The Postgrad Life



The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Mon Sep 10, 2018 6:47 pm

So yesterday I approached one girl and told her I thought she was cute. The world didn’t end which was nice. She seemed to like me but was on her way to work. Should have walked with her.

Today I gave a compliment to a girl. She said thanks and smiled but walked faster ahead.

At least I was decisive and didn’t think myself out of it. But I have been doing that too much. I feel like I’m not playing to win so I have to change that. I’m being so timid because I expect the girl to go crazy on me. Also have to increase my numbers.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Wed Sep 12, 2018 9:49 pm

Setting some goals for tomorrow: Talk to three girls on the way to work, and talk to 5 girls in total during the day/night.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Thu Sep 13, 2018 9:47 pm

So talked to two girls in the morning, and three girls on the way back. Pretty happy I was able to meet a number goal.

So the first girl I opened, I told her I thought she was stylish. She looked me over, and had an expression like "why is this guy talking to me". Based off the other interactions, I think the style choice I went with today was not a good one. Blue jeans, black desert boots, grey t-shirt, with a brown/dark-brown leather jacket over it.

Second approach went better. I can't remember exactly what I said, so I'm thinking that maybe I wasn't present enough, so maybe the approach came off as insincere.

Third approach was after work. Saw a black girl with an amazing body. Went up to her, and gave her a sincere compliment, telling her that I thought she looked stunning. She seemed happy with the compliment, but neutral, slightly inclined towards disinterested. I definitely think my style was off, and that my voice was not as chesty as it should have been. She was playing pokemon go, which I should have utilized better since I know the game well and have played it a lot. Would have been a solid connection move. Couldn't get past small talk or get her to hook. I think part of it is that I'm still rusty, so I need to just keep at it.

Fourth girl was probably the best conversation. Told the girl I liked her style, which I did. She seemed happy. We talked, she had an Albanian name. At the end of the block she says that it was nice to meet me, so I think she was just being polite the entire time. Ah well, will improve tomorrow.

Fifth approach was a girl in a white dress. Told her she looked really elegant in it. She was happy about the compliment, but immediately moved forward and left.

So I think I need to be more authoritative with my approaches, and stop and stand still. That might bring some unconscious investment on her part if she stops with me. Other things to focus on are making the conversation more light and fun, and less small talk and boring. Also will keep this style choice in mind. I think I look best in dress shirts on contrasting color pants.

Overall, very happy with today since I proved that I could approach. I've been feeling super down the last week because I haven't been able to get myself to approach. I think for me the first approach of the day is just absurdly difficult, mentally. After that I have a much easier time.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:52 pm

Another happy day.

So I only approached 4 girls (on the way back from home, none on the way to). The first two were girls I just gave compliments to, and then they walked off. I was thinking to myself and I realized that my vibe was probably off. I was not feeling very good inside, so that was probably coming across in how I spoke. As a result of not feeling good, I wasn't being bold, and I was just letting the girl leave the conversation instead of actively leading it.

So I was walking and I saw a girl I really liked. Face was okay, but she was wearing a low cut top, and I'm a real sucker for that. I tried approaching her, but she ran into a friend, so I pretended to veer off. She then walked into a food place and I was about to call it quits, but decided to just wait to see if she was just picking something up, which she was. I told her I really liked her style and that I thought she looked beautiful in her outfit, and then I introduced myself. She seemed happy. I tried talking a little, but she wasn't giving anything back, I should try to be more warm, and make the conversation more light. But she said she had a boyfriend too, so maybe that's why she didn't hook.

The last girl I walked next to her and told her I thought she was cute. I introduced myself, and we started talking. This went a lot smoother, but I need to focus more on my voice. It still isn't where I want it to be. But we had a nice conversation. Didn't flirt as much as I would have liked. But at the end I asked if she wanted to grab a coffee and she said yes. So she gave me her number. I sent her a text saying: "Hey ______! Great to meet you today-save my number ;) -yash". She hasn't replied to that, but she has a high school friend visiting, so maybe she is just busy. Either way, I'll text her again on Wednesday and see if she'll reply then. Regardless of the outcome, I still feel really good since this is one step above just approaching. I can feel my comfort increasing and I know it's only a matter of time until I'm back where I was at the end of last summer.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:43 pm

So annoyed with myself for the last few days. Haven’t done any approaches. Not going to let myself come home tomorrow unless I approach 5 girls.

In happier news, the girl whose number I got responded to me a few days late. Glad I didn’t hit her up again. She seems busy and told me as much when I met her. Going to send her a text on Thursday to try and plan something.

Also noticed more glances coming my way. I’ve lost a few pounds since coming here, and my blow dryer came so I can style my hair. Got to start capitalizing on it now.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Thu Sep 20, 2018 7:52 pm

So failed miserably at that yesterday. Couldn’t work up the nerve to talk to anyone.

Today went out and managed to talk to 3. First one I stuttered out like a child searching for his mommy. Second one was better, went up and gave a compliment. She seemed receptive and British but her voice sounded old to me and I have no idea nor excuse for why I exited that. Last one was this Swedish girl. She seemed very positive to my compliment (I’m finding that telling girls that I think they are cute works best for me, but small sample size). Fairly close to the beginning she tells me she has a boyfriend, but I genuinely like her personality so I keep talking to her. We have a solid conversation and I think I deep dive well while exuding positive energy. She seemed to like me but I’m not going to try anything as long a boyfriend is in the picture. We swapped contact info and she seems down to meet and introduce me to her Swedish friends (also I officially love Swedish girls, she’s the first one I’ve met). I texted her and intro and she texted back saying I brightened up her walk home.

I think it’s going to take a lot of effort every day to find my testicles again. Onward.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby fog » Thu Sep 20, 2018 7:53 pm

yo dawg you in NYC?

you down to daygame if i come visit?
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sat Sep 22, 2018 8:56 am

Very miffed at dating apps. Had one match on tinder where the girl and I seemed to get along and we had set a date to grab coffee, but she unmatched me last night and I don’t know why. Same thing happened on bumble with a different girl. Clearly something about my online game is not good.

Approached two girls yesterday, first one I should have kept going because I think I could have. But I exited after complimenting. I really need to stop doing that. Second one I tried talking but the girl put the headphones back in while I tried talking to her.

At night I went to a friends party but all the girls were married. Made some friends though.

It’s the weekend so hopefully I can do some massive amounts of approaching. Also going to get a gym membership because I really need to improve my fundamentals.

I also need to lower my standards. I’m using the girl not being amazingly attractive as an excuse to not appear girls who are just cute.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sat Sep 22, 2018 3:38 pm

Worked out today, and then spent a few hours walking around midtown and east village. Only managed to approach 4 girls. As per usual, I couldn't get myself to keep a conversation going. I need to figure out how to hook girls, and how to get rid of this anxiety. Also a lot of the girls here seem to go in pairs, which I haven't figured out how to approach. On the bright side, had one decently long conversation with a girl. Didn't go for the number, since I wasn't feeling the vibe.

Also, all the girls I'm approaching seem a lot older than me. I feel that it's partly because I can't tell people's age, so I'm really scared of going up to someone younger than 18. Also for some reason, girls in college just seem scarier to approach (maybe because I have a latent fear of a damaged reputation, even though I don't go to college anymore). Either way, need to get over it.

First girl, I gave a compliment and that was it. Second girl was extremely negative to my compliment, in the behavior and tone, even though she said thanks. Third girl I talked to for a few blocks, but the feeling wasn't there. Last girl said she wasn't interested right off the bat of me giving a compliment.

I'm thinking the fashion choice I made today wasn't the best. I definitely need to improve fashion fundamentals and increase the amount of muscle. Right now I'm trying to lose some of my excess fat, but still going to lift and try to eat the right balance to lose fat and gain muscle at the same time.

The things I'm going to focus on for the next few outings are assuming attraction, and hooking. I have got to start engaging in longer conversations. Part of that will be from assuming attraction and that the girl will want to meet me.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sat Sep 22, 2018 10:17 pm

I went out by myself tonight for about an hour. Opened one girl on the roof indirectly by asking about the roof. She was very touchy with me, and she was fairly attractive, though much older than me. I was good with touch, which I usually am when a girl reacts positively to me. There were a couple of windows where I could have inserted some sexual innuendo but I couldn’t think of anything/didn’t have the balls to say. She went to the bar and kind of stroked my chest in a cat-like fashion. I should have asked her to buy me a drink, it would have been a huge compliance boost and would have planted her in the chasing frame. Didn’t think of it fast enough.

Me not being one for waiting on a girl, I walked around a bit. I locked eyes with this one girl and opened her group. It was super erratic and a bad open overall, but I think I recovered well enough. They all were saying they were strippers which I assume was a joke based on their behavior so I made some jokes about me being a terrible stripper.

I’m noticing that I do better with older girls, which is bumming me out because I really do want to get girls who are closer to my age. Will keep trying.

The validation is always appreciated though.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sun Sep 23, 2018 6:27 pm

So I've been watching a lot of day game videos plus GirlsChase videos. And the state I'm in currently is that I really want this. That's good, because I feel like my wanting of it has gone down because of the year I spent away from everything. Getting back into the game has been difficult.

The goals I'm setting for myself this week are as follows:
1) Assume attraction and brace for success. I've realized that a lot of my approaches have probably failed because I'm internally bracing for failure. That cannot happen anymore, and the solution is to assume attraction, and be more authoritative.
2) Approach more. I have to reach the point where I meet 10 new women a day. I was watching Daniel Blake, and he correctly pointed out that some guys (like me) go out for hours and only talk to 4 girls. He calls it a gay walk. No more gay walks for me.
3) Be more flirty and fun. Smile more, laugh more, and take things less seriously. If it's not a big deal to me, then it won't be a big deal to her.

If I can successfully and intelligently work on these, I think I'll see a huge difference in my results this week. I'm also going to start working from home from coffeeshops and other public places, so hopefully I'll be able to get some approaches through those.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Tue Sep 25, 2018 8:47 am

Two approaches yesterday but I really only had half an hour. The first one went really well. I opened warmly and honestly and we had a solid conversation. If I can make more approaches like this I’ll be golden. The second one felt robotic as I was doing it and I think the girl realized it so she walked off.

I worked out yesterday and also had my first salsa class.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Mon Oct 01, 2018 8:59 pm

So a great day today.

I was working in a coffee shop and this cute girl asked me to open her Advil. I assumed it was an invitation to talk and we talked for a few minutes. Did some good conversation with some deep diving. Asked for her number and whether she was down to get a coffee on Thursday. She seemed down. Texted a fun text this evening and no response yet. So turns out she is in a relationship, but glad I assumed attraction and went for it.

Also approached a german girl directly. I was really assertive and dominant (relative to before). I moved her and she complied. I deep dived and connected a little. She’s only here for a few days. So I said she probably would be too busy to grab drinks but then she says that she might be down. So I grab her number and I text her a few hours later. She replies saying it was nice to meet me too. I text her asking if she is down for Wednesday so let’s see. Seeing how she’s only here a few days, if we go out there are only a few ways it can end. I also touched her a little bit. So she texts me back saying if she finishes everything she wants to in nyc then she’s for sure down. And that she’ll let me know. Pretty neutral/low investment response but we’ll see what happens.

In my salsa class there’s this one girl who is gorgeous. I talked to her a bit and because she was my partner at some points we got a little physical contact. I feel like I caught her looking at me a few times so I’ll ask her out next week. She literally looks like Rachel mcadams, but Latina.

Super excited at the results today. Even if the number don’t pan out, this was definitely a step in the right direction.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Thu Oct 04, 2018 7:59 am

3 approaches yesterday. For me the first approach is always the hardest. I spent an hour trying to do one, and then belted out three in 15 minutes after.
First approach was okay. I saw her in a coffee shop and then pretended to browse for a few. As I was leaving I gave her a compliment. I think I was nervous. I asked if I could sit next to her for a bit, but she said no. I should have pushed and said it was only for a few minutes.

Second girl I gave a compliment. She said thanks but refused to shake my hand so I bailed on that.
Last girl was a stunner, and I told her she looked amazing. She was engaged, but I played it cool and we talked a little.

Need to approach more. I don’t think I’ll see real growth until I hit 10 approaches in a day.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Thu Oct 04, 2018 9:25 pm

Talked to two girls today. Was planning to do more, but it started raining, so I went home. Got off the train and saw that the rain had stopped. First girl, I opened by telling her she was cute. We had a conversation for about a block, and then she left. I wasn't really feeling it, but I think I should still try and go for the close.
Second approach the girl tells me her husband is like three feet away, I look over, and tell her he's a lucky guy. I think I should have tried asking whether he was the type of guy to beat me up for giving her a compliment. That seems like the more interesting thing to say.

After that I went and worked out for about an hour.

One new thing I'm going to implement is to do one approach every 10 minutes after I head home from work. It feels less intense than having a set number to do. I tried it today, and it worked really well for me.

On to tomorrow.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sat Oct 06, 2018 9:20 pm

2 more approaches today. The 10 minute rule is working well for me, and I think I'm going to stick with it.

The major thing I need to do is keep the interaction going. The first girl I opened, introduced myself, and she introduced me, and I could have gone into a tangent about her name, but didn't, and exited the conversation instead.
Second girl was walking by and seemed happy with the conversation, but said she was running late to something. I should have pushed and joked with her telling her to let me steal just a minute of her time.

Next time.

Got a bartending gig tomorrow, so going to try and get a side hustle going there, plus would be solid as a way to meet others.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Mon Oct 08, 2018 7:58 am

Super busy weekend. Yesterday approached three girls. First was this Korean girl that didn’t speak much English. She ejected after communication between us broke down. Second was a Chinese girl. We talked for a few blocks but she was leaving the same night so there was no chance since I had other stuff to do in the afternoon. Did a bartending gig and people really liked my drinks so hopefully can make that something I do semi regularly. Approached one Croatian girl in the evening but I think she didn’t like me or I came off badly because she ran off fast.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Mon Oct 08, 2018 8:46 pm

Was taking the train in the morning, and this random dude was being weird. This girl made eye contact with me and we made exasperated faces to each other. We exited at the same stop, and as we got off I turned to her and said “It’s always an adventure” and she seemed super excited to agree. Talked for a bit and introduced myself. Talked a bit but did a bad job of deep diving and connecting. Still, not a bad approach.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:53 pm

Two approaches today. First one she responded warmly, and we talked for about a block. I’m having trouble keeping the conversation going and being an overall interesting and attractive individual. I keep emphasizing that I’m not approaching enough, which I think is one thing. The other is that I’m not relating enough to her as a person. So what might be a totally receptive girl is getting turned off because clearly I’m not listening and responding to what she’s saying.
Second girl yelled sorry in the middle of my opener and ran off. Since this has never happened to me before, I’m going to assume this was her being scared or jaded or paranoid. Will have to keep an eye on it to see if it happens again.
Taking some action soon to improve myself, so stay tuned.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:06 am

A solid day today. Did like 10 approaches. While most of them fell flat, a few were fun and the vibe felt good. A friend advised me that a lot of approaches are falling flat because of vibe and energy issues. I come across as an annoying guy at the moment. This is good to know, because the things I need to improve are fairly easy to implement. 1) Start smiling more while approaching. 2) Do better about the actual approaching (the angles and type of approach matter a lot).

So for the next week, my main focus will be on smiling more when I approach, and appearing more interesting, and to get the girl to stop before I start talking to her. I think I'll also try doing some indirect direct, but that's less of a priority.

The first girl who it went well was a French girl. I talked a bit about my travels to Lisbon, but I should have fed it back to her better to make her feel more connected. Either way, she had a boyfriend.

Second girl was an Argentinian. Did a better job asking about her, but was too much questions and felt interviewy to me. To improve, I think I'll need to start cold-reading well.

There was a third girl who I opened and we talked for a second.

I think that identifying a sticking point today was extremely helpful, and I'm hoping that by focusing on it, I can see a lot more improvement over my next few outings.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:28 pm

Twas raining really hard today, but I decided to do the 30 day challenge, so I did one approach before heading to the gym.

Was walking to the gym, and saw her look at me before looking away. We were heading the same direction, and there were massive puddles everywhere, so I made a comment about how I wasn't about to try and go through them. She was receptive and we talked while heading the same direction. I think the big issue was that it was too friendly, and too indirect. No sexual intent at all. Got her number, and will try for a date, but she might think it's platonic. Either way, I focused on being more positive and having fun, and the result was there. Next few days seem like there'll be better weather, so should have more approaches.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Grand Pooba » Fri Oct 12, 2018 1:13 pm

y___ wrote:Twas raining really hard today, but I decided to do the 30 day challenge, so I did one approach before heading to the gym.

Was walking to the gym, and saw her look at me before looking away. We were heading the same direction, and there were massive puddles everywhere, so I made a comment about how I wasn't about to try and go through them. She was receptive and we talked while heading the same direction. I think the big issue was that it was too friendly, and too indirect. No sexual intent at all. Got her number, and will try for a date, but she might think it's platonic. Either way, I focused on being more positive and having fun, and the result was there. Next few days seem like there'll be better weather, so should have more approaches.


A number is a number. Unless she said explicitly that she's giving you her number to be friends and nothing more, treat it like she is attracted to you and that it's not platonic.

Always assume attraction.

Set up a date.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sun Oct 14, 2018 4:54 pm

Thanks GP!

So sent her a text and didn’t get a response :/ Ah well. Approached 5 girls over the last few days (low I know). Three of them stopped and talked to me, which I attribute to a change in vibe/more smiling. Got one number today.
So Friday was a bad day, and I realized my vibe was off, so made myself take it more easy and took more pressure off. I found that it made a good difference and made me more outcome independent and more dominant. It felt easier.
This one girl from Barcelona I talked to I think would have been better if I’d cold read that she was Spanish. I knew from her name that she likely was, and I think it would have helped her hook.
Today, opened a girl by telling her she was cute. She had a very surprised look, but stood very close to me. I got her number and I think she’ll come on a date. She called me bold and said something like impressive or props, which felt like I was being talked down to. Didn’t know how to react, but I think the bold part is still positive, and it could be me overthinking.

Things are looking up. My efficiency seems to be improving too :)
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:48 pm

Good things: approached a lot today. I think I had a few good ones, and a lot of room for improvement.

Best girl was this Russian, I opened her, and she said thanks but that she was in a rush. I persisted by saying to wait two seconds, which she did, and then she still started moving, so I told her if she's heading that way, I'd walk with her. It was mostly me talking, and asking questions, and eventually she started asking some back. I think the conversation could have been improved with some cold reading. She had a boyfriend though, so it anyway would have flopped.

Another girl was at an intersection, and I opened her directly, and she said thanks, but skedaddled away really quick. Same with another girl that I did a similar open to. In the future, I should do these kind of "more casual" opens indirect-directly.

Working on my walk and fundamentals. Tried a scarf today and got some positive feedback. Dropped a shit ton on a nice haircut, and styled my facial hair to look cleaner. Fashion sense still needs to be built. Going to the gym pretty frequently. Down 10 pounds since moving. Trying to lose another 2-5 pounds, and then I'm going to start bulking up to 190lbs. Eating is healthy when I eat at home, and alcohol consumption is low. Sex drive has been through the roof the last few days, so hoping to channel that into some solid progress.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sat Oct 20, 2018 1:29 am

Went out at night today for a change of pace. It was really good. Went out with a new buddy who's on GC and met an Indian guy into Pickup who seems pretty good.

So when I go out at night, I generally open indirectly, I've found that it's a lot better, feels more natural, and allows me to display attractiveness in other ways. I still need to work on showing attraction to the girl, but I think I'm doing decently.

First girl was this one who I did as a warm up. Just asked what she was drinking, and got into a little conversation. She kept trying to introduce her friend, who seemed not as into the conversation, so I'm not sure if the friend, or her was interested. The talk died down, and we parted ways.

At the second place, this girl stand next to me, and I just ask her what she recommends as a drink. She suggests a vodka soda, which I bash her about flirtingly, since I'm much more of a sweet tooth guy. We talk a bit, and I find out she's a commercial model, but she wants to have a music career. I think I did a good job deep diving, and being funny, since she was laughing a lot. Also touched her fairly frequently. She said she was going to go grab a drink, and I told her to give me her number in case we lost each other, which I figured was going to happen. And that we should grab drinks. I asked her if she was down, and she said yeah. Got her number. About an hour later, texted her saying, "Hey *****, its y___... Save my number :)". Didn't get a response, but will see if I can set anything up. She was extremely attractive, blond, and tall. Go me :)

Second girl was while we were waiting in line for a club. I asked the group as a whole whether they were at the end of the line or the beginning. Some girl answered, and that seemed to be that. But then this other piqued in asking about us, and I talked to her for like a minute. Found out she was from Portugal, near Lisbon, and told her I traveled there over the summer. Exchanged a few stories about that. They ended up leaving the line, but the Indian guy with us told me that the girl liked me, and that I could have made something happen. I saw her pass by us in the opposite direction and chased after her, calling her name. She stopped, and I told her "Hey, I know this is totally random, but I thought you were really cute. Give me your number, let's grab something this week and meet up". She was like, "okaaay", and gave me her number. While she was typing, I asked her what she did for a living, and she said she was in legal, and that we could "chit-chat" about that later. I said sure, and waved her and her friends off.

Both girls were really attractive to me, so I'm really glad I went out tonight. This is the kind of positive momentum I need right now, so I think going out on weekends to places where meeting girls is easier should definitely be something I regularly do. It definitely will help me in day game just by giving me a different kind of experience. I'm also noticing more looks my way, which I attribute to my losing weight, a new haircut, and some better style decisions. Going to the gym regularly, eating healthy, and overall feeling good right now.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sat Oct 20, 2018 8:55 am

Looking back, I think what I should have done for the first girl was isolate her. When she went to grab her drink, I should have told her to grab it and then come and sit with me. Shouldn’t have let her go away.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Mon Oct 22, 2018 8:40 pm

Made it a goal to approach 5 girls today, did 0.

I know why I feel so shitty, I know how to fix it, but I don’t. I need to take action, if I continue like this, I’ll grow old knowing that I had a chance to make my life amazing and will regret it forever. I need to become okay with rejection, and to just get the ball rolling and do that first approach, consistently.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Tue Oct 23, 2018 8:03 pm

Ugh I hate when I get whiney. Partially think it was more hangry...

Hit my goal weight today so going to start bulking, which hopefully should have positive impacts elsewhere since I’m no longer restricting my calories so much.

Two approaches today. Bad is that I could not talk for the life in me. I was tripping over my words, couldn’t think of things to say, and overall it was not a fun experience. On the other hand, both girls talked to me so got some experience there. After the lack of taking any action over the last few days, I’ll take what positives I can.

At my salsa class yesterday I gave that girl I’m crushing on a compliment. We were rotating partners and I got to her, and I just couldn’t help myself telling her how stylish I thought she was (which she is). She seemed taken aback, but flattered. After I couldn’t think of anything to say, but I think if I can improve every day, I might have a shot later on in the class.

Need to start being more social during the day, talking to random people and getting out of my head. Need to practice see diving and everything too.

Flirting I think will come more as I start experiencing more wins.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Fri Oct 26, 2018 9:24 pm

So approached two girls today (badly), and one two days ago that was okay, but not too flirty and I didn’t go for the close.

The first girl I approached was in a big crowd so it was hard to stop her and I did it badly and from the side so she just kept walking. She didn’t even let me get past the “hey”. Oof embarrassing. Second girl I tried running around in front but I didn’t leave enough space so she didn’t really stop. Can’t blame either girl, I need to be more authoritative and take more risks. I’m on one hell of a losing streak so I need to start forcing myself to be more bold and risk taking until I start winning again.

Still too much in my head and not having enough fun with it. Working on not being so serious about everything and trying to have more fun with everything I’m doing. One thing is that I feel like I don’t let myself have fun until I know the girl won’t reject me, which lowers the amount of girls I might get by talking because only a few will be happy to talk to me if I’m not bringing the vibe. So need to work on a mental shift there.

It’s a lot harder getting back into things than starting out, but I’ll get there.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Mon Oct 29, 2018 1:22 pm

Went out Saturday night with my friend who’s been in pick up for a while. He just kept approaching and was persistent and positive the entire time. Lots to learn. I got rejected quite a bit but at least I approached more.

Yesterday walked around for 4 hours and did one approach, and made small comments here and there to other girls.

Trying to get rid of this approach anxiety. Need to stop thinking so much and to stop caring so much.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Thu Nov 01, 2018 1:06 am

An amazing day today. Made a lot of progress.

Went out with a coach, and had the goal of getting rejected 30 times. It felt good to hit a target. Interestingly, as I got more loose and started having more fun, the approaches became lower pressure, and the girls were more friendly and had better reactions. Kept pushing until got rejected.

One asian girl had a solid reaction to me. I kept talking to her, and at one point, I said, "Honestly, I have no idea what to say, but I really want to keep talking to you". She seemed very flattered at that point, but I wasn't very into her, and I left a little after. I think she was disappointed. Other things of note, I got a couple of approach invitations. One of them, I went up to and she took the compliment well, but wasn't down to talk. I think I hesitated, which I'm stopping. Decisiveness was something I heavily worked on today, the spam approaching nature of it made it so. But each approach got me a little out of my head and added some feeling and I stopped caring as much. I'm aiming for this state consistently.

A couple of other girls had pretty solid reactions to me, but they were in a hurry. In the future, I'll try to be more persistent in getting them to stay. As I get more experienced, I'll work to calibrate it to only go after girls who are more interested in me. For now, I don't have that experience, so I'm going to go out and get it.

One thing I'm taking to heart is the fact that everything is up to me. I get to decide whether I'll get good today, next week, or next month. I choose today. I discovered a way to short-circuit my rejection fear by seeking it, which I will use until the approaching for the sake of meeting a girl I think is cute is the reason for the approach. At the same time, after this habit gets built, I want to focus more on calibrating and adjusting to how a girl reacts. Right now, that's a little further down the road, but something I will keep in the back of my head.

Had a halloween party my roommate through. Flirted with most of the girls at the party. Two seemed to like me, but seeing as everyone was a coworker of each other, I felt that making a move was risking getting thrown under the bus. So I just focused on having a good time and enjoying myself.

Got taco bell on the way home. There was an attractive girl waiting for her food. Me and my roommate ordered and he went to use the restroom. She had a suitcase and there was a sword popping out of it, so I opened her situationally through that. We talked for a bit and I deep dove her a little with some banter. Not sure whether sexualness came across, but got her number. Pretty sure it's real, so i'll text her tomorrow and try to schedule something

I feel good. Taking action today has helped and I'll continue tomorrow and the day after. I'm in this for the long haul. If I start getting scared again, I'll try to get rejected until I'm ready to have fun again.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Thu Nov 01, 2018 10:04 pm

5 approaches today, and they all went way more smoothly than they have in the past.

I generally open direct, and today was no exception. Three of the girls didn't talk to me, two of them did talk, but one left really fast since she was on her way to a date. But she said that I should do what I'm doing more often, which would imply that she thinks I'm approaching girls in non-creepy way. Second girl talked to me for a bit, but she had just started dating some guy, so she wasn't down. My new mentality is to go for the approach as soon as I consider it, unless I decide that I don't want to. If I don't go for the approach, but I wish that I had, then I'm going to aim to get rejected, short-circuiting my mental programming.

I also had a lot of fun, and I'm feeling good with how I'm looking. Style is getting better, and I'm getting a couple of looks every day, so just need to capitalize on it when it's from a girl I like.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Fri Nov 02, 2018 10:28 pm

1 approach today. This one girl stared me down for like three seconds but I didn't open her. She was okay, but next time I'm going to open a girl who gives me that big of an AI. I think it would be good experience.

Had some approach anxiety, so I'm going to have to do my rejection exercises again. Tomorrow I have a family event for a large part of the day so might be a little difficult to do anything, but I'll try.

Texted the girl from Halloween, but no response. Ah well, on to the next one. One thing I'm happy about is that the girls who give me their numbers are the girls I'm most attracted to, so I feel that when genuine attraction comes up, I'll have better success in the future.

I've been doing some thinking on my closing for day game. I need to do better with natural number swapping and trading numbers on a high note, and then continuing the conversation for a bit before leaving. Currently, I get the number right at the end, which is not ideal. I should get the number during banter when emotions are spiked and then continue, since it's not a big deal. I expect that if I implement this change, I'll start getting more responses to texts and start going on some dates.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Grand Pooba » Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:19 am

y___ wrote:1 approach today. This one girl stared me down for like three seconds but I didn't open her. She was okay, but next time I'm going to open a girl who gives me that big of an AI. I think it would be good experience.


Always open in this kind of a situation, at this stage in your learning. You can be more selective later, when you have the ability to.

y___ wrote:Texted the girl from Halloween, but no response. Ah well, on to the next one. One thing I'm happy about is that the girls who give me their numbers are the girls I'm most attracted to, so I feel that when genuine attraction comes up, I'll have better success in the future.


Did she not respond to your save my number text, or to your date invite? Not every girl will respond to the save my number text... you should follow through after the weekend on Monday 1pm with a simple text - "Hey <name>, how was your weekend? :)"
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Grand Pooba » Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:22 am

y___ wrote:
I've been doing some thinking on my closing for day game. I need to do better with natural number swapping and trading numbers on a high note, and then continuing the conversation for a bit before leaving. Currently, I get the number right at the end, which is not ideal. I should get the number during banter when emotions are spiked and then continue, since it's not a big deal. I expect that if I implement this change, I'll start getting more responses to texts and start going on some dates.


You have the right idea here...
But, you have to have more meaningful conversations first, lol.

y___ wrote:One asian girl had a solid reaction to me. I kept talking to her, and at one point, I said, "Honestly, I have no idea what to say, but I really want to keep talking to you". She seemed very flattered at that point, but I wasn't very into her, and I left a little after. I think she was disappointed.


Yes she was definitely disappointed, because you hooked her and she was attracted to you. You should have kept going with her. I'd say you should keep going with these women and try to close; you might feel differently about her later, and either way it will give you practice in stages that you haven't seen much of, as well as confidence that you're getting results. We all want to win the major leagues, but everyone starts in the basic stuff before you can get there...
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:25 am

Ah okay, I sent her this yesterday around 11:32AM

Hey J! Hope you’re as ready for the weekend as I am :) You doing anything interesting?


Which I think could have been written better. I figured waiting four days was too long so opted to send a text the day after instead of over the weekend.

Sent first text on Thursday, and second one on Friday.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sat Nov 10, 2018 2:38 am

So did 5 approaches on Wednesday. They were all much better than before. I was relaxed, having fun, and the girls seemed to notice this and were happier when I talked to them. First girl was from Honduras, but she talked to me for a few seconds before saying she was in a hurry. Should have told her that I was also in a rush, but that we should grab a drink. Next time. Talked to this married Indian girl for a few minutes. Opened indirect direct. She seemed to like me, but I was tripping over my words a lot. Third girl flashed past me. Fourth girl was visiting from Boston for an interview. Had a solid conversation with her. At one point I mentioned that I was shy, but now I was better. And she replied that yeah, and now I was approaching girls in the middle of the street. But she said it with a smile. I should have made it flirty by saying something like, "only blonde girls from Boston". Also for next time. Got her number, and she replied to me saying that she would let me know when she is in the city, if she gets a job. Going to wait until I hear back from her. I did respond to that with a "Sounds like a plan :) When do you think you'll hear back from them". Fifth girl also rushed past me.
Overall good. Now I need to start increasing consistency and becoming more sexual with girls.
On the up and up though, so feeling good.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Mon Dec 10, 2018 11:31 pm

So last week I approached 5 girls. Two hooked, and two others were not single, and one girl didn't stop. The positives were that I was relaxed and felt confident with myself. I was smiling and playful, but I need to increase my sexuality more. The first girl asked whether I was practicing talking to strangers, I responded with a negative and that I thought she was cute. I should have gone along with the story (improv 101: yes and...) and then said that she seemed like the perfect choice as I thought she was cute too.
Second girl I talked to for a little longer. She was waiting outside a juice bar and I told her I thought she was cute. She was a little startled because I was with a friend, and he pointed her out to me. I think she saw that LOL. She stood pretty far from me and I calibrated by letting her stay a little farther while I got her more comfortable. I asked her what she was up to and she said she was getting an acai bowl. I teased her for being basic but then qualified myself by saying I liked them too. I asked her what she did, and she said she was a student (I could have cold read that probably). I tell her I'm actually with a friend, but that I like her and that we should grab a coffee, she says yes and I grab her number. She asks what I do and I tell her that I work and just graduated (I think I may have over provided information but she still seemed apprehensive so I wanted to lower some of the tension). I turned it back on her and asked what she studied (creative writing). I asked what her genre was and she said it was dystopian so I made a joke about hunger games, but she said she was more 1984, so I called her sophisticated. I bounce after this. I text her, but didn't get a response.

Regarding the last few days. I've been going out with the intention of meeting girls, but I'm not doing so. I need to hold myself accountable better and be more disciplined. I've been listening to some of the GC podcasts and am trying to focus more. Right now consistency of meeting women should be my only focus. I know that I have the initial conversation at a good point and in most cases where the girl hooks, I feel like I can grab the number. I need to work on making a better, more sexual impression and converting numbers into dates.

Also eating well and exercising. I think my fashion is improving well, and I am liking how I'm looking. My body fat percentage is pretty low too, so I'm trying to add some muscle.

Going to focus on consistency, and approaching 5 girls a day.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Eliasmusic » Tue Dec 11, 2018 1:10 am

Yo bro! Just read through your last couple of posts! Keep up the good work man. It seems like you're not getting a lot of hooks, just want you to know that that's honestly pretty normal unless you're really on top of your game. Probably varies a fair bit place to place, I'm from Aus, and seriously girls who would be falling over me in a party or social environment where I have social proof are not keen when I approach on the street.

But keep going man, because (obviously it's not ideal) but even if you only get one meaningful interaction/relationship from every 20 approach, you're still making your game so much better, and come party time or any other more natural situation you're going to be set in good stead by your approaches.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Tue Dec 11, 2018 11:32 pm

A solid day today. About 10 approaches, and got two numbers. Lots of girls hooked which was something I'm happy about.

First interaction that was good was this girl who had a boyfriend. I think I did well otherwise and was relaxed. Similar thing happened on another girl. Also had some blowouts which I think can be attributed to bad opening strategy and opening at bad times (in a crowd, not dominantly enough).

Was walking down a street and this girl glanced at me, which I took as an approach invitation. I opened her and told her I thought she was cute. We chatted for a bit, and I found out she was on her way to a hair appointment. I asked her for coffee and she asked where I lived, because she is going to be out of town for a while. We'll see where that goes. I think the good thing on that was that I was confident and natural. Got to keep replicating that.

On my way home, I saw this girl wearing shorts, and she had killer legs. I am proud of myself for going after her, because internally I was about to not do so. I ran after her and told her I just had to meet her, and she was very warm. I knew that because she was wearing shorts, that she was probably not looking to talk for long, so I just said I wanted to get to know her better and grab a coffee. She said yeah, and as I was putting her number in she saw my background picture and asked about it. I told her it was a painting in Vienna that I liked to look at because it makes me smile (which I think demonstrated some good qualities). I got her number and bounced, but she seems quite warm. Sent her a text, so hoping she responds.

Did the same thing on a different girl, but when I asked for a coffee she said that she wanted to pass. What this is telling me is that I need to calibrate intro conversations better. If a girl is really busy, then doing a quick number grab makes sense, but otherwise I should strive to make a better connection. In the future, I'll calibrate better to make sure that I don't rely on a fast number grab as a crutch. Forging a connection will probably lead to better leads and more dates.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Wed Dec 12, 2018 11:03 pm

@Eliasmusic
Thanks for the encouragement! I appreciate it a lot. Yeah it's been a tough few months but I feel on the upswing. But I feel my openers hooking more and am feeling better and more excited to meet girls, so looking forward to the future.

So today I opened 1 girl. Only got out of work late so didn't have as much time. I noticed her catch my eyes and I wanted to say hi. I think she was Latina from her accent. I told her I thought she was cute. What was interesting was that she didn't really smile while talking to me, even though I felt happy and was smiling I think. But she stayed and talked to me. I found out she was on her way to a dance class and tried to guess the dancing. She said she had to go after a bit (which I think I should have caught on first since she was on her way to a dance class) and told me if I wanted to talk to her that we should swap numbers. I asked her if she was down to grab coffee (don't think that was the right move since she offered first), but called myself from her phone and sent her a message an hour later asking how the dance class was.

The first girl from yesterday responded to my second text, but not to my third, but she responded with a long reply so I'll leave that to simmer and come back to her later. The second girl I'm actually a little disappointed by because she was reacting very warmly to me. I think I should have built a better connection with her, but ah well, now to move on to the next girls.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Thu Dec 13, 2018 11:00 pm

3 approaches today. Glad about the first one even if it was that smooth. I went for it. I noticed her when I got on the subway but only talked to her when I exited and we were about to part ways. Should've opened her at the beginning, and I think it could've gone better. She said she had a boyfriend, but like I said, the approach wasn't smooth.

Second approach was this girl. Again, I'm glad I went for it. Saw her walking, then decided against talking to her, then steeled myself and chased her for a block. Opened her and talked for a few minutes. Got the number, but don't expect much because it wasn't very smooth.

Last girl walked right past me.

Still 3 in a day. So improvement plus a lot of momentum.

Girl from yesterday replied, so I think I'll end up on a date with her next week.

Still bummed about the girl from two days ago, but these new girls are making me feel better.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sat Dec 15, 2018 11:24 pm

Another approach today. Not much to be said on it besides the fact that I was extremely bad vibe on account of being sick, but I still tried and smiled, and still went out and made an approach. She said she had a boyfriend before I even introduced myself so DOA.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sun Dec 16, 2018 6:49 pm

Been sick today, but called the girl who didn’t respond to my texts. She picked up and I told her who I was, which was somewhat long winded, and she said she was with her friends and would call back later, which she didn’t. The goal was to try to persist in an attractive way. At least I called her, because I was scared to do so. Calling it closed on her and will move on. Trying to set up two dates but not getting responses so back to square one.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:51 pm

So yesterday I went out and approached 15 girls. My goal was to meet 15 girls and ask one girl out to coffee that day. Most of the approaches were pretty good, I'd say about 5ish girls hooked, and I could've done better on some other approaches. There was this one red head who was walking kind of fast. I approached her, but I should have waited for her to stop at a stop light and then opened her. From there I could have talked with her and kept walking. Would have been a lot smoother. Got two numbers.
One was from this girl in all pink. I was super surprised how it happened. Basically I went up to her and gave her my opener, but I psyched myself out and was going to exit the conversation but then she asked me for my instagram. I said I don't use it much, but that I'd be more down for a coffee. We exchanged numbers and I talked to her for a little longer, and found out she was a pediatric nurse who didn't initially know why she went into the field. She also didn't like kids originally but now does. I texted her an icebreaker yesterday. No response, so I texted her today in the afternoon asking how the rest of her night went. No response, so I'll leave it and see if she responds later.
Second girl I got a number from was wearing this coat which covered her mouth, but she gave me an IOI, and I thought she was cute. I talked to her, and was a little playful, telling her to guess what she thought I did. She took a step back and checked me out, so I did a turn to give her a full view. Found out she was a financial consultant. Asked her out, but she said she was exhausted. So I suggested another time, and we traded numbers.

She texted me this:
"Hi Y___, nice to meet you too! & I'll only save your number if I like you :)"

I responded with, "I'll let you be the judge of that ;)" and then followed it immediately with an ask out.

From a friend, a better response would have been: "What's your schedule like M...? Let's grab that coffee and you can decide if you like me ;)"

^Will use for next time.

Overall it was a good day, and I feel better. I need to increase the number of girls I meet per day, and I think I'll see some huge strides in my results.

Also learned some good stuff about texting. I need to match a girl's investment while texting while also matching her vibe and playfulness. Right now I have difficulty identifying and coming up with the right texts to send back, but that's a matter of practice.

Either way, I think I'll end up on a date next week, so FR inbound :)
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:55 pm

Today I approached two girls. First one was standing on the corner and I went to the edge, then came back and opened her by telling her I thought she was cute. She seemed receptive so I kept talking and I found out she was meeting a friend who was leaving NYC for good. I connected on that by saying I knew how she felt, and that it's rough, but changed the subject. She's a college student studying finance, but wants to go more traditional. I tried cold reading by guessing she was a writing student, and she corrected me, and then cold reading her by saying she was a creative type, which she affirmed. Found out she used to dance ballet, which I'm good at connecting with, since I've danced in the past. I asked her when she was free, and she said she was free tomorrow. I thought about it, but I think I played around with the hesitation too much, so it might be incongruent for me to ask her tomorrow, but I still am going to try.

Second girl I complimented but on second look wasn't too big a fan.

I walked around a lot but didn't see too many girls that caught my eye.

My fashion is definitely improving and I'm looking more fit. I definitely feel on the upswing.
Never let fate dictate what life has in store for you
y___


Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby fog » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:16 pm

y___ wrote:She texted me this:
"Hi Y___, nice to meet you too! & I'll only save your number if I like you :)"

I responded with, "I'll let you be the judge of that ;)" and then followed it immediately with an ask out.

From a friend, a better response would have been: "What's your schedule like M...? Let's grab that coffee and you can decide if you like me ;)"


hi yash,

when she said she would only save your number if she liked you, she was trying to get you to qualify to her. you fell into the trap and qualified yourself to her with your answer, thus reducing your value, increasing your attainability, and putting yourself in a chasing position.

Using your friend's response wouldn't have been much better.

If that was me, I would have disqualified myself to her qualifier. I probably would have showed playful disinterest, like:

let's hope it stays unsaved ;P what's your schedule like?
fog

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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Fri Jan 11, 2019 9:47 pm

Thanks for the advice fog! I'll definitely think about it next time.

Only one approach today, but wasn't feeling genuinely attracted, but did it.

The girl I was supposed to go on a date with flaked for a valid reason, so I'll reschedule it with her. The other girl from the day before is texting me very warmly, so I'll be meeting her on Tuesday.

Working on increasing my number of approaches to 5 per day.
Never let fate dictate what life has in store for you
y___


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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Sun Jan 13, 2019 8:39 pm

No approaches over the last two days, which I'm not happy with myself about. I don't like wasting days, so I've just got to sack up and do it tomorrow. I'm setting a goal of 5 approaches after work.

The girl who flaked on me hasn't gotten back to me, so I'm assuming that we won't meet, too bad.

The girl I'm meeting on Tuesday seems excited to meet me, and I'm excited to see her. I've moved locations so it's better logistics to my place, and I think it should be fun. I just need to focus on continuing to approach to avoid one-itis.

Posting my texts for future reference, with my notes on what I could do better.

Her: Sounds good! Haha yeah, the park will be too dark by then anyways....not trying to get murdered or anything!!
Me: Haha sounds like a plan! Looking forward to it :) Let's figure out where to meet and stuff on Tuesday?
Note: Was trying to avoid scaring her, since she had suggested the park, and I mentioned that it might be too cold. Added to "looking forward to it" to make it warmer to alleviate any fears she might have had
Her: Me too! My office is near -------, not sure where you are at, but we can meet in the middle?
Her: Any big plans this weekend?!
Notes: I viewed this as investment from her, so I try to return it back to her
Me: If you're down for a little bit further, how about ---------? Otherwise lets do -------
...
She mentions that she is going rock climbing over the weekend
---
Me: That's one busy weekend :) It sounds like a lot of fun (minus the chores)! Which rock climbing place is this? I love bouldering myself
...
She tells me they went to an axe throwing place instead
...
Her: Haha sooo you rock climb
---
I initially understood this as her being impressed with me, so I try to be humble
---
Me: I've dabbled a little ;)
Me: The axe throwing sounds awesome, you'll have to tell me more about it!
Her: Sooo you love bouldering yourself....how so?!?!
---
At this point I realize she misunderstood what I meant by "I enjoy bouldering myself"
---
Me: "laughing emoji"
Me: Bouldering is rock climbing without any gear
Me: Although now I'm curious what bouldering yourself might mean haha
Her: OMG!! Totally misinterpreted that for some reason.......I'm overly tired I should probs just go to bed bahaha
---
I notice her grammar and word choice is becoming more casual, which I think is a good thing
---
Her: For the record in my mind I read torturing.....
Me: Hahahaha don't think I'm into that, I'm a little more tame
Her: "laughing emoji"

So with that last text, I was trying to inject some sexual humor, since torturing myself feels like some kink. I think I communicated it, but I could have done it better.

What I feel that I could have written was:

1. "Hahaha I consider myself adventurous, but I think torturing myself might be a little much"
2. "Hahaha that's one hell of a freudian slip ;)"

Curious if anyone else has anything else they could add, or if they want to give an opinion on my texting. I'm trying to improve it, so I'll try to post conversations and analyze the good ones in my journal.
Never let fate dictate what life has in store for you
y___


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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby y___ » Mon Jan 14, 2019 10:19 pm

Ugh, I'm really angry with myself today, for a better reason than before.

6 approaches. First three were awful, but only the first girl was someone I really liked. I should have tried to extend the conversation, I didn't even bother introducing myself. Giving up early should not happen.

First girl to hook was this Slovakian girl, we talked for a bit, and I did the old turn around to let her check me out. Grabbed her number right as her friend was coming to meet her.

Second girl to hook talked to me, and I opened well, but I couldn't come up with conversation well.

Third girl to hook was this cute turkish girl that I really liked. For some reason, she told me she had moved here 18 years ago, and I just thought she was old, but SHE WAS ATTRACTIVE TO ME, and I still left. I feel disgusted with myself for this. Never again. On top of that I'm an idiot because she probably moved here when she was a kid. I can still see the look of disappointment when I left and she was surprised that I didn't ask her out. I have never been so aghast at my actions. I've learned from this mistake. It was an expensive mistake, but I have learned.

On the bright side, 3/6 girls I met hooked, and I think I could have gotten numbers from all 3 of them if I had been on top of my game.

Got a date tomorrow, so hopefully expect an FR on Wednesday.
Never let fate dictate what life has in store for you
y___


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