Need help (big read)

Hey dudes

I was hanging a friend (girl) the other day she decided to call her buddy with facetime. This girl started flirting with me big time and this isn't me assuming she was because of some subtle comment or an eye wink, she literally got a fan and started fanning herself saying how i'm so hot. I loved the attention, as anyone would in that situation (who doesn't like being told that?). This went on for a good 1/2 hour and I didn't think much of it at first but I thought she was quite funny with the way she presented herself and I started to like her. I had to leave so we stopped the facetime convo and then she messaged her friend (the girl who I was hanging with) saying YOU CAN ASK MY NUMBER YOU KNOW! I wasn't really sure if I should have or not because it was a little unusual for me to get that kind of attention so I just said to my friend "give her my number, she's cool", and she just said ok and I said goodbyes then left.

Today I messaged my friend and asked if she wanted to meet up for a sushi and then also asked her friend's number. She agreed to the sushi and said "Lol she has a bf, I'll ask her and see what she says". Then all of a sudden, I felt like a brick was thrown at my head? You know, that feeling where you feel as if you are inadequate as a guy and then you think of your history with girls and it just dawns on you how dissatisfying the girl success has been? Now, I am just sitting here with that pain of feeling that way.

This was a small acquaintance was some girl that I barely knew and she was cool but for some reason, even such a minor thing is affecting me so much? My feelings have been shut down for a long time and suddenly they have come to life again and I do genuinely want to feel like a man should with the opposite sex. What I mean by that is actively meeting girls to get to that point in my life where I have a fulfilling relationship and don't feel the need to cheat. Instead I find myself longing for some girl, no standards, lack of respect for women and happy to take whatever I can get. This is sad and I don't believe this the way of a man, many men don't ever get passed this stage.

The way society is nowadays, it's all about helping women with their issues and to make things better for women. Guys don't really get any of this, guys are all expected to be tough and to be able to handle anything so expressing feelings as a guy is misperceived as weakness in a guy or inadequacy. This is not to say that I have resent towards women for this reason, but moreso that guys don't really get any sympathy for anything going wrong on their behalf and A LOT of things have gone wrong for me in my life time. Part of my screwups were because of bad decisions but most were just simple lack of motivation. So why the lack of motivation? Well it is pretty difficult to be motivated for anything in life when you do not feel like a man and you believe that it will never change. This is all down to my lack of success with women.

So to put this in perspective I'll give a little background but I'll try keep it brief:

I am now aged 32, living in UK - London. Iranian background and skin/hair/face/etc. I have no choice but to live with parents because I haven't got a good job or a place

For those of you not interested in this history, you can just skip it

- 1st gf at age 18 who was 17, white english girl -> We didn't do anything (no sex or kiss), she ended banging another guy, lasted a total of about 3-4 months
- 2nd gf was in Canada, we met online from some game, we were both aged 20 -> I went to meet her and we did everything, broke up because we just didn't get along + the stupid distance, lasted 10 months
- 3rd girl was a kind of fling, university friend who was an american chick, I was 21 she was 24 -> Good sex but that's all it was, she just suddenly cut contact after 1 month
- 4th girl was a gf who was 18 when I was 22 of oriental origin who I also met from the same game as girl 2, long distance again... - Distance just killed it and we never met, lasted 9 months
- 5th girl was very very hot, met through a friend, I was 24 and she was 23 -> Knew her for 2 months before I asked her out but the relationship lasted a week, too demanding... (no sex or kiss)
- 6th girl was a fling with a Polish mum of 2, met at university, who was supposed to break up with her husband but didn't, I was 26 and she was 35 -> I just thought it too harsh of me to interfere with a family like that so I broke it off after 3 months (no sex)
- 7th girl was a very confident girl but airhead, met on a night out, I was 26 and she was 26 -> Lasted about 3 months (no sex), I think I just got too clingy with her so she lost interest
- 8th girl was 28 when I was 27, from work - Kissed once but girl wanted to settle down an I wasn't ready for that so after 3 months it ended (no sex)
- 9th girl was probably my first proper relationship that I had (lol), I was 27 and she was 23, met on a holiday, friend of friend - Last about 18 months, we did everything but it just didn't work out in the end because of too many differences
- 10th girl had a 1-night stand with a girl from a night club aged 22 when i was 28 (I dislike clubs very much so this was a surprise)
- 11th girl was an old friend of mine and we just screwed once or twice but wasn't really a proper relation, ended after 1 month, she was 26 and i was 28
- 12th girl was 19 while i was 28, met online again... -> Too clingy, too demanding, ended after 2 months
- 13th girl was a friend who was with someone else and supposedly loved me for a long time, saying that she would break with him and be with me but could not decide in the end so we had a month of fucking and then stopped talking, I was 30

The last was 2 years ago, I have asked about 15 girls for numbers since then with no luck, either it screws up via text or they just don't show up to our meet spot and don't answer the phone then come up with some excuse later. Now, that history of girls initially looks like I've had a lot of girls but if you look at the detail, most of them were pretty insignificant towards anything. They were mostly a waste of time except for number 2 and 9, maybe number 8 too. I have had a terrible history with girls, mostly being a waste of time, or maybe I just didn't move fast enough in some cases but here I am right now, thinking that this will never change and I won't get anyone worthwhile.

I have been working on many areas of my life including:

- Addressing my career and going back to university after a dropout
- Going to therapy to address many social aspects of my life
- Fighting off addictions and getting them out of my life
- Taking care of my diet and gymming regularly
- Reducing any masturbation to eventually be 0

None of this matters if I can't meet girls though...

So where do I start?

Man, you have a great mindset. I urge you to not give up. You are at the verge of having things start "clicking"... It's good you're taking the necessary steps to better yourself and be in a better position to succeed with girls. Persist a little longer you'll start to see results.

Here's the first thing you have do if you want to get better results. It changed my life completely. Do not read this post any longer until you read the following article from start to finish, every single word: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how- ... -ever-need

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Read it? Great, let's move on. (Make sure you read it first!)

Looking back at that list, do you identify any patterns in your dating strategy?

• You only got sex from two of those girls as far as I can tell
• You tried to pursue a relationship instead of pursuing sex right away
• You became too invested in the girls who gave you any hope

Basically, the opposite of what Jerry from the article goes about his women. The article hopefully provided more context as to why that is the optimal strategy to adopt, but here's a more organic way to see it: women are the gate-keepers of sex, men are the gate-keepers of relationships.

Women will try to push sex back as much as they can in the relationship because men want to fuck them; men will try to push relationship as far back as they can while having sex. The only exception to that is if you don't have a lot of option and is willing to settle for any girl in hopes that she will give you sex (but it won't be a long, healthy relationship).

It's basically a game of who makes the other party invest more. You're trying to get her to invest by having sex asap and she's trying to have you invest by postponing it amap. But sexes respond differently to the outcome of the game.

If the man gives up to her frame, he becomes miserable and feels like a failure, as evidenced by your post. She loses all respect for him because women are looking for men stronger than they are. And even if she gets him into an relationship, it's not going to last. Lose-lose for both parties. Now, if the woman gives up to his frame and have sex fast, she feels great (and the man feels great as well). "No one was ever able to do that," she thinks, "I finally found myself a strong man!" Win-win.

Of course, every girl is going to resist having sex a least a bit because that how she weeds out the losers. And that's why both sexes feel great when it happens. The man feels as if he conquered her and she feels like a strong man just swept her off her feat, despite everything she threw at him.

Even if you're in this to marry The One, the best way to go about it is by following Jerry's approach and getting good in having sex fast with any girl. Then you'll be able to pick which one is your dream girl. Transitioning into a relationship after you fucked the girl is easier.

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So, about this FaceTime girl. Don't take what she says at face value! She's just weeding bad prospects. If that's enough to demotivate you from pursuing sex with her, then her mechanism proved to be effective. Don't pay attention to what she says, pay attention to what she does.

• Says she has a bf but proceeds to flirt with you? Take it a step further and propose a one-on-one date.
• She says it's just a friendly date but is still going out alone with you, a man, while being in a relationship with another man? Take it a step further and increase touch/sexual tension.
• She gives you shit but is reciprocating touch? Invite her home.
• She says you're not having sex tonight once there? Just playfully ignore it an continue to escalate as she lets you... and so forth.

It's a dance. She will say things to test how confident you are in your social/seducing skills. She'll mention her bf mid-date just to see how you react. She'll compare you to him. If you never take her seriously you'll communicate abundance, and women love men with options. Don't forget... it's all a big joke with the last joke being your dick entering her.

Now, she can be one of those extroverted girls who love attention and is just joking about it, but you'll never know if you never progress through the steps above. If she doesn't go out with you, well, onto to the next one. Which brings me to...

I have asked about 15 girls for numbers since then with no luck (...)

Click to expand...

That won't cut it. Especially since you're not very experienced and don't have enough reference points yet. It's a numbers game. You gotta ask way more than 15 girls to start seeing success before you can get to the point of bedding 50% of the girls you meet.

If 5% of the girls you ask out give you their number, then talk to 100 girls and get 5 numbers. Your next 100 girls will yield 8 numbers. Then 13, then 20. It's a skill that you get better the more you practice, man. Same goes for numbers -> dates and dates -> sex.

Definitively follow-up on your friend to get that number. You should've grabbed her number right away when she told you could have instead of giving your number (never do that, always get the number yourself, control your destiny) and she might go cold on you. Attraction has an expiration date. But try anyway, you've got nothing to lose.

I'd start reading about cold approaching girls on the street since you're in a great city for that and online game to keep you engaged while you don't see much result from cold approaching... it's mostly lame on my experience now, but from time to time the pick up gods will send a girl your way.

Thanks for taking the time to have a read.

I read the post about Pete, Jerry and Sue and the one about natural number exchange.

The number exchange one makes a lot of sense, I can see why I messed up in many scenarios, I didn't think about a lot of the things that were said. However, contrary to what you said, from every single girl that I asked, they all gave me their numbers, so I had 15 asks, and 15 numbers. Getting a number isn't such an issue, girls give out their numbers to not be rude to your face but then they can ignore you or just change their mind if you take long. I can fully understand why a girl would lose interest if I took long, this is a mistake that I would sometimes do. Other times it would fuck up during text exchange or they just don't turn up to the place we arrange to meet.

My approach to getting numbers is basically, meeting a girl with some sort of common interest or a common ground to make small talk. I talk for about 5-10mins and then ask "Hey do you want to grab a drink some time?" or "Hey do you wanna meet up some time?" which usually goes well. I gauge, based on the response of a person, as to whether they are interested or available and in most cases if they don't reciprocate, they are not interested so I don't continue. I find it very hard to find the time to just meet someone (usually try at work), while having some sort of common ground to speak about, while avoiding to look like I'm not doing my job properly. I am TERRIBLE AT SMALL TALK so it is hard to just cold approach without being told to fuck off or people just getting wierded out. I guess it's just a matter of practise just like you said so I'll just continue and adjust.

Now about first dates,I can't seem to even get a first date lately which is the biggest problem. I know that I take too long sometimes but other than that I think my text exchange is bad or I think I just don't set it up correctly. Rather than saying "do you want to grab a drink some time?" which leaves it open, I should really say "are you free this weekend/tomorrow night?" to make it more distinct. The problem with that is girls often say "I'm doing blahblah this weekend" then the gap becomes too big and nothing happens.

Now about the Pete/Jerry/Sue scenario, I like the idea of moving fast but sometimes if I push too much they just get put off completely because they can see what I'm after. Most girls have their guard up and just think you are in it for sex then they don't reply or they lose interest after the first date. However, girl 10 from my previous post, it wasn't exactly a date but it's the same type of thing but similar where I get the person interested and take her home (I was able to take her home because I was at university and had my own place). I don't have my own apartment yet so I can't really invite someone back... so I dunno where the fuck to do it? Do I ask to go her place or to hotel? It just seems a bit wierd.

In my previous post, the girls that I had sex with were either long-term girlfriends or fuck buddies. I had sex with girl 2, 3, 9, 10, 11 and 13. It was a lot easier because we knew each other in most of those cases. I'm not doing anymore long distance bullshit but I'm also not meeting many available girls outside.

Now the facetime girl, when I meet my friend again, I'll see what happens and try get her number. The more I think about it, I reckon my friend just thinks she is not right for me so she's purposely trying to stop me from talking to her by saying she has a bf. I'm not really the type to think there is some sort of conspiracy going on so she may well just be telling the truth. Either way, I got along with that girl, and my friend still hasn't passed over her number. I always thought of a girl having a bf as a no-go, I guess I should just adjust that.

Hey Sasan,

Welcome to the Boards. I hope you will learn a lot from us. I certainly did when I joined here in 2014.

First I'd like to say that Bid Daddy made a very useful response. Read what he wrote, and re-read it.

I want first to comment on this:

Now about the Pete/Jerry/Sue scenario, I like the idea of moving fast but sometimes if I push too much they just get put off completely because they can see what I'm after. Most girls have their guard up and just think you are in it for sex then they don't reply or they lose interest after the first date.

Click to expand...

Yet I know from my own experience that a girl WILL follow you to the bed within a couple hours of facetime, when done right. When you do it right, they don't feel "Oh he's in here for the sex". Instead, they feel "woooooow this guy is sooo sexy".

Understand this: Men pursue sex, women pursue relationships. That is what they do. That is what they are EXPECTED to do. That's what we were designed by Nature to do. You should absolutely pursue sex. That's what men do. If you go on a date and it doesn't feel like you are pursuing sex, I can assure you that you will end up in the "just friends" box faster than that. Because she will not think of you as a real man. So embrace your masculine nature with both arms, pursue sex and be proud of it.

And even if you want to be on a relationship with her (which is absolutely OK), let her play her part and let her chase for the relationship... after you had sex. And then decide if you will give it to her, or not. How great is that: YOU are the one in position to decide.

But now, if she feels "Oh he's in here for the sex", it means you came across as creepy. It is fixable, because it is all about how you communicate to her.

Woman psychology 101. You have two women in her. The first is the conscious, social woman. She is the logical one, subject to her culture and education. The second is the instinctive, primordial woman. Completely wildly sexual. But also largely unconscious.

The social woman is the one who will tell you that she is not a slut, doesn't go to bed before date 4, that good girls "don't do that" etc... She's the one who is worried about what will people think of her, and how she will be judged.

The instinctive woman is the one with the urge to fuck you. She's the one who will throw the shit tests at you to see if you are "the real deal". This one also doesn't bother what good girls should, or shouldn't do.

When you communicate to her, you need to communicate to both levels in her. Your direct, logical communication will go to the social woman. But all your "sub-communication", the non verbal one, coming from your voice tone, your body language, your sexy smile and winks, your touch, etc... are going to the instinctive woman and telling her "I want to fuck you. I can handle you".

If you come across as creepy, "oh he's only here for the sex", it means your message went to the wrong part in her: the social woman. You are hitting her "Anti Slut Defenses". To the social woman, you should say "it is all fine". The sexual message should go to the instinctive woman.

When you manage to say "I want to fuck you" to her unconscious, primitive woman part, she will become aroused, highly excited and ready to follow you.

That's how you get her to have sex in a non creepy way.

Once you had sex, do not say or imply anything about getting in a relationship. Let her chase for it, and decide to give it to her, or not.

**************

Now about the girl. As far as understand, she didn't tell you herself that she has a BF. You learned it from your mutual female friend.

Girls are not like men on this respect. They usually don't go single first, then look for a BF. No. What they do is that they hang with the current BF, even if they want to leave, until a better prospect comes by. Then they will "forget" about mentioning the BF, and let him hit on her. When all is good, she will change ships.

So if she didn't mention explicitly about a BF, you're all good! Just ignore and go for it.

God, the number of girls who "forgot" about mentioning the BF to me. And just talking about the cases where I know for sure there was a BF. When you become good at seduction, you will end up fucking many other guys' girlfriends without even knowing it.

The situation is different when she actually tells you to your face that she has one. (Not your current case as I understand). The reality is, she may, or may not, have a BF. Her mentioning a BF to you is meant as a barrier. It can either be a test, or actually a way to tell you to fuck off. The way to go is to persist a little. If she's still defensive, move on to another prospect.

Here you go! In short:

1. Ignore the BF
2. Go for the sex.
3. After you had sex, let her chase for a relationship and decide.

Seppuku

Hey dudes

I haven't posted in a while, you know how it is - job/uni/gym keeps me busy and sometimes a lack of availability of girls in general. Anyway I thought I'd post here and update as to where I am instead of opening multiple threads and use this as a sort of progress report so I can compare where I was to where I am.

Big Daddy said:

Man, you have a great mindset. I urge you to not give up. You are at the verge of having things start "clicking"... It's good you're taking the necessary steps to better yourself and be in a better position to succeed with girls. Persist a little longer you'll start to see results.

Here's the first thing you have do if you want to get better results. It changed my life completely. Do not read this post any longer until you read the following article from start to finish, every single word: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how- ... -ever-need

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.
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Read it? Great, let's move on. (Make sure you read it first!)

Looking back at that list, do you identify any patterns in your dating strategy?

• You only got sex from two of those girls as far as I can tell
• You tried to pursue a relationship instead of pursuing sex right away
• You became too invested in the girls who gave you any hope

Basically, the opposite of what Jerry from the article goes about his women. The article hopefully provided more context as to why that is the optimal strategy to adopt, but here's a more organic way to see it: women are the gate-keepers of sex, men are the gate-keepers of relationships.

Women will try to push sex back as much as they can in the relationship because men want to fuck them; men will try to push relationship as far back as they can while having sex. The only exception to that is if you don't have a lot of option and is willing to settle for any girl in hopes that she will give you sex (but it won't be a long, healthy relationship).

It's basically a game of who makes the other party invest more. You're trying to get her to invest by having sex asap and she's trying to have you invest by postponing it amap. But sexes respond differently to the outcome of the game.

If the man gives up to her frame, he becomes miserable and feels like a failure, as evidenced by your post. She loses all respect for him because women are looking for men stronger than they are. And even if she gets him into an relationship, it's not going to last. Lose-lose for both parties. Now, if the woman gives up to his frame and have sex fast, she feels great (and the man feels great as well). "No one was ever able to do that," she thinks, "I finally found myself a strong man!" Win-win.

Of course, every girl is going to resist having sex a least a bit because that how she weeds out the losers. And that's why both sexes feel great when it happens. The man feels as if he conquered her and she feels like a strong man just swept her off her feat, despite everything she threw at him.

Even if you're in this to marry The One, the best way to go about it is by following Jerry's approach and getting good in having sex fast with any girl. Then you'll be able to pick which one is your dream girl. Transitioning into a relationship after you fucked the girl is easier.

Click to expand...

Now I have followed the advice and started moving faster with my approach and the results are promising although nothing yet, I can quickly sift out who's not available before wasting time.

I met an older chick (40+, hot though) at the coffee shop the other day and she looked at me in a certain way so I started talking to her and after a few mins we exchanged numbers. I started texting her the next day and invited her out on Saturday. We met at a high street, walked around for a bit then sat and ate then went for drinks. We talked for about 3h, and there was a bit of flirting at first (touching each others' biceps/hair etc) but then it just became general conversation. Now I could keep up a convo no problem and get her talking etc but there was no.... how do I say, my primal instincts were suppressed because I feel I like I don't really no how to do it anymore without being rapey? You know the vibe you give to a girl to say that you want fuck them silly? I somehow just couldn't do it lol...

Seppuku said:

Yet I know from my own experience that a girl WILL follow you to the bed within a couple hours of facetime, when done right. When you do it right, they don't feel "Oh he's in here for the sex". Instead, they feel "woooooow this guy is sooo sexy".

Understand this: Men pursue sex, women pursue relationships. That is what they do. That is what they are EXPECTED to do. That's what we were designed by Nature to do. You should absolutely pursue sex. That's what men do. If you go on a date and it doesn't feel like you are pursuing sex, I can assure you that you will end up in the "just friends" box faster than that. Because she will not think of you as a real man. So embrace your masculine nature with both arms, pursue sex and be proud of it.

And even if you want to be on a relationship with her (which is absolutely OK), let her play her part and let her chase for the relationship... after you had sex. And then decide if you will give it to her, or not. How great is that: YOU are the one in position to decide.

But now, if she feels "Oh he's in here for the sex", it means you came across as creepy. It is fixable, because it is all about how you communicate to her.

Woman psychology 101. You have two women in her. The first is the conscious, social woman. She is the logical one, subject to her culture and education. The second is the instinctive, primordial woman. Completely wildly sexual. But also largely unconscious.

The social woman is the one who will tell you that she is not a slut, doesn't go to bed before date 4, that good girls "don't do that" etc... She's the one who is worried about what will people think of her, and how she will be judged.

The instinctive woman is the one with the urge to fuck you. She's the one who will throw the shit tests at you to see if you are "the real deal". This one also doesn't bother what good girls should, or shouldn't do.

When you communicate to her, you need to communicate to both levels in her. Your direct, logical communication will go to the social woman. But all your "sub-communication", the non verbal one, coming from your voice tone, your body language, your sexy smile and winks, your touch, etc... are going to the instinctive woman and telling her "I want to fuck you. I can handle you".

If you come across as creepy, "oh he's only here for the sex", it means your message went to the wrong part in her: the social woman. You are hitting her "Anti Slut Defenses". To the social woman, you should say "it is all fine". The sexual message should go to the instinctive woman.

When you manage to say "I want to fuck you" to her unconscious, primitive woman part, she will become aroused, highly excited and ready to follow you.

That's how you get her to have sex in a non creepy way.

Click to expand...

It's this. This used to come to me naturally but for some reason, I dunno how to do it now? I always give the wrong message, which is "I am just a sex hungry loser". How do you get passed this?

Personally, what held me back from kissing her lips was because I liked her somewhat and she was older and more respectable and I didn't want to get the response to say "wtf are you doing... we are just friends..."

I don't know how to get passed this. All my guy friends were like, why didn't you just escalate sooner and ask to go to her place? My answer was: Idk, it didn't feel right and I don't think she saw me in that way. Now idk if this is true or it's just my shitty lack manhood.

Personally, what held me back from kissing her lips was because I liked her somewhat and she was older and more respectable and I didn't want to get the response to say "wtf are you doing... we are just friends..."

Click to expand...

Yeah, this is the hardest part imo. There's really only one way to find out: make a move. Over time you'll start to see signals more clearly.

Three hours talking is a bit too much. At some point during the convo you should "seed" the pull so it feel natural afterward e.g. "I can't believe you didn't watch The Matrix! Oh my god, we ought to remedy that asap!" so you suggest you head back to watch The Matrix 15 min later when the convo is getting hotter and you feel like if you continue talking, it's gonna cool down again ("normal topics" as you said). It can be a cool hobby you're interested in, art, music, or some pictures about a trip you talked about.

One suggestion though, don't try to kiss them during the date. Try to move her to her place, your place, a car, etc. Basically, a secluded location where you can fuck her after you kiss, otherwise the likelihood of your make out ending in sex is very low. If she agreed to come to your place alone with you, a younger healthy single male, she knows what's on, so you can rest assured the possibility of sex has at least crossed her mind by now... so it's easier to just assume attraction. This is as clear of a signal as it gets.

Big Daddy, you are a great help, thank you for contributing to this post.

What the fuck do you do if the girl says "Sorry I don't drink". Like what?????

Unfortunately I failed with this girl, there will be no round 2. I texted her, asked how she's doing and she using the words "I'm busy with" in too many texts which means it's game over. Before we met, she'd initiate convo and want to talk instead of giving reasons to not responding or talking. I thought it's best to just delete her texts and number to move forward instead of waiting on her to initiate.

Anyway, what I take away from this is:

1) I didn't plan my logistics well enough (honestly thought she wouldn't even turn up), by logistics I mean, what we are doing, where we are going, time frame, etc
2) Spent way too long talking about shit and not flirting
3) Was maybe a bit too nervous to flirt effectively
4) No real game plan as to how I'd get her to a secluded place (she lives alone so we could have gone there, I don't live alone)

As for kissing on the date, I'll bear that in mind for next time.

I find it hard to forget and try again after a long time of dryness. Every time this happens, it just reinforces that I am not a man. It's a painful process. The thing is, I couldn't give less of a fuck about the girl herself, it's just self-affirmation that's screwing me so hard. I know there are a ton of guys who are in this same situation, probably worse. How do you deal with such a thing?

Sasan said:

What the fuck do you do if the girl says "Sorry I don't drink". Like what?????

Click to expand...

"Let's go grab a coffee, then." Depending on the case I may flirt a little bit, "are you trying to show your good girl side to me? OK, I'll bite for now... Let's go grab a coffee."

Yeah, when you fail to move fast you almost never will have a 2nd chance. About your points:

1) Make it as easy as possible on yourself. Have a preferred location, drink, time, "pull excuse" beforehand and just repeat it ad infinitum until you get a good foundation. It may seem repetitive but it'll only appear to be so to you, nobody else will ever know.

4) Yeah if you can't pull home you gotta always try to figure out her logistics asap, and you can do so without looking unnatural. For instance, ask her if she likes to travel; if she says yes -> "you seem like a very independent girl. Do you live alone too?" if she says no -> "haha, not on the adventurous side, yeah? It can be awesome to do something crazy every once in a while, gotta do it before you're 60. But do you live with roommates or at least that you can do alone?" Pay attention that even in a negative outcome (under the light that you want to isolate her, that is), I try to seed something that will be beneficial in the future, ESPECIALLY if she gets to agree with you when you makes remarks like this all date long.

Always have a plan B regardless, when I couldn't pull home I'd always drive to this secluded spot in a parking lot and get down to business. If you are relatively certain you're gonna fuck or have some money to spare, you can get reservation at a hotel near the date location and say they're renovating your place so you're staying at this hotel for a couple of days. Some hotels even let you cancel at no cost. I did this twice and it worked (unfortunately, not for my pocket). Or you can get an AirBnB and pretend it's yours/from a friend.

Man, it sucks, but you gotta realize it will happen until you get to the absolute top. You level up but if you intend to keep progressing you'll always desire that girl that's slightly out of your reach and you'll be bummed when you fuck up because they're still an scarce resource for you at the time. When they are no longer are scarce you naturally will stop caring, but then the even hotter girls will still drive you mad.

Right now any lost opportunity will make you go nuts if you're not meeting women regularly, so the only remedy is to double down and try to meet as many as possible OR to dedicate yourself to bettering your fundamentals (fashion, body, etc). Personally, I think making gains in the gym is a great way to forget about it. Another great way is to enroll in a class (say, dance) because the instructor will motivate you.

Big Daddy said:

Man, it sucks, but you gotta realize it will happen until you get to the absolute top. You level up but if you intend to keep progressing you'll always desire that girl that's slightly out of your reach and you'll be bummed when you fuck up because they're still an scarce resource for you at the time. When they are no longer are scarce you naturally will stop caring, but then the even hotter girls will still drive you mad.

Right now any lost opportunity will make you go nuts if you're not meeting women regularly, so the only remedy is to double down and try to meet as many as possible OR to dedicate yourself to bettering your fundamentals (fashion, body, etc). Personally, I think making gains in the gym is a great way to forget about it. Another great way is to enroll in a class (say, dance) because the instructor will motivate you.

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I'm not meeting women that often that are interested. When I do, I usually get the number 80% of the time and when I do, it's very hard to set up a meet because the texting somehow just fucks up either a slow reply or uninterested reply or they just flake on the day and then sometimes one of them agrees to meet up. I get barely any experience at all. It seems like a waste of time almost because the effort I put in doesn't pay off at all.

I met another girl 3 weeks ago, we were pretty good on the day, small talk then I just go to her as she's leaving and look her in the face, smile and say "do you want to meet up some time? Just me you" and she was good with it so we exchange. I text, then she replies a week later:

"Sorry I was busy with blabla, how are you?"

Seems a bit wierd but we started talking anyway then I try set up a meet and she kinda goes quiet and becomes resistant. This is normal so I push a bit more and she just doesn't really respond so I call and no answer so I leave it. Nothing happened that night. So I texted the next day and she replied once then not again. Then 2 weeks later she messages me "how are you? sorry I have been super busy etc etc" so I message her and say I'm good what you up to? No reply for like 12h. It's such a waste of time but I only see it that way because I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know what to do in these situations or when to cut loose.

Another girl I met a few days ago, not that interesting but she was ok. She was not bad looking so I asked to meet at the end, got her number. This is another thing, my standards are slowly dropping lower and lower for girls, I'm looking at 4s and 5s and sometimes 3/10. She said she's super busy, which I believe is true based on what she said but I am almost 100% that when I arrange to meet her next week (yes I know I should meet ASAP but this is the earliest I can manage) that she will likely not meet up. Just so you know, this is a 3/10 pushing a 4 so I don't think she is meeting a lot of guys. Everything I try, I just seem to get stuck, I am determined to keep trying because I got nothing to lose so I will not stop. Most of the time I don't know what I'm doing wrong though. I can even post the series of texts on here with that girl from 3weeks back but it doesn't make much difference.

Is all this shit normal? Seems like so much hassle

So what I do at the moment:

1) I have a job working 3 days per week Tues, Weds, Thurs - This is pretty much where I meet all girls
2) I have university part time with lectures on Mon, Fri, Satur - Mostly guys or married women
3) Lots of gym

I guess I can do some more