- Joined
- Sep 9, 2013
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So I enter the flight and catch an air hostess looking at me for a second or so. It’s a quick glance but I sense she may be interested a bit. Looks young, pretty face, exactly the type of face I like the most.
My seat is near the emergency exit and this flight didn’t have an overhead luggage compartment above the emergency exit (I found out later that it’s not a common thing to not have a compartment after asking the particular air hostess I’m talking about here, it was my second time ever flying on a plane).
From the beginning now. I can’t find an empty space. Tell her ‘Excuse Me.’ She is busy with another customer, so acknowledges me and says or implies that she’ll engage me after talking to the customer. I get it, it’s her job. Anyway, this is the start. I look other ways. Then she engages me. I explain I have no compartment to put luggage on. She looks at a few places, and asks me to put it somewhere. Now I realize she didn’t really work hard to find a compartment, probably cause lots of people to handle or whatever. I’m seated and since I’m next to the exit, she comes for assistance. I address her by name and she explains to me the emergency exit procedure. Anyway, she is nice to me, nicer than just doing her job. Maybe it was just my mind at this point, OR MAYBE NOT.
When demonstrating flight safety procedures to everyone, I hold eye contact with her and break it at other times. I see her looking at me 4 or more times, she notices I’m looking at her eyes. Entirely unnecessary on her part to look at me multiple times, if I meant just another guest to her. This part made her interest clear.
Now my advantage was that I was near the exit, so she had to talk to me. Also, her seat was near me to the right, facing me. Proximity is, if I lean my whole body in front, we can be our faces touching.
The flight takes off and she is sitting right next to me, facing me. We engage, I ask her mostly questions related to being a stewardess.
Ask her why she chose what she chose. She just gave me vague answer like she had no reason. I pressed, but still no (later she got into more detail, this was good, her walls were breaking). Other than that, I was asking the questions. She was just answering, but talking ratio was probably 70:30, her talking 70 percent of the time. Also, I noticed a shift of tone in her to a ‘matter-of-fact’ voice when answering another female passenger’s question about something.
Eye contact is strong. Saw her pressing lip once. I’m pretty certain she was interested, but I couldn’t pull the whole thing off. Well, inexperience I guess.
Also I hear flight attendants are pretty tough cases. The fact that she gave me the amount of attention she did, the fact that she was a 10 in facial looks, 7 o 8 in body, and 7 in success in my book, I’m flattered. I don’t even look my best yet. I’m really flattered. Means I actually get interest from genuinely attractive girls, it’s not just in my head.
I ask her if being an Indian flight attendant is really as hard as I hear. She says ‘You yourself saw.’ Lol. I reply ‘No, I didn’t, the flight has just started.’
Now I ask her which was her worst experience as a stewardess. She talks about old men who find excuses to touch her, and about passengers who ask her ‘What is this?’ even when she gives them water. I say ‘It’s all those Bollywood movies (Indian cinema) that show men get women by stalking them.’ She says it’s also education. Let’s say we go back and forth, some more detailed discussion, and then agree to disagree after a minute.
I also slip in a compliment in a sentence, first asking ‘Your training is pretty rigorous to be an air hostess, right?’, to which she obviously agrees, and then say ‘You can’t judge everyone to be on your standard, most people are not that smart.’
At some point, I cold read as ‘Are you an only child?’ She says she has a sister.
Perhaps I sensed she was NOT an only child, but don’t know why I went for the only child question instead of asking ‘Do you have siblings?’.
These little things must have added to the big disaster later.
She asks me about where I stay, I ask her where she stays etc. Through our 15 mins or so total talk, spanning two sitting sessions on her part during seat belt sessions, I find out her home location, how long she has been working, what she did in free time during her later childhood, how she ignored some jobs because of particular reasons and became an air hostess later etc.
She asks if I flied the first time on some part, probably because of my questions.
I said yesterday was first, today is second. I don’t know if that lost me points, cause I’m 25. But I hope not, cause my goal is to get girls when they have zero idea about my economic status and other superficial things. Top notch guys for example, never even mention those details most of the time I find on youtube videos. I just wholly want to cut the external success part and still be able to get top notch girls. We’ll see how that works out!
She says ‘Are you philosophy student?’
Was a weird thing to say, so I asked ‘Why?’
She says my questions appear like that. I say ‘But is that helping me get to know you better than most other people who know you?’ She kind of agrees. Then I explain more, which was probably a very costly mistake as I now realize, that my goal is to not know facts but I’m interested in the human experience and why they do what they do etc.
I went on a little tangent here, must have looked to her as trying to impress her or investing too much, which was definitely the case.
She also mentions some friend she had who as a lot like me. I don’t know what to make of it. So I thought of it as an opportunity assuming her experience may have been positive. I say ‘Did you love, hate, were neutral toward him? I stress love and my vibe was flirty. She was like why are you saying this, while smiling. Polite smile, rather than blushing. Now, she picked this one later to politely reject me by saying ‘you’re turning out just like my friend’, to which i replied ‘I don’t know your friend, we never talked much about him.’ If she had a bad experience with the guy, means I was fucked from the beginning as she was likely to associate me with him. In any case, I don’t really know and will never find out.
Now, take off is over. She goes to take care of other passengers. Now, I’m not looking her at all the whole time. She sits again during landing. Now, she doesn’t engage me before.
On our second sitting, of which some parts are explained above without categorizing, I decide to just ask her out. I say ‘I think this is it then, it’s bye.’ Then pause and look away, then do ‘What if I wanted to see you again?’ She thinks for 2 or 3 seconds and shakes her head. Her interest probably plummeted totally here. I get it, she must see continuous interest from all men all the time, so she probably put me in the ‘just another interested buy’ bin. Well, fuck! BUT HOW TO NOT BE THAT GUY? JUST ANOTHER PASSENGER GUY ASKING HER OUT?
Then, I change topic to some neutral topic, don’t get hang up on her no. Probably her interest comes back a little cause she sees I’m not butthurt, but not as lively as she was the first time.
After some more talking, I do a second try. I pull my phone out and motion, but nope it’s still a no.
2nd attempt failed.
We also get to the topic of adventure somehow and I ask her ‘Will you jump off a plane?’ She says ‘I’d love to’. God I love this girl! Say says it’s called ‘sky something’, I say ‘It’s called skydiving’, then ask if she would like to do a solo jump. She denies it. She asks me the same, I say it’s on my list, if things work out I’d do it. Then I explain what tandem and AFF is, partly because I thought knowing the information may sound impressive. Another big mistake. I was investing too much on some topic that didn’t bring us closer.
I attempt a 3rd time. I go for the Before Sunrise movie line, ‘What if someday 20 years later or so you thought what if I had met him a second time and it was not just a 10 minute talk?’ I say ‘I’m giving you an opportunity here, you can take it or leave it, neither of us gain or lose anything either way.’
She asks me to clarity what I was really saying, and also who was this him? I say it’s me or probably pointed toward me. Shouldn’t have done that. Could’ve gone another attractive way.
I say how ‘Regret is a bitch’ and I’m careful to hold eye contact and not flinch, so that she understands that I don’t give a fuck about using curse words. I also used ‘shit’ somewhere during our talk.
She says no with her line ‘Not every chance is worth taking.’ It’s nonchalant, I sense indifference than disinterest.
I keep pushing some more and building a no for about 2 minutes or maybe more. Just realized this probably killed the whole thing. Should’ve moved to a different topic immediately at the first hint of another rejection.
3rd attempt failed.
After all the rejections, I take care to not let any emotions show, but it must not have worked cause as I asked her out a number of times, my interest was clear to her.
Now, at home I don’t really talk. My family and I hardly talk, if I’m comfortable with someone I hardly talk. So, not talking or keeping our contact to only 30 mins per 2 or 3 days shouldn’t be a problem with any girl I hope. BUT, HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO CONVEY TAHT IN A 10 – 15 MINUTE PERIOD?
Everyone leaves, I’m sitting cause I read about what not to do on flights, and one thing Indians supposedly did was stand up immediately after landing and queue unnecessarily. I witnessed it was true. That was one reason of sitting there till almost everyone was out. And also, cause I wanted to try one last time. Try I did. It’s still a no. (By the way, there is this Blogspot blog which has hilarious stories of Indians behaving in insane ways during flights, if you want a good laugh, read it, just search ‘indian flight horror stories’ or something, the post had over 700 comments last time I checked, everyone from other countries agreeing with an occasional sensible Indian, and many butthurt fellow Indians defending themselves with 2000 year plus old glory).
4th attempt failed
She wished me goodluck about my life, I said hope so. And since I liked her and our talk was somewhat nice and she shared some info, I felt this urge to share my problem. So I said ‘Well I have problems in my life, hopefully they’ll go away.’ I again added, ‘probably something that happens to only 1 in a million’.
I was referring to the black magic thing I posted here about (or you may think schizophrenia, whichever suits your understanding). Now I genuinely think it’s very very rare. Cause if it’s magic, most affected people will be dead after 3 years of voice hearing, or the people who did it will stop. Not in my case, still alive after one suicide attempt, still the magic is ongoing (or medical condition if you’re hell bent on science, either is fine).
It must have felt dramatic to her. Now, I guess most people have pretty deep fucked up problems. But I guess we all think our problems are the worst. At the same time, battling your own mind every day (or hearing criticizing voices for that matter), refusing to take medicine cause it may damage the mind, sensing your parents being manipulated by external force on many days, I really don’t think it’s very common.
Whatever that may be; point is, I showed her my vulnerable side, and it was genuine too in that moment. But, she must have thought this was my attempt from another angle or something. Probably was, or maybe not. She says ‘But it happened right?’, I say ‘Yeah that’s life!’. Now I realize I might have said that cause last night I had suicidal thoughts, thought about jumping off the building for a second or so.
Looking back, I should’ve never said that at all. Because, I shouldn’t complain, and much more important than that - NOT WHINE ABOUT HOW LIFE SUCKS.
I personally made the rule today after reflecting on the above that I won’t ever tell my complaints to anyone, at least not to a girlfriend of at least 3 months, or a guy friend of at least 1 year or so. Whatever she shared with me, the fact that we only talked for 15 minutes doesn’t change. Also, she never shared any deep vulnerability.
Hell I even said, once almost everyone was out, ‘I want to see you again, maybe in 1 year, 2 years, 10 years’. The tone was mostly neutral, but in her mind she must have thought I fell for her or something of that sort, already clingy or desperate. Cause the communication that I can’t meet her too much, or it’s sexual first wasn’t very clear. She must have thought something serious. She basically gave me dog food at this point, which I entirely and dearly deserved, “You can fly our airline and maybe we will meet someday again.”
In the middle of somewhere before this, I also made a huge mistake. I basically confronted her, which I should never ever do with girls when they resist. I asked her ‘You’re just afraid of the judgement right?’
Goal was to let her know I understand. She probably thought I was too cocky or self-assured or trying too hard or whatever. These nuances, they kill everything I see now. Also, I remember Chase’s post saying with really attractive or on-demand girls, 1 mistake is often enough to kill everything. I made at least 7 or 8, probably much more. No wonder seasoned seducers sharpen over 10, 15, 20 years of game. Shit is insanely nuanced.
Also, I changed my tone during her 2nd sitting to laughing and teasing, the first time my reactions were mostly slow. Second time not so much. I do this a lot consciously, thinking it will build comfort. Sudden laughs, more animated body language, too friendly voice etc. But ALWAYS, ALWAYS has the reverse effect, it kills comfort. Should pay more attention to which girls respond well to what.
Also, I was not very genuine either. She didn’t know WHY I wanted to meet her. I never said that. ‘Should’ve said I love your face like crazy, it’s exactly what I love.’ Didn’t. Now I realize I have a whole folder of mostly girls having a face like hers, could’ve shown her to make her believe it’s not a fake thing.
Anyway, at last, I wish her a nice day and we part ways. If we ever meet again, I think she’ll do everything she can do not come near me.
Two other mistakes:
At one point for some reason I said yesterday was fun too, and she asked ‘Do you do this on every flight?’. I immediately said no, not on flight, it was different. And asked why she was interested, smiling. She didn’t say anything. Now, while that may be true that she was the first stewardess I ever tried picking up, she had no way to know anything. (Did I say I flew only 2 times? Wish me luck for more of these opportunities, not every stewardess has a face I totally love). On her mind, I may be the 25 year old guy who never flew on a plane before, and has made seducing the stewardesses his life goal, since yesterday, when he flew the first time ever. (Oucch!) Can this also work in another way, like she thinks ‘Oh he just wants to fuck an stewardess? I don’t mean shit to him?’ I get it she is on-demand, but all of them has these insecurities. Objectification. Could be?
Second mistake was showing her a photo of a skydiving couple that I have saved on my phone with about 150 other travel pictures. I only later realized that since the plane landed, she must have thought I went to Google and searched it and showed it then and there.
Also, could’ve tried instant date given that my phone also had low charge so maybe couldn’t wait in airport a while, didn’t think of it at that moment.
Anyway, one thing that really made me feel like a winner at home was actually realizing I was right about her sign being either air or water. She didn’t know which sign fell in which category, neither did I. She knew it was Gemini. Alas, I didn’t know that Gemini was air at that time. Could’ve earned me good points.
I HAVE THESE QUESTIONS:
1. How feasible is it to pick up an air hostess or at least get her number and meet a second time, given that you genuinely do most things right?
2. How do you TOUCH and build investment in a situation where everyone is close and there are more than 2 or 3 eyes judging at all times? (Oh, by the way, fun fact: I got pretty nasty looks from a few fellow passengers, the types who probably fucked only cause their parents found them a groom or a bride.)
3. Anything I did wrong that I missed?
(NOTES TO SELF (don’t try understanding, you’ll probably not)
WRONGS
1. her ghy hotel checks
2. not rewarding and punishing eye contact, instead non-strategic breaks
3. not letting her ask questions
4. not waiting all the way till everyone was down and then attempting a 2nd and final ask out, instead of asking out so many times ‘xxx, let’s see each other again sometime’ pause and pause.
5. not making vibe and eye contact sexual
6. not handling ‘do you do this all the time’ question well, amplifying and make it hilarious
7. too logical persuasion, not emotional spike persuasion
8. not making casual clear, she prob thought serious
9. long explanations about stupid stuff
10. no us vs them, anchoring use
11. not hammering i’m busy point
12. inaudible voice, me leaning to her multiple times, saying things twice or thrice multiple times
13. not just keep talking after everyone is out (ship already sank, nothing to lose anymore anyway)
14. totally ignoring in the middle, which was probably she just sat cold 2nd time before me engaging
15. cold reading gone awry, didn’t know signs well
16. cold reading are you only child, instead of reverse
RIGHTS
1. fuck i persisted like a motherfucker
2. actually engaging her and believing that she was interested)
My seat is near the emergency exit and this flight didn’t have an overhead luggage compartment above the emergency exit (I found out later that it’s not a common thing to not have a compartment after asking the particular air hostess I’m talking about here, it was my second time ever flying on a plane).
From the beginning now. I can’t find an empty space. Tell her ‘Excuse Me.’ She is busy with another customer, so acknowledges me and says or implies that she’ll engage me after talking to the customer. I get it, it’s her job. Anyway, this is the start. I look other ways. Then she engages me. I explain I have no compartment to put luggage on. She looks at a few places, and asks me to put it somewhere. Now I realize she didn’t really work hard to find a compartment, probably cause lots of people to handle or whatever. I’m seated and since I’m next to the exit, she comes for assistance. I address her by name and she explains to me the emergency exit procedure. Anyway, she is nice to me, nicer than just doing her job. Maybe it was just my mind at this point, OR MAYBE NOT.
When demonstrating flight safety procedures to everyone, I hold eye contact with her and break it at other times. I see her looking at me 4 or more times, she notices I’m looking at her eyes. Entirely unnecessary on her part to look at me multiple times, if I meant just another guest to her. This part made her interest clear.
Now my advantage was that I was near the exit, so she had to talk to me. Also, her seat was near me to the right, facing me. Proximity is, if I lean my whole body in front, we can be our faces touching.
The flight takes off and she is sitting right next to me, facing me. We engage, I ask her mostly questions related to being a stewardess.
Ask her why she chose what she chose. She just gave me vague answer like she had no reason. I pressed, but still no (later she got into more detail, this was good, her walls were breaking). Other than that, I was asking the questions. She was just answering, but talking ratio was probably 70:30, her talking 70 percent of the time. Also, I noticed a shift of tone in her to a ‘matter-of-fact’ voice when answering another female passenger’s question about something.
Eye contact is strong. Saw her pressing lip once. I’m pretty certain she was interested, but I couldn’t pull the whole thing off. Well, inexperience I guess.
Also I hear flight attendants are pretty tough cases. The fact that she gave me the amount of attention she did, the fact that she was a 10 in facial looks, 7 o 8 in body, and 7 in success in my book, I’m flattered. I don’t even look my best yet. I’m really flattered. Means I actually get interest from genuinely attractive girls, it’s not just in my head.
I ask her if being an Indian flight attendant is really as hard as I hear. She says ‘You yourself saw.’ Lol. I reply ‘No, I didn’t, the flight has just started.’
Now I ask her which was her worst experience as a stewardess. She talks about old men who find excuses to touch her, and about passengers who ask her ‘What is this?’ even when she gives them water. I say ‘It’s all those Bollywood movies (Indian cinema) that show men get women by stalking them.’ She says it’s also education. Let’s say we go back and forth, some more detailed discussion, and then agree to disagree after a minute.
I also slip in a compliment in a sentence, first asking ‘Your training is pretty rigorous to be an air hostess, right?’, to which she obviously agrees, and then say ‘You can’t judge everyone to be on your standard, most people are not that smart.’
At some point, I cold read as ‘Are you an only child?’ She says she has a sister.
Perhaps I sensed she was NOT an only child, but don’t know why I went for the only child question instead of asking ‘Do you have siblings?’.
These little things must have added to the big disaster later.
She asks me about where I stay, I ask her where she stays etc. Through our 15 mins or so total talk, spanning two sitting sessions on her part during seat belt sessions, I find out her home location, how long she has been working, what she did in free time during her later childhood, how she ignored some jobs because of particular reasons and became an air hostess later etc.
She asks if I flied the first time on some part, probably because of my questions.
I said yesterday was first, today is second. I don’t know if that lost me points, cause I’m 25. But I hope not, cause my goal is to get girls when they have zero idea about my economic status and other superficial things. Top notch guys for example, never even mention those details most of the time I find on youtube videos. I just wholly want to cut the external success part and still be able to get top notch girls. We’ll see how that works out!
She says ‘Are you philosophy student?’
Was a weird thing to say, so I asked ‘Why?’
She says my questions appear like that. I say ‘But is that helping me get to know you better than most other people who know you?’ She kind of agrees. Then I explain more, which was probably a very costly mistake as I now realize, that my goal is to not know facts but I’m interested in the human experience and why they do what they do etc.
I went on a little tangent here, must have looked to her as trying to impress her or investing too much, which was definitely the case.
She also mentions some friend she had who as a lot like me. I don’t know what to make of it. So I thought of it as an opportunity assuming her experience may have been positive. I say ‘Did you love, hate, were neutral toward him? I stress love and my vibe was flirty. She was like why are you saying this, while smiling. Polite smile, rather than blushing. Now, she picked this one later to politely reject me by saying ‘you’re turning out just like my friend’, to which i replied ‘I don’t know your friend, we never talked much about him.’ If she had a bad experience with the guy, means I was fucked from the beginning as she was likely to associate me with him. In any case, I don’t really know and will never find out.
Now, take off is over. She goes to take care of other passengers. Now, I’m not looking her at all the whole time. She sits again during landing. Now, she doesn’t engage me before.
On our second sitting, of which some parts are explained above without categorizing, I decide to just ask her out. I say ‘I think this is it then, it’s bye.’ Then pause and look away, then do ‘What if I wanted to see you again?’ She thinks for 2 or 3 seconds and shakes her head. Her interest probably plummeted totally here. I get it, she must see continuous interest from all men all the time, so she probably put me in the ‘just another interested buy’ bin. Well, fuck! BUT HOW TO NOT BE THAT GUY? JUST ANOTHER PASSENGER GUY ASKING HER OUT?
Then, I change topic to some neutral topic, don’t get hang up on her no. Probably her interest comes back a little cause she sees I’m not butthurt, but not as lively as she was the first time.
After some more talking, I do a second try. I pull my phone out and motion, but nope it’s still a no.
2nd attempt failed.
We also get to the topic of adventure somehow and I ask her ‘Will you jump off a plane?’ She says ‘I’d love to’. God I love this girl! Say says it’s called ‘sky something’, I say ‘It’s called skydiving’, then ask if she would like to do a solo jump. She denies it. She asks me the same, I say it’s on my list, if things work out I’d do it. Then I explain what tandem and AFF is, partly because I thought knowing the information may sound impressive. Another big mistake. I was investing too much on some topic that didn’t bring us closer.
I attempt a 3rd time. I go for the Before Sunrise movie line, ‘What if someday 20 years later or so you thought what if I had met him a second time and it was not just a 10 minute talk?’ I say ‘I’m giving you an opportunity here, you can take it or leave it, neither of us gain or lose anything either way.’
She asks me to clarity what I was really saying, and also who was this him? I say it’s me or probably pointed toward me. Shouldn’t have done that. Could’ve gone another attractive way.
I say how ‘Regret is a bitch’ and I’m careful to hold eye contact and not flinch, so that she understands that I don’t give a fuck about using curse words. I also used ‘shit’ somewhere during our talk.
She says no with her line ‘Not every chance is worth taking.’ It’s nonchalant, I sense indifference than disinterest.
I keep pushing some more and building a no for about 2 minutes or maybe more. Just realized this probably killed the whole thing. Should’ve moved to a different topic immediately at the first hint of another rejection.
3rd attempt failed.
After all the rejections, I take care to not let any emotions show, but it must not have worked cause as I asked her out a number of times, my interest was clear to her.
Now, at home I don’t really talk. My family and I hardly talk, if I’m comfortable with someone I hardly talk. So, not talking or keeping our contact to only 30 mins per 2 or 3 days shouldn’t be a problem with any girl I hope. BUT, HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO CONVEY TAHT IN A 10 – 15 MINUTE PERIOD?
Everyone leaves, I’m sitting cause I read about what not to do on flights, and one thing Indians supposedly did was stand up immediately after landing and queue unnecessarily. I witnessed it was true. That was one reason of sitting there till almost everyone was out. And also, cause I wanted to try one last time. Try I did. It’s still a no. (By the way, there is this Blogspot blog which has hilarious stories of Indians behaving in insane ways during flights, if you want a good laugh, read it, just search ‘indian flight horror stories’ or something, the post had over 700 comments last time I checked, everyone from other countries agreeing with an occasional sensible Indian, and many butthurt fellow Indians defending themselves with 2000 year plus old glory).
4th attempt failed
She wished me goodluck about my life, I said hope so. And since I liked her and our talk was somewhat nice and she shared some info, I felt this urge to share my problem. So I said ‘Well I have problems in my life, hopefully they’ll go away.’ I again added, ‘probably something that happens to only 1 in a million’.
I was referring to the black magic thing I posted here about (or you may think schizophrenia, whichever suits your understanding). Now I genuinely think it’s very very rare. Cause if it’s magic, most affected people will be dead after 3 years of voice hearing, or the people who did it will stop. Not in my case, still alive after one suicide attempt, still the magic is ongoing (or medical condition if you’re hell bent on science, either is fine).
It must have felt dramatic to her. Now, I guess most people have pretty deep fucked up problems. But I guess we all think our problems are the worst. At the same time, battling your own mind every day (or hearing criticizing voices for that matter), refusing to take medicine cause it may damage the mind, sensing your parents being manipulated by external force on many days, I really don’t think it’s very common.
Whatever that may be; point is, I showed her my vulnerable side, and it was genuine too in that moment. But, she must have thought this was my attempt from another angle or something. Probably was, or maybe not. She says ‘But it happened right?’, I say ‘Yeah that’s life!’. Now I realize I might have said that cause last night I had suicidal thoughts, thought about jumping off the building for a second or so.
Looking back, I should’ve never said that at all. Because, I shouldn’t complain, and much more important than that - NOT WHINE ABOUT HOW LIFE SUCKS.
I personally made the rule today after reflecting on the above that I won’t ever tell my complaints to anyone, at least not to a girlfriend of at least 3 months, or a guy friend of at least 1 year or so. Whatever she shared with me, the fact that we only talked for 15 minutes doesn’t change. Also, she never shared any deep vulnerability.
Hell I even said, once almost everyone was out, ‘I want to see you again, maybe in 1 year, 2 years, 10 years’. The tone was mostly neutral, but in her mind she must have thought I fell for her or something of that sort, already clingy or desperate. Cause the communication that I can’t meet her too much, or it’s sexual first wasn’t very clear. She must have thought something serious. She basically gave me dog food at this point, which I entirely and dearly deserved, “You can fly our airline and maybe we will meet someday again.”
In the middle of somewhere before this, I also made a huge mistake. I basically confronted her, which I should never ever do with girls when they resist. I asked her ‘You’re just afraid of the judgement right?’
Goal was to let her know I understand. She probably thought I was too cocky or self-assured or trying too hard or whatever. These nuances, they kill everything I see now. Also, I remember Chase’s post saying with really attractive or on-demand girls, 1 mistake is often enough to kill everything. I made at least 7 or 8, probably much more. No wonder seasoned seducers sharpen over 10, 15, 20 years of game. Shit is insanely nuanced.
Also, I changed my tone during her 2nd sitting to laughing and teasing, the first time my reactions were mostly slow. Second time not so much. I do this a lot consciously, thinking it will build comfort. Sudden laughs, more animated body language, too friendly voice etc. But ALWAYS, ALWAYS has the reverse effect, it kills comfort. Should pay more attention to which girls respond well to what.
Also, I was not very genuine either. She didn’t know WHY I wanted to meet her. I never said that. ‘Should’ve said I love your face like crazy, it’s exactly what I love.’ Didn’t. Now I realize I have a whole folder of mostly girls having a face like hers, could’ve shown her to make her believe it’s not a fake thing.
Anyway, at last, I wish her a nice day and we part ways. If we ever meet again, I think she’ll do everything she can do not come near me.
Two other mistakes:
At one point for some reason I said yesterday was fun too, and she asked ‘Do you do this on every flight?’. I immediately said no, not on flight, it was different. And asked why she was interested, smiling. She didn’t say anything. Now, while that may be true that she was the first stewardess I ever tried picking up, she had no way to know anything. (Did I say I flew only 2 times? Wish me luck for more of these opportunities, not every stewardess has a face I totally love). On her mind, I may be the 25 year old guy who never flew on a plane before, and has made seducing the stewardesses his life goal, since yesterday, when he flew the first time ever. (Oucch!) Can this also work in another way, like she thinks ‘Oh he just wants to fuck an stewardess? I don’t mean shit to him?’ I get it she is on-demand, but all of them has these insecurities. Objectification. Could be?
Second mistake was showing her a photo of a skydiving couple that I have saved on my phone with about 150 other travel pictures. I only later realized that since the plane landed, she must have thought I went to Google and searched it and showed it then and there.
Also, could’ve tried instant date given that my phone also had low charge so maybe couldn’t wait in airport a while, didn’t think of it at that moment.
Anyway, one thing that really made me feel like a winner at home was actually realizing I was right about her sign being either air or water. She didn’t know which sign fell in which category, neither did I. She knew it was Gemini. Alas, I didn’t know that Gemini was air at that time. Could’ve earned me good points.
I HAVE THESE QUESTIONS:
1. How feasible is it to pick up an air hostess or at least get her number and meet a second time, given that you genuinely do most things right?
2. How do you TOUCH and build investment in a situation where everyone is close and there are more than 2 or 3 eyes judging at all times? (Oh, by the way, fun fact: I got pretty nasty looks from a few fellow passengers, the types who probably fucked only cause their parents found them a groom or a bride.)
3. Anything I did wrong that I missed?
(NOTES TO SELF (don’t try understanding, you’ll probably not)
WRONGS
1. her ghy hotel checks
2. not rewarding and punishing eye contact, instead non-strategic breaks
3. not letting her ask questions
4. not waiting all the way till everyone was down and then attempting a 2nd and final ask out, instead of asking out so many times ‘xxx, let’s see each other again sometime’ pause and pause.
5. not making vibe and eye contact sexual
6. not handling ‘do you do this all the time’ question well, amplifying and make it hilarious
7. too logical persuasion, not emotional spike persuasion
8. not making casual clear, she prob thought serious
9. long explanations about stupid stuff
10. no us vs them, anchoring use
11. not hammering i’m busy point
12. inaudible voice, me leaning to her multiple times, saying things twice or thrice multiple times
13. not just keep talking after everyone is out (ship already sank, nothing to lose anymore anyway)
14. totally ignoring in the middle, which was probably she just sat cold 2nd time before me engaging
15. cold reading gone awry, didn’t know signs well
16. cold reading are you only child, instead of reverse
RIGHTS
1. fuck i persisted like a motherfucker
2. actually engaging her and believing that she was interested)