Hey guys,
For the last 2-3 weeks I have been going on dates with ~2 new girls per week. However, I have not been getting anywhere with them! I meet them online (Hinge) or during day game (which I recently just restarted doing). I don't really do any sexual framing before the dates except for some occasional chase framing. I take them to a wine bar and have not been focusing on moving girls until tonight.
Also, over the past 2-3 weeks I have been focusing heavily on "intermediate/advanced" techniques of game. I realized that I hadn't thought about my fundamentals or Law of Least Effort for some time now. Therefore, before 2 dates (back to back) that I scheduled for tonight, I read up on these topics.
My first date was with a cute brunette whom I met during cold approach at a grocery store.
Grocery store girl, date #1
Before our date, we were texting. She screened me a bit. I was in my head about appearing low effort, so I didn't screen her. I then switched to being in my head about deep diving and did a deep dive over text. She responded well and asked me to get a drink.
She actually asked me out on a day when I already had a date. Therefore, in order to appear higher value I told her that I already had a date today, but we could schedule around that. I realized this was a risky move but she helped schedule our date around it.
I arrived at the wine bar ~5 min late and she came ~5 min after. We were on adjacent stools at the bar and I realized I was turned fully towards her and she was facing forward. I was very focused on our body language.
We started with small talk and I was stuck in my head about appearing to put in low effort as well as deep diving her. Therefore, our conversation was really just me looking half asleep while asking her a ton of questions.
Eventually, I naturally got distracted from my thoughts and we started having a good conversation. This was probably 30 minutes in and I hadn't done anything with kino or setting a sexual frame.
However, every time I noticed myself getting excited and investing more in the conversation I would stop myself. For the past 2-3 weeks I have not really allowed myself to show excitement/lean forward/completely open my body up to a girl.
By the end of the date, the girl had shared a lot about herself and she was having a good time, but I think she was in auto rejection because I hadn't flirted with her or shown much interest.
At the end we hugged and she said "have fun on your next date". I think she was a little offended by my limited interest during the date and the fact that I had another one lined up after.
I then took a train across town to the second date with an online girl.
Online girl, date #2
For this date I told myself to just have a conversation, allow myself to express any emotions that I was feeling, and trust that my game techniques would be there. As a result, I was more relaxed and was not in my head at all.
We were sitting across from each other, but I was touching her arm at high points every few minutes. She was getting more and more comfortable with me. I was also doing some chase framing and she was laughing at it--good sign.
We finish out drinks in about 30 minutes and I move her to another bar. My logistics suck so I deliberately move her closer to her apartment.
At the second bar we take a couple of shots and I sense there is a lot of sexual tension. Instead of going for the kiss, which I wouldve done a month ago, I go for the pull:
I persisted several times and then suggested we get some food instead. We go to the restaurant with her arm interlocked in mine and order food. We have good kino and are flirting and she pays for the food.
She then walks me to my train stop and we kiss goodby. Not bad.
My personal goal is to invite each girl home at the end of each date. I was far from this for the first date, but reached it for the second. I believe that if I continue getting to this point, some of my dates will end in lays.
However, I am concerned with the trend in my progress. At first I was getting one lay/week, but eventually got caught up in work and FB's and now haven't gotten a new lay in 2-3 weeks.
I am also getting really caught up in my head during dates and while texting. I think that before tonight I was coming across as needy, and focusing on Law of Least Effort was a step in the right direction. However, it will not benefit me to be distracted at all during my dates.
I am really not sure what to do at this point in my journey, but I figure that being systematic about analyzing my FR's was a step in the right direction. Hopefully I can stay out of my head during dates if I know that I will be able to analyze everything after the date.
At the beginning of my journey, it seemed like girls were chasing me. At this point, I am expending a lot of energy and it still seems like I am chasing the girls.
I would appreciate any words or wisdom, sagely advice, or just a slap in the face.
Thanks guys,
BigS
For the last 2-3 weeks I have been going on dates with ~2 new girls per week. However, I have not been getting anywhere with them! I meet them online (Hinge) or during day game (which I recently just restarted doing). I don't really do any sexual framing before the dates except for some occasional chase framing. I take them to a wine bar and have not been focusing on moving girls until tonight.
Also, over the past 2-3 weeks I have been focusing heavily on "intermediate/advanced" techniques of game. I realized that I hadn't thought about my fundamentals or Law of Least Effort for some time now. Therefore, before 2 dates (back to back) that I scheduled for tonight, I read up on these topics.
My first date was with a cute brunette whom I met during cold approach at a grocery store.
Grocery store girl, date #1
Before our date, we were texting. She screened me a bit. I was in my head about appearing low effort, so I didn't screen her. I then switched to being in my head about deep diving and did a deep dive over text. She responded well and asked me to get a drink.
She actually asked me out on a day when I already had a date. Therefore, in order to appear higher value I told her that I already had a date today, but we could schedule around that. I realized this was a risky move but she helped schedule our date around it.
I arrived at the wine bar ~5 min late and she came ~5 min after. We were on adjacent stools at the bar and I realized I was turned fully towards her and she was facing forward. I was very focused on our body language.
We started with small talk and I was stuck in my head about appearing to put in low effort as well as deep diving her. Therefore, our conversation was really just me looking half asleep while asking her a ton of questions.
Eventually, I naturally got distracted from my thoughts and we started having a good conversation. This was probably 30 minutes in and I hadn't done anything with kino or setting a sexual frame.
However, every time I noticed myself getting excited and investing more in the conversation I would stop myself. For the past 2-3 weeks I have not really allowed myself to show excitement/lean forward/completely open my body up to a girl.
By the end of the date, the girl had shared a lot about herself and she was having a good time, but I think she was in auto rejection because I hadn't flirted with her or shown much interest.
At the end we hugged and she said "have fun on your next date". I think she was a little offended by my limited interest during the date and the fact that I had another one lined up after.
I then took a train across town to the second date with an online girl.
Online girl, date #2
For this date I told myself to just have a conversation, allow myself to express any emotions that I was feeling, and trust that my game techniques would be there. As a result, I was more relaxed and was not in my head at all.
We were sitting across from each other, but I was touching her arm at high points every few minutes. She was getting more and more comfortable with me. I was also doing some chase framing and she was laughing at it--good sign.
We finish out drinks in about 30 minutes and I move her to another bar. My logistics suck so I deliberately move her closer to her apartment.
At the second bar we take a couple of shots and I sense there is a lot of sexual tension. Instead of going for the kiss, which I wouldve done a month ago, I go for the pull:
Me: you like this bar right?
Her: yeah
Me: You like hanging out with me right?
Her: yeah
Me: and you dont want this date to end?
Her: where is this line of questions going?
Me: do you want to get out of here and get a drink at yours for 10 minutes?
Her: I dont think you want to meet my roommate, she's super embarrassing.
Me: no it'll be fun! Ill like her
Her: no you really dont want to meet her
Me: okay I have a record player at my place--do you want to see it? you like jazz, right?
Her: yeah, but I can't come tonight.
I persisted several times and then suggested we get some food instead. We go to the restaurant with her arm interlocked in mine and order food. We have good kino and are flirting and she pays for the food.
She then walks me to my train stop and we kiss goodby. Not bad.
Conclusions
My personal goal is to invite each girl home at the end of each date. I was far from this for the first date, but reached it for the second. I believe that if I continue getting to this point, some of my dates will end in lays.
However, I am concerned with the trend in my progress. At first I was getting one lay/week, but eventually got caught up in work and FB's and now haven't gotten a new lay in 2-3 weeks.
I am also getting really caught up in my head during dates and while texting. I think that before tonight I was coming across as needy, and focusing on Law of Least Effort was a step in the right direction. However, it will not benefit me to be distracted at all during my dates.
I am really not sure what to do at this point in my journey, but I figure that being systematic about analyzing my FR's was a step in the right direction. Hopefully I can stay out of my head during dates if I know that I will be able to analyze everything after the date.
At the beginning of my journey, it seemed like girls were chasing me. At this point, I am expending a lot of energy and it still seems like I am chasing the girls.
I would appreciate any words or wisdom, sagely advice, or just a slap in the face.
Thanks guys,
BigS