Is cold approaching dead? Here are my thoughts.

Indian Race Troll (IRT)

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For a good while, I was in the school of thought that cold approaching was dead or just an overall low return on investment. Lately, I have incorporated so much into my life in regards to dating and women that I don't really have that urge and killer instinct to want to cold approach hot girls. Online dating has spoiled the crap out of me, my hobbies provide opportunities, and social circle game is starting to slowly take off for me. In many ways, I don't need cold approach but does that mean it is dead?

Let's use a business analogy here.

In the old days, sales teams used to make cold calls to businesses, getting shut down aggressively most of the times. Eventually what happened was that businesses started to use marketing in an advanced way, social media, and even gave their sales teams tools to where they could send out large blasts of targeted emails and win some big customers for the brand. I get all of this from a friend of mines that works in sales. No more having to dial 100 times a day hoping to get someone on the phone and win their business right? You can do it all through social media, have marketing bring you "inbound leads", hope your emails make it through to them and win some business that way.

Except there is a catch, for the best opportunities, you have to make the move. You have to do what some call more of the outbound stuff.

Think about it, you're trying to get a brand name like Apple as your customer, the person making decisions there is rarely going to click on your site and show a lot of interest. Similar to how it is rare that a hot girl approaches you or matches with you on dating apps.

So lets relate this back to the dating game.

In the past months, I realized that I was getting girls who were solidly above average and cute. Due to hobbies, dating apps, and a host of other things I noticed that I got quality but it was not top tier like I wanted. The closer I approached to an 8, the more I realized that only two things were going to give me opportunities:

1. Social circle.

2. Cold approach.

Social circle might be more of a referral and it is a tough way to go about it for most guys who do not already have it. Now you are left with the infamous cold approach.

Just like in business, if you want the fanciest customers, you are going to have to go out there and chase them.

Just like in game, if you want the best quality, you have to go out there and make the move.

But at the same time, it cannot be your only method like it might have been way back.

Meaning, you cannot rely on cold approach alone if you want what is best. You have to use other avenues as well.

You have to have social awareness, some social status, and to some degree be on social media so she does not feel like she is going home with a sketchy guy who is out of touch. By just cold approaching and not working on social life, you are becoming a socially unaware guy.

Cold approach is key and important when it is done in conjunction with other methods.

When it is done on its own, it is largely ineffective.
 

ProblemSolving

Tribal Elder
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Typing from a phone so I'll keep this short. Cold approach is alive and well, and no, it does not require social status or social media to make it work.

What you do need to do is bait your hook properly. Who are the guys that your type of girl dates? Pay attention and do your best to look like them.

Next, put in the leg work (approaches) to find the available ones. Approach 30 girls that you think are hot. If you don't get at least a date with one of these girls, something is off. Honestly, you'll probably have a date long before you hit 30.

Before you write off cold approach, how many hot girls have you even asked out?
 

Richard

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Cold approaching is far from dead and really can't die, if I'm being honest.

There aren't enough guys that do it for women to get "used" to it so it's magic and power stays strong.

If you want a real world example - we've had guys on the boards who were cold approaching in just ONE location and things started to die down for them because EVERYBODY started getting used to them or knew about them. Same thing happens in smaller towns where everybody is your neighbor but to a smaller degree.

-Richard
 

Grand Pooba

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Oh Pry said:
Cold approach is key and important when it is done in conjunction with other methods.

When it is done on its own, it is largely ineffective.

Completely disagree. You're wrong, lol. Right now I am only doing cold approach (80% day game and 20% night game) in NYC and it's working very well - I usually get 2-3 numbers per day, every day. I approach 4-8 women a day.

It's actually the opposite - other methods should be supplemental to cold approach.

The problem actually is that you guys are too fucking lazy and scared to try it... ;)
 

Sub-Zero

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Those are some good ass fuckin odds lol.




Grand Pooba said:
Oh Pry said:
Cold approach is key and important when it is done in conjunction with other methods.

When it is done on its own, it is largely ineffective.

Completely disagree. You're wrong, lol. Right now I am only doing cold approach (80% day game and 20% night game) in NYC and it's working very well - I usually get 2-3 numbers per day, every day. I approach 4-8 women a day.

It's actually the opposite - other methods should be supplemental to cold approach.

The problem actually is that you guys are too fucking lazy and scared to try it... ;)
 

Rain

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Richard said:
There aren't enough guys that do it for women to get "used" to it so it's magic and power stays strong.

I was seeing a woman a few years ago, and she turned up early and I turned up late to a shopping center. In the space of 1hr, maybe a bit longer, she got approached 12x times. I don't think that's a small number, that is like once every 5x mins. Even if its 12guys per however many else where there... I dunno 50guys? in 1hr that would have walked into the shops? More, less? That's 20%. But the point is, a woman getting approached every 5x minutes, that's getting "used" to being cold approached isn't it?
 

DarkKnight

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Cold approach is the best and liberating thing that there is and luckily alive and well. You don't need instant social status or whatever when your fundamentals are on point, because those talk for themselves. They are pretty good substitutes. Social circle also has the drawback that people can cockblock you for whatever reason, or when you go for one girl other girls start autorejecting.

I usually dislike social circle game because I start to become really picky, because I know that making one choice can blow up other opportunities. However with cold approach there is no such issue. It's liberating, seriously.

I do however agree with the notion that just mass approaching, while still being better than doing nothing, can be inefficient and blow up on your face. But that's where proper game comes in.
 

Indian Race Troll (IRT)

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Online dating has given me the highest ROI of anything, coupled with good pics and all, I feel like I can above average looking women at least every other week to fuck if I wanted to. I hit the dating apps hard and it has translated to results because the intentions are so clear, we matched on a dating app, lol why else are we even meeting?

My defense for cold approaching has been that outside of social circle/lifestyle, I feel like it is one of the few ways to realistically get girls that are at the higher end of the looks spectrum, to get that girl that is close to a 10. I mean online dating is comfortable, most guys would be happy with fucking 7s every month, but it has its ceiling there.

Cold approach is more freeing but while the ceiling is high, most of the times the ground is low.

1. Most high value men rarely cold approach, they get hot girls through lifestyle and social circle game.

2. Most girls are already a bit apprehensive about being cold approached.

3. Most hot girls have social circles that are big and are a bit thrown off by bringing in a guy who is a random.

To me, cold approaching is more of a lottery. I still feel the urge to do it again but it is quite literally a lottery in most cases and the ROI is not there as much as it is with online dating and other avenues.
 

Grand Pooba

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Oh Pry said:
the ROI is not there as much as it is with online dating and other avenues.

This is only because you have practiced and gotten good at online dating. You said it yourself:

Oh Pry said:
Online dating has given me the highest ROI of anything, coupled with good pics and all, I feel like I can above average looking women at least every other week to fuck if I wanted to. I hit the dating apps hard and it has translated to results because the intentions are so clear, we matched on a dating app, lol why else are we even meeting?

It's the same reason why I suck at online dating and have gotten really good results from Day Game - because I uninstalled Tinder and CMB and all the other apps, and let myself only focus on and learn Day Game (and now, Night Game).

So it's really just a result of the avenue you practiced getting good at, and nothing else.

Oh Pry said:
My defense for cold approaching has been that outside of social circle/lifestyle, I feel like it is one of the few ways to realistically get girls that are at the higher end of the looks spectrum, to get that girl that is close to a 10. I mean online dating is comfortable, most guys would be happy with fucking 7s every month, but it has its ceiling there.

Exactly. I wrote a whole article about this: https://www.girlschase.com/content/your ... -you-girls

Oh Pry said:
1. Most high value men rarely cold approach, they get hot girls through lifestyle and social circle game.

This is why cold approach is SO POWERFUL - because when done right it represents dominance and it's very, very rare for most women to even get access to that lifestyle and social circle game. Quite simply put, most girls do not care about or get involved in the Dan Bilz type lifestyle; they'll accept it when it happens, but it's really not that common unless they're party girls and lifestyle girls (aka gold diggers). So few sexy men approach women, they eat it up when it happens.

Oh Pry said:
2. Most girls are already a bit apprehensive about being cold approached.

By un-sexy guys, yes. Even if you activate her defenses early, you can get around this by your appearance, game, and warmth.

Oh Pry said:
3. Most hot girls have social circles that are big and are a bit thrown off by bringing in a guy who is a random.

You don't meet her social circle until you're fucking and dating her, so this is irrelevant. Night game is a little different but this is also a non-issue if you're a cool, sexy guy and get along with her friends.
 

ray_zorse

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I can understand that a guy feels he has "graduated" and no longer wants to set aside hours at a time for cruising the malls and doing direct approaches, especially if his ROI from online and social is good. HOWEVER I see that as more of a beginner / intermediate way of doing things. Once you get really smooth and so accustomed to approaching that it really just feels like saying hi and being social rather than "approaching" as such, you can effectively build it into your routine: (1) talk to the first girl you see upon leaving the house (2) always be half an hour early in case you meet a hottie (3) if you see something, say something. The last is most important. You must train yourself to be unfiltered. Either it can be like "hey you look hot" when she gets on the train... or it can be more like cracking a joke to open situationally. You don't really need to force it, as often you will see funny situations and the appropriate opener will pop into your head, the trick is not to then suppress it as beta average Joe does.
cheers, Ray
 

Skjöldr

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Cold approaching is far from dead and really can't die, if I'm being honest.

There aren't enough guys that do it for women to get "used" to it so it's magic and power stays strong.

If you want a real world example - we've had guys on the boards who were cold approaching in just ONE location and things started to die down for them because EVERYBODY started getting used to them or knew about them. Same thing happens in smaller towns where everybody is your neighbor but to a smaller degree.

-Richard
Happened to me. Then, went to a new city. 2 lays in 2 days.
 

CassieDon

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IMO it depends where you do it and how you go about it. And OMD, I honestly thought this was the man, the legend... but then I saw his old name in other quotes.
 

Just a Man

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1. Most high value men rarely cold approach, they get hot girls through lifestyle and social circle game.

2. Most girls are already a bit apprehensive about being cold approached.

3. Most hot girls have social circles that are big and are a bit thrown off by bringing in a guy who is a random.

To me, cold approaching is more of a lottery. I still feel the urge to do it again but it is quite literally a lottery in most cases and the ROI is not there as much as it is with online dating and other avenues.
@Indian Race Troll (IRT)

Purely IMO: No, No and No.

1. High value men will often cold approach. I think you might be talking about flashy men. That's different.

2. Not in my experience. Where are you doing this?

3. Again, not in my experience. Yes, they have social circles that might have a large fringe (e.g. high numbers on Facebook/Instagram) but they have, like anyone else, limited time and a real social circle behind all that. So again, like any other girl who doesn't tart about on social media, they are just as interested in discreet and unaccountable lays as the next girl.
 
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