Looking for tips on dealing with freedom vs. society conflict

GreekLetterMale

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 15, 2018
Messages
13
Hi all,

Decided to make an account for this board since I've been reading articles on here for about half a year now. I've made this post to ask for some tips on how I can direct my life in such a way that I'll be able to continue to grow. I'll first provide some background, because I feel like some explanation is necessary before I ask my question.

I feel like I'm dealing with a lot of cognitive dissonance the last couple of two years, which has built up to a level that it requires expressing, hence my post. About two years ago marked the end of a dark period for me, using lots of professional help I was able to get a grasp on dealing with society. So far so good, I've now started the third year of my bachelor's. Starting of in my bachelor I was obsessive about doing good and hellbent on proving myself to be an intellectual. I did good and so my second year was kinda meh, I already proved myself so who cares. My third year will be less busy, leaving me with more free time on my hands. However, I find myself in a twilight state where one force is telling me to finish my bachelor's and get good grades while I'm at it, and the other force - which is gaining more strength lately - is telling me to pursue what I really want to pursue in life.

It doesn't help that after I ended a 6 month relationship in May this year, I was left wanting more. This was a relationship with a shy excited girl who turned my world around and forced me to be a dominant man. While it was a short relationship, it was beautiful in a sense that it was so honest and got me so close to my true self. I went on a short exchange program in Asia this summer, which gave me the opportunity to be my true self in a whole new social situation. I did just that and now I'm left with the knowledge that I could be doing much better in life. On top of this I've been reading lots of articles on here, which change the way I view the world, or maybe it's more that it's reassuring me that how I once saw the world, was in fact how it really is. In other words, I don't need to and didn't need to doubt my own judgment. So in that sense it feels like I'm becoming more like an old version of myself that I left a long time ago, and I'm basically just growing from the point where I left my old self, which feels really natural and just great.

It's not new to me that I want to be doing something else than studying. I have to finish my bachelor to significantly reduce my student debt, this is the only thing that motivates me at the moment. I wanted to do something else after my studies anyway. What's new to me is that I'm realizing my potential and everything in me is telling me to follow that. I'm 25 and I realize the timeframe in which I can find out where my true passion lies is getting smaller and smaller. I still have some years ofcourse and obviously I'm grateful I'm going through these changes now while I still can, from a society point of view.

This relates to the art of seducing in that I really want to start doing this. I want to do cold approaches on the streets, I already decided that my first cold approach would be in the university library. I just wanna do it. However I know that I'll probably get obsessed by it and not put enough time in my studies, since I tend to not have enough self-control for doing one thing I really like and one I'm bored with. But I can't get myself to do it, because I don't see myself as a man who follows their dreams. I see myself as an average Joe. The moment I would do something I believe in I know I would convincingly and passionately be able to practice pickup and seducing. I hope I painted a clear picture of the conflict that is happening within me, hence the cognitive dissonance mentioned earlier.

So maybe it all comes down to discipline, which can be practiced. In that case, I'll accept this as an answer and I'll move on. In the case I'm overseeing some insight I could be having, I'm wondering if someone has some tips for me on dealing with a situation like this, where I'm basically trapped in the system and for financial reasons I have to stay in, while freedom is within my grasp, with the prospect of a bunch of naked girls in my bed and being able to feel passion just around the corner.

Thanks in advance.
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
1,453
Welcome aboard bro!

It sounds to me like you're growing a lot as a person right now and have grown a lot already. Cognitive dissonance is actually a good thing because it means that you're challenging beliefs or subconscious ways of thinking that are starting to bottom out. It's actually a very healthy practice when done in moderation!

Now, while I read your entire post, this stuck out to me more than anything, and made me want to reply.
But I can't get myself to do it, because I don't see myself as a man who follows their dreams. I see myself as an average Joe.
Why?

You speak in the rest of your post of becoming this "old you" that's moving in a direction of growth and proves to himself what he's capable of. Have you tried to prove to yourself that you ARE a man who follows his dreams, and then succeeds in doing so?

It's possible that because you see your potential (and a person's potential is infinite, mind you) and see the current' "you" not being the same as that image and say to yourself, "I'm just an average joe". Okay, let's say you are. It's still apparent there's some force within you that is pushing your mind away from that and towards something greater. This is not something to be afraid of or upset with, but rather inspired by.


One other thing that I got from your post is that you seem to think that finishing your bachelor's and pursuing your passions are mutually exclusive. This is not at all true man. It takes time management, balance, and probably several series of failures (and if you haven't failed yet - hurry up and fail) to do both, but once you figure out what you specifically have to do to accomplish both, it becomes so fun! Work hard play hard. By balancing a work-discipline, the play-passions become all the better, and allow you to really dive into them since you've been so hungry for it during your work time.

Not to be overly anecdotal, but bro, last year I was in 3 different research labs, 1 internship, 1 part-time job, taking 4 classes, and going out drinking 3 nights a week. I fucked a good amount of chicks last year too, so, you gotta figure out both how hard you can push yourself, and in what ways you should push yourself to reach your optimal productivity & enjoyment.

I'm wondering if someone has some tips for me on dealing with a situation like this, where I'm basically trapped in the system and for financial reasons I have to stay in, while freedom is within my grasp, with the prospect of a bunch of naked girls in my bed and being able to feel passion just around the corner.
And while this will make me sound like a cliche douche, it's all in your head man. Don't get me wrong I think student loans are fucked and the narrative about education system that high school graduates are fed is extremely flawed. But in the context we're talking about - the only thing most people are trapped by is their own thoughts and perceptions of social constructs.

You seem bright, I'm sure you'll find your answer. Keep digging man (=

I hope this helps, and to see ya around brotha!


Hue
 
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