Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Can Pickup and Seduction Have a Higher Purpose than Just Hedonism?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

seduction higher purpose
If you could no longer pick up chicks and put your dick in them, would you have a reason to live? Well, that happened to me (for two weeks), and here’s what I discovered.

Hey guys, and welcome back. Last week I discussed hedonism as it relates to pickup and seduction.

Here's a link to that article if you haven't had a chance to read it yet:

Pickup and seduction are often seen as a hedonistic activity (which I do not disagree with) since they focus on the short-term and superficial pursuit of pleasure. Hedonism is often seen as the desire to acquire initial satisfaction with a lack of long-term satisfaction.

Some criticize hedonism when considering these points.

In my previous article, we discussed whether this hedonistic aspect of seduction was harmful and whether it was morally wrong. We concluded that it was not wrong if you considered it a hobby or a leisure activity.

Everyone in well-functioning societies has incorporated hedonistic activities into their daily lives. It could be drinking with friends, eating unhealthy food occasionally, going bowling, playing pool, or something else.

We separate work and leisure. We work hard, then get some time off to enjoy fun spare-time activities. We need to see pickup and seduction as just that, and there is nothing wrong with that.

But some have been into this for a long time, and others get so obsessed that it becomes central to their identity. Some see pickup and seduction as a lifestyle choice. If this sounds like you, this post is for you.

Learning Seduction: 7 Words of Wisdom for the Slow Mechanical Learner

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

learn pickup seduction
Do you feel like learning seduction is taking too long and failure comes too often? You might be a mechanical learner like me. If so, here’s what you should know.

The learning curve with women, pickup, and seduction isn’t smooth for every guy.

Some start learning, have a few wins, then quit forever once they’ve found a good (or good enough) girl. Others start early in life and get good quickly with concentrated effort. Others start later and also get good fast.

Still others are naturals who have some experience when they begin learning game methods. There are even those who are so fascinated with game that they dissect it thoroughly, immerse themselves, and even surpass their woman goals!

This article is geared for the mechanical learner that Chase talks about in his article on the Three Sorts of Lady Killers. The mechanical learner is defined as a slow but deliberate learner. He’s the guy who puts forth a constant effort and succeeds when he doesn’t quit, facing mountains of failures, rejections, and setbacks to his methods before he finally figures it out, moving on to his next sticking point.

You might see this person make 1,000 approaches and only succeed with 1, yet he’ll keep going. Maybe three years later, you’ll see him as a master in his approaches, but now he’s stuck at the texting phase, and trying to get girls out on dates. A few years later, he’ll have mastered that, and now he repeatedly fails at escalation and last-minute resistance (LMR) at home.

The mechanic is quite rare, but that doesn't mean his methodology is inferior. He continually makes mistakes at the beginning of learning any skill, and by sheer practice and willpower, working through failures, he perfects his style. He uses his previous failures as models for facilitating success in the new model.

Many will not relate to this article. I want to be clear that in no way is this system any kind of limiting belief. It’s simply a different process of learning. If you’re this type of person, you will quickly realize as you’re reading the archetypes that this is you. And if you’re not this person, it’s unlikely you’ll relate.

Women Resist Intimacy When They Feel They Have No Influence

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

resistance to sex
Women love sex, but they can resist it for all sorts of reasons. In this article, we discuss why a girl needs to feel some control and inject her influence into a seduction.

You are getting physically intimate with a girl in a club, things are escalating rapidly, and suddenly you realize you can’t keep going or you’ll have to take off your clothes and go at it in the club.

What do you do?

To get to this point, check out my recent articles on club game if you haven't already:

Most will say “Ah, whatever” and take what they can get, try to deal with it once they hit the wall, and hope the girl wants to go home with him.

Honestly, this isn’t the worst idea, since you have already done a lot right, and she might forgive a few mistakes here and there.

However, most girls will throw up their defenses during escalation, and if you are unprepared, they will catch you flat-footed and end the relationship before it begins.

So it pays to dot your ‘i’s and cross your ‘t’s and get the last part of the escalation right.

6 Things You Must Do Before You Find Your Calling

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

find your calling
Will you be content if you find your calling? Since we're wired to always want more than what we have, maybe not. But these 6 things will at least make life interesting.

You want to find your calling or your purpose, but have no idea where to start? If you’ve ever thought about this, you’re a rare phenomenon. The vast majority of people never strive for anything more than filling their bellies and maybe going on a two-week vacation once a year.

Perhaps you’re bored, lonely, or broke, and that’s why you want to find your calling. Because if you were challenged, entertained, and enlightened, you wouldn’t be going through existential angst. You’d be happy with yourself and your life, and everything would be damn perfect, right?

Slash Your "On-Date" Learning Curve in HALF... with Girls Chase 'Practice Date' Coaching

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

lockdown coaching
Rapidly improve your conversation, vibe management, and flirtation with our newest coaching offer. Meet with your coach… then meet with your DATE… and compare notes after.

There's a new kind of coaching in town, and it's set to get you bowling your dates over right in their chairs in the coffee shop or restaurant.

First off though:

  • Have you ever taken a girl out, only to have things start well... yet go south... and as you walked away at the end of the date, certain you'd never see that girl again, you had no idea why?

  • Do you ever run out of things to say to dates (and end up with that super awkward feeling that you're watching your shot with this girl die in real time)?

  • Or do you sometimes mishandle the vibe (and suddenly a date that felt fine two minutes ago feels completely weird or off kilter)?

  • Have you ever been on a date where no matter what you tried, you just couldn't get you and the girl to 'click'? You talked, and she talked, and she offered plenty of polite laughter to your jokes... yet both of you knew you were just killing time out of politeness, rather than any kind of legitimate shared connection.

These things are maddening when they happen. And for some guys, they happen a lot.

Even if they only happen to you sometimes, you still want them to not occur.

The good news is, if you go on enough dates, you will figure it out eventually... probably...

However, the even better news is rather than take 6 months or a year to fix those problems, you can put that process on rocket boosters instead.

The way you do that is with coaching and practice, tied together, working together, to let you zero in on exactly what you need to do differently -- then get you doing it.

To give you exactly this, I've assembled an A-team of Girls Chase coaches... PLUS a bevy of lovely, fetching 20-something gals I've handpicked to serve as your 'practice dates' to let you get this stuff DOWN.

The chats are real. The feedback is real. The coaching is deep.

And the dating learning curve you're on, once you're on this program, gets SLASHED in half (or even less).

Considerate Ultimatums for Romantic Relationships

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

considerate ultimatums
At times you'll hit an impasse with a long-term partner. You could breakup. You could submit to her desires. Or… you could give her an ultimatum, in a considerate way.

In relationship advice world, there is little more poorly regarded than the ultimatum.

Ultimatums are alternately floated as tools of heartless controllers, and of desperate weaklings clutching at straws. They are both tools of the too-strong and of the too-weak.

No healthy relationship could ever include such things, the experts say.

What the experts really mean is no equal relationship could contain such things.

What they rarely ever tell you is no relationship is ever 'equal'. There is always a party in the lead role -- it might be you, or it might be your gal.

The ultimatum, frankly, gets a bad rap.

While I agree you should compromise on what you reasonably can, there are indeed deal breaker issues you will encounter in every relationship.

And regardless what the experts say about compromise, sometimes compromise can't cut it. There simply is no compromise on some issues -- either things go how you want them to or they go how she does.

Perhaps you ought to just split up when that happens. Many couples do -- it's why the breakup rate and divorce rate are so sky high. Those who divorce their first spouses have an even higher chance of divorcing their second; and those who divorce their second a still higher chance of divorcing their third.

Perhaps there's another way to deal with deal breaker situations.

One in which you present an ultimatum, that is not a heartless ultimatum, but instead one where you get what you want, while trying your best to help her also get as close as possible to what she does too -- which often isn't always what she insists upon at first.

Is It Moral to Be a Hedonist?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

is hedonism moral
Many guys who learn pickup and seduction struggle with the morality of living a hedonistic lifestyle. This is a legitimate dilemma, so let’s get philosophical.

Hey guys. Welcome back. Today I will take a step away from the technical posts and share more of a reflection.

Over the years, I've seen that the philosophy of picking up women and seduction is closely related to hedonism. Both defenders and critics have used the hedonist argument to both praise and criticize pickup.

Pickup is viewed as hedonistic because the element of pleasure, or more importantly, short-term sensual pleasure is central. Some, including our own Hector Castillo, have presented some solid analysis on the main blog and the forum.

I would like to give you my take on the subject. Honestly, I doubt my opinion will differ much from Hector’s, but I may add some different perspectives.

Some questions we will try to answer are:

Whether or not you agree with my points is irrelevant. The purpose of this post is to offer another perspective that may help you evaluate your values and perhaps even challenge your ethical system so that you may come out stronger.

How to 'Evoke' Touch with Girls in Clubs

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

how to touch girls in clubs
A great way to initiate touch in a club is to make her anticipate and desire it before it happens. You can do this with your vibe, eye contact, body language, and more.

In my previous two articles, I discussed the right kind of touch and awareness you need when in a club. Today I’ll tell you how to combine these two ideas into moves so you can get physical with ease.

Here are those articles:

I’ve explained that women have an awareness radius of five meters or so and line of sight to areas like other sections of the club, walkways, bars, and entrances. Their awareness radius lets them track you (if they feel their tracking you will be interpreted positively by you and others). If you want to convey intent via subcommunication and body language cues, you need to give to her the impression that you favor the idea of her tracking you.

Combining this with the goal of touch becomes “creating an experience by evoking the sensation of touch through anticipation rather than contact.”

Interesting idea. But how is it accomplished?

Tactics Tuesdays: Interest Bait

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

interest bait
When she's just about to reject you… or she isn't, but the conversation's grown stale… or you just need a boost… break out the 'interest bait', and suck her back in.

Wanna know something you're sure to find useful with girls?

By asking an intriguing question, or making an intriguing yet unfinished statement, you can draw someone in.

You can use this 'interest bait' to prop up slumping conversations. It's also great as a boost to otherwise okay interactions that could benefit from stronger energy.

Questions and statements like these serve as a powerful tactic for transitions from one conversation topic to another, too.

Such a tactic can even let you stop in her tracks a woman who's about to walk away (as I discussed in a few examples in my article last week on women who are closed off or impossible).

This is a simple tactic to use.

It also isn't anything new. I've used plenty of such questions and statements in my examples in articles throughout the years, as have the other authors here. Alek Rolstad makes good use of interest bait in his excellent 9-part series on hooking girls in, which any serious student of seduction owes a read.

Additionally, simply by using interest bait you set yourself up as a sort of authority (which is in itself attractive).

That's because, usually, the only people who talk this way are people in authority positions. So long as it comes across congruent, interest bait is powerful to use.

Yet few men use it. You ought to be among them.

How to Win at Seduction: Maximize Strengths and Minimize Weaknesses

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

seduction success
Not all men are born lady killers. Lucky for us, the seduction community has proven time and again that even YOU can get hot girls by focusing on what you can control.

Because most guys haven’t had success "just being themselves," they think verbal game is the only essential skill in seduction. There’s no possibility that a girl may be waiting to meet a guy who looks like you, right? You’re not good looking, or tall, or rich. There’s zero chance that she may be single, bored, lonely, or horny, and you’re just her type at the right time and place?

It’s the men who don’t try often enough who are the first to cry “Only looks matter!” They have inner-game issues related to their self-image (e.g., I’m ugly). So, I get them to record audio of their approaches with their phones, and unsurprisingly, their conversations are boring: no emotion, no insights, just surface level small talk. Then they wonder why they’re getting phone numbers, but not dates. It must be because they’re so ugly, they figure.

I also get these eccentric guys. They show up dressed like bums, or clowns, with nose hairs jutting out, loose, dirty clothing, or fashion from 1996 hip hop culture. They never run out of things to say, and their conversations are anything but boring. They also believe they’re the most handsome of all men. They have astronomical self-esteem. But the women don’t want anything to do with them because they feel embarrassed being seen with these guys.

So as a coach, I quickly slot men into categories:

And so forth.

Every man can improve himself. But he has to believe it’s possible and be willing to put in the effort.

seduction success

As far as these low-self-esteem cases, the one thing they have in common is that they’re “not enough.” They’re just not good enough (in their minds) to get the hot girls. They’re not good-looking enough, and they just don’t know what to say. They think if they could correct one of those issues, then everything would turn around for them.

That’s what they tell themselves, anyway. If they were better looking and had game, everything would work out. Well, isn’t that why we’re learning this stuff? Because we’re not all born handsome and witty?

It’s how I used to think, too: I wasn’t good enough for hot girls. I was too short, too fat, too skinny, too young, too old, too plain, and I had to talk myself attractive. Once I discovered the pickup community, it was like being handed a magic wand. All I had to do was practice these tactics and techniques, so I’d finally know exactly what to say to girls. Now, almost 14 years later, I still have no idea what to say to girls to get them to like me. But I’m a lot more confident, and women like that trait.

Here’s the truth about “Game.” As a science, it was made for average, frustrated chumps. Not good-looking, social geniuses.

We’ve learned: