Managing Commitment Points

ProblemSolving · Apr 13, 2013

I'm referring to Chases article on commitment points:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/commitment-points-why-you-must-avoid

In the past, I've always tried to mirror my girls' level of commitment. If she wasn't texting a bunch of guys or partying, then I wasn't doing the same with girls. However, like Chases article says, this isn't enough when your girl has men hitting on her everyday. To create a balance, you must make a point of going out, meeting and flirting with new girls. It seems so odd though, having to meet new girls to keep your girl attracted!

In a long term relationship, or marriage for that matter, how do you go about keeping your strength and her attraction in light of your commitment to each other? Where do you draw the line of pushing the boundaries of your commitment too far where she might suspect you of cheating and lose trust in you or not enough where she loses attraction for you?

trashKENNUT · Apr 14, 2013

Problemsolving,

This thread might help,

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=41&p=196&hilit=expectation#p196

and this one as well.

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=121&p=341&hilit=expectation#p341

Zac

Chase · May 16, 2013

PS-

ProblemSolving said:
I'm referring to Chases article on commitment points:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/commitment-points-why-you-must-avoid

In the past, I've always tried to mirror my girls' level of commitment. If she wasn't texting a bunch of guys or partying, then I wasn't doing the same with girls. However, like Chases article says, this isn't enough when your girl has men hitting on her everyday. To create a balance, you must make a point of going out, meeting and flirting with new girls. It seems so odd though, having to meet new girls to keep your girl attracted!

In a long term relationship, or marriage for that matter, how do you go about keeping your strength and her attraction in light of your commitment to each other? Where do you draw the line of pushing the boundaries of your commitment too far where she might suspect you of cheating and lose trust in you or not enough where she loses attraction for you?

Quite possibly the easiest fix for this is being able to show her that you have women hitting on you, too.

You don't even need to match her in numbers. One woman hitting on you = ~20 men hitting on her.

Most of the guys hitting on her aren't that smooth or that interesting. And the ones that are she knows stand a good chance of being players. They're almost all "maybes" at best... she isn't sure if she can replace what she has with you with one of them. And her attractiveness to you doesn't increase one iota just because other men are hitting on her.

On the other hand, finding out that women are hitting on you both excites and startles her. She knows that every fairly attractive woman is a "yes" to a single you... if a girl's hitting on you, you could easily take her for a roll in the hay.

20 "maybes for her = 1 "yes" for you.

Maybe every 3 or 4 months if she's confident (or once a year if she's not), mention some girl from work or a convention or the store or a social network who's been chasing after you a bit and how cute it is. If you get approached on the street or at a happy hour, tell her. Make it not a big deal. And make sure you mention that you were just minding your own business, and this girl approached you.

Don't do it too much or she'll start feeling like you're getting hit on so much that she doesn't stand a chance of hanging onto you. Women aren't dumb... they know there's only so many times you can say "no" to an easy "yes." Just make her feel like this is happening occasionally with little effort on your part, and you'll have her attention.

She knows men usually have to work for their lays. If women are offering it to you on a silver platter, she'll take note... because you aren't even WORKING for it and here's what you get. What could you get if you put a little elbow grease in?

Chase

ProblemSolving · May 22, 2013

Chase said:
PS-

Quite possibly the easiest fix for this is being able to show her that you have women hitting on you, too.

You don't even need to match her in numbers. One woman hitting on you = ~20 men hitting on her.

Most of the guys hitting on her aren't that smooth or that interesting. And the ones that are she knows stand a good chance of being players. They're almost all "maybes" at best... she isn't sure if she can replace what she has with you with one of them. And her attractiveness to you doesn't increase one iota just because other men are hitting on her.

On the other hand, finding out that women are hitting on you both excites and startles her. She knows that every fairly attractive woman is a "yes" to a single you... if a girl's hitting on you, you could easily take her for a roll in the hay.

20 "maybes for her = 1 "yes" for you.

Maybe every 3 or 4 months if she's confident (or once a year if she's not), mention some girl from work or a convention or the store or a social network who's been chasing after you a bit and how cute it is. If you get approached on the street or at a happy hour, tell her. Make it not a big deal. And make sure you mention that you were just minding your own business, and this girl approached you.

Don't do it too much or she'll start feeling like you're getting hit on so much that she doesn't stand a chance of hanging onto you. Women aren't dumb... they know there's only so many times you can say "no" to an easy "yes." Just make her feel like this is happening occasionally with little effort on your part, and you'll have her attention.

She knows men usually have to work for their lays. If women are offering it to you on a silver platter, she'll take note... because you aren't even WORKING for it and here's what you get. What could you get if you put a little elbow grease in?

Chase

So funny you should mention this, since I did exactly what you said before reading your reply! It worked like a charm. I told her about a cute Spanish girl at the gym who asked me to spot her while she squats. Almost a month later, and my girl still talks about "that Spanish whore".

I actually think it's a good thing for both partners to share their encounters with the opposite sex, since it keeps both of you on your toes. I like hearing about the guys that hit on my girl: for one, I get to critique their sorry game, and two, it makes me feel good to know that there's a bunch of guys gunning for what I have.

Chase · Jun 12, 2013

ProblemSolving said:
I told her about a cute Spanish girl at the gym who asked me to spot her while she squats. Almost a month later, and my girl still talks about "that Spanish whore".

lmao... women are a riot. She'll talk about guys hitting on her all day long, and you mention one girl asking you for a spot and the girl's a whore.

Women are way more territorial than men are. It's not even close.

Chase

trashKENNUT · Jun 21, 2018

Women are way more, a riot.

"Generally, i don't do the wifes (barbeque sunday)"- DOnald Trump

p.s: HAHA!

Zac

Dylweed · Aug 15, 2018

Man I unintentionally do what chase recommended. I told my girl how this girl at work said I looked strong and young because my veins in my arms. My girl joked and was like "where does she live?" And my girl would ask if it was that girl when I'd tell stories about work. I even told my girlfriend how my male coworker told me he heard these women whispering that I'm attractive in Spanish.

These 2 instances both happened in the last month. I just told them to her cuz i thought they were entertaining and funny stories yet my girl is still turning me down for sex. I can't believe it. I am probably going to cheat on my girl very soon. I feel it's very wrong morally but now I'm starting to feel it's actually what she wants and good for relationship cuz it's failing otherwise with her turning me down when other women are into me, makes no sense.

Fuck This · Aug 15, 2018

I've had this woman staying with me for the last 2 months, and I have heard her refer to other women a couple times...

"I love watching you in your element. The way the married women flirt with you..." to which I replied, "What do you mean by 'flirting?'" to which she kind of back pedaled and said "Well they are very affectionate and hug you and you seem to captivate them when you talk to them."

I made sure to include her in my social circle and have the women befriend her. She is an outgoing woman and likeable, so that wasn't a problem.

That made me think about other times she commented about women looking at me. Like the stewardess (female flight attendant) who gave me a complete up and down stare in an airport. I pretended I hadn't noticed. Yeah I did....

Then there was the party with her high school friends, I came rolling in dressed a level above the rest of the guys. Seriously I was the only guy in the place with a tie. It attracted a lot of curiosity from her friends, and she enjoyed peacocking me there. They all wanted to know who the guy in the suit was and she was proud to say "Yeah, he's with me..."
She pointed out who the rich snobby girls were in her class, so I made a point to talk to them. They had been watching me all night, and were curious. My lady looked awesome, and they looked a little rough. Oh it made her SOOO horny....

Managing Commitment Points

ProblemSolving

Tribal Elder

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man

Chase

Chieftan

ProblemSolving

Tribal Elder

Chase

Chieftan

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man

Dylweed

Space Monkey

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man