Flying solo at bars.

zeroman2

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
99
Hi beginner here

I begin taking steps to improve myself by going to bars and meeting women.

However the bar scene is a little hectic to me. First off I'm doing it solo I don't have a wingman. Mainly because most of my friends are either have girlfriends, don't like going out to bars, or just plain socially awkward. So as you can imagine going by myself it's a little intimidating especially when all the girls are in groups. If a girl was just by herself I'm pretty sure I can handle it. But with their groups/with their girlfriends, on top of the other guy's hitting on them it's a bit of a challenge for me.

He's just a few questions
1. Is there any other good places less hectic to meet high quality women regularly (besides colleges)
2. If not how to find a wingman.
3. And how do I get better overall when it comes to doing bars solo.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
zeroman2 said:
Hi beginner here

I begin taking steps to improve myself by going to bars and meeting women.

However the bar scene is a little hectic to me. First off I'm doing it solo I don't have a wingman. Mainly because most of my friends are either have girlfriends, don't like going out to bars, or just plain socially awkward. So as you can imagine going by myself it's a little intimidating especially when all the girls are in groups. If a girl was just by herself I'm pretty sure I can handle it. But with their groups/with their girlfriends, on top of the other guy's hitting on them it's a bit of a challenge for me.

He's just a few questions
1. Is there any other good places less hectic to meet high quality women regularly (besides colleges)
2. If not how to find a wingman.
3. And how do I get better overall when it comes to doing bars solo.


Depends on your age range. Dance clubs to me have always been a waste unless it was a dance style I was real good at, and women wanted me to teach them.

Now that I'm older, going to micro breweries and taprooms and watching sports on the tvs is a more laid back way to encounter women. It is usually quieter and less crowded. You can sit at the bar and get up and move around. You can talk with guys at the bar about the game. You can chat with the beertender. You open the women like they were one of the guys.

I think a wingman is only a help if you encounter a group of 2 or 3 girls. They can fuck you up easier than help you though. Best way is to just have a convo with a guy, and give him social proof if he is with a girl. Most guys will return the favor without a formal "wingman" agreement.

Repetition and learning from mistakes is how you get better. i'm better in my 40's than I was in my 20's for sure......
 

silenceinthesnow

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 18, 2018
Messages
57
Hey zeroman, I routinely hit bars/clubs flying solo and still do. If it is your only environment it's possibly a huge learning curve, but make sure to check your fundamentals because that's what will stand out and get you noticed.

You can meet potential wingmen by talking to people and making friends. You'll build social proof and status when girls see you talking to lots of people and are attracted to this. It'll warm you up and put you in a social mood which helps with attracting girls and making friends who will be your wingman and maybe even a wingwoman. It will improve your social circle and give you even more opportunities to meet girls.

At a club solo approaching groups of girls can be daunting but not if you use pre selection, pre open the frame and then open. Alternatively you can get approach invitations. This happens.

Typically use the numbers to work for you, a pair is usually a lost cause on your own because there's a chance they'll stick to each other like glue, but all is not lost. There's always a guy ready to pick up any spares and instantly you've got a wingman. Otherwise you're looking for trio's, two in a pair and a spare that you can enjoy the night with.

If you don't see any opportunities just go all social butterfly and approach anyway. You'll get over approach anxiety and build a lot of confidence.

SilenceintheSnow
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
By "bar" I'm guessing you're actually referring to an establishment in 'nightclub mode' after, say, 10pm or so. In that case, yeah, approaching a big group of girls by yourself in that type of setting is about as challenging as it gets. No reason to go straight to that level of difficulty. Definitely exhaust the easiest levels of difficulty first. For instance, try going to a bar... but during the day. It won't have the numbers like a packed club at midnight, but approaching will be much easier... "which team are you rooting for?" "you two go to school down the street?" etc. Much easier conversation starters and girls will be much less on guard.

I say one of the best ways to meet girls is dancing. Whatever's the most popular style in your area. Probably salsa or country. Find where they have dance nights during the week, take the class to learn, have fun, and possibly meet some girls also taking the class, but then stay for the social dance. More girls will show up then you can ask them to dance, chat with them throughout the night, and go from there.
 
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