Girlfriend wont have sex



Girlfriend wont have sex

Postby Dylweed » Tue Dec 04, 2018 3:07 am

I love my girlfriend. Shes hot and super cute the way she acts, soft cute sweet girl. Shes super smart too, one of the smartest girls I ever met. Shes not into partying and drugs. She has a great relationship with her dad. She really loves spending time with me, always wanting to cuddle and hang out. I feel she really does love me, however often times when I try to initiate sex she resists. To the point it's annoying to even continue trying when I see it going nowhere and its obvious she doesnt want it.

I've tried talking about it before but that never worked either and I dont try that anymore. However multiple times shes told me her sex drive goes away usually for a whole 2 weeks every menstrual cycle. However when we first started dating we'd have sex all the time, shed never turn me down

We live together and we have sex once a week usually. Sometimes twice a week, but sometimes it'll go 10 days. Sometimes I dont even wanna initiate because im assuming I'll just get turned down. I feel really disrespected. Like if I continue to hang out with her and if we havent had sex in a while, I feel I'm losing self respect. Feel like I've been friendzoned. What do I do?
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Re: Girlfriend wont have sex

Postby Eliasmusic » Wed Dec 05, 2018 11:49 pm

Haha gotcha covered brother... I had this myself just over a year ago. Let me tell you the story. I was quite active with improving my game from 2013 up until 2017 when I found myself with an incredible girlfriend and died to the PUA world for a year or so. Naturally, being my first relationship, I was bound to make mistakes, and about 8 months in (honeymoon period beginning to wear off) I found we were having sex about once a week like you said. Exact same situation, resisting advances, saying she was too tired etc. So I suspected that I was being a pussy-ass bitch, and that she wasn't turned on (because who wants to take the cock of a pussy-ass-bitch) and in retrospect Jesus-fuck was I right. I'd basically lost all my game due to not having to try with chicks, and girls in relationships still want to be flirted with and fucked by a top-notch guy.

Here's what I suggest you do- sort your shit out, and make sure that bitches be lusting... This could involve going to the gym and getting huge, sorting out some serious life goals and chasing them, meditating your ass off, get involved within volunteering activist stuff (great way to build friendship circles while also doing some good in the world.) In terms of actual action relating to your gf, it's a hard one, but honestly what I said above is the most-likely scenario... Sort your shit out and she'll be right back to jumping your bones.

p.s. don't hate her for it or get angry... Like it's annoying, but as Chase says often, and in one of his articles specifically, the man is usually the leader of the relationship, and any problems within it, he should take responsibility for. You can't go around like so many aspiring manosphere PUA's talking shit about male rights and dominance if you're not willing to accept the responsibility that comes with the privileges of manhood.

Lemme know,
Elias
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Re: Girlfriend wont have sex

Postby Dylweed » Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:25 am

Eliasmusic wrote:Haha gotcha covered brother... I had this myself just over a year ago. Let me tell you the story. I was quite active with improving my game from 2013 up until 2017 when I found myself with an incredible girlfriend and died to the PUA world for a year or so. Naturally, being my first relationship, I was bound to make mistakes, and about 8 months in (honeymoon period beginning to wear off) I found we were having sex about once a week like you said. Exact same situation, resisting advances, saying she was too tired etc. So I suspected that I was being a pussy-ass bitch, and that she wasn't turned on (because who wants to take the cock of a pussy-ass-bitch) and in retrospect Jesus-fuck was I right. I'd basically lost all my game due to not having to try with chicks, and girls in relationships still want to be flirted with and fucked by a top-notch guy.

Here's what I suggest you do- sort your shit out, and make sure that bitches be lusting... This could involve going to the gym and getting huge, sorting out some serious life goals and chasing them, meditating your ass off, get involved within volunteering activist stuff (great way to build friendship circles while also doing some good in the world.) In terms of actual action relating to your gf, it's a hard one, but honestly what I said above is the most-likely scenario... Sort your shit out and she'll be right back to jumping your bones.

p.s. don't hate her for it or get angry... Like it's annoying, but as Chase says often, and in one of his articles specifically, the man is usually the leader of the relationship, and any problems within it, he should take responsibility for. You can't go around like so many aspiring manosphere PUA's talking shit about male rights and dominance if you're not willing to accept the responsibility that comes with the privileges of manhood.

Lemme know,
Elias

Duude! Thank you for the reply, but omg man this just makes me more upset. So did you figure things out with that one girl? Get her to start banging more?

Honestly not gonna lie my game is as good as ever. I've done some day game just for fun a few times recently and some night game as well. Could've cheated on her so easily. I think having a gf makes me even less needy to other girls cuz it really doesn't matter. Girls at work (I bartend), girls at the gym, when I get my hair cut, girls working at restaurants, dude I feel they're into me everywhere. This girl from the gym been trying to bang me. I get hit on a lot. That's why it's so confusing. All these girls wanna bang yet my girlfriend doesn't. Ughh. I'd rather just bang her. But yet she won't.

You said not to be upset and you're right but that's just hard as fuck. I'm guessing the only thing I could think of that I'm doing wrong with the relationship is that sometimes I just feel insecure around people I know well. Its subtle but it makes a difference. Sometimes I'll just feel more uncomfortable with a certain person. This could last a week. Can even happen with Male friends and family members. But I'm pulling straws here. Most people really like me and tell me I'm very outgoing and positive.

It makes no sense. But like you said I must be at fault. Cuz its the man's responsibility to keep things going well and I guess I'm just not really ready for that responsiblity. It sucks realizing i cant just be myself and have my girlfriend be into me. I dont want to have to change and I don't even know what I'd change anyways.

When I was single and had fuck buddies they would always be down to bang even if my mood was a little off. Never got turned down for sex ever till I got a commited relationship and this has happened with both girlfriends I have had. Makes me bitter as hell honestly and makes me wanna cheat on my girl cuz itd be so easy and like what the fuck is she expecting?
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Re: Girlfriend wont have sex

Postby Eliasmusic » Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:38 am

Okey dude, yea sounds like it wasn't quite as simple as I thought haha... Yea things ended up going pretty well with my girl, (meaning I sorted my shit out, but in the end had to break up on good terms as I have not yet learnt how to be full alpha while in a relo.)

So honestly, I wish someone with a little more knowledge would weigh in here... Chase? haha but I would do these two things, hopefully the first one works and you don't have to rely on the second.

1- supplement yourself with specific supplements/drugs which will change your 'vibe' so to speak, and see if things change with her.
1.1- Phenibut- It's an anti-anxiety drug, legal in most countries as a bodybuilding and study supplement. Basically makes you charming and chill as fuuuuuk. Try it out, and see if she is responding the same way to you.
1.2- Horny Goat Weed, Tribulus Terrestris, Ashwaghanda... 3 herbs sold as bodybuilding testosterone supplements. You can definitely get them combined in one pill from the chemist. It will be in the 'libido' section hahahaha. Basically it makes you full animal, and fuck like a king.

If neither of the above works, have a good chat with her, do some research of your own, make sure her form of contraception is not MAJORLY fucking with her hormones, check her diet. I would suggest if she's on the pill that she considers the spiral? Faaaaar healthier. It's hard to help people if they don't wanna help themselves, but hopefully she's open to sorting shit out.

Also, can we get some help from some other guys here would be amazing.
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Re: Girlfriend wont have sex

Postby Dylweed » Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:51 am

Eliasmusic wrote:Okey dude, yea sounds like it wasn't quite as simple as I thought haha... Yea things ended up going pretty well with my girl, (meaning I sorted my shit out, but in the end had to break up on good terms as I have not yet learnt how to be full alpha while in a relo.)

So honestly, I wish someone with a little more knowledge would weigh in here... Chase? haha but I would do these two things, hopefully the first one works and you don't have to rely on the second.

1- supplement yourself with specific supplements/drugs which will change your 'vibe' so to speak, and see if things change with her.
1.1- Phenibut- It's an anti-anxiety drug, legal in most countries as a bodybuilding and study supplement. Basically makes you charming and chill as fuuuuuk. Try it out, and see if she is responding the same way to you.
1.2- Horny Goat Weed, Tribulus Terrestris, Ashwaghanda... 3 herbs sold as bodybuilding testosterone supplements. You can definitely get them combined in one pill from the chemist. It will be in the 'libido' section hahahaha. Basically it makes you full animal, and fuck like a king.

If neither of the above works, have a good chat with her, do some research of your own, make sure her form of contraception is not MAJORLY fucking with her hormones, check her diet. I would suggest if she's on the pill that she considers the spiral? Faaaaar healthier. It's hard to help people if they don't wanna help themselves, but hopefully she's open to sorting shit out.

Also, can we get some help from some other guys here would be amazing.

Yeah thank you, good idea. I'll try those things to change my vibe and see if that's it. I'm actually thinking I must just be very insecure in relationships and that must be causing it. Idk but after her turning me down a few nights ago right before I made this thread, well ever since then I've been pissed at her which I realize will make sex even more unlikely. Just things are shit right now. And it just seems weird that both girlfriends I've ever had have both turned me down for sex but no one else. Like I must be doing something wrong. However my girlfriend is on wellbutrin and my other gf was on an antidepressant SSRI and an anti psychotic lmao guess I cant pick the right girls lmao but maybe those medications? My gf now doesn't take birth control
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Re: Girlfriend wont have sex

Postby Eliasmusic » Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:20 am

Haha okey maybe there's your problem in the last sentence... If you're fucking her with a condom, then naturally she's not going to be as keen. Also I reckon the medication you mentioned, and the underlying circumstances that cause her to require medication may well we related. Often not as simple as it seems hey. Best of luck brother, keen to see how it goes.
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Re: Girlfriend wont have sex

Postby Alcman » Thu Dec 06, 2018 9:14 am

It's obvious from what you write that you should break with that girl immediately. This is the gospel of girls chase: learning to build sturdy ships from scratch in a dry wharf is infinitely easier and healthier than trying desperately to mend leaking ones at open sea.

Best of luck through the dire straits of love,
A.
'Eros once more, Cypris (Aphrodite) being to blame,
sweetly flowing down warms my heart' - Alcman (Spartan poet, 7th century BC, my translation)
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Re: Girlfriend wont have sex

Postby Eliasmusic » Fri Dec 07, 2018 12:01 am

That's one view on the matter Alcman, but not necessarily gospel. Girls Chase is incredible (changed my life a great deal) but it is only one read of a situation, only one framework through which to view the world, and occasionally it can be nice to use others. What you said in general is pretty true about the boats, but if this is the second relationship (as opposed to first) then certainly/possibly worth trying to patch up.
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Re: Girlfriend wont have sex

Postby ray_zorse » Fri Dec 07, 2018 10:39 am

My feeling on the matter is that although she may not be consciously aware of what she is doing, this is about control -- she is rationing you. It comes from a place of testing whether you are the dominating bastard that you originally presented yourself as, or if you are willing to stand aside and let someone else call the shots. Women are constantly doing this in every area of the relationship. Turns you down once: attraction drops a bit. She tries it again a week later and succeeds again: attraction drops some more. But she will give you chances. After all you may have been sick, overworked, not that horny those times... and she WANTS you to overcome her objections and give you the dicking she needs, wants and deserves (frigidity does not seem to be the issue here as you noticed a drop off after committing to her). However when a pattern is established her attraction drops off a lot. In this particular case it may well be too late to fix it.

The way you do it is, you don't initiate anything unless you are determined to see it through. I realize that may sound a bit rapey so use caution, you have to go about it the right way -- with calibration, with humour, but most of all with dogged persistence. It may become a battle of wills, but rest assured she will give in after say 6 hours, if only because she is tired of the battle... force is not used and neither is reasoned argument or neediness. Humour and teasing and the confident assertion that you know she wants it. You are the man, you decide when sex is going to happen. And you escalate things in a charming and authoritative manner until it happens. You can look up articles on this site about correct forms of persistence.

If it helps you could go for a bit of bondage play, tell her that if she does not submit to your desires you will be forced to give her a punishment. This can take the form of tying her up and putting ice cubes on her nipples or some such. However, for bondage play to work she needs to have a safe word. And it would be a good idea to introduce this at a time she is being more cooperative. It is a disaster for your authority if she uses the safe word. (It has happened to me once, luckily not in a live in relationship, I stopped and did a takeaway: got in my car and drove off, I managed to recover from the disaster and resume the session the following week leading to sex).

cheers, Ray

PS The advice in this post is doubly important if what you are seeking is unusual forms of sex, for the particular thing I did recently with my girlfriend (effectively, my wife) I had hesitated for a few years as I knew that if I brought it up I would have to be committed to persist until it happened. It took me several sessions, but I got there.

PPS Following this strategy successfully over time will condition her to understand that you are the decision maker in regards to sex, resistance will basically cease and she will comply with your wishes every time. If possible, be building compliance from the very first date onwards, see articles on the main site about this matter.
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