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\u0027ShowBlocks\u0027]\n]\n    ","enterMode":1,"shiftEnterMode":2,"toolbarStartupExpanded":true,"width":"100%","skin":"moono-lisa","format_tags":"p;div;pre;address;h1;h2;h3;h4;h5;h6","show_toggle":"t","default":"t","allowedContent":true,"ss":"2","loadPlugins":{"drupalbreaks":{"name":"drupalbreaks","desc":"Plugin for inserting Drupal teaser and page 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id=\u0022comment-89184\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n\u003Cdiv class=\u0022comment comment-by-anonymous well clearfix\u0022 about=\u0022\/comment\/89184#comment-89184\u0022 typeof=\u0022sioc:Post sioct:Comment\u0022\u003E\n      \u003Cdiv class=\u0022user-picture\u0022\u003E\n    \u003Cimg typeof=\u0022foaf:Image\u0022 class=\u0022img-responsive\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/default\/files\/pictures\/circle-guest-85x85.png\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/all\/modules\/contrib\/lazyloader\/image_placeholder.gif\u0022 alt=\u0022Housecard\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 title=\u0022Housecard\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 \/\u003E\u003Cnoscript\u003E\u003Cimg typeof=\u0022foaf:Image\u0022 class=\u0022img-responsive\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/default\/files\/pictures\/circle-guest-85x85.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Housecard\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 title=\u0022Housecard\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 \/\u003E\u003C\/noscript\u003E  \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \n    \u003Ch3 property=\u0022dc:title\u0022 datatype=\u0022\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/comment\/89184#comment-89184\u0022 class=\u0022permalink\u0022 rel=\u0022bookmark\u0022\u003EThat\u2019s exactly what folks say\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/h3\u003E\n  \n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022submitted\u0022\u003E\n            Posted by \u003Cspan rel=\u0022sioc:has_creator\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan class=\u0022username\u0022 xml:lang=\u0022\u0022 typeof=\u0022sioc:UserAccount\u0022 property=\u0022foaf:name\u0022 datatype=\u0022\u0022\u003EHousecard (not verified)\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E on Monday, 2 December 2019  \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022content\u0022\u003E\n    \u003Cspan rel=\u0022sioc:reply_of\u0022 resource=\u0022\/content\/never-count-woman-change-never-think-youll-change-her\u0022 class=\u0022rdf-meta element-hidden\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field field-name-comment-body field-type-text-long field-label-hidden\u0022\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field-items\u0022\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field-item even\u0022 property=\u0022content:encoded\u0022\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThat\u2019s exactly what folks say \u201cyou can\u2019t make a silk purse out of a sow\u2019s ear\u201d in relationships. That really goes for lots of other sorts of relationships; e.g. friends, hires, business partners, etc.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThese are the situations where we can walk away. That\u2019s a nice-to-have condition. As Trump puts it, \u201c always not be afraid to walk away\u201d. However, I wonder Chase, what if the other party we want to have changes happening are not the ones we can just avoid in life. For instance, children, maybe parents, and even ourselves. It pops to my mind, because it strikes me that my family is exactly as how you describe your ex\u2019s in the temper department. My paternal grandfather was very hot tempered. My father I felt has got calmer over the years as his career gets better, but still gets angry when others fail to meet his expectation (employees and in my eyes, me). In the past year or so I found out that I am pretty easy to get upset and angry, too, even though it is more internally and not \u201cbehaviorally\u201d, as I am in general on the avoidant side when it comes to relationships. I admire that you have dealt with depression successfully yourself. What are your strategies and tactics over the years to improve the deal breakers of somewhat innate traits of yourself? What if it\u2019s your child who by chance happen to have that very undesirable trait? For me the things I am trying to change are addiction, fantasy and depression, and I wonder what if one day my children have them, too. You are what I perceive very practical and very hands-on when it comes to changing yourself and self-improvement. What would you advise for people who are on the other side of the spectrum (i.e. idealistic, head-in-the-clouds, spending lots of time fantasizing, or even obstinate, as you call it, \u201chard cases\u201d)?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E      \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022pull-right\u0022\u003E\u003Cul class=\u0022links list-inline\u0022\u003E\u003Cli class=\u0022comment-reply first last\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/comment\/reply\/3162\/89184\u0022\u003Ereply\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003Ca id=\u0022comment-89191\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n\u003Cdiv class=\u0022comment comment-by-anonymous well clearfix\u0022 about=\u0022\/comment\/89191#comment-89191\u0022 typeof=\u0022sioc:Post sioct:Comment\u0022\u003E\n      \u003Cdiv class=\u0022user-picture\u0022\u003E\n    \u003Cimg typeof=\u0022foaf:Image\u0022 class=\u0022img-responsive\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/default\/files\/pictures\/circle-guest-85x85.png\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/all\/modules\/contrib\/lazyloader\/image_placeholder.gif\u0022 alt=\u0022Lawliet\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 title=\u0022Lawliet\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 \/\u003E\u003Cnoscript\u003E\u003Cimg typeof=\u0022foaf:Image\u0022 class=\u0022img-responsive\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/default\/files\/pictures\/circle-guest-85x85.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Lawliet\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 title=\u0022Lawliet\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 \/\u003E\u003C\/noscript\u003E  \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \n    \u003Ch3 property=\u0022dc:title\u0022 datatype=\u0022\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/comment\/89191#comment-89191\u0022 class=\u0022permalink\u0022 rel=\u0022bookmark\u0022\u003EWhen multiple girls like you at a temporary repeated encounter\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/h3\u003E\n  \n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022submitted\u0022\u003E\n            Posted by \u003Cspan rel=\u0022sioc:has_creator\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan class=\u0022username\u0022 xml:lang=\u0022\u0022 typeof=\u0022sioc:UserAccount\u0022 property=\u0022foaf:name\u0022 datatype=\u0022\u0022\u003ELawliet (not verified)\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E on Tuesday, 3 December 2019  \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022content\u0022\u003E\n    \u003Cspan rel=\u0022sioc:reply_of\u0022 resource=\u0022\/content\/never-count-woman-change-never-think-youll-change-her\u0022 class=\u0022rdf-meta element-hidden\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field field-name-comment-body field-type-text-long field-label-hidden\u0022\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field-items\u0022\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field-item even\u0022 property=\u0022content:encoded\u0022\u003E\u003Cp\u003EHey Chase,\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EA question for you. Repeated encounter as in a situation where you will see them again (but not every day, so not employees or a social circle). Maybe at work you see customers who repeatedly come, but not always, or at a temporary project that you meet a group of people until the project ends.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIn a situation where the encounter is repeated but not permanent (forming a quasi-social circle situation), and many girls show signs of interest and we already are chatting with a girl. \u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHow do we continue to connect with our current prospect, but also keeping other options open? Or even better, be able to number swap with all girls who like us, and meet them individually.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI worry that\u003Cbr \/\u003E\na) Other girls who see us talking with Girl A will think \u0022Oh, he\u0027s unavailable\u0022 and \u0022stop\u0022 their emotions or go into auto reject\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nb) Girl A see us flirting with other girls will think \u0022Oh he is just being sociable\u0022 and close off from us.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nc) We can\u0027t break circle when we are talking with Girl A while other girls are sending signals...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EUh oh, time is ticking for other girls sending signals...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELike how I was talking with Girl A, and another girl plants right next to me and just sits there waiting.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nI can\u0027t switch and break circle with A to engage with Girl B in this situation and then go back to Girl A.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nI ended up not getting a chance to exchange names with Girl B... I feel bad that she misses out on the fun.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe dilemma is if we play our cards wrong, we can lose all girls and get no one.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHow do we handle similar situations? How do you usually do it?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThanks,\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nLawliet\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E      \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022pull-right\u0022\u003E\u003Cul class=\u0022links list-inline\u0022\u003E\u003Cli class=\u0022comment-reply first last\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/comment\/reply\/3162\/89191\u0022\u003Ereply\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003Ca id=\u0022comment-89196\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n\u003Cdiv class=\u0022comment comment-by-anonymous well clearfix\u0022 about=\u0022\/comment\/89196#comment-89196\u0022 typeof=\u0022sioc:Post sioct:Comment\u0022\u003E\n      \u003Cdiv class=\u0022user-picture\u0022\u003E\n    \u003Cimg typeof=\u0022foaf:Image\u0022 class=\u0022img-responsive\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/default\/files\/pictures\/circle-guest-85x85.png\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/all\/modules\/contrib\/lazyloader\/image_placeholder.gif\u0022 alt=\u0022FredJ\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 title=\u0022FredJ\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 \/\u003E\u003Cnoscript\u003E\u003Cimg typeof=\u0022foaf:Image\u0022 class=\u0022img-responsive\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/default\/files\/pictures\/circle-guest-85x85.png\u0022 alt=\u0022FredJ\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 title=\u0022FredJ\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 \/\u003E\u003C\/noscript\u003E  \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \n    \u003Ch3 property=\u0022dc:title\u0022 datatype=\u0022\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/comment\/89196#comment-89196\u0022 class=\u0022permalink\u0022 rel=\u0022bookmark\u0022\u003EHi Chase,\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/h3\u003E\n  \n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022submitted\u0022\u003E\n            Posted by \u003Cspan rel=\u0022sioc:has_creator\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan class=\u0022username\u0022 xml:lang=\u0022\u0022 typeof=\u0022sioc:UserAccount\u0022 property=\u0022foaf:name\u0022 datatype=\u0022\u0022\u003EFredJ (not verified)\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E on Thursday, 5 December 2019  \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022content\u0022\u003E\n    \u003Cspan rel=\u0022sioc:reply_of\u0022 resource=\u0022\/content\/never-count-woman-change-never-think-youll-change-her\u0022 class=\u0022rdf-meta element-hidden\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field field-name-comment-body field-type-text-long field-label-hidden\u0022\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field-items\u0022\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field-item even\u0022 property=\u0022content:encoded\u0022\u003E\u003Cp\u003EHi Chase,\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EGreat article. I have a question about this, though: What\u0027re your thoughts on women who have depressive disorder and anxiety disorder Those aren\u0027t cluster B traits, but I suspect they could be major issues. I dated a girl with both of these and it ultimately led to our break up. She had a major breakdown couldn\u0027t juggle her mental health and a relationship. I\u0027d love to hear your opinion on how to deal with this in women.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThanks,\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nFred\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E      \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022pull-right\u0022\u003E\u003Cul class=\u0022links list-inline\u0022\u003E\u003Cli class=\u0022comment-reply first last\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/comment\/reply\/3162\/89196\u0022\u003Ereply\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003Ca id=\u0022comment-89362\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n\u003Cdiv class=\u0022comment comment-by-anonymous well clearfix\u0022 about=\u0022\/comment\/89362#comment-89362\u0022 typeof=\u0022sioc:Post sioct:Comment\u0022\u003E\n      \u003Cdiv class=\u0022user-picture\u0022\u003E\n    \u003Cimg typeof=\u0022foaf:Image\u0022 class=\u0022img-responsive\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/default\/files\/pictures\/circle-guest-85x85.png\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/all\/modules\/contrib\/lazyloader\/image_placeholder.gif\u0022 alt=\u0022Zack\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 title=\u0022Zack\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 \/\u003E\u003Cnoscript\u003E\u003Cimg typeof=\u0022foaf:Image\u0022 class=\u0022img-responsive\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.girlschase.com\/sites\/default\/files\/pictures\/circle-guest-85x85.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Zack\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 title=\u0022Zack\u0026#039;s picture\u0022 \/\u003E\u003C\/noscript\u003E  \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \n    \u003Ch3 property=\u0022dc:title\u0022 datatype=\u0022\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/comment\/89362#comment-89362\u0022 class=\u0022permalink\u0022 rel=\u0022bookmark\u0022\u003EHi Chase,\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/h3\u003E\n  \n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022submitted\u0022\u003E\n            Posted by \u003Cspan rel=\u0022sioc:has_creator\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan class=\u0022username\u0022 xml:lang=\u0022\u0022 typeof=\u0022sioc:UserAccount\u0022 property=\u0022foaf:name\u0022 datatype=\u0022\u0022\u003EZack (not verified)\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E on Monday, 27 January 2020  \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022content\u0022\u003E\n    \u003Cspan rel=\u0022sioc:reply_of\u0022 resource=\u0022\/content\/never-count-woman-change-never-think-youll-change-her\u0022 class=\u0022rdf-meta element-hidden\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field field-name-comment-body field-type-text-long field-label-hidden\u0022\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field-items\u0022\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022field-item even\u0022 property=\u0022content:encoded\u0022\u003E\u003Cp\u003EHi Chase,\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nat work, I used to step out of the company to take a lunch break alone, but then I switched to using our company restaurant. It didn\u0027t feel right to sit by yourself and have lunch, and it didn\u0027t feel \u0027normal\u0027 to join and sit with some group either since all groups are closed circles (even though I personally know everyone in that group). So, I asked my (female) colleague with whom I share the office to come along with her and two of her (female) friends and go to the restaurant together as a group. After some time (a month or so) girls who normally would smile nervously at me (80% of all girls at least, and even guys who see me as competition), now hate my guts and turn their heads away to \u0027make a statement\u0027 when ever they can. Some of them are just being passive-aggressive (they still look at me, but the look is now full of anger), to even openly threaten me with by directly telling me \u0027you better start behaving yourself\u0027.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nSince any effort, based on what\u0027s written in the article above, to explain myself that I only go with my colleague and two of her friends to a lunch break to purely fulfill the objective of being social, I was wandering if there is anything I could do to take some heat out of the situation, or to just wait until the shit storm starts to yield down by itself. Or, was there something that I could have done prior to the situation started to escalate?\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nThanks a bunch, guys!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E      \u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \u003Cdiv class=\u0022pull-right\u0022\u003E\u003Cul class=\u0022links list-inline\u0022\u003E\u003Cli class=\u0022comment-reply first last\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/comment\/reply\/3162\/89362\u0022\u003Ereply\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003C\/div\u003E\n\n  \u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003C\/dev\u003E\u003C\/dev\u003E\u003Cdev class=\u0022comment-form ajax-comment-form\u0022\u003E\u003Cdiv id=\u0022comments\u0022 class=\u0022comment-wrapper\u0022\u003E\n  \n  \n      \u003Ch4 class=\u0022title comment-form\u0022\u003ELeave a Comment\u003C\/h4\u003E\n    \u003Cform class=\u0022comment-form user-info-from-cookie\u0022 action=\u0022\/comment\/reply\/3162\u0022 method=\u0022post\u0022 id=\u0022comment-form\u0022 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required.\u0022\u003E*\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/label\u003E\n2 + 0 = \u003Cinput class=\u0022form-control form-text required\u0022 title=\u0022Solve this simple math problem and enter the result. 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