Strange Performance Anxiety while Masturbating

Damien

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 1, 2015
Messages
54
Hey guys,

so this is a weird issue I'm having at the moment. I've struggled with Performance Anxiety every now and then, but I always got over it with some focus on pleasure and an understanding girl. After I have succesfully cum one time during sex the thoughts are usually gone.

So I didn't have any problems for like 5 months. I even got laid 2 times recently, the last one being 4 weeks ago. So I kind of hit a dry spell (one month) at the moment, but it doesn't demotivate me I'm still going out, just a bit less feeling like "god". I also had some dates, but they didn't lead anywhere. So one sunday like 3 weeks ago I jerked off while hungover and lost my erection a couple of times because the hangover lowered my libido a lot and I had trouble getting aroused (I don't use porn, only stories). That was probably a bad idea because it triggered my performance anxiety.

So I didn't even have an active bad experience with a girl, but now after I jerked it off one time, I feel like , "I don't know if it would still work the next time", so I jerk it off again, but the feeling is still there. At some point I go to sleep. The next day I realize it's bullshit, but jerk it off anyway another time, it of course works and I am super relieved afterwards and the thoughts are gone.

The problem is the next time I masturbate like a week later the thoughts pop up again. It's like a viscious masturbation cycle, I know it sounds weird.I just want to blow off some steam once a week, but I always have to repeat it a couple of times so I don't get strange thoughts for the rest of the week. I'm still going out and trying to pick up, but I know my motivation would be a lot higher if I would do it only once instead of a couple of times on two consecutive days.

I am thinking to change my day to do it to monday when my mind is clearer and I am not hungover / tired from the weekend, but not sure that would help. It's like I need to confirm to my emotional brain everything is still working, although I think less would be better.

Any thoughts? I should probably mention I have a mild OCD so I always think abouth things too much. A good thing when it's for work / university, but in times of less things to do I always start obsessing about negative stuff, that normal people would probably ignore.
 
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