Articles by Varoon Rajah | Girls Chase

Articles by Varoon Rajah

How to Build a Harem, Pt 5: Phases of Non-Monogamous Relationships

non-monogamous mltr relationship phases
Every relationship has its phases, but non-monogamous setups are often more challenging. Handle each phase well to help things go smoothly and make it last.

Welcome back to the Harem series. In this article, I will continue discussing how to date and manage relationships with many women in an implicitly non-monogamous arrangement. In Parts 3 and 4, we discussed how to compartmentalize your many relationships and structure your lifestyle to balance the number of girls you desire with what’s possible within the system. 

Let’s move on to discuss the life cycle of these relationships, as understanding how they evolve is key to affecting their outcome and longevity. After all, every relationship (even outside this system) has a specific life path. As a man, the dominant force in the relationship, you are in control of where it goes, based on the type of relationship you desire. It’s up to the girl to accept it, or reject it and find another man who wants what she wants.

As the leader in this dating structure, through the whole process, you’ll be guiding the path of these relationships, to protect the woman and create the best outcome for both of you. Ideally, you will structure the relationship so that she understands precisely what it is, how non-monogamy works, and whether it’s something she wants or not.

It’s also important to structure this in a way that makes it easy for her to say yes or no and increases the likelihood of her accepting the implicit non-monogamy model, regardless of her own previous experiences and desires. 

To set up the right path for this system, you must set the correct frames very early, so she understands exactly what it is you do and what she’s getting into. You’ll be conveying most of the information about the relationship through your behavior, not through words, although they will come into play. The life cycle of this relationship type is split into six different parts, and the woman needs to cross all the thresholds to ensure its longevity.

If your girl makes it through all these stages within the first six months or so, you can bet that she’ll be in your life for many years – for as long as you want her to be.

Give Her a Memorable Date with Just One Compliment

one compliment rule
One compliment is all it takes to deepen your connection with a girl. If it’s thoughtful and genuinely conveyed, it can really help move things forward.

Here’s a nifty little tool you can use on dates. It’s best used to manage your attainability on a date and show a girl that you genuinely like her. It allows you to accelerate the speed of the date and transition it into something more intimate.

However, the way you use it must be timely and carefully calibrated to the moment.

This is a tool that was taught to me by my friend Franco, Girls Chase board moderator, so all credit goes to him. It revamped the way I went about first dates, and my pull rate increased dramatically. It basically shifts any girl on a date into overdrive the moment you use it, but you must use this tactic at the correct moment to exploit its full potential.

Today, we’re going to talk about dates – specifically, first dates. You’re always going to be setting up your dates correctly using other Girls Chase-taught procedures no matter what stage you’re at in the courtship. You approached her, got her number, and asked her on a date. Now you’re going out together somewhere, so she’s invested in seeing where this is heading.

The Life Benefits and Costs of Learning Seduction Game

cost and benefits of learning seduction game
Should you focus more on your career or your game? Ultimately, both are important aspects every man should invest in as early as possible to be truly happy in life.

I recently visited my friend in Seattle during an extra-long layover on a business trip – he’s admittedly far less woman-experienced than me, but he’s also a decade younger. I was asked a question I see asked often in various ways – how valuable is it to learn game as an investment, as far as effort versus rewards is concerned?

We do have some articles covering this on Girls Chase:

Considering my friend’s question, I thought I’d add my own perspective on the importance of learning game in life versus focusing your effort on other endeavors.

Sex and women are one of the biggest drives that men have by nature, and it’s no accident. We’re designed to reproduce, and we’re designed to seek and screw women. But despite this, the truth is that most men are terrible with women. The majority – probably 95% – don’t find or follow websites like Girls Chase, nor bother to learn (or even attempt to see the importance of learning) how to become better-suited to attracting and keeping the opposite sex. Often, it’s deemed unnecessary or too hard to warrant the effort.

There are also guys who see other men doing well with women and assume that this kind of success isn’t even possible for themselves. Minorities often hold this view, believing that it’s impossible for them to attract the same kind of women more skilled men get. Other guys notice that men in certain social circles tend to do better than others – a bartender, international tour guide, or frat bro versus your average Joe, for instance.

Well, there is some truth to this, but it’s worth examining more closely because your experience with women is tied to the timeline of your life, and your ability to attract women as a man is largely determined by how much effort you put into learning about women.

As you’ll see, there are no accidents when it comes to why certain men do better with women – and get hotter girlfriends more frequently – than other guys.

The Late-Date-Half-Flake: Sometimes This Is Why She Flakes

late dates and half flakes
Sometimes a girl will flake because she sees you as unattainable or as too high or low value. Here’s how to react, pass her tests, and get her to show up.

We were supposed to meet at 7 for drinks one weekday evening.

I sent her an anti-flake text at 11:10am that said “See you tonight, lady,” to which she did not respond. I showed up at the venue at 6:05 and didn’t see her anywhere.

I sent another: “Just got here.” Then I waited. I knew what was happening. I didn’t hear from her until 7:20.

“Hey! Sorry – lost track of time, such a busy day. I’m just going to shower quickly and then I’ll head over that way.”

We were going to have drinks about five minutes walking distance from her own apartment.

By the time she showed up, it was 8:45. In the meantime, I chatted with my buddies on my laptop, had a beer, and wrote about 1000 words of this article.

She arrived about two hours late and apologized profusely, but I could tell she was nervous as hell, and I knew why.

We didn’t go home together that night, but it’s only because she didn’t see me as attainable for what she was looking for at the time, and I ended up being too needy in my behavior. However, up to that point, everything was handled.

You might be asking, “Why in the world would Varoon wait almost two hours for a girl to show up to a date? I’d probably have left after about fifteen minutes.” Normally, if a girl is that late, I’ll just text her, reschedule, and preserve my own time.

However, this situation was completely different because the core issue in the girl’s behavior was my attainability, not my value. Just understanding that required a completely different strategy to handle the issue and preserve my chances. This girl knew my value and thus wanted to slow-play the dating process. To get her, I realized I had to play into that.

How to Build a Harem, Pt.4: Tiers of Girlfriends and a Man’s Capacity

tiers of girlfriends
When your multiple-relationship lifestyle fills beyond capacity, one or more aspects will suffer. This advice will help you minimize heartbreak and stay on track.

Welcome back to the How to Build a Harem series, aimed at making you proficient in the art of dating several women long term.

  • In Part 1, we talked about Queen Theory and why all the girls you’re dating must always feel like your number-one girl.

  • In Part 2, we talked about some of the differences and issues between monogamous and non-monogamous dating structures.

  • In a supplement to the series, we talked about how to manage the inevitable jealousy that occurs in a harem and the role of discretion.

  • In Part 3, we talked about compartments and the role of precedence in how you treat the girls in your system.

In Part 4, we’re going to talk about the different tiers of girlfriends and how your lifestyle and capacity for girls work together. One of the most important things to understand about creating harems and dating multiple women is your own capacity to do so.

The whole point of the harem system is to be able to date the girls you like in a capacity which suits you, while also maintaining room to meet, sleep with, and date new girls when such opportunities arise. To do this, a man must structure his harem carefully.

How to Build a Harem, Pt 3: Compartments and Precedent

Compartments and Precedent
For your harem to last, you must compartmentalize your girls and life in such a way as to respect Queen Theory… or drama will send it all crashing down.

Welcome back to the Harem series! It’s been a while. In Parts 3 and 4, we’ll cover some juicy stuff. In Part 1, we talked about Queen Theory and why all the girls you’re dating must always be made to feel like your number-one priority.

In another supplement to this series, we talked about the differences and issues between monogamous and non-monogamous dating structures. In Part 2, we talked about jealousy and the role of discretion, why they exist, and how to manage them (as they are inevitable).

If you haven’t had a chance to review those articles, I highly recommend you do so to catch up on the concepts, because this and upcoming articles will build upon all of them, such as the different tiers of girlfriends a man can have, and how his lifestyle and capacity for girls go hand-in-hand.

We’ll cover how to structure your relationship compartments to respect Queen Theory, protect all your different relationships, and maintain a woman’s social face.

Female Sub-Communication Tactics: Scapegoat Framing

scapegoat frame
Women often reference third parties to covertly obtain info about you and what you want. Understanding this clandestine woman-speak can be very useful!

Women are masterful at communication. The ability for women to convey and decipher information is so sophisticated that most men completely miss the point and wind up wondering... “What the hell are these girls talking about?”

As men, we’re very direct and straightforward, saying things in ways that usually don’t have subconscious meanings. Women, on the other hand, can be circuitous and sneaky, conveying information in two layers. The first layer of communication is what’s obvious, but as we all know, the real meaning behind what women say is hidden in the next layer.

This layering of communication allows women to acquire information in a multitude of ways that aren’t apparent at first glance.

Women sub-communicate their intentions to get what they want from others. One of the best examples of this is the “scapegoat framing” tactic, which I will share with you today. It’s a means for a woman to acquire information about guys for her own purposes, while simultaneously using it as a form of influence by creating a condition around a mysterious third party.

In the last couple of months, I’ve experienced this frame on two separate occasions. In the first case, with a girl called Tanya, the frame was used to persuade and influence. In the second case, with Sarah, the frame was used to acquire information – the opposite of Tanya.

Relationship Management: Getting the Girl Is Just Round One

getting girl not finish line
Getting the girl is a goal, but staying with her is a process that requires continued effort. To keep a relationship strong, you have to keep playing.

I was just talking with a group of friends about how clueless some guys are about relationships. Most men are bad at meeting women. And once they find a girl they like, they’re even worse at managing relationships, so they flounder, again and again.

Here’s how the topic came up. One of my friends was dating a girl he really liked, but he’s much younger than her, lives at home with his family, and can’t hold down a job.

On the other hand, she’s in her thirties, and even though she liked my friend a lot, she didn’t feel like he was up to par to date publicly. He wasn’t ideal boyfriend material, in other words, but she still liked him and devised an interesting solution to the problem.

She continued to date my friend as a lover, hidden away behind the scenes, while she picked up a public boyfriend she could go out and be social with, and maintain the public façade of not being single. It was a situation that confused her for a long time – until her public boyfriend made so many mistakes during the relationship that she decided to dump him once and for all.

He didn’t take it well – his first reaction was to get drunk and go to her home, blocking her car in with his so she couldn’t leave. When she showed zero desire to get back together with him, he locked himself in her bathroom for an entire night, only coming out occasionally to beg her to take him back. Eventually, he vomited in the bathroom and fell asleep in it.

The next day, my friend had great sex with her for several hours. She’d lost any modicum of attraction she had left for the other guy after how needy he had become.

We talked about why things sometimes happen this way, and we deduced that most men just don’t know how to manage relationships correctly. Thus, I’m here to share with you why this is an important skill to learn, and how to go about it.