Saying you're pretty if they're not pretty



Saying you're pretty if they're not pretty

Postby Rain » Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:05 am

Hey,

Went out today and didn't do any approaches. Was wondering, is it unethical to tell someone "you're really pretty and I had to say hi" if you don't think they're pretty? Like as a warmup to get you into a social mood because maybe the fear is less when the woman is less attractive? So you need to be less brave to start off with or something like that...

Is that unethical? Is that even the best way to go about it?

I'm guessing some people do it and they don't care that they're lieing.
Talking about non sexual things with random men/women could be an alternative way to warm up, unsure if that would be the same though as that's not quite risking rejection or showing interest straight away like that opener above does.
Rain


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Re: Saying you're pretty if they're not pretty

Postby Mr.Rob » Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:16 pm

As long as the girl feels like your not patronizing her and you leave her better off emotionally ya whatever. Though women are typically good at picking up on "congruence" but may appreciate some nice convo nonetheless..

Are you still asking girls if their hair's dyed? lol Telling them they're pretty is a good step up nonetheless.

I mean if you need to go talk to the toad woman to build up some social momentum that's cool, why not just approach situation-ally or indirectly and complement something else about her that would be genuine? (cool bracelet, cool hairstyle, cool shirt, etc.) She'll get a nice ego boost from the compliment and it won't be disingenuine on your part.
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Re: Saying you're pretty if they're not pretty

Postby Rain » Fri Jan 11, 2019 12:37 pm

Lol yeah I'm trying to step up and be more direct as opposed to the hair dye thing as per your suggestion earlier. It has been a while so that may not be helping either. I might need to try and do something like 50 in day to get it where I'm less bold and more confident.

So if I compliment on something else, hairstyle, shirt etc but like... I tend to be more looks based than ornament based or cool based. It might be incongruent for me to do that unless I liked the woman I'm talking to. But even then , I'm not a bigjewellery fan or cool stuff fan.

Maybe I should do the hair dye thing and then once I get some momentum try and go direct after that. I suppose I could do the hair dye thing on toads as you call them[lol], and if their hair does look good it is techincally legit but I still wouldn't like them if I think the word toad too many times. Hmm.

I have gone direct before, unsure if it was only once, but she said she was MARRIED , not yelling but just a bit taken back so, maybe that spooked me a bit lol. So I know I can go direct, just gotta do it more times.
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Re: Saying you're pretty if they're not pretty

Postby Mr.Rob » Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:09 pm

Dude your over complicating this man. Just pick out the one thing about the toad girl you like better than the rest of her outfit and take 2 seconds to tell her "I think your shoes are pretty... anyway I'm Rain, wow look at those shopping bags I hope you left some for the other shoppers". It doesn't matter if its not 100% congruent your just getting social momentum and practice going more direct.

No ditch the dyed hair shit, that's a crutch for you. Get in the habit of going direct and once you get good at that then you can go indirect/situational. The dyed hair bit is more incongruent (i.e. "why the hell does buddy care if I dyed my hair?") than giving her a compliment on her "best accessory/clothing/hair/etc." and it will make her feel better even if you don't care that much.

Good luck friend :)
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