Why Women Claim "That Would Never Work on Me" Then It Does

You may have heard women say “That would never work on me” before.

Women generally say this about any kind of flirtation or seduction tactic they might hear about.

They say it about:

• Teasing
• Nicknames
• Takeaways
• Push-pull
• Negs
• Chase frames
• Touch escalation
• Imagination games
• Various kinds of ‘chick crack’

… you name it, really.

Basically, if it is something you do with women other than tell them you love them and pay for their dinner, there are women out there who will tell you it would “never work” on them.

Of course, if you’ve been around the block more than once, you know all these things DO work on women… and generally, the women who claim such things “would not work” on them tend to fall for this material even harder.

Why should it be so, though, that the things women say won’t work on them, actually do?

 

Women Are Intensely Concerned with Not Seeming ‘Easy’

Whether a woman is single or not single, horny or not horny, slutty or not slutty, just about every woman has the same thing in common:

She does not want people to view her as ‘easy’.

The truth is, you hear women claiming “that would never work on me” less today than you did 10 or 15 years ago. It used to be that any time men talked dating, mating, or seduction, some woman would pop her head in and announce “That would never work on me!” before running off again.

Partly, this is because the fear of being seen as ‘easy’ has actually lessened somewhat over the past decade.

As women become less afraid of guys thinking they are ‘easy’, they feel less driving need to make sure everyone knows they would never fall for some guy’s seduction techniques.

However, another reason women claim men’s flirtation tactics “would never work on me” less today is guys just are not approaching much anymore.

FLOW CHART OF DATE GETTING

Next time you see a hot girl all by herself in a coffee shop, at a bar, or wherever:

1️⃣ Ask yourself: “Would it be cool to have that girl naked in my bed?”
2️⃣ IF YES: go talk to her. Does she talk back?
3️⃣ IF YES: flirt with her a bit. Does she flirt back?
4️⃣ IF YES: ask her on a date. Does she agree?
5️⃣ IF YES: take her number down.

There you go. Now you have a date with a girl it would be cool to have naked in your bed.

No swiping on Hinge or doomscrolling Instagram required. pic.twitter.com/GsX2p9ohpc

— Girls Chase 🏃‍♀️💨 (@GirlsChase) April 23, 2025

When guys do approach now, they use extremely basic approaches and for the most part do not really try to flirt or seduce at all. Many won’t even talk to girls in-person and instead try to talk to them over messages later!

So it is also both the case that women are simply exposed to seduction techniques far less (and thus have not been exposed to as many untalented seducers fumbling through bad lines and moves… most guys aren’t even trying lines and moves anymore), and that, thanks to the ‘approach recession’, many women would welcome even fumbling attempts by men to flirt with them now.

Nevertheless, despite these shifts in culture, women still claim that things would never work on them, that absolutely do.

They still try to ‘advise’ men and steer them away from ‘bad advice’ that ‘will not work’, over to, instead, their ‘good advice’ (which usually consists of some variety of ‘be a nice guy’).

For reasons I will not restate, you should not be getting your dating advice from women.

READ MORE: Why Is Women's Advice for Men SO Bad?

Anyway:

When women are commenting on male seduction techniques, claiming that this or that technique would never work, they are not weighing that technique from an objective point of view, trying to consider the man’s goals, trying to imagine the full situation in which a man might use a technique, and give him reliable feedback he can use effectively with the women he desires.

Instead, they are nearly always thinking about it from a self-image standpoint, and asking themselves, “How would I look if people were to see me going along with a strategy like this?”

If a woman decides that going along with any specific approach or tactic would make her ‘look bad’ (i.e., too easy to sleep with, no strings attached), she WILL declare that it would “never work” on her!

Even if it absolutely would!

 

You Can Get Women to Agree or Disagree with Anything

Here’s what I have found over the years…

When you are talking with a woman in-person, assuming you are a reasonably seductive/persuasive man, and she is not a horrifically disagreeable woman, you can get her to agree with just about anything.

I typically refrain from discussing seduction techniques with women. It’s possible to do it effectively, and it can be an attraction amplifier (the few times I have actually discussed seduction with women, it has tended to, in fact, seduce them; but I dislike using this approach for reasons that are my own). However, when I have discussed them with women, and gotten the “that would never work on me” response, I have usually been able to redirect that into the same girl saying, “Okay, I could see that working on me, actually.”

What’s the difference? Why does a woman who says something wouldn’t work on her do a 180 and agree that it would?

Because of how you are painting pictures and evoking the scenario in her head.

When a woman hears a technique laid out in some dry, matter-of-fact way (typically: how a man describes his seduction techniques to other men), she imagines it being used on her in a dry, matter-of-fact way. Not seductive. Probably manipulative! Certainly something that wouldn’t work on a perceptive, knowledgeable woman with options like herself.

But if you describe it to her in a seductive way, and actually seduce her as you describe it, suddenly it becomes much easier for her to imagine the scenario in which the technique is used in a way that actually works on her.

Let’s take the granddaddy of all “That would never work on me!” seduction tactics: the neg. Almost every woman who hears about negs instantly turns her nose up about it, rejects it, and swears back and forth it wouldn’t work on her.

What is a neg? It’s a backhanded compliment; i.e., a compliment that isn’t actually a compliment. A veiled dig at her, in other words.

Negs are basically an unused old school pickup technique that got a bad name both inside the seduction community and outside of it by uncalibrated seducer wannabes running around negging women like crazy, pissing women off, then complaining that negs didn’t work.

The neg is the perfect combination of a technique that seems like it’s easy to understand, but is actually a technique that requires a fair amount of finesse to use, so it is very prone to misuse. And misuse it guys did. Almost nobody uses it now.

A neg is basically a tool to use for taking a woman down a peg who is trying to act superior to you. It is not something to come out guns blazing using on every girl you talk to. It is not even something to use on a girl just because she seems a little haughty. It’s something you use on girls who’ve gotten too big a head, generally from an excess of fawning male attention.

Mystery (the neg’s inventor) devised it for use in high-end clubs when talking to very hot women who’d had men hitting on them all night. How do you get past the ‘bitch shield’ a girl in an environment like that has up? Because you’re not going to do it with compliments (she’s been fielding those all night), free drinks (ditto), basic attempts to flirt (also ditto), or feigning disinterest (she knows you’re there for her). But if you neg her, you launch a 10-megaton pattern interrupt right at her frame, and get her thinking about you in a whole new light (i.e., “Huh? He’s not like the other boys…”).

I have once or twice debated the merits of negs with women, not because I was using them but because the girl brought it up for whatever reason. Here is how you switch her from “that would never work” to “okay, that would work”:

YOU: blah blah blah something about seducing girls.

HER: Is that like that book The Game? Negs? Haha, that stuff would never work on me.

YOU: A neg wouldn’t work on you?

HER: No way!

YOU: Do you know what a neg is?

HER: It’s when you say something insulting to a girl.

YOU: [laughs] No, that’s not a neg. That’s just an insult. A neg is a backhanded compliment. Like, “Nice nails. Are they real?” or “I love that shirt. My little brother has the same one.”

HER: That still wouldn’t work on me.

YOU: Do you know when you use a neg?

HER: I don’t know.

YOU: You use it in situations where the girl has been being hit on all night and is SUPER haughty.

HER: Really?

YOU: Have you ever been at a bar or a nightclub where guys were just hitting on you like crazy?

HER: Yeah.

YOU: All right. Imagine you’re at the club. You’re wearing something sexy. You’ve got your hair done. You’re standing with your girlfriends. Guys have been coming up to you all night, telling you you’re beautiful, offering to buy you drinks. You’re feeling like some pretty hot shit.

HER: Okay.

YOU: Then some guy comes up. He seems kinda cool; just all right. Not much different from the other guys who’ve been hitting on you all night. But he doesn’t hit on you. He ignores you. He just talks to your friends. He’s been talking to them for a couple minutes now, ignoring you. He finally says something to you but you’ve been getting hit on all night so you just sort of brush it off. Then he says, “That’s a great dress. Those were super in-vogue last year,” totally sincerely! Not in an insulting way at all. He’s just making a comment about your dress. Then he goes back talking to your friends. Let’s stop here and you tell me what you’re thinking about this guy.

HER: Uh, I’m thinking he probably doesn’t know anything about fashion, because if I’m wearing a dress it’s in-season. I’m also probably thinking this guy’s an asshole.

YOU: Do you think this guy is interested in you AT ALL?

HER: No. A guy who’s interested in me wouldn’t talk to me like that.

YOU: Okay. Stage One complete. This guy is not like the other guys who’ve been hitting on you all night.

HER: True.

YOU: In fact, he may well be the first guy you’ve had a real emotional response to all evening.

HER: I guess, yeah.

YOU: Now what if your friends really like this guy – this guy you’re thinking is just some ignorant asshole – and you’re starting to feel a bit left out.

HER: I’ll probably be wondering what’s so great about him to them.

YOU: Exactly. Now what if he suddenly pulls YOU into the conversation, and says he’s sorry, he’s been ignoring you, then asks you what’s your deal? What kind of stuff are you into?

HER: I’d probably tell him I like detective novels and doing crochet.

YOU: What if he was impressed you liked detective novels and you found out he had a few cool things of his own going on?

HER: I’d start to change my opinion of him a little bit, I guess.

YOU: Now what if he told your friends he wanted to borrow you for a second to get to know you a little better, and they said sure, and he invited you to go sit down with him?

HER: I mean, if he’s cool I guess I would go.

YOU: And there you go. You are now sitting one-on-one, vibing, flirting, talking, getting to know a guy who used a neg on you. THAT is how negs work.

HER: [laughs] Okay. I can see how that might work then. But did he really need the neg?

YOU: Guys were hitting on you ALL night. Anything he said or did with you without the neg you’d have interpreted in that light: “Okay, it’s just ANOTHER guy hitting on me. I’m used to it!” The neg is a pattern interrupt. It gets you OUT of that state, viewing him in a different light. Sure, you’re pissed off at him at first, but that’s the gateway into him then redeeming himself in your eyes by actually connecting with you later on, and now you see him much differently than all the other random guys there complimenting you and buying you drinks.

HER: That’s kind of amazing.

YOU: Isn’t it? Psychology is wild, huh?

HER: How do you even learn this stuff?

YOU: You become a student of human nature 😏

By pacing her reality and leading her through an imagined scenario in which you would actually use a neg and that neg would actually help you seduce, you can get a woman to conceptualize how the technique would actually work.

Changing her mind like this is actually a DHV (display of higher value) in and of itself:

• You disagree with her, rejecting her frame

• You then describe a reality she has experienced, showing you understand her world

• You paint a vivid picture for her, pulling her into your imagined reality

• You walk her through an emotional rollercoaster, causing her to experience those emotions too

• You use involvement testing the whole time, keeping her involved in the imagery

• You get her to imagine the sensations of being seduced (which hopefully you are anchoring to you)

• At last, you get her to change her opinion and buy into your frame; and the firmer her initial stance (and in this case, her initial stance was quite firm), the larger the investment she makes in you by switching stances to adopt your view

The handful of times I have done this with women, it’s led to very large and noticeable attraction spikes. You instantly adopt an authority frame over them: you understand how she as a woman works better than she understands herself.

This is just seduction + rhetoric. Teaching you to do this is not the point of this post, however (and, in fact, this is advanced game. This is not something you will be doing as a beginner, and you will probably not be able to pull it off effectively as an intermediate, either).

Instead, the reason I lay that all out for you is to SHOWCASE for you that the same girl who is saying “that would never work on me”, it would INDEED work on her, when used appropriately; and if explained appropriately enough, with the correct emotional evocation, an advanced playboy can even get her to agree it would work on her.

Thus: when women claim something would “never work” on them, it’s because they are imagining it being used in a way that is not seductive (hence triggering cognitive dissonance, because few women want to feel like they can be seduced by non-seductive ‘tricks’).

 

If She Says It Wouldn’t Work on Her, Just Smile and Nod

I have had women claim things wouldn’t work on them that already did:

• I’ve had women I met and seduced via cold approach tell me cold approach doesn’t work and men shouldn’t do it. If I point out that I met them via cold approach, they respond with something like, “Well I didn’t know you then!” (which is either womanese for “It was okay for you to cold approach me that time, because you and I needed to meet, but other men shouldn’t cold approach women, and you shouldn’t do it with other women!” or else “I should have rejected your cold approach if I knew any better!”).

• I’ve had women I’d been touching the whole time who had melted completely into my touch tell me they’re very aware when men are touching them and that they know when a guy is trying to get touchy and brush him off. If I point out that I’ve been touching them the whole time, they say, “Yeah but your touch is respectful” (even if I’ve been grabbing her ass or doing other naughty things).

• I’ve had women I had sex with on the first date tell me they’d never have sex with a man on the first date. When I point out that we had sex on the first date, they tell me, “That wasn’t a date!”

I could probably write you a longer list, but you get the idea.

Women will claim all the time that stuff wouldn’t work on them that absolutely, totally does.

What women are actually objecting to is some imagined dry, awkward, mechanical usage of a given approach or technique. They are not actually imagining it being used in proper seductive form, in a seductive situation, by a man who is seducing them.

So:

Do not worry overmuch about women telling you things would “never work on them.”

Almost anything will work on women – IF it’s done the RIGHT way!

Chase Amante

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