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Articles by Chase Amante

How to Get Fast Sex and Pick Up Girls Quick

fast sexIn my last article, I talked about putting in your practice to get good with girls.

Let's take a break from all this practice, and grinding, and gradual improvement. What if you just want to hook up with a girl... as soon as possible?

One of the things we discussed last article was going out in 'make it happen mode', and how if you know what you're doing you can actually pull this off.

On my article "I'm Doing Everything to Succeed with Women but It's Still Not Working!", Bizzy comments:

But I have a question: have you ever done an article about how to get sex the fastest way, without doing dates, online dating, chatting and all that stuff? I mean like, only cold approach a woman and then having sex immediately?! I used to do this in my early 20s and was actually successful a few times, but now I am older and don't feel like approaching 100 women to get a few lays. I want to approach just a few women that I think I have a shot with and then close the deal. I am just lazy now, I am sick of dating, talking, pretending and all that. Women notice me, they smile and look at me but I really don't like to take them out on dates, I just would like to take them home and have fun, like when I see a hot girl in a store.

This is sort of one of the Holy Grails of seduction, and it's not usually something you will consistently pull off. So just be aware of that going in.

However, it is indeed something you can do.

Today, we're going to talk about it.

Pickup Practice

pickup practice
If you have a little trouble approaching (or sticking with it after the first few approaches), just switch yourself over to “pickup practice mode.”

There are three different 'going out modes' a guy can be in when he might meet girls:

  1. Just hanging out mode
  2. Make something happen mode
  3. Pickup practice mode

One of the major differentiators between different skill levels of seducer is what mode the guy gets 'hung up' in. Because to do truly well with women you want to be able to use all three.

Signs She Likes You: Puts Her Phone Down or Away

she puts her phone down
In a world where everyone’s noses are glued to their phones, a woman lowering her phone around you can be a telling sign she likes you.

Ever since smart phones became ubiquitous, guys on seduction forums have had a selection of similar questions/complaints:

  • "Girls are too absorbed in their phones to approach!"
  • "How do I get girls to take their head phones out?"
  • "I can't get approach invitations anymore, women don't even look up now!"

Several nights ago I walked down the street and marveled to myself at how ubiquitous it was: men and women of all ages, young and old alike, totally entranced by their smart phones. Smart phones aren't some 'young hip thing' that all the kids are on and the old folks haven't clued into. Everyone is.

Every solo person I passed on the street had his nose glued to a phone, or, in a few cases, didn't, but was talking to someone via earphones or a Bluetooth headset instead.

Even in some of the groups I passed, some or all of the people would have their phones out in front of them as they talked and laughed to friends.

That might seem like a major approach inhibitor if you came up in the old days where people were more, shall we say, present in their environment. How can you approach a girl when she's so occupied already?

I actually quite like the global smart phone addiction, for two reasons:

  1. It's a lot lower pressure to approach anywhere people have their phones out now (which is pretty much anywhere other than a dance floor these days), because bystanders are far more absorbed in their own cell phone adventures and pay even less attention to you

  2. You will find out pretty quick if she is going to be willing to ditch her phone to talk to you, or not. Which is about as big an obvious proceed/don't proceed sign as you're going to get (this makes it simpler to weed out the uninterested gals, who quickly return to their phones, from the interested ones, who zero in on you, or at least linger away from their phones)

However, I want to highlight one specific quirk of behavior you'll see with women on phones when they like you.

This is a sign a girl likes you that is pretty obvious once you're aware of it. You've likely seen it a bunch already, and are subconsciously aware of it. Well, now we're going to make it conscious, so you can act on it as soon as you see it.

That sign is that when she's awaiting your approach or engagement, she will put her phone down or sometimes may (gasp) put it away.

How to Seed Dates and Pulls Back Home

seed a date
It's easier to get a girl to agree to a date or to go to your place if what you suggest feels familiar to her. But how do you trigger that feeling of familiarity? By seeding your suggestion first.

Recently I spoke with a friend who's back in the field after some time off, trying to shake off the rust. He's gone on a lot of dates but had trouble closing the deal with girls. And he mentioned his usual process for getting alone with a woman right now.

What he's doing, typically, is taking girls on a date, then later going for a walk with them, only to 'just happen' to end up right outside his building. He'll then invite them up.

Except most of the time they balk. Other times they'll go up with him, but resist kissing, and leave soon after he kisses them or tries to. He started to wonder if he might not be asking women to make too big a decision ("Go into this guy's place and get intimate, yes or no?") on the spot.

So I reminded him about seeding.

Seeding is a tool you can use to make it easier to get women onto dates and back to your place (or you to theirs).

It works by making women feel 'familiar' with the thing you want to propose, by introducing it earlier, before the decision point. Seeding a request or invite before you make it removes the 'on the spot' feeling when you do propose something, so a woman does not feel as if she suddenly must decide whether or not to do something then and there.

If you know how to seed dates and pulls with women, and you seed often, you'll discover let-downs like my friend has, where you bring a woman by your place and invite her up, only to run into a 'no', largely evaporate. Instead you get girls to agree before you even start on your way, and find they're bought-in by the time you arrive.

Male vs. Female Mating Motivations Laid Bare

female mating motivations
You might think men and women approach mating in similar ways. And on some aspects they do. On others, they're very different.

We live in a world where we're constantly told men and women are interchangeable and that men's wants are women's wants and women's wants are men's. In some cases for some things this is true... but in many cases and for many things it isn't.

The trouble this error-filled belief system can lead to is multi-layered. If you have a girlfriend, a female friend, a friend-with-benefits, or wife you think is "just like you" whom you think thinks about things "just like I do" and whom you believe wants "all the same things I do", you'll be a lot more open to and uncritical toward her suggestions. That's fine for things where there is no conflict of interest between your and her life and mating motivations.

Where there is conflict, however, her positions may quickly mislead you... without you, if you hold this "men and women are basically the same and largely interchangeable" philosophy, even fully realizing you've allowed yourself to be misled.

It's crucial for your power and sanity as a man to realize that while a good woman's advice can often be prudent, it isn't always... and that there are differences between male and female motivations, and you must always keep these in mind.

You need to know when sex differences enter into play. And you need to be wary of when the counsel you receive may be biased against what is truly in your interests due to competing sexual interests.

Women with Small Dating Pools

dating poolOne of the things that dawns on you after years of cold approaching is that some women are much easier to date and bed than other women are. Further, it dawns on you that the factors that make a woman easier to date and bed are not always ones obvious to guys who don't approach a lot of women.

You learn counterintuitive truths like that very beautiful women are nicer and friendlier to strangers than mediocre-looking women are. Or that the most physically attractive women usually try to blend in more, while the most eye-catching women tend to be lower down on the looks scale but are far more deliberately flashy. You learn it's usually better to move faster than it is to wait around until some girl is 'ready' to date you (which, if it doesn't happen fast, most likely won't ever happen). You discover women have more respect for men who challenge them and ask them for favors than they do for men who go out of their ways to do favors for them.

You learn to look for signs a woman wants you to approach, as well as for signs you should stay away from her. You learn to tell how a girl shows interest in you and which women want you for sex.

Another thing you figure out, sooner or later, is how important the size of a woman's dating pool is to the odds you date or sleep with her.

Tactics Tuesdays: Back-to-Back Date Scheduling

back-to-back dates

Dates can be a major stressor for guys. Especially if you don't have  a lot of dates, or you put pressure on yourself, it can be hard to get out of that. Going out to meet new women can also be a big stressor. You can put a lot of pressure on yourself to succeed, and get in your head about it.

There's a neat little way you can make both of these a whole lot less stressing, however. It just takes a bit of scheduling to do.

If you use this scheduling tactic, it'll give you other benefits aside from the stress reduction. It'll let you give yourself multiple chances to succeed with women on any given day. Further, it'll let your later interactions piggyback on momentum from your earlier ones... and your earlier ones relax quite a bit because you know you have more coming up.

What the tactic is is to schedule dates and pickup time one after another on the same day.

Your Girlfriend's Love Language Might Be Different from Yours

love languages
You want to spend quality time together, but she'd rather do things for you she thinks you'll like? Different love languages can cause more issues than you'd think... until you realize they exist.

One of the most controversial articles on Girls Chase is my piece "Should You Pay for a Date?" My conclusion of that article was "No, you shouldn't pay. Not based on my experience. Not if you sleep with or date a gal." Many men and some women agreed with me. Many other women flipped out that I'd suggest not paying for women. Some men also said they found it odd or counterproductive. You can go read the comments on that article to see how hotly contested the issue was (and those comments kept coming for years).

For years after I wrote that piece I assumed the outraged women were outraged at the threat the article posed to the free rides they enjoyed. Who wouldn't be upset at the prospect of losing a quite literal meal ticket? That last thing a gal needs is a lot of guys reading that article, then cheapening up their dates and splitting the bills!

And while some female commentators clearly had that as their rationale, not all did. Some professed to genuinely see a paid-for date as an expression of how the man values them. I was aware there are women like this, but always considered them outliers. I assumed most women who fought for paid-dates were simply girls who'd been pampered and didn't like the threat they might lose that pampering.

Yet, there's a psychometric theory called 'love languages' that might also explain the controversy.

According to Gary Chapman's theory of love languages, wanting gifts isn't just that someone is or isn't spoiled.

Rather, different people actually primarily gauge how other people value them in very different ways. And just as some people like quality time most, and some people prefer touch, there are people for whom the primary way they feel valued is through gifts.

Does Sex Damage Women's Long-Term Potential?

sex damage women
Do you make a woman worse as a future girlfriend, wife, or mother when you go to bed with her? Many people think you do.

On my article about player guilt, Ben asked:

Could  you address the final issue that you bring- that sleeping with women  damages their ability to have long term relationships?

You made a fairly convincing case that emotionally, assuming you are  going to flirt and go out and attract women, not sleeping with them  isn't doing them any favors.

Maybe we really shouldn't be going out and flirting with most girls  (excluding the ones who need an emotional escape or similar i guess)  from an emotional standpoint?

More importantly though, how do you justify flirting with girls then  sleeping with them, knowing it damages their ability to have long term  relationships? This bothers me more than the emotional aspect.

-ben

The issue he's talking about was where I paraphrased some 'web wisdom' thrown about about women. Some of it says sex is liberating to women. Some says sex is violent, oppressive, and patriarchal. Some say sex is empowering. Some say it ruins women for the long-term. Those aren't my opinions; they are however common tropes you will run into on the Internet.

Ben's question, though, is one worth exploring... particularly as it ties into the concept of player guilt (which that article Ben commented on was about). If you sleep with a woman, are you damaging her future potential as a girlfriend, wife, and mother?

A growing movement online seems to have arrived at the conclusion "yes, sex damages women's futures."

The men who arrive at this conclusion though follow a chain of logic that proceeds thus:

  1. Women with higher numbers of sex partners are, on average, worse partners and mothers

  2. Therefore, when men have sex with women, they degrade women's abilities to be competent partners and mothers

While we do have plenty of evidence that women are less faithful the more partners they have, and we've all heard anecdotes of irresponsible man-crazy single mothers ditching their kids to chase the homme du jour, there's a big causal jump between those two points. This casual leap of faith is where guys trip themselves up.

That is to say, women with high partner counts are (on average) worse as mothers and partners. This is true.

Yet their partner counts are a symptom of what makes them worse in these roles -- partner count is not the cause.

And when you take a woman to bed, you are also not 'the cause'.

Tactics Tuesdays: Don't Trigger Her Analytical Side

analytical side

Everybody likes to assume men are the factual, analytical sex. But there's more to being factual and analytical than one's sex. Certain environments prime you to think in factual, analytical ways. Many of the women you meet are fresh out of these environments.

When a woman spends all day in an office or (to a lesser extent) a university, she can get mechanical in her thoughts. It takes some work to shake her out of that and get her into a playful, social mood. Along the way, you can trip yourself up by returning her to Fact Land.

In Fact Land, there's no such thing as a sexy man. Men can't be sexy when they concern themselves with facts. Can you factually, analytically define sexiness? Neither can she. Further, you need women out of a factual mindset to properly take them through seduction. Seduction consists of many counter-factual moments... like telling her "Let's get out of here, it's so noisy and boring" to get her back to your place. Well, it's actually more interesting in whatever stimulating environment you have her in. A woman in an emotional headspace who likes you will agree, because she'll be more interested in you than the environment. A woman in a factual headspace however will not see how going to your dull apartment is more interesting than a chaotic bar or street scene. You must guide her away from Fact Land into Feeling Land.

This week's Tactics Tuesday isn't about how to pull her completely out of facts and into feelings. That's a more involved process... one that involves doing things that make her feel, and helping her feel allowed to let down her protective wall of facts. This post is about not accidentally triggering her factual side while you're striving to awaken her feelings.