- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Hey guys,
Went on another date tonight. Met this girl through cold approach and planned the date for Starbucks at 7.
I showed up slightly early (to prepare, bought condoms in case, cleaned my car for a car escalation, etc). Actually went into starbucks a bit after the promised meet time (to show less boyfriend value). She was waiting inside.
We got our drinks and I began my new process - with deep diving questions to get her to talk about herself. I asked if she liked traveling or wanted to (had a great discussion on this), what her major is (what she wants to do with her career, if she wants to do it forever), what she does in her free time, etc. Basically followed Chase's 8 things you must ask her (without asking "what do you think of me so far?" to not seem needy). I made sure to have good eye contact and smile and to touch her shoulder or arm when we connected on points. We had a great vibe going. She brought up that she was christian, which was cool with me (as so am I). And we talked a bit about that.
She showed she was slightly deviant (like reading harry potter, although her parents forbid it because its "witchcraft"), but nothing too crazy. I tried to capitalize on this a bit to show her it was ok to be a "rebel" in fun way. The first small red flag.
As the vibe was going great, after about 40 min or so of talking and connecting, I was finishing my coffee and asked if she was an animal lover. She said not really (second red flag, but she was a big plant lover, so I rolled with it) so I suggested we instead of the nearby pet store, go to the christmas section of the nearby Lowe's (she loves christmas). She said she'd probably leave soon, as she had plans to do a game night with her christian group. I asked her when the game night was. She said 6 (remember, we met at 7), so I thanked her for meeting me despite that. I then persisted that we go walk again and she agreed.
As we went out of the store, I complimented her clothing and said how as I guy, I was jealous of girls clothing - they have many more options. She smiled a bit (she's a Russian girl, more stoic) and I used it to bring up more general differences between guys and girls (to turn the conversation sexual, something I haven't explicitly tried before).
I said how in today's society, a guy can sleep around and its whatever, but if a girl does it, shes labeled a slut and how I found that labeling to be wrong - people should embrace their sexuality and be honest with themselves. It shows a person to be genuine when they know what they want and they can act on it in the same way around different groups of people. She said people shouldn't sleep around - that they should have morals. I agreed that people shouldn't sleep around if they're in a relationship - that shows distrust and is not right to do.
Anyways, we went back and forth a bit, checking out the christmas section. She made sure to point out the Christian symbols and manger scenes. She talked about Jesus and how the bible is the absolute authority - nothing should be done outside of marriage. After a while of talking and browsing (and her checking out the plants), I told her to follow me back to my car - I'd show her pics of my dogs and my first gingerbread house (she makes one every year as a holiday tradition).
On the way to my car, we got into more of a debate. I came from the frame that sex brings intimacey and deep relationship with another person, its vital. Sex should also be safe, I don't kiss and tell (I brought up this through a story), and its a private thing between people. Relationships should be set with rules from the start. She came from the frame that its sinful, against god, people shouldn't sleep around or have sex before marriage. She had no sexual fantasies (which I told her everyone does, even if a tiny bit. She shook her head and said no).
Basically, she was brought up with this super religious world view - and even questioned if I really was religious (which I said I am not in terms of being ritualistic, but I do believe in relationship with god and was baptized, etc.). I wasn't about to change her view any time soon - condoms not used today :{
So as we werre having this talk, we eventually got to my car and I showed her the pics. She refused to sit in my car, even standing in the cold wind and snow looking at my phone from outside. I told her I'd turn the heat on, she didn't need to stand out in the wind - she refused more. So, seeing I was getting nowhere, walked her back to her car. She refused to give me a hug or even touch me. I told her that was mean, she wasn't going to die hugging me. She said she would. She was hearitant about another date (I knew this) and seeing "my real personality", didn't think we should really get together again - though she'd be willing to invite me if it was a group setting, which I quickly declined.
No kiss. No hug. No sex. No happy ending - outside the fact that it would probably have never happened with her strong religious views. I, being christian, realized just how mean and unwelcoming and unloving she was being towards me because of my views. Made me really think about how people like her really play the stereotype.
But anyways (not looking for a religious debate here, just telling it as it happened), that's how it went. We went our separate ways and I won't be seeing her again.
I have a new process, which I am super thrilled to get results with. Just turns out the first girl I tried it on wasn't the right girl (not open sexually in the slightest). Its a headache (especially since my semester ended, abundance of girls down).
What are your guy's thoughts? I am disappointed things didn't go better. Thanks for any tips!
Until the next one,
- NewBeeWinner
Went on another date tonight. Met this girl through cold approach and planned the date for Starbucks at 7.
I showed up slightly early (to prepare, bought condoms in case, cleaned my car for a car escalation, etc). Actually went into starbucks a bit after the promised meet time (to show less boyfriend value). She was waiting inside.
We got our drinks and I began my new process - with deep diving questions to get her to talk about herself. I asked if she liked traveling or wanted to (had a great discussion on this), what her major is (what she wants to do with her career, if she wants to do it forever), what she does in her free time, etc. Basically followed Chase's 8 things you must ask her (without asking "what do you think of me so far?" to not seem needy). I made sure to have good eye contact and smile and to touch her shoulder or arm when we connected on points. We had a great vibe going. She brought up that she was christian, which was cool with me (as so am I). And we talked a bit about that.
She showed she was slightly deviant (like reading harry potter, although her parents forbid it because its "witchcraft"), but nothing too crazy. I tried to capitalize on this a bit to show her it was ok to be a "rebel" in fun way. The first small red flag.
As the vibe was going great, after about 40 min or so of talking and connecting, I was finishing my coffee and asked if she was an animal lover. She said not really (second red flag, but she was a big plant lover, so I rolled with it) so I suggested we instead of the nearby pet store, go to the christmas section of the nearby Lowe's (she loves christmas). She said she'd probably leave soon, as she had plans to do a game night with her christian group. I asked her when the game night was. She said 6 (remember, we met at 7), so I thanked her for meeting me despite that. I then persisted that we go walk again and she agreed.
As we went out of the store, I complimented her clothing and said how as I guy, I was jealous of girls clothing - they have many more options. She smiled a bit (she's a Russian girl, more stoic) and I used it to bring up more general differences between guys and girls (to turn the conversation sexual, something I haven't explicitly tried before).
I said how in today's society, a guy can sleep around and its whatever, but if a girl does it, shes labeled a slut and how I found that labeling to be wrong - people should embrace their sexuality and be honest with themselves. It shows a person to be genuine when they know what they want and they can act on it in the same way around different groups of people. She said people shouldn't sleep around - that they should have morals. I agreed that people shouldn't sleep around if they're in a relationship - that shows distrust and is not right to do.
Anyways, we went back and forth a bit, checking out the christmas section. She made sure to point out the Christian symbols and manger scenes. She talked about Jesus and how the bible is the absolute authority - nothing should be done outside of marriage. After a while of talking and browsing (and her checking out the plants), I told her to follow me back to my car - I'd show her pics of my dogs and my first gingerbread house (she makes one every year as a holiday tradition).
On the way to my car, we got into more of a debate. I came from the frame that sex brings intimacey and deep relationship with another person, its vital. Sex should also be safe, I don't kiss and tell (I brought up this through a story), and its a private thing between people. Relationships should be set with rules from the start. She came from the frame that its sinful, against god, people shouldn't sleep around or have sex before marriage. She had no sexual fantasies (which I told her everyone does, even if a tiny bit. She shook her head and said no).
Basically, she was brought up with this super religious world view - and even questioned if I really was religious (which I said I am not in terms of being ritualistic, but I do believe in relationship with god and was baptized, etc.). I wasn't about to change her view any time soon - condoms not used today :{
So as we werre having this talk, we eventually got to my car and I showed her the pics. She refused to sit in my car, even standing in the cold wind and snow looking at my phone from outside. I told her I'd turn the heat on, she didn't need to stand out in the wind - she refused more. So, seeing I was getting nowhere, walked her back to her car. She refused to give me a hug or even touch me. I told her that was mean, she wasn't going to die hugging me. She said she would. She was hearitant about another date (I knew this) and seeing "my real personality", didn't think we should really get together again - though she'd be willing to invite me if it was a group setting, which I quickly declined.
No kiss. No hug. No sex. No happy ending - outside the fact that it would probably have never happened with her strong religious views. I, being christian, realized just how mean and unwelcoming and unloving she was being towards me because of my views. Made me really think about how people like her really play the stereotype.
But anyways (not looking for a religious debate here, just telling it as it happened), that's how it went. We went our separate ways and I won't be seeing her again.
I have a new process, which I am super thrilled to get results with. Just turns out the first girl I tried it on wasn't the right girl (not open sexually in the slightest). Its a headache (especially since my semester ended, abundance of girls down).
What are your guy's thoughts? I am disappointed things didn't go better. Thanks for any tips!
Until the next one,
- NewBeeWinner