Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

In a non-monogamous relationship, is it ethical to keep your partners in the dark about each other? Let’s explore the reasons why it is – for you and for them.

Girls Chase reader Damien asked me a question about a relationship he had with a woman that lasted two years in a non-monogamous setup. He noted that his girlfriend was mostly drama-free and easy to manage, which is the way it should be.

However, Damien also mentioned that he felt like he was lying to her at times by withholding information about what he was doing with other girls. I thought this was an interesting topic to explore in the context of this system and non-monogamy in general.

Damien writes:

““I had a non-monogamous relationship for two years where I ran things exactly like described in this article, but it always felt like I was lying to the girl (even though I was just not telling her the details). Also, that girl was low-drama and easy to manage.”

So, should a man tell his partner about all his activities, or is it better for him to protect his partner by withholding certain information that he knows could be harmful to their relationship? It’s a tough question, one that is worthy of an article because it’s the central concept of understanding how the harem system works – and all implicit systems.

We’re going to explore the ethics and philosophy behind the harem system. As you’ll see, the system was not designed to enable men to lie to women – quite the opposite. It was designed to protect and sustain women and to look out for their interests.

It’s a non-monogamous system, so it does largely cater to men. After all, it’s an innate male desire to have sex with many different partners, and there’s no getting around that. For women, the system holds a different promise, and most of it is dependent on the man.

Even monogamous guys who have been with the same woman in a loving relationship for many years feel a desire for other kinds of pussy. Not every guy gives in to their desires, but I do know many men and women in monogamous setups who do, which might make it the most dishonest agreement of all. It’s not just men that have a desire to sleep around. Often, women share the same level of horniness as men – or even more so.

Emotionally, women always desire to be with the strongest man in the pool and seek commitment and security with that man exclusively. Sexuality, however, can be very different.

Most times, a woman won’t cheat on her man or even consider sleeping with other men if she’s sexually satisfied by her main partner, because there’s no reason for her to. With this in mind, let’s talk about the implications of the system.

Flow state is when you feel natural, and whatever it is you’re doing just works and is enjoyable. But how do you find it, especially when it comes to attracting women?

You’ve probably seen an advanced seducer in action before and didn’t even realize it.

That’s the beauty of advanced game – it doesn’t look or feel like “game” in any sense. It’s more a way of expressing yourself so purely and subtly that the girl you approach doesn’t feel any discomfort or ulterior motive. It doesn’t cause bystanders to take notice (unless you want it to) and the whole interaction feels “normal.”

A woman who experiences a man with amazing game will likely describe him as “fun” or “interesting,” whereas a guy who lacks skill won’t even make an imprint on her.

Advanced game is almost an oxymoron because it’s a state of “normalcy.” Where a beginner will go out with the intent to meet women, the advanced man just is. He’s become what he’s wanted to be for years – a healthy, libidinous male with mesmerizing social skills.

He is one who’s not willing to passively wait for chance. He presses the game of odds by spinning the wheel – as often as necessary – until he wins or goes bust.

But to the girl, even though he’s “normal,” there’s also something special about this guy. He’s different somehow. But what is it that makes him different? From her perspective, it’s like watching two different movies. One is a B-movie with bad actors and poor writing.

You know you’re watching a bad movie because the poor performances dismantle your suspension of disbelief. You might still watch the film for entertainment’s sake, but these are actors, the ghosts aren’t real, and the sets are CGI. When you watch an A-grade actor in an Oscar-worthy performance, you’re whisked away to another world.

It’s the difference between Jurassic Park 5 and Lord of the Rings. One movie has you laughing rather than crying as a T-Rex chomps the lead character to bits – the other has you in tears of sorrow for the loss of Gandalf to the Balrog. It’s your emotional investment in a situation that feels more real than real life.

A girl who experiences a great seducer won’t text her friends “Some guy just approached me,” but rather “I just met this guy, wow!” It’s as if she just met Brad Pitt. He comes across as an A-lister rather than a cartoon character or an NPC in a video game.