- Joined
- Oct 15, 2012
- Messages
- 33
A few years ago, I was an introvert guy whose social circle consisted of a bunch of other geek guys. I was intimidated by “cool people” and had no idea how to negotiate a social scene, especially a skilled-based one that can seem so cruel and backstabbing like Salsa.
However, armed with strong morals and online help from social masters, I was able to come up on top and establish myself to a point where I’m not scared of anyone anymore and can talk to anybody whenever I want.
I’ve come up with nine rules that I think would be universal to anybody who want to become well-liked or popular in a scene, whether its dancing or Indie rock or hip hop, etc. I’ll detail each one of them.
1. Be humble – At first and foremost, you are there to grow in the scene. Do not flaunt your successes. Downplay your achievements. Nobody likes a braggart. Let others come up with the praise and it will reward you much more.
2. Defend the innocent – We all started with little skill and a lot of passion. The good guys recognize this and defend those who have heart and passion, even if they are not there yet in terms of skill. You need to root for them, defend them and support them whenever you can, especially when they are attacked or mocked.
3. Oppose the villains – This means to avoid or go against the braggers, the liars and those who mock others. You can also jest a little about those who think they are much cooler than they actually are and don’t think they need to improve anymore or learn from anyone. You’ll be amazed at how many villains you will find in a scene. Stand your moral ground and do not become one of them, even if you find yourself surrounded by them. Just stay quiet and if they ask your opinion, just say you don’t like judging people.
4. Do not suck up – Sucking up can be very powerful when used with the right people. There are individual who get a lot of benefits off sucking up to influential people in a scene (they get good gigs, prime time for shows, free stuff, etc.). However, by doing so, they alienate themselves from everyone else who play it fair and who get cheated from the spotlight they deserve. In the end, sucking up is REALLY not worth it. It gives you short term benefits in exchange of making everyone hate you and disrespect you in the long term. Don’t do it. This does not mean you can't compliment people on their performances. You should compliment, as long as you don't overdo it. It only means don't suck up for favors.
5. Don’t be resentful – Sometimes, you will talk to somebody cool or influential and the next time you see them, they won’t remember you. Don’t take this badly. This just means that they meet a LOT of people and it’s hard to remember everyone. Try to deep dive with popular people, so they can attach a personality or something special to your face and they will remember you. Don’t avoid people because they forgot you. This is stupid. Just try again and make yourself unique by going deeper than small talk. Get to know them for who they are, not just the superficial scene stuff.
6. Be patient – Some people won’t bother to get to know you until they know you’re serious about the scene. This can take a few months of seeing you around at most events for them to know you’re not one of the many “quitters”. After that, their attitude will change and they’ll greet you when they see you, because you’re now part of their world.
7. Partake in the afterparties/late night eating out – If you stick around and talk to enough people, you will be invited to these. This is where you get to really know people. After all the random people the public and the old folks have left, the real members of the scene hang out and masks fall off. This is when following the first 4 rules is the most important. If you do it well, people who introduced you will vouch for you and will introduce you to others.
8. Keep at it – Don’t lose focus on the value you’re providing to the scene and keep working on it. Even if you don’t care about become one of the best in the scene, keep working on your skill until you start getting diminished returns and surf from there. People will start relying on you, which is a good thing if you know how to use that to your advantage (meeting cool people and pretty girls).
9. Enjoy yourself – Smile! Be in a scene where you like to hang out. If you’re not enjoying yourself, why are you there?
Follow these rules and you should become well-liked in the scene of your choice after only a few months. You don’t even have to know how to sing or play the guitar or be a good dancer. You can be the mixer/sound editor, a photograph, a sound-equipment guy, a tech guy, a clothes/costume maker, a website designer, an amateur DJ, etc., as long as you provide something to the scene, you like the scene and you enjoy being with the people.
Once it’s your world, you can bring any girl you want into it and she’ll be impressed by your social power. It’s all gravy from there.
However, armed with strong morals and online help from social masters, I was able to come up on top and establish myself to a point where I’m not scared of anyone anymore and can talk to anybody whenever I want.
I’ve come up with nine rules that I think would be universal to anybody who want to become well-liked or popular in a scene, whether its dancing or Indie rock or hip hop, etc. I’ll detail each one of them.
1. Be humble – At first and foremost, you are there to grow in the scene. Do not flaunt your successes. Downplay your achievements. Nobody likes a braggart. Let others come up with the praise and it will reward you much more.
2. Defend the innocent – We all started with little skill and a lot of passion. The good guys recognize this and defend those who have heart and passion, even if they are not there yet in terms of skill. You need to root for them, defend them and support them whenever you can, especially when they are attacked or mocked.
3. Oppose the villains – This means to avoid or go against the braggers, the liars and those who mock others. You can also jest a little about those who think they are much cooler than they actually are and don’t think they need to improve anymore or learn from anyone. You’ll be amazed at how many villains you will find in a scene. Stand your moral ground and do not become one of them, even if you find yourself surrounded by them. Just stay quiet and if they ask your opinion, just say you don’t like judging people.
4. Do not suck up – Sucking up can be very powerful when used with the right people. There are individual who get a lot of benefits off sucking up to influential people in a scene (they get good gigs, prime time for shows, free stuff, etc.). However, by doing so, they alienate themselves from everyone else who play it fair and who get cheated from the spotlight they deserve. In the end, sucking up is REALLY not worth it. It gives you short term benefits in exchange of making everyone hate you and disrespect you in the long term. Don’t do it. This does not mean you can't compliment people on their performances. You should compliment, as long as you don't overdo it. It only means don't suck up for favors.
5. Don’t be resentful – Sometimes, you will talk to somebody cool or influential and the next time you see them, they won’t remember you. Don’t take this badly. This just means that they meet a LOT of people and it’s hard to remember everyone. Try to deep dive with popular people, so they can attach a personality or something special to your face and they will remember you. Don’t avoid people because they forgot you. This is stupid. Just try again and make yourself unique by going deeper than small talk. Get to know them for who they are, not just the superficial scene stuff.
6. Be patient – Some people won’t bother to get to know you until they know you’re serious about the scene. This can take a few months of seeing you around at most events for them to know you’re not one of the many “quitters”. After that, their attitude will change and they’ll greet you when they see you, because you’re now part of their world.
7. Partake in the afterparties/late night eating out – If you stick around and talk to enough people, you will be invited to these. This is where you get to really know people. After all the random people the public and the old folks have left, the real members of the scene hang out and masks fall off. This is when following the first 4 rules is the most important. If you do it well, people who introduced you will vouch for you and will introduce you to others.
8. Keep at it – Don’t lose focus on the value you’re providing to the scene and keep working on it. Even if you don’t care about become one of the best in the scene, keep working on your skill until you start getting diminished returns and surf from there. People will start relying on you, which is a good thing if you know how to use that to your advantage (meeting cool people and pretty girls).
9. Enjoy yourself – Smile! Be in a scene where you like to hang out. If you’re not enjoying yourself, why are you there?
Follow these rules and you should become well-liked in the scene of your choice after only a few months. You don’t even have to know how to sing or play the guitar or be a good dancer. You can be the mixer/sound editor, a photograph, a sound-equipment guy, a tech guy, a clothes/costume maker, a website designer, an amateur DJ, etc., as long as you provide something to the scene, you like the scene and you enjoy being with the people.
Once it’s your world, you can bring any girl you want into it and she’ll be impressed by your social power. It’s all gravy from there.
