Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

8 Ways Men Over-Game Women in Pickup

Tony Depp's picture

over-gaming women
Guys who do pickup and seduction often over-game women; she’s ready to smash, but they keep spitting game. Here are some tips to avoid falling into that trap.

Are you making success with women more complicated than it needs to be?

Most likely you are. I know – because been there, done that.

In seduction, true beauty is found by taking something rough, disorganized, and raw, then whittling it down into its most pure, functional form. You strip away the excess until all that’s left are results. Or, at least, a sharpened tool, or polished art form.

That’s the idea anyway.

Back when I was a noob, there was this cute barista I wanted to bang. I didn’t realize at the time that I could have had her simply by saying “Hey, what are you up to tonight?” Instead, I’d go in there, order a coffee and practice my game on her.

I’d use push-pull, making fun of the way she wiggled her nose when she talked, or how her lips curled upwards when she was annoyed. I’d show her new gambits, like palm reading, or the horsey flowers routine. I’d do everything except pull the trigger and ask her out.

One day she’d had enough. In the middle of one of my jokes, she said, “Tony, why don’t you just get real with me?”

“Just get real.” Uggh. She was right. I’d been over-gaming. Trying way too hard. Practicing rather than seducing.

Taking something incredibly complex and skill-based seems as if it’s natural, easy – even effortless, as if you were born gifted. That’s the law of Sprezzatura. But to get to Sprezzatura, you’ll have to earn it.

It’s the process of earning your skill that leads you through the land of try-hard, where over-gaming rules the experience.

Rather than focusing on hundreds of theories and tactics, focus on maximizing your strengths and minimizing your weaknesses. Simplify your game.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Pick Up Girls Who Are Out to Be Seen

Chase Amante's picture

girl out to be seenThere's a certain kind of girl you'll meet when you frequent social venues.

These girls are out for a specific purpose: they want to be seen.

They want people to see them: how good they look, how popular they are, how in-demand.

Any kind of social venue will have women like this:

  • Nightclubs have them
  • Lounges have them
  • Bars have them
  • Parties have them
  • Wine tastings have them
  • Art gallery events have them
  • Charity events have them

Now, you might at first think if a girl is out to be seen, she's not a worthwhile prospect for a night of bedroom delights. Yet that's not always the case. The psychology of a girl like this is one of seeking validation. She desires the validation of 'being seen'... she wants others to see her, think well of her, and admire her.

In some cases, you can turn this drive of hers for validation directly to your advantage, and become a source of validation she pursues. In other cases you can serve as a kind of reprieve from the pressures of validation-seeking; one she can run off with later on in the night once she's quenched her thirst for validation.

Today we'll talk about some tactics to use to bring these types of girls to bed.

But first, we should explain whom these women are and what's happening in their heads a little bit more.

Your Best Chance Is on the First Date

Pierre Navarro's picture

your best chance is on the first date
Whether you want a serious or casual relationship with a woman, you need to get her in bed before attraction windows close. Pro tip: your best bet is the first date.

Editor's Note: Pierre has been a long-time member on our boards, and this is his first article on Girls Chase. He'll be 50 this year, divorced in 2012 after 15 years of marriage. Now, after several years back in the game, we’re stoked to add his perspective on women and dating to our blog. Here he starts things off with a very educational story! – BT


By August 2015, I had hit the one-year mark in my seduction education. I had a few successes, but there was still much to learn.

In particular, I was missing a key element in my dating mindset, and it took a monumental failure to finally beat it into my skull. Lucky for me and you, failure is a powerful learning tool, and the story I’m about to relate is what taught me the most important dating lesson I’ve learned so far, namely:

Your best chance to make it happen is to push for sex on the first date.

And that goes for whatever you want to “make happen” – whether that’s just having sex with a girl or making her your girlfriend.

For a lot of guys, this mindset can seem counterintuitive, but I promise you it’s not. In this article, I’ll share the epiphanies that finally convinced me just how crucial – and effective – it is.

Storytime!

Secrets to Being Fearless as a Man (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Fear.

What a monstrous topic.

What an enemy.

He may be the ultimate enemy.

How do you deal with him? What makes a man truly fearless?

How to be fearless?

Totally fearless? Well, that's a huge undertaking.

Let's start with discovering the reasons behind fear and then work from that foundation to see what it means to be a fearless man?

As Mating Complexity Increases, Do Reproductive Returns Diminish?

Chase Amante's picture

mating complexity
Mating gets more complex as our societies become more complex. But as complexity rises, does the law of diminishing (reproductive) returns set in? (image source: Darwin Leo)

Bit of an abstract/sociological article here.

A little more academic than usual, too.

If you'd prefer tactics on dealing with an increasingly complex mating market, see my Game Imbalance Theory series. Otherwise, if you're down for a little academic sociology, let's proceed...

I'm reading through John Tainter's brilliant The Collapse of Complex Societies. Tainter's premise is civilization (or society, as he prefers to call it) is a problem-solving entity. As a society encounters new problems (like a food shortage or a militaristic neighbor) it adds new layers to itself, to address the problem (more intensive farming, or the training of a better military). These new layers make the society more complex.

As the society becomes more complex (to deal with more problems), it requires more resources. For a while it gets these through conquest or opening up new resource channels. Later it must get them by raising taxes on the population and by controlling more and more of its populace's lives. The further along this process it goes, the greater the demands on the society's support population become, and the smaller the returns on its increasing complexity get. It must demand more and more, to support greater and greater complexity, for less and less return.

As I've read Tainter, it's gotten me thinking about romantic relationships. There are some fascinating trends in dating, mating, and reproduction... trends like:

Anecdotally, the Battle of the Sexes seems to have reached fevered pitch, with many jilted women asking "where all the good men have gone" and many jilted men complaining they didn't go anywhere but were overlooked while these women were too busy "riding the cock carousel" (and now no longer want these "post-wall" women). This is something it's harder to quantify, but I've gone through a fair few newspaper advice columns from the 1880s through the 1950s and don't recall coming across anything close to this level of back-and-forthing between the sexes.

Divorce rates have skyrocketed, even as the availability of sex partners seemingly has too (I can't find much data on historical lifetime sex partners, unfortunately, but I find it hard to believe the average number of lifetime sex partners was "seven" in the 18th and 19th Centuries, as it is now -- though here's an interesting article on changing views on sexuality across the times).

As I looked at all this, I had to wonder: is the ever-increasing complexity of modern dating to blame for dating's shabbier and shabbier results overall for men and women alike?

How Frame Control Affects Your Entire Interactions with Girls

Alek Rolstad's picture

frame control and interactions with girls
In this follow-up article on frame control, we discuss – from a macro perspective – how the frames you set affect your whole interaction with a girl.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. If you read my previous article on frames (which you should, as frames and frame control are some of the most important concepts in seduction), you understand how pickup, dating, and seduction are not FULLY sequential processes.

Now, they are sequential to some extent – as you do open first, then hook, before eventually isolating, seducing, extracting, and having sex.

But it is clear that:

  • How well you open will have an impact on how easily you hook

  • How well you hook will define how easily you can isolate, build rapport, seduce, and most importantly, SET FRAMES

And here is the MOST KEY ITEM:

  • How well you set the frames will DEFINE EVERYTHING that follows, including how much compliance you will have, what you can and can’t get away with, how easily it will be to extract, how easy or hard it will be to escalate, how much resistance you will face, if any, and so on.

So, frames are important, as you can see. But what is also interesting is how pickup, seduction, and dating is a semi-sequential process. Yes, there are sequences to follow, but each sequence sets the pace, tone, and overall vibe of the upcoming steps. This is exactly what FRAMING does!

But you already know this if you read my previous post. If not, then you better check it out, as most articles on Girls Chase will make more sense after you do.

This post is a continuation. Now, if you know everything about framing, you may skip my previous post, but recaps never hurt.

In this post we will discuss the effects of frames on interactions – we will explain how setting frames affects the whole interaction – taking a macro perspective. What are good frames vs. bad frames and what roles do they play?

Next week we will move on to take a micro perspective and discuss how frames are set in the different sequences of an interaction. Let’s get on with it.

Do Pickup Lines Work on Women?

Darwin Niwrad's picture

Do pickup lines work on women
Do pickup lines work on women? Yes, but canned lines can backfire if you don’t know how and when to use them. Here’s how to make your lines work for you.

Pickup lines – can’t screw with them, can’t screw without them.

The first thing I want to address here is that you shouldn’t let anyone tell you that master seducers don’t use canned lines. Whether they’re technically pickup lines, stories, quips, jokes, whatever... everyone uses them. Because they work.

The important thing here is that it’s difficult to know what will work, when you should use lines, how you should use them, where you should use them, and on whom you should use them.

There are a plethora of pickup lines tailored for a plethora of female personalities and situations, so for women you just met, you’re likely just rolling the dice by using a pickup line. With experience, you simply gain the ability to make educated guesses.

Highly-skilled guys have the advantage of experience, which gives them a better idea of what to say to particular girls, and whether to use a canned line or craft something on the spot that’s more natural and unique.

And not only do you have to consider a line’s effect on particular girls, you also must understand what type of person you are to know what works well for your body language, attitude, and style.

7 Misconceptions About Pickup and Seduction

Tony Depp's picture

Misconceptions About Pickup and Seduction
The seduction community has its share of critics who portray pickup artists as unnatural and manipulative. Here’s why we don’t see it that way.

Remember that classic line from the movie Fight Club? What was the first rule? Oh yeah, don’t talk about Fight Club. And in that movie, almost everyone broke the rule.

The result? The ranks exploded, and they were branded a terrorist organization.

When I first got into pickup, I joined a men’s pickup artist group called the Montreal Lair. It was run by a guy named Cliff who was made Internet-famous by that book The Game. He made me sign a non-disclosure agreement, promising not to talk about the group. “Media has infiltrated us before. We need to protect the identity of our members,” he told me.

Since then pickup artistry has gone mainstream.

Now YouTubers have in-field videos with millions of views. Books on the subject have sold millions of copies, and websites like Girls Chase get millions of readers per month. Yet we hide.

Tactics Tuesdays: Fresh Stories to Tell to Girls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

storytelling seductionYou should always have a few fresh, recent stories to tell about your life.

These don't have to be particularly amazing stories. But they should be a little interesting, they should be recent, and they should display some interesting trait about you.

For instance, do you ever get people run up to you with strange requests? Four days ago I was at a Starbucks, eating a yogurt cup and reading my Kindle. They have this low-fat yogurt at Starbucks that is horrible. I don't know who wants yogurt with the fat out. But if you get the mixed berry yogurt, you can scoop up some berry and granola with the yogurt so it isn't too awful.

Well, I'm sitting there at this table by the window by myself, and I notice some girl hovering nearby. She looks like she's looking out the window, but I think she wants something.

Anyway, I go back to my book and my slightly awful low-fat yogurt.

The girl suddenly appears again, right at my table, and interrupts my reading. She says excuse me, do you have WhatsApp on your phone?

I look at her. She's pretty. But her face is glistening like she's been running a marathon or has a gland problem or something. And she looks all serious and distracted.

I can't tell if she's trying to meet someone and lost her phone, if she's using this as an excuse to meet me, or if she wants to steal my phone.

"I need to log into my WhatsApp account to check my messages," she tells me.

"Oh, sorry," I say. "I don't have WhatsApp."

But she doesn't leave. She just stands there, with her glistening face and her serious, distracted look.

"Oh," she says. "Because I thought everyone has WhatsApp. I just need to log into my account."

I don't know if she didn't hear me or what. She's not even really looking at me now, just glancing around as if scanning for predators. I do a quick mental calculus of "Do I want to go out of my way to help this random sweaty distracted chick? Do I want to tell her she can download WhatsApp to my phone, then sit there and watch her like a hawk while she uses it to make sure she doesn't make a break to run out of Starbucks with it?"

Instead I just tell her "Sorry, I don't have it."

She stands there for another moment, still looking sweaty and distracted. Finally she says "Okay, thanks" and walks off.

I notice her 15 minutes later over at some long table in the Starbucks, texting on a phone, still looking sweaty and serious but now laser-focused on whatever she's texting. So I guess she found someone to lend her a phone.

I dunno, what would you do in that scenario? I might've been more inclined to lend her my phone if she'd used a napkin first and wiped all that sweat off.

Keep Girls Interested in Casual Relationships with the Silent Method

Pablo Garcia's picture

keep girls interested in casual relationships
Casual relationships tend to fizzle out quickly, but sometimes we don’t want them to! Here’s a method to boost her attraction for you and keep her interested.

I have a bunch of good friends in the pickup industry, and we often have interesting chats about different topics in the niche. During a recent back-and-forth, we came across the subject of keeping girls interested longer-term in casual relationships.

Casual relationships don’t usually last very long, but sometimes we’d like them to!

Over the years, I have developed a killer method for keeping girls in my rotation, and this also applies to how I deal with them in texts; most other pickup artists are using other methods. My friends found my ideas interesting, and when applied, they got excellent results!

So they asked me to write this article to enlighten our readers about this important topic. I always was and am still interested in ways to keep a hot and intelligent girl in my rotation long-term, so I have developed a special way of handling girls and so that you keep them invested and chasing you.