Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Calibrate to the Venue: The 3 Styles of Night Game

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

night game
Different types of nightlife venues require you to switch up how you approach new girls. The social, sniper, and fire-at-will strategies all work best in different settings.

Today’s subject is something I have been thinking about a great deal lately, something I have noticed that has had a great impact on the way I do things. I have been travelling a lot this summer – ranging from Stockholm, Oslo, Bucharest, to Krakow. As a result of these travels, I had to deal with different cultures, girls, and social codes. But what is of more interest is how I had to deal with new clubs.

A very common tendency for us night gamers is that we find a few spots we happen to truly like, then we refer to those as pussy goldmines. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this in regards to the actual “getting laid” process, but it can limit your learning curve. Being able to deal with different venues is key, and you learn a lot from it. This posts is about those lessons.

Before I move on, I want to make it clear that there are no perfect venues – all venues have their “shit factor”, but some venues are simply easier and better than others. I have written numerous posts on the subject before. I suggest you check out these links as well:

This post is more about how one can calibrate to different venues. Yes, different venues can require a whole different approach. I have discussed this before regarding big vs. small venues and chaotic vs. more chilled venues, and I concluded that chaotic venues will affect a girl’s state, which may make her horny from the get-go, but they can also cockblock you as a result of the many wildcards caused by the chaos. I have also mentioned how big, chaotic venues can make girls more defensive. You there have to either:

On a side note, smaller, more chill venues allow for a tighter form of game. Girls are more open as they are more in control over the situation; they can see where their friends are and do not have to be afraid of losing them. They also feel their friends are nearby and within their periphery, which creates a form of control. Additionally, as a result of being more relaxed and less chaotic, there are fewer wildcards. This allows you to go in more smoothly. Going in smooth is not something you CAN do, it’s something you MUST do, because as a result of people being more aware of their surroundings, a rejection can lead to negative social proof, as people can see you strike out. On a different side note, successful approaches can create a snowball effect.

Keep all this in mind throughout this post, as it will be key info for what is to come. I believe there are 3 different ways to approach night game:

  • Social game

  • Sniping

  • Fire-at-will

Different venues will allow for different modes. I will break each of these down, discussing what they mean, then cover which types of venues fit for each strategy.

How to Use Sex Talk in Day Game

Daniel Adebayo's picture

By: Daniel Adebayo

sex talk in day game
Sex talk is a powerful technique to turn women on. But is there a way to use it outside nighttime venues? How do you use it in day game?

I wrote this article as a drawn-out and more elaborate version of the advice I had for a reader in the comments section of Alek’s article on conversational pauses – it was actually Alek himself that alerted me to the reader’s question.

The reader asks:

“I was wondering if you have any examples of using sexual prizing in day game.

Just curious how it would be played to work effectively.”

This is an excellent question.

Though I think, instead of just focusing the article on how we can use sexual prizing in day game (since that’s only one of several ways to use sex talk), it would be better to explain how sex talk works as a multifaceted technique and how it can be used in our day-game interactions.

Now, before getting into the specific tips and step-by-step methods, I also think it’s necessary for us to understand sex talk as a concept in the broader sense of seduction.

We need to familiarize or reacquaint ourselves with the purposes served by sex talk during a seduction. Because with any seduction technique, the more you understand the purpose of the technique, as well as what you’re trying to accomplish with it, the better your chances of pulling it off properly. And with an advanced technique like sex talk, it’s especially important that we understand the concept behind it at least somewhat, because if we don’t, it’s very likely we might end up making mistakes in field that could have easily been avoided.

So in this article, I will first dispel any fogginess that might be associated with sex talk and make things as clear as day. Once we understand sex talk as a general concept, figuring out what it can accomplish in day game will be very straight forward. Then we can get on to some of the more specific aspects of how we use sex talk in day game.

How to Fix the "He's Not a Boyfriend" Frame

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

he's not a boyfriend
Girls will sleep with you, but they won’t date you… and you can’t figure out why. But there are 3 reasons this happens (and you can fix them all).

This article is targeted to upper-intermediate-to-advanced daters with retention problems.

For many of the readers of this website, the problem they have is acquisition, not retention. That is, they can hang onto a girl when they get her... it’s the ‘getting’ where they have difficulty. But there are some men in the opposite boat.

If you’re in the other boat, it’s no problem for you to get girls into bed. You bed new girls often enough, and are content with your sex life. The only issue is, it’d be nice if some of those girls stuck around to become girlfriends... but they don’t. They never stick around.

The common root of this problem is also the common root of their success: how utterly they disqualify themselves as boyfriends. Because they make it simple for women (“This guy is attractive, but he is not a boyfriend at all”), sex becomes much easier to get. She doesn’t have to ask herself if she risks losing a guy she’d like to keep by sleeping with him fast... because she doesn’t want to keep him.

Yet once she’s had her fun with a guy like this, it’s time to move on, because, well, she doesn’t want to keep him.

Today we’ll talk tactical fixes to the three (3) usual sources of the “he’s not a boyfriend” frame: value, attainability, and screening.

Becoming the Beast, Part 1: A Primal World

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

becoming the beast
Despite the trappings of civilization, we’re all animalistic savages at heart. In Part 1 of this series, we’ll explore just how central to humans is sex.

We live in a brave new world.

Our hunter-gatherer days came to an end with the advent of agriculture, which allowed us to settle permanently in one location and call it home. This escape from the daily struggles of travel and hunting allowed us to build and to think.

Humanity gained the time to erect tall structures and new philosophies. These ideas seeped their way into every citizen's mind, and our animalistic natures began to shift into something different.

Eventually, this cohesion of custom and habit we call culture brought us to the next great leap – the Industrial Revolution. With new forms of power in our hands, modern technology was born.

Technology quickly evolved into what it is today, granting us the power to unleash our animal instincts with the touch of a button by sending some random girl across the sea a picture of our dick.

We may live in civilization, but we are still animals.

Our entire lives still revolve around the most basic of desires – to fuck, to eat, to kill, and to survive.

Despite our evolution, we still rely on leaders. We need someone to tell us what to do and how to think. And we choose the most powerful leaders (or at least the one who makes us feel more powerful). This was Donald Trump’s trump card in the U.S. election. With slogans like “Make America Great Again” and his focus on buzzwords like “winning,” he energized his base to feel like winners. Hillary Clinton, while very popular and persuasive in her own right, relied on victim mentalities and moral superiority. These make people feel safe, but not powerful. Whether it's through fear, respect, or love, we tend to choose the more powerful force to guide us.

We only value what is useful. If you are not creating, leading, or destroying on behalf of a culture, you are relegated to the bottom and given only the meager scraps of the resources. At the heart of all this is the “givers vs. takers” dichotomy. Those who provide value are, not so ironically, given the most in return. Powerful people are given passes for crimes and moral indignities that lower-value people are not. Whoever is useful to the herd survives. Whoever is not is left behind.

We pretend to act on logic or virtue, but this is an illusion. We act because of emotions. You cannot “logically act.” It’s an oxymoron. Logic isn’t a fuel for action, it’s the glue that binds thoughts together. You can want to do something then logically decide it’s not the optimal move – if you have good self-discipline – but even that “better, logical” decision is still based on emotion. You are sacrificing one desire that is recognized as short term or too dangerous for a long-term desire that will ultimately provide more pleasure. Nevertheless, the action is still motivated by emotion and feeling. Even the grandest philosophies and most noble virtues are inspired by emotion. We are forever animals looking for the greatest pleasure and the greatest resources of pleasure.

This is what civilization is – a big game in which we argue, fight, kill, and steal to achieve the greatest pleasures available.

There can be virtuous notions behind our killing and stealing, but it’s impossible to separate our desires from these acts.

And at the heart of this grand game we play?

Sex.

The "It's Cruel When Men Don't Stick Around After Sex" Argument

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

stick around after sex
Men don’t always stick around for a relationship after sex. Is this wrong and is there anything bad about it – or not?

On my Friday/Saturday night date post, a female commenter took issue with my advice to a male commenter that he take advantage of rebound sex to get over a harsh relationship he just came out of.

To her point, I was perhaps a little indelicate in how I suggested he do this (it was guy-to-guy talk; this is a men’s site, after all). However, she took the occasion to launch into a moral argument that casual sex hurts women, takes advantage of them, and uses and discards them like unwanted objects. Her comment arguing this is a bit long to quote (you can read her full comment here), so I’ll just quote what is the most important part to me:

“I have had conversations with girlfriends who have told me that a guy won’t go out with them if they don’t sleep with them. Women have been conditioned to feel they have to have sex, much much sooner than they would feel comfortable. We know from studies that men don’t develop the feeling of love until at least 3-6 months into the relationship, even while sleeping with a woman. What they develop are lust emotions.

Most women have given up on the idea of a man protecting them and *actually* loving them. Valor and honor and real love for another is almost absent in most dating. What you describe in your post is not love at all. It is using people for sex, using people for the thrill of feeling desires, of entertainment, but it is not love. You are incredibly insightful with how to manipulate women to get to your ultimate goal. What I am saying is that this is the opposite of what a man of valor would do. He would protect his woman from physical exploitation, not be the one to exploit her. And he is exploiting her, even if it’s with her permission, when he is trying to extract sex from her when he doesn’t even genuinely love her--- care for her best good.

It doesn’t much matter if rebound sex helps a person feel better. That doesn’t make it right. Maybe we can just numb our conscience to the point that it is dead so that we can pursue feelings of lust and pleasure without caring what is actually loving to others?”

First off, her science is wrong. Men are more romantic than women are, heal less completely from breakups than women do, experience love at first sight at nearly double the rate of women... and that immediate in-love love-at-first-sight feeling men get is not infatuation – relationships that spring from immediate in-love feelings are every bit as stable and likely to last as those that develop from slow build-ups.

But that’s beside the point.

Our commenter’s argument is that to sleep with her, then not see her again, or not engage in or want to engage in a long-term committed relationship with her is damaging to her. You hurt her, you injure her, and you just generally make her feel bad.

So is she right? Does sex minus commitment lead to a trail of broken hearts and cynical women?

The answer I’ll give you is “yes, but.” And the ‘but’ is quite important.

But we’re not ready for the ‘but’ yet. Let’s talk about the ‘yes’ first.

What Energy to Approach Girls with (High or Low?)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

energy approach girls
The energy you approach a new girl with can make the difference between acceptance and rejection. So should you go in high energy or low?

Hey, guys. Today we will discuss more practical stuff that can have a tremendous effect on your game and your overall interactions with women. Many guys believe that the difference between a good seducer and a bad one is some magical technique – well, usually it is not. The devil is in the details – and the small subtleties.

That is what this post (and last week’s post about using pauses) will help you with. This post focuses more on calibration. Good seducers are smooth and tight, intermediates are less so, and beginners, well, you get the idea.

So this post is about calibration, focusing on the nature and level of “high energy” you should employ when approaching girls. This is a topic with a lot of misleading – and often contradictory – information. Some claim you have to be high energy; others claim low energy is better. They are both right and wrong at the same time – it depends on the context. Either way, this post will cover the pros and cons of each approach and give you guidelines on how to make the tightest approaches.

The following 3 factors build the foundation for calibrating your energy level for an approach:

  • The social setting

  • The girl(s)

  • The phase of the interaction

Let’s begin by discussing the crucial aspects of the social setting.

Sexual Authenticity Podcast with Daka Guy

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

It’s been a few months, but we’re back again with a new podcast, this time with the insightful and harmonic Daka Guy, of New York City. Daka Guy is a tantra instructor – which is another way to say women pay him to teach them sex. He’s one of the most spiritually and sexually balanced individuals I know, and I have personally attended his classes and been transformed by them.

Interest Preference Desire

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

interest preference desire
If you want to do something, but you never take action do it... what is that? It’s a case where you have the interest – but lack the desire.

A friend who has been consulting with me about the dating world visited me recently for a weekend – and brought some interesting stories to share. He graduated from college last year and moved to a new city, landing a prestigious job at a highly respected global firm with a six-figure starting pay and great benefits (right out of school!). Basically, he fulfilled the career dream he had since before college, and now he lives in a beautiful new apartment in a great part of town, with lots of space and lots of money.

Regarding this side of his life, he’s completely fulfilled – well, sort of. He likes his life on paper, but after actually speaking to him about the details, I discovered he feels immersed in soul-killing consumerism. He liked my tiny, modest apartment with its very human and soulful feel. Before leaving, he said my vibe had rubbed off on him – he felt sweeter and more relaxed.

Yet on the dating field, he hasn’t gone on a single date since moving to his new city. He has been following Girls Chase for almost two years and has since improved on his vibe and does cold approach occasionally. However, he has yet to ask out a girl in his new town. He tells me that he’s waiting to become more fit (he goes to the gym regularly and is still looking for new clothes) to present himself better. He’s also working on his fundamentals and is pursuing new hobbies and meet-ups where he might meet women. He also laments that there are no women in his area he really has a desire for. In other words, he doesn’t find them attractive, so they’re not even worth approaching or pursuing.

I will note that he did enjoy the look of women in my area – so location is a factor indeed!

He wanted to know what he could do to start dating women, and I told him that right now, there’s nothing he can really do, because no matter what I tell him, he’s not actually going to do it. How did I deduce this? I told him that in this moment in his life, he doesn’t want to date or learn to be with women badly enough; his focus is still on building his career, not learning to attract women.

In fact, his desire, as it was during college, remains in climbing his career and making lots of money – a big factor in his choice of city – while he merely has an interest in learning about women and dating. I told him nothing would happen for him until he actually held a real desire to be with a woman; for now, a sufficient desire doesn’t exist in him. I told him he’s waiting for a “perfect moment” that will never actually arrive.

What he actually needs to do to make any progress is to get the ball rolling, but his desire to grow career-wise suffocates that process.

I wanted to break down why things were the way they were for him, and thus came about the topic of this article. It’s a little abstract but very useful in deducing people’s intentions.

One of the great life lessons I am getting ever more acquainted with is that what people say they want or like, and what they actually, truly want – and what they actually do – are often very different things. This is what we’re going to talk about today: why these inconsistencies exist and how they show up.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Friday/Saturday Night Date

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Friday night date
The Friday night or Saturday night date is one of the best date times you can get. But it’s also tricky to get – she may have plans, or want you to think she does.

You know my usual advice on scheduling your dates... go for midday if you can (11 AM start time), when she’s likely to have the whole day free. Or if you can’t, after 7 PM Monday through Thursday is good.

But avoid Friday and Saturday. Especially Friday and Saturday nights.

Why? Well, most girls are busy then. Or at least they’d like you to think they’re busy then. Any girl who’s read The Rules knows she’s not supposed to agree to a date Friday or Saturday night. Makes her seem too available, after all.

On top of this, you don’t want to seem too available. You’re a single guy. Shouldn’t you be out partying on Friday night? Or maybe hooking up with a friend-with-benefits? Having drinks with the boys? If you’re free on a weekend night – especially if she isn’t – you risk looking a little, well... lame.

However, there’s a catch here. And that catch is that if you can pull off a Friday night or Saturday night date, you get a date during the most sex-primed part of the week. It’s easier to sleep with girls on Friday or Saturday night. And if you get them out one-on-one with you on Friday or Saturday night? Hoo boy.

The art, of course, is how to get girls out for a Friday night date or a Saturday night date, without the seeming like the guy with no plans and no social life. That’s the real trick.

Lovers vs. Fighters: Who's Your Target Audience, Women or Men?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

lovers vs. fighters
Lovers seduce women; fighters intimidate men. But why do men choose the specializations they do – and which should you choose?

I was probably about 20 years old when I accepted what was to me a weird fact at the time. That fact was that the toughest, manliest, most utterly male, intimidating men usually only dated girls who were just okay. They didn’t get gorgeous girls... not usually. They’d get girls with ordinary faces, ordinary brains, and maybe okay bodies.

I’d seen a similar trend in myself. In midway through high school I’d switched images: from nerd chic to the leather jacket bad boy look. And though I was unquestionably cooler and tougher looking, the fevered pursuit I’d had from popular, pretty girls over the previous four years died down. Men, however, respected me more than ever. I’d gained more male respect, but at the cost of female desire.

Fast forward a few years. I’d internalized the lesson that men who acted über manly had focused their efforts on appealing to male measurements of power and dominance... and cost themselves in women. It was a hard decision at the time, but at last I said “I will no longer live my life for other men.” And as I reinvented myself again, this time with an emphasis on what attracted women, I became more attractive to women once more, with some small cost to the respect other men held for me. I stopped being a fighter, and became a lover.

Ultimately, I’d say it was a good move for me, in many ways. Ultra maleness is not so conducive to being a writer or a business owner. Nor is it so good a fit for a man who wants to travel around and network with other people. Taking my foot off the masculinity gas somewhat freed me to not have to be a caveman in everything I did. And of course, the women... they’re much better for the guys who aren’t male caricatures.

Lovers vs. fighters is something Hector delved into with last week’s “A Feminine Man, Done Right, Can be Wildly Sexy to Women.” In that article, he discussed how a certain degree of femininity in men can trump overdone masculinity when it comes to success with girls.

Today, I want to go into the science and the psychology of it: why men choose the paths they do, and which one is actually the more fruitful path to choose.