places with her and shows interest, accept it and amplify.

Small other changes: don't mention other girls, tell less crazy stories (focus more on the travel part and people in general), and try to focus on talking about you two together.

She mentions Mallorca?

"Oh yeah, that's be so cool. Let's do it. Can't wait!" and talk about what you guys can do together. Visualize it. Girls fall in love with that shit.

Hector
 
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