Why Guys Drop Out of the Game Right Before Breaking Through

Chase,

This is slightly off topic, but you mention taking GFs without promising exclusivity. I'm guessing this is in reference to more than a FWB. More like an open relationship? How would you go about starting one of these?

Bboy100 said:

Chase,

This is slightly off topic, but you mention taking GFs without promising exclusivity. I'm guessing this is in reference to more than a FWB. More like an open relationship? How would you go about starting one of these?

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Podcast on this:
https://soundcloud.com/girlschase/6-bla ... ationships

Thanks Grand Pooba! That was a very informative episode

Hey, this is definitely me. I feel like I was about to breakthrough in Feb. Things were really picking up for me like never before. I was also getting curious about relationships at the time as I'd never had one. So that's what I did, got a really amazing girlfriend who I have had so much fun with and learnt so much from, about girls and myself. However around 7 months in I began to crave the single life again. The variety, the thrill of the chase and unfortunately a month later we broke up.

What's worse is that instead of carrying all the lessons I've learnt and skills I had forward, I lost it all! I'm the second guy in that description, the poor guy whose got to make the climb again. So my question is that has anyone ever done it before? How is it different from progressing for the first time? And could anyone hand some advice on time frames for how long it would take or what mindset or should go in with this new venture? I'm committed to this now but I've got to say it's so demoralising slipping back to square one, all that precious hard work feels wasted and that's the worst part. Also will the climb be exactly the same as it was to get there in the first place?

Thanks Rookie

Rookie said:

I'm the second guy in that description, the poor guy whose got to make the climb again. So my question is that has anyone ever done it before? How is it different from progressing for the first time? And could anyone hand some advice on time frames for how long it would take or what mindset or should go in with this new venture? I'm committed to this now but I've got to say it's so demoralising slipping back to square one, all that precious hard work feels wasted and that's the worst part. Also will the climb be exactly the same as it was to get there in the first place?

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Took me about 3 months. It might take you around the same. I find if a guy commits himself hard for a couple months, his rate of returns increase dramatically.

The secret is to admit when you're bad at something that you used to be good at. You will have to learn it all over again, even though you want to focus on new things. So start from the basics and work you're way up again.

Nick

Bump!

Refresher for any of my guys about to drop out. These days, guys drop out wordlessly tho. Lol.

Funny! I'm reding this as I just experienced a Few Breakthroughs

IMO it also depends on what the particular guy is looking for. Some guys may want to settle down, they learn some stuff, then find good girl and go to LTR...

From certain point of view, it is much easier to tie down say 8 into LTR versus constantly trying to game new women...

I was guilty of this myself.

The first girl I ever kissed in high school tried to rope me into a relationship right away. She was crazy about me, and the situtation was exactly like the $130 guy thinking he is getting a deal for $90 since he is used to being $60. I didn't fully commit to her, but set her expectations too high, and it also cost me about three months of not focusing on learning game.

I got into a groove over the summer (while still dating the first girl) and managed to sleep with a girl I was enamored with. I thought she was so out of my league. I then made dating her exclusively a priority, and cut off all my other girls, and stopped meeting new women. Big mistake. Though we dated for awhile, she lost some respect for me and I missed so many opportunities.

It's going to be a long time before I get into an exclusive relationship.

I feel a great void leave me.

Onward and Upward,

A

Well, this is the first time I've posted on these boards for a couple of years, for exactly this reason!
And funnily enough I was kind of resistant to let myself get 'sucked into' the relationship as I could feel I was making decent progress, starting to get laid more with girls I liked. Had been seeing this girl for quite a while, she was pretty chilled out, the sex was decent etc etc.
And yeah the bargain hunter mentality must have kicked in hard, she started stumping up for plane tickets, we were travelling together having a decent time etc
To be fair I figured it wasn't a bad time to take some time out from working on my attraction and ONS game to practise developing some intimacy and dip my toes into the LTR thing - after all, after striking out badly for years there weren't really any LTRs on the cards.
I too feel like I've lost some momentum for approach and so forth but I have learned a few valuable things about myself, how I behave in and what I want from relationships, so it's all good.
I think the real problem is that she was expecting WAY too much from me; once we went official she got far too possessive but also started to depend on me for EVERYTHING, wanting to spend all her time with me, ghosting on all her friends, giving up her hobbies etc etc but then expecting me to do the same, which of course I was very much not prepared to do.
I think the worst thing is I finally ended up going on the trip Down Under I'd been planning for the last decade and with hindsight should really have ended it before I left but somehow she ended up convincing me that she wanted to come with me and as a result I had to experience all the travel and partying from the standpoint of being 'taken' and not really being able to take advantage of the various opportunities presented that I would have jumped on if I was single. But at the same time I noticed the old preselection thing happening, and that I got approached more by women who saw me with her and tried to flirt with me anyway.

Richard said:

It's all a part of the 5 stages of life, Chase.

At this point, guys have gotten past their fears and limiting beliefs and feel that these were the only two things holding them back so everything would be smooth sailing having conquered them, right? Wrong. When a guy settles before making a break through what's holding him back are his comfort zones.

As you said, women naturally pick up on this much more easily than men and are able to take advantage of it.

I think the easiest way to get past this is to simply be conscious of it; from my frequent talks with my mentor I've become aware of a lot of things and if you're already aware of where you're at stage-wise on the journey towards your goal then it's also easy to figure out what is holding you back in that stage.

-Richard

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I also think that when a guy settles before making a break-through is him not having a true and clear understanding of how high the ceiling even is. I know that used to hold me back from a lot of things I experimented with.

I believe this ties to peoples' self-management.

Do you inspire yourself?
Do you even know what you're yearning for?
Do you have any idea what a good life is?
Do you motivate yourself and continuously improve yourself, but improve your method of improving?
Etc.

Doc Manhattan