Mass approaching gets a bum rap. When it’s used well, it stops being sloppy and scattershot… and becomes a savvy, effective way to meet many women in a hurry.
Articles by Halvor Jannike
How good are you at using what’s in your brain? Fight-or-flight responses in social situations are common – yet you’re not bound to them.
Most pick-up theory is not well informed about the workings of the brain and the nervous system, which causes many guys to severely underperform in terms of their social state control. The author has studied this topic from both theoretical and practical angles for years and would like to share his experience on this issue.
In pick-up theory, state is used as a description of both the mental state and the resulting physical state of a person. Field reports often mention how the “state” of those involved changes during an evening or day out. “State” can more or less be used synonymously with “mood.”
State is an extremely important factor in one’s ability to perform seduction, in that the results of a given action will be heavily dependent on the mood of the person performing it – for obvious reasons. Your mood can be said to be the sum of your earlier interactions, and if your mood is bad, it means that the world has treated you badly – hardly a turn-on. Conversely, a stable, good mood will tell a history of being treated well by the world. And those who are constantly able to stay in a stable, good mood, no matter how bad the situation is, will be looked up to.
In evolutionary terms, your mood is a fitness indicator similar to looking physically healthy. Controlling your mood is therefore of utmost importance in nearly any social setting – and this is what “state control” refers to.
Men in STEM fields, despite their smarts, often don’t do well with girls. What’s the cause of this handicap – and what can you do about it?
STEM is an acronym for the academic disciplines of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. It is a moderately strong stereotype that men educated in these fields are socially awkward nerds who struggle with women.
Why is this the case (that STEM men are so often nerdy and awkward and not good with girls), and what can be done about it?
The author has studied math, physics, and computer science and would like to give his thoughts on this issue.
The first thing to be said about this problem is that it IS to some extent true that STEM-educated guys have problems with socializing and women, and thus the corresponding “nerd” stereotype is rather common with students and workers in such fields.
Obviously not all STEM guys have problems, and for those who do have problems, they are rarely unsolvable. The challenges STEM guys face have several different causes, and some personality traits should be reviewed before we start discussing solutions.
Many men who learn seduction get to the level where they get laid, but very few reach their full potential. Why is that so and what can we do about it?
This article is only directly relevant for intermediates and up, but I would still recommend everyone read it. Knowledge about potential future traps enables people to avoid them in advance and do fewer stupid things to themselves and others in the future.
In both the seduction community and the Manosphere, the term “beta male” is the diametrical opposite of the “alpha male”. He is also a contagious meme in the popular culture, but he is, contrary to the “alpha male”, usually referred to by folk terminology.
He is known as a “nice guy”.
As discussed in the previous article about “alpha male” and “sigma male” strategies, the term “beta male” is used in an imprecise way in the seduction community and the Manosphere, and I will thus not use it in the rest of this article. However, the almost synonymous concept of a “nice guy” is used in a rather consistent sense in contemporary society and it thus makes sense to discuss what characterizes him.
While there is much advice around on how socially dominant men behave and how to become more socially dominant, there is the problem that the advice usually only attempts to fix superficial behavior patterns of such “nice guys” and does not treat the underlying psychological conditionings that created the “nice guy” in the first place.
This is problematic because it causes incongruence, usually in the form of dominant behavior patterns that are in conflict with the underlying “nice guy” belief system.
There is also an incongruence problem in that a player lifestyle will generate reference experiences that are often deemed as negative in the “nice guy’s” belief system. This article will discuss how the “nice guy” has been conditioned and how the “nice guy” can recondition himself on multiple levels in order to become more socially successful. But first we will discuss why all these “nice guys” are around in the first place.
Few concepts are more viral in contemporary culture than the notion of the “alpha male”.
Many men want to become “alpha males”, but there is surprisingly little agreement on what characterizes this social role.
Even more, it can actually be argued that many guys should NOT try to be alpha males in the biological sense if their goal is to be a man who attracts women.
Does that mean that you should be a weak, submissive man?
Not at all.
There is a kind of strong man who is not the alpha male in its original sense but who may actually be a better archetype for many students of seduction.
An introduction to cognitive therapy (CT) was given in the previous article in this series, and I recommend reading it before reading this article.
A short refresher on the article about cognitive therapy is that your mind is equipped with mechanisms that ensure you don't take on physical or social risks you cannot handle, like things that generate too much anxiety.
Your fears and limiting beliefs will, with regards to seduction, often be irrational or obsolete if you have taken action to improve yourself, and CT is a way to update your mental map with more productive thoughts.
But sometimes a purely cognitive approach will not work. Maybe you are doing something really wrong and have to integrate new behavior.
Or you might, for example, have absolutely no relevant reference experiences to back up the belief that you will be able to pick up a woman you don't know in advance or a woman who is very hot. And no matter how much you read that this is possible, or are told so by others, you still can not imagine it happening.
Then the pure cognitive approach must be complemented by new behavior and additional reference experiences, and now we are dealing with behavior therapy (BT).
Behavior therapy is a very big topic with many concepts and techniques; this article will go through the most relevant ones for improving your social skills. The main enemy here is social anxiety, which is intimately connected to social hierarchies. So let's have a brief discussion on how these two concepts are related.
Any guy who has ever set his foot on a forum devoted to the study of seduction or who has purchased a book on the topic is likely to be familiar with the expressions “outer game” and “inner game”. He will know that “outer game” advice consists of learning new behaviors, while “inner game” advice is all about restructuring your cognition, or, in plain English, information processing and thought patterns.
However, not everybody knows that this is a kind of therapy that psychologists have been studying for decades and that they call “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” (commonly abbreviated CBT).
Its name indicates that it builds on the earlier method of pure cognitive therapy (CT) and also on behavior therapy (BT). Both psychologists and aspiring seducers have been discussing which therapy is more effective, but, at least among the psychologists, there is more or less agreement that the combination of CT (“inner game”) and BT (“outer game”) is more effective than either alone.
This should not be surprising; if you approach a problem from multiple angles you are more likely to solve it.
This first article in the new series I am kicking off on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy will address the CT part and teach you how to systematically challenge and defeat negative though patterns and unproductive beliefs.
Nearly everybody has something to work with here; there are very few people who are totally free from what are commonly known as “issues”.
from Chase: Halvor is our latest addition to the site – a close
friend of Alek’s and a longtime devotee of the seductive arts (and
fellow Norwegian). An engineer by trade, he’s spent a great deal of
time studying both in-depth psychology and nightlife pickup, and plans
to focus more on helping newer members with troublesome mindsets
starting out. Halvor also posts under the alias “sparxx” over on
Sedfast. Here he is.
Are you starting out as a practitioner of seduction in bars or clubs?
Have you already been trying out this scene without getting any results?
If you said yes to either of these questions, this article is for you; though some of the advice is also relevant for other kinds of game.
Bars and clubs are popular places to meet women and have several advantages. Many women go there in order to meet a man for a casual sexual encounter, and if you meet the right woman, you may go home with her in under 10 minutes. Yes, I’m not kidding.
But still, the realities in seduction at nighttime are rather harsh. Most guys do not succeed at all or have very inconsistent results; their interactions just result in rejection or being ignored. This is true for the average guy and it is regretfully very often also true for guys who are trying to learn seduction. But a few guys succeed more or less consistently, and today I’ll give you some pointers to becoming one of them, or at least get some results, if you’re currently not getting any at all.