Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach



Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Seppuku » Sun Oct 14, 2018 7:31 am

Over the last three years, I have had my best successes while traveling abroad. It shouldn’t be surprising, because there are unique circumstances that make seduction much more efficient and easier while traveling.

1. You are novelty
Here is a surprising truth. A woman is much more likely to engage into casual with an absolutely unknown guy, than with a guy who has been around her forever. And to you guys new to seduction, this is food for thought! You could probably ditch all these women you have been “working on” for months. The reason for this is, if you’ve been around forever, she already has decided that you are “not that sort of man”. She will decide very early on in your interaction whether you’re that sort of torrid Lover, or just another one of these boring Useful Guys. And if you haven’t made it happen already, you’re already classified into the second category. Whereas as a total newcomer, she hasn’t made up her mind yet!

2. You have mystery
All these hot ladies have a fantasy of the “Prince that comes from afar”. Which is precisely you, the Traveler! Part of the excitement is the mystery that comes with a complete outsider, and the fantasy of the sort of life that these guys far away must be having. It’s always better elsewhere, as we all know.

3. You have a natural time constraint
Hey, you won’t be here anymore in a few days! So she can’t play the usual games of making you wait and chase. If she likes you, she will make herself available instead. You avoid a lot of the usual crap because of this!

4. There are no social consequences
More girls are open to a casual fling once in a while, than they care to admit. But the problem being, what if someone saw her? How about the guys who are currently orbiting her? If they saw her in company, they would be disappointed and upset, and self eject! How about current Mr Boyfriend? How about the girlfriends? Are they going to slut shame her? Also, what if the lover starts getting clingy after that? Possibly stalking her? Or what if the lover mistakenly (or intentionally!) leaks the secret? All these are potentially serious risks to her. And these risks are minimal if she knows the guy won’t be here the next day.

5. You are already disqualifed as boyfriend
It’s simple, you can’t be a candidate for a long term relationship if you live far away. Not easily, at least. So she is not going to expect you as BF. Problem solved!

What is the best approach to casual encounters in a new city?
The best approach is to go there first, then run your usual process to get numbers and dates. I’m personally in online dating, so once I’m there I start swiping. But if you guys want to run cold approach, by all means do that.

The idea is it’s easier to start from very fresh once there, as opposed to matching a girl from afar (Tinder, Instagram or whatever) then arrange a meeting in advance. But that assumes that you have enough time.

If you want to arrange a date from a distance
This is possible, although more complicated. The main problem you want to avoid is her building expectations in anticipation of the meeting. Small expectations progressively grow up ultimately into a monster. Also, and part of the same, you should avoid sexualizing the interaction too much before meeting face to face. If she starts expecting that it will end up in sex, you can count on huge ASD building up. On a personal note, I already have a case of a lady changing her mind about meeting many times after I had booked the tickets. It eventually happened! But what a roller-coaster along the way!

Here are my rules for timing and setting up a Long Distance first date:

Rules for timing:

    1. You need to be able to physically travel and meet her in person, within two or three weeks max
    2. If the opportunity comes too early, it's best not to turn on the heat yet over texting. Best to keep low profile and stay as neutral as possible for now. Turn the heat later, when condition 1 is met
    3. No need to engage a new girl online if rule 1 is not met - it is too early!
Rules of setting up Long Distance Meeting:

    1. Establish her interest for a meeting in principle, and try to discreetly poll her availability
    2. If possible, work out a few additional potential options in the area
    3. Inform her a few days before the fact that you are coming to her city
    4. Don't make it look like you're coming purposefully to see her - that would be the pedestal again.
    5. Place her in front of the fact: "I am here until Sunday..." If she is interested, she will make time.
    6. In case of last minute trouble, fallback on secondary options
    7. All this, within two or three weeks of first contact with her, as per rules of timing above.
    8. Prior to meeting, you can be teasing and sexy, but avoid to imply the meeting is going to be sexual. Much better to keep the mystery on this, i.e. “Is he planning to fuck me?"

I hope this helps.

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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Franco » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:00 pm

Great post, Seppuku!

Thanks for sharing your tips for getting girls while traveling. :)

Cheers,

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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Big Daddy » Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:18 pm

Hey Doc,

Just wondering -- do you do any day/night game or only online game?

If you rely solely on online game, why? It seems like a consensus (certainly it has been my experience) that online dating apps will yield lower quality girls... which is fine to supplement if you want to, but I find your posts extremely thoughtful and I assume you wouldn't have many problems in bars and such.
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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Seppuku » Tue Oct 16, 2018 1:30 am

@Franco,

Thank you! I'm humbled.

@Big Daddy

I hear you man!

In 2014 when I started to learn this, I initially tried day game, but then I discovered online dating and start hitting almost instantaneous results... so I went on with it. At the end of the day, when the girl is on a date with you, it doesn't matter much how you got there. My golden online dating years were 2015-2016. And I still get very good results in some countries I travel to. But yes, like you said, I can see how the quality is overall declining though, so I need new avenues.

And yes, I really see the value of being able to just walk to a girl you like and talk to her. Night game is really not my thing, but at some point I will return to learning day game. Now where I am in the world (a conservative Muslim country) is not ideal for that as there is a lot of social pressure. Hopefully my days in the middle east are almost over, maybe by next summer I will relocate elsewhere.

Another thing I want to try is a "hobby job" which gives me opportunities to meet plenty of new women. Been thinking of photographer. Or organizing some upscale events. The kind where you show up in suit and tie, accompanied by a sexy escort.

Glad you enjoyed my posts!

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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Fuck This » Tue Oct 16, 2018 12:56 pm

Well written step by step guide. I think you hit all the important points.

Nothing better than a text from a girl you just met with her room number....
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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Seppuku » Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:20 am

Hey FT,

Thank you man!
Nothing better than a text from a girl you just met with her room number....

What I have done in the past is to meet her at the hotel's pool bar, then move to the bedroom after an hour or so. The ultimate in logistics.

Cheers,
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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby ray_zorse » Sun Oct 28, 2018 9:55 am

Yes, this is a cool post.

I think it is good to try something different from time to time, for me that would probably be online and nightgame which haven't been my preference in the past, even though I dabbled a bit. Seppuku you should dabble a bit in daygame as it may change your outlook (things that seem difficult get a lot easier after the first few times).

Combining daygame with travel is a bit more challenging, the cool thing about daygame is that it can be slotted into your routine while NOT travelling. While travelling it's probably better to think of it more as "tourist game" and just talking to everyone you meet, which naturally happens in a resort environment. And also emphasize nightgame more while travelling perhaps. Travelling specifically for the purpose of meeting ordinary women in supermarkets and whatnot is ambitious but can work.

cheers, Ray
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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Grand Pooba » Mon Oct 29, 2018 3:26 pm

Great post, and matches my experience. You can really kill it in the game while traveling abroad solo - but also watch out for the momentum to carry back over when you come home, too...that's one of the best parts!
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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Seppuku » Wed Oct 31, 2018 1:22 am

Ray,

Thanks for feedback.

ray_zorse wrote:I think it is good to try something different from time to time, for me that would probably be online and nightgame which haven't been my preference in the past, even though I dabbled a bit. Seppuku you should dabble a bit in daygame as it may change your outlook (things that seem difficult get a lot easier after the first few times).

I hear you, but where I am right now (Qatar) is not the place to try day game. You see what you posted on your Journal, about the girl you approached on the train? If it happened here, you would face 3 months jail, losing your job and end of service benefits, and deportation. Even with low odds, it's not worth the risk. It is definitely on my bucket list though, as soon as I relocate elsewhere. That, plus running some sort of high end social game.

Grand Pooba,
Great post, and matches my experience. You can really kill it in the game while traveling abroad solo - but also watch out for the momentum to carry back over when you come home, too...that's one of the best parts!

Yep, I see what you mean. I enjoyed many of this "momentum" thing, definitely among my best memories.

Thanks man!
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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Chase » Fri Nov 09, 2018 1:31 am

Excellent post, Seppuku.

The novelty, time constraint, and natural disqualifier are big helps in making up a girl's mind. Makes it very clearcut for her: "I like this guy, he's cute/sexy, but there's no future with him. So what do I want to do?"

Being the traveler helps a lot with screening because of this too. In your home city you can get women with a wide range of objectives hanging around you. Some of them want a cool male friend, some of them see you as a potential networking resource, some of them want to date you, and some just want to shag. When you're moving through town and not sticking around, the girls who want something other than a quick fling just aren't as motivated to meet up with you or spend time on you. So you end up sifting the pan and to where it's largely only the girls who are very into still left (plus a few traveler women who like to make new connections in far-flung cities... but that's a minority).


For cold approach:

I'll throw a bit in here since you said you don't do this.

One of the advantages of cold approach in a new city is you break your routines and can explore what feels like a nearly infinite pool of available new women. You'll also tend to notice the beautiful girls and ignore the unattractive ones more than you do in your home city. Everything from this article, basically.

Some tips when traveling:

  • Women in train stations, airports, and on trains, planes, and buses are easy to talk to casually about the location. What do they do there, why are they traveling, etc. When you walk into a train station or an airport, take a moment to look around first and see where the attractive women are. Then go position yourself near them, relax for a minute or two, then strike up a conversation. This is a very low pressure, casual way to get into conversation, and often you can meet girls headed to your destination whom you can meet up with once there. You can also meet cool guys this way too -- I've met really cool guys in airports numerous times whom I ended up going out and partying or picking up with at some point during my stay in that city. Sometimes I talked to them first, sometimes they talked to me first. Travel is great for this.
  • Once you're out and about in the new city, ask attractive women for directions. I like to get SIM cards whatever country I go to... I know most folks are on WhatsApp or WeChat or whatever these days and don't need a local SIM. Or they have an international calling plan on their SIM. But if you only text and have to get a SIM, it's a very easy excuse to approach girls for directions. And I for one kind of like having girls have to use text to communicate with me when they're busily WhatsApping or Facebooking or whatever with all the other people in their lives... if you're attractive to them, it only differentiates you from the crowd more. Anyway, SIMs are not the only thing you can ask directions for. How to get to your hotel (if you walk / take the metro), where the good cafés are, where the nightlife is, where this or that monument is, etc. You can even meet girls on your way to a date with another girl (lol)... "Excuse me, do you know where XYZ café is?" It gets a little ridiculous when a girl you just met walks you to the place where you have a date with another girl, but it's a lot of fun as well.
  • People love to be tour guides. Girls love to show off their cities. Cool guys love to meet other cool guys and show them the town and the best places to meet chill women. It's really easy to leverage the "Hey I just got here and am new in town / hardly ever come here, what's good?" tack to bring out the tour guide in people. It's an easy date ask for girls ("Maybe you can show me around a bit") and a good way to meet cool guy friends and find good places to eat, drink, relax, and meet people
  • If it's available, talk to friends or guys from a seduction community in the area who know the area well. Typically there are different areas in a city different guys rate as good for pickup, and usually you are going to mesh better with some of those areas than others. For instance, the college campus, the shopping street, the upscale club area, and the dirty chaotic bar street might all be rated as great places to meet girls by various guys. But you might find the college campus and the dirty bar street are not your forte at all, while the upscale club area is okay for you, and the shopping street is really good. Typically it's best if you have a couple guys with boots-on-the-ground you can talk to because different guys have different styles and prefer different places to meet women (and different types of women outright)

For pulling, if you really want to push it to the hilt, you can travel without booking a hotel.

Then approach girls, and as the topic of where you'll be staying comes up, just mention you haven't booked anything yet and haven't figured out where you'll stay just yet. Just be very casual about it, don't put any pressure on the girl. It's not a high odds thing but if you're an attractive guy and she's excited and feels comfortable she may offer you her place. If she does, tell her "oh cool, that's really cool of you. Do you have roommates or what's your situation?" and ask a few questions to get the lay of the land before you take her up on it. No good to go to her place thinking it'll be just you and her, only for it to turn out you're crashing on the couch while her three party roommates are in and out of their rooms keeping you up all hours of the night (I mean, unless you want to party all night... and the roommates are cute and slutty).

Other fun things you can do:

  • Go somewhere completely different each day you're in town. Keeps the city fresh and gives you a completely anonymous place to approach each time (minimal "I'd better not screw up" pressure)
  • Book a hotel or apartment in the heart of the place you hear is best to pick up at. Maybe that's a shopping street, maybe it's a club. Find a hotel/apartment above or across the street from it if possible. Makes logistics very, very easy so you can just walk outside, chat up a girl, then tell her "Hey, wanna come up?" and it's all so easy and natural
  • Be about 70/30 "pickup now vs. phone numbers for later" in focus. You're mostly out for an instant date or same-night pull, but you'll take contact info from girls it isn't happening with today to follow up with later. However, you move on quickly from those girls if they aren't immediately available, and focus on trying to find a girl for right now
  • Hostels are good, since you get girls on travel, many of whom just want an experience and are not around anyone who knows them so can do whatever they want. Even if you're at the point where you're "too old for hostels" you can still pick up in the hostel area and find traveler girls who are down for a new experience. If you have a nice hotel or apartment that can be a plus; "Hey, let's get you out of that grubby hostel. You can come relax in luxury for a bit" --> even if it's just a semi-nice apartment, it's still quiet and luxurious compared to a noisy, chaotic shared room in a hostel

Generally you also want to know where there's a little liquor store so you can grab drinks on your way to your place if you don't have any. Or you can just throw a bottle of whatever alcohol in your room. Makes it easy to say you've got drinks.

If you get girls who ask for specific drinks ("What do you have? I want to drink gin! I'm not coming over unless you have gin!") and you don't have that drink but have something else, just deflect: "Um, yeah, good question. I'm not sure what that is. I've got a bottle of something with alcohol in it, but I dunno. It could be gin. Come on, let's go find out."

Also... I view this as fairly important. Make a big push to meet girls and if possible shag a new girl fast on traveling to a new place. It's not hard to meet women and it's not that hard to sleep with new women if you're hustling on a visit to a new town. And it makes a HUGE huge difference. Your first few days in town will have a big impact on whether you view a city as a.) a place with friendly women or not, b.) a place where women are EASY for you or not, c.) a place where cold approach is viable, d.) a place you're happy you came to. If you meet three really cool girls your first day and shag one of them the next day, you're going to think a place is great, even if the guys who live there tell you it's not that great for game. Conversely if you go spend two weeks in a place and don't do any approaching, the mind can start to tell itself "There's no women here" "I can't meet girls here" even if in reality it's one of the easiest places to meet women in the world (and you just haven't approached).

First few days, hustle hard if you want to set a good foundation. Oftentimes the mind locks its impression of a place pretty quick and that can be difficult to change. Try to start off on the right foot and you'll give yourself some positive momentum in a place that you can then tap into every time you revisit that place, or whenever you visit similar places.

Also relevant: The Single Guy's Guide to Starting Fresh in a New City

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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Brandon » Mon Nov 12, 2018 9:02 am

Lot of gold in Chase's post.

One thing I will caution against though is...

Gaming in other country's gave me a warped/incorrect view of my skill level.

I had kickass success when I traveled to South America(2 same day lays, many lays on the first date, it was awesome)

Yet now I'm in NYC and althoguh I have no fear of approaching, moving things forward etc, I lack fundamentally in other things.

When I don't have the novelty, I struggle greatly.(especially since I never went through an "arrogant confident" phase, at least not as extreme as Hector, I did become arrogant when it came to business though)
At this moment I struggle to see the patterns in my day-to-day life... I must focus my mind upon them and change this.
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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Proactivity » Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:15 pm

This thread is relatively incomplete although the advice on it is sound. The other major factor to traveling is how your look varies compared to most of the local. A white guy traveling to Brazil or Colombia has a lot more value than a white guy traveling to Sweden. Then on the other side a darker skinned guy has a much higher value in Sweden than he does in Brazil or Colombia. The western world itself is a wash though since the places are so diverse.

My theory is a bit simple here.

Women from darker skinned countries (this factors in Southern Europe) want the palest guys because they have an inferiority complex towards their appearance, they want to climb a social ladder and want their trophy western lover.

Women from pale countries are bored, they know they are white enough and they look to experiment with darker skinned men.

So when traveling, take into account where your look is a plus and where it holds you back.
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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Fuck This » Wed Nov 21, 2018 1:37 pm

I think you guys have beat the Skin tone thing to death. Give it a rest.

Regardless what you believe you are right because that is what you believe and it becomes the truth to you because you made it that way.

The focus was the fundamentals to meet women while travelling and how that is different than someone in your home town...
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Re: Why seduction is easier when you travel, and best approach

Postby Seppuku » Fri Nov 23, 2018 2:18 am

@ Chase,

Hey Chase thanks for the tips! This is now becoming a very comprehensive thread on traveling.

Notes to self:
  • Girls in airplanes and airports, I am already doing this. Asking directions and for tour guides, I definitely must do more - although it is best when you have plenty of time in the city I guess?
  • And yes, logistics I always make it easy, by either booking a hotel within 5 minutes walk from a major shopping mall, or booking a hotel which have a nice pool bar - invite for a drink there, then move to bedroom to "watch some Youtube songs".
  • Going next to a Hostel: never tried, but good idea! You'll end up picking other travelers like yourself. But then the novelty, "no social consequences", time constraints advantages are multiplied by two since she's also just passing by herself.
@Proactivity
This doesn't help, sorry. My initial post applies irrespective of skin color. But you are now trying to turn a useful contribution into another "It's all about skin color" post. We already have too much of these threads, many of them started by yourself by the way. It is one of these beliefs that are actually hold you back from better results. At least one third of the results are coming from your mindset (the rest is fundamentals, and process). Do yourself a service and work on your mindset.

@FT, thanks for helping out on this!

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