Female Mind

Lovers are skilled in the game of love. But do they ALWAYS win? If not… then is being the lover still really the best path to succeeding with girls?

In a recent article of mine, I mentioned scenarios where the lover may not get the girl.

Instead, she might spurn the lover, finding him unattainable despite whatever attractive qualities he may have, and instead pair up with a much safer man, better known to her and better trusted, albeit less exciting.

This triggered some confusion in a reader, who asked whether the lover didn’t always get the girl, and whether it was actually better to be the lover.

In case you’re new, a few quick definitions are in order:

• ‘Lover’, in our parlance, refers to the sexually desirable mate choice with uncertain future prospects. The sexy, flirtatious bad boy who seems quite attractive but also seems like he’s not exactly boyfriend material being a prime example of such a man. When she’s not interested in such men, a woman won’t usually try to friend zone them (since she won’t be able to); instead, she’ll just reject them

• ‘Provider’, in our parlance, is a man who courts her by going the ‘safe route’: he advertises his dependability, reliability, and consistency; his motto might well be “You can count on me.” He isn’t sexy, the way the dangerous, inconstant bad boy is… but for a girl in need of a safe, stable place to take shelter, he may be just the refuge she seeks. The rest of the time, however, the friend zone will tend to be his home

Anyway, the short answer to our commenter is that no, the lover does not always win the game of love. Sometimes the nice guy provider who’s hung so reliably by her side, and courted her with such ongoing dedication, finally does get the girl… leaving any lovers who may have pursued her out in the cold.

Yet, the lover angle is still the savvier angle to pursue for any man who possesses the energy to pursue it, for numerous key reasons – reasons any man who’s serious about romantic success does well to understand.

Women often seem to have high standards for men. But why? Evolution suggests an answer: it benefits their DNA. Yet there’s more to it than just this…

Women’s too high standards have been a topic of discussion on this site many times over the years. We had the whole ongoing discussion about it last year, but we talked about it far before then too.

The position I have repeatedly many times is that women have high standards and have always had high standards. Arguing that ‘high female standards’ is some kind of new phenomenon is just more of the same historical ignorance you see with ‘any phenomenon X is a new phenomenon’. As King Solomon said, there is nothing new under the sun.

Watch old movies or TV shows or read old books and be amazed at how high the professed standards of the women are. Women, in all times and all places, maintain standards higher than men’s.

Every woman wants the perfect man: good-looking, wealthy, popular, and skilled.

No matter if she herself is far from perfect.

Why is this, though? Shouldn’t women be more realistic?

Lying is one of those things people get really irate about at times.

Everybody does. Guys do when girls do it. Girls get really upset about guys doing it to them, too.

This is just a human thing… telling lies… yet SOME people do it a lot more than OTHERS.

How do you know if the girl you’re talking to is as honest as they come… or if she’s a conniving little scamp?

Furthermore, why DO girls lie – and is there anything you can do to dissuade them from it?

So, your woman caught you red-handed. What can you do? Cry? Beg? Return fire? Don’t do any of that. Follow this 6-step process instead to handle it with minimal casualties.

Here's a fun topic!

Sooner or later, you're going to do something naughty, and some girl somewhere will catch you.

What should you do?

Should you:

• Beg?
• Cry?
• Plead?
• Fly into a rage?
• Something else dramatic?

No! None of those things.

Instead, you must own it, remain chill, and wait for emotion to subside.

Guys with good jobs have a lot of good stuff going on. But, quite often, success with women isn’t one of them. Why is this so? For several reasons.

We had a discussion on the Skilled Seducer forum recently where we talked about how a successful career intersects with a man's ability to succeed with women.

I shared my experience, as both a guy with a good corporate job, then as a guy with various artistic jobs, finally as a guy who was unemployed, and then again later as an entrepreneur, and how I found women reacted to that.

Basically: good corporate job or successful entrepreneur are the hardest things to present yourself as if you want to pick up girls. You are much better off being an artist or unemployed.

I figured this out pretty early on and presented myself as an artist even when I had a well-paying corporate job at a prestigious company. I simply avoided telling women about this... well, if I had any kind of sexual or romantic designs on them.

Why should this be so, though? Why would women be more attractive to an artist, or even an unemployed guy, than one who's holding down a solid, stable 9-to-5 at a respectable, well-known company, or forging his own path as an entrepreneur?

If she’s hot, sane, never-married, and under 30, it’s good odds she’s never experienced major heartbreak. Why’s this good? It means you can still be her first real, deep love.

On my article "How to Be the Best Guy a Girl's Ever Dated," a reader named Lobster asks:

How many do you think [out of] 10 [girls] have had an exceptional man? And how does [this rate] change [as they] age? Thinking about it, however, the strongest are born already from young people and probably almost all who have had relationships will have someone in their hearts since when they are young they have a lot of time to spend together

I initially read his comment as "what do you think about 10-out-10 girls who have had an exceptional man", before I realized he was asking what portion of women on average have had one.

In this article I'd like to talk about why women hung up on their exceptional exes -- 'alpha widows' is the term that gets used for this a lot (I like this term; it has a nice ring) -- are not really as common as you might think, and why that means the playing field is wide open for you if you are (or are willing to turn yourself into) an exceptional man.

Taming a man is a lot of work. How do women decide which men are worth the trouble? There’s two things they look at: how tamable they are… and how tameworthy.

A principle challenge for any woman in life is in taming the man she's set her sights on to tame.

While the most tameworthy men busy themselves in their principle challenges of various life pursuits, with little interest on being tamed by a woman, women must find a way to insert themselves ahead of busy men's varied objects and wrest men into tamed relationships.

This is no small task for a woman. Because of the huge amount of time and energy the taming of an untamed man demands, and the risk inherent in the process (i.e., that she may not succeed in taming him, and instead only waste time -- time she could've spent taming another man to build a life and family with; time she won't get back), nature forces women to be selective in the men they choose to attempt taming.

In this installment, the second in our series on how women tame men, we will look at how women decide which men appear 'tameworthy', as well as what can rule men out.