Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

The Game Never Ends

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

seduction game goes on
Cherish the grind, the journey of achieving your goals. Enjoy the struggle and hope it never ends, because your worst fear should be having everything you desire.

Many years ago, I lamented my lack of ability to attract 9s and 10s. I posted about this on a forum, and a black ex-pimp dating coach named “Player Supreme” made a podcast about it. He gave me a great insight that nobody else could or would say.

“You’re not 9 and 10 material.”

Ouch.

His advice was simple. Stop studying, go to the gym, lift, increase my income, and lower my standards.

That’s not what Tony Robbins would say!

Well, I went to the gym, but I never got huge. I started my own business, and I’m still not rich. I have really great game but still can’t get 9s and 10s with the consistency of a Vampire or Rock Star.

But my life is pretty great in comparison to that guy who just wanted to bang a 9. Been there, done that – many times. And the only aspect of this journey I can correlate to this is age and experience. The more you play, the better you get.

But you know, looking back, what he was saying makes perfect sense. If you want a 9, become a 9. (Side note: we all know there’s no such thing as a 10.)

Player Supreme was saying not to chase the girls who are out of your league, but rather become the guy who is out of their league, and combine that with game.

Now my goals are much simpler. I want:

Check, check, check, and check.

So enough about me. Let's talk about how you can set standards – realistic standards – to help you achieve your goals?

Tactics Tuesdays: Getting Free of Local Dating Norms

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating norms
Every group or society has norms it expects members to follow. These norms extend to dating and romance as well. But what if you aren't from the same norm group?

I've done quite a bit of travel and lived in a variety of places, all very different from each other, with people who were all quite different too. Everywhere I have gone, I have encountered many men who told me the women in whatever city or country I was in were 'traditional' and 'hard to get anywhere with'. Often I would have men telling me this after I had already quickly slept with several normal, local women, with normal dating histories (not wild party girls, sluts, or 'exceptions to the rule'). I never want to rub it in a guy's face, so usually I will just say "Well, the girls here seem pretty normal and not too uptight to me."

I am not the only guy this happens to. Everywhere I've lived or traveled for any good amount of time, for every 10 guys I meet who tell me the women there are 'difficult' or 'traditional', I'll meet at least one man who tells me the women there are unbelievably easy. Often these guys sleep with multiple new women a week, oblivious to the guys who spend months or years without girlfriends or lays.

I could spend 10 posts unpacking the differences between the 'girls here are hard to get' guys and the 'girls here are so easy' guys... and in many ways, this website is devoted to just this mission.

Today though, I want to talk about one specific wrinkle of the successful guys' success: playing dumb on dating norms.

Meeting Women as a Younger Guy out of College

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

meeting women
Some guys in their early 20s who are out of college find it harder to meet girls, so they hit a sexual limbo and get frustrated. But fear not, you have many options!

I’m often asked by some of the younger folks who’ve met me and who have coached with me – how do you meet women when you are a younger guy after college?

It’s a great question that’s especially relevant if you’re in the lower 20s age range. This is an odd time for many men as it’s right after the conclusion of college and right at the start of independent adulthood.

Unlike women, whose sex appeal and sexual market value peak at around age 21-23 (then decline steadily afterward), mens’ options with women tend to increase with age and skill. And since women tend to look to date men who are older than them , more successful, and more sexually capable, this leaves some less-experienced men at this age feeling lost when it comes to having options.

Some guys may think they’re out of options after they’ve left college and that social scene. They even lament not being cool enough then or not being able to learn how to be cool later.

These are all incorrect ways of thinking. It’s never too early nor too late to learn game, and there’s no right age to game, date, and have sex with attractive women.

The truth is that the guys who start young and get good can stay good, grow more, and get even better as they get older. And guys who think they missed their opportunity to learn game and have success with women for the remainder of their lives – well, they just have it wrong, and their mentality is the only thing standing in their way.

Inclusiveness vs. Exclusiveness

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

inclusiveness vs. exclusiveness
To succeed socially, you must make people feel included. But there's a catch: people most want to be included by those they see as EXCLUSIVE.

One of the best feelings in the world is to feel like you are included in an exclusive group.

Humans by nature want to join groups. More specifically, they want to join valuable groups, that they benefit by being members of. One of the primary ways humans determine the value of a group is by how exclusive it is.

Just think of that old Groucho Marx quote:

"I refuse to join any club that would have me."

It's funny, because the humor is self-deprecating ("any club that finds me acceptable as a member can't be a club worth joining"). But it also highlights a subtle truth: the value of the club hinges on how exclusive it is.

Nobody feels good about his inclusion in a broadly inclusive group. People want to be included into exclusive things.

This simple truth has a great deal of weight for your social and romantic interactions, too... because excellence with other people often comes down to how included you make them feel, in your own personal exclusive club.

The Worst Battlegrounds for Getting Good with Women

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

getting good with women
Some dating methods are terrible for guys learning to attract the women they desire. If you’re learning game, do NOT focus on these battlegrounds.

I have noticed that many men are shooting themselves in the foot and purposely selecting battles and battlefields that are not beneficial for them when it comes to dating.

For example, when guys want to get laid, many will use:

With the right strategies and skills, you can find success is all those battlegrounds, but to be honest, all are relatively crappy compared to others available, especially for beginners.

Picking poor battlefields as the selected method for dating is also counter-intuitive – making this not only more difficult for themselves but also limiting their results and making the process much more frustrating.

This post is partly meant to express some frustration I’m experiencing and answer many commonly asked questions. This post will hopefully clarify my thoughts on simplifying the process of getting laid and finding girlfriends, and help guys make the best use of their time and energy.

Let’s get right to it.

8 Tips for Building Rapport with Anyone

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

building rapport
If you want something from someone, whether it’s a raise or to let you play with their boobs, a good way to get it is through building rapport. Here’s how.

Want to get laid? Land a raise at work? Sell your car? For so many things in life, learning how to build rapport like a boss is one of the most useful skills you can develop.

In a way, that’s all “game” is – building up rapport to the point where women want you inside them, men want to be your best friend, and bosses want to give you more responsibility (and money).

There’s also something to be said about the power of “breaking rapport.” But that’s a topic for another article (like this one).

Most pickup advice is based on state-pumping flash game, which is meant to arouse sexual feelings and get a girl in bed quickly. The downside – this style tends to leave women with buyer’s remorse. After sex, they’ll feel a bit cheap and may not become a repeat customer. They’ll feel like you aroused them, but they don’t really “know” you – nor will you know them.

If you become an expert at building rapport, she’ll be more invested and addicted to your personality rather than just your sexual talents.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Fast Baby Steps

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

seduction steps
Some guys slowly circle, other guys charge in. But if you want the most consistent results with girls, you'll do neither such thing…

It'd be nice if you could approach a girl, do a few things, and she just goes right to being your girl right after that, right?

Most women you'll meet aren't ready to go the moment you meet them, however.

Instead, you have to take them through a process.

You have to get them comfortable with you. You have to get them to follow your lead. You have to awaken their lusts. You have to create situations where they are alone with you and can slip into a more intimate interaction. You have to invite, and you have to lead.

The approach an ordinary man takes with women typically falls to one of two extremes:

  1. He takes baby steps, but too few and too slowly. These men are the hesitant men, who don't want to blow it with a girl, so they go slow and walk soft. They stay well within the bounds of acceptability, but end up so tentative girls don't realize they like them, or if they do realize it, they find the guys too tame and aren't interested.

  2. The other type of guy takes big steps, but rushes. These men are the aggressive men, who don't want to waste time on uninterested women, so they go fast and make bold moves. They cross the bounds of acceptability with many women, since these bounds are different for every girl and if you're trying to move bold and move fast (and aren't using much finesse as you do it) you don't have time to figure out where each individual girl's boundaries are. The result is men like this succeed with the women who were open to what they wanted and whose bounds matched their moves (a minority of women), while they blow themselves out or scare off the women for whom they make too many bold moves, too fast, or go too far out of bounds (the majority of women they meet).

It's better to be Guy B than it is to be Guy A, generally. Guy B at least will get some decent success with girls, even if he blows it with most of them. But you have to be a bit of an asshole to pull off the Guy B approach.

Guy A spends too much of his time pining away after girls who may not even realize he likes them, or do realize it but don't feel anything for him (and never will, since he never really does anything with them).

Both men are extremes though.

One moves too slowly and softly, like a seduction sloth.

The other moves too brazenly and rushed, like a seduction rhinoceros.

The way the most adept seducers move is neither like the slow-moving, soft sloth, nor the brazen, rushed rhino.

The best seducers move like a cat: lots of little steps, made quickly, before they pounce.

How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

One of the most important questions you’ll ask in your life: “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

But, should you ask it like that?

Eh.

If not, how should you ask? At some point, you have to ask her, right?

Well, kinda.

I’m about to flip this notion of asking a girl to be your girlfriend on its head.

This is the best way to get a girlfriend.

And it’s so simple.

All you need is a little bit of patience, and some balls.

Should You Use Direct Game or Indirect Game to Get Girls?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

direct vs indirect game
Some pickup artists swear by direct game. Others prefer indirect game. Some guys mix it up. This article is meant to help you decide what is best for you.

Hey, guys. Since we are beating dead horses lately by discussing natural vs. technical game, and inner game vs. outer game, I decided to beat another dead horse, which ironically, I have not seen being discussed much on the blog.

It’s interesting that after almost seven years of writing, I’ve decided to cover the subject bloggers and coaches tend to write their first articles about.

Well, I guess it is never too late, and I am sure some are probably curious about my take on it.

14 Secrets to Being a Sexy Older Man

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

sexy older man
It’s the truth: women are attracted to sexy older men! Here’s how to age like a fine wine and bed girls who’ll cure your erectile dysfunction rather than cause it.

I’ve had a lot of clients who are insecure about their age. For many, they get older, but their desire for young women remains. They fear that they’ll lose their youth, and aren’t sure how to find their “sexy older man” appeal.

If you’re wise, you can be a hot, sexy older man, rather than the “gross” old guy. But it may take a little self-awareness, strategy, and work ethic.

 

Defining “Older”

For the purpose of this article, I’ll say “older” is between 40-60 years.

Life experience-wise, this is a huge age range. Much can happen in those 20 years. Your entire identity could shift and morph multiple times. You could start and end dozens of relationships, careers, have kids, grandkids, survive wars and cancer. Who you are at 40 won’t be who you are at 60, no doubt – just as who you are at 20 won’t be who you are at 40.

I’m not going to coach you on how to find meaning in your life as you spiral toward the grave. I’m just going to teach you 14 secrets to being a sexy older man, so you can still score those hot younger women without paying for it.

 

Are You a Sexy Older Man?

The brutal truth is that many of you will fade out of the dating market and become nearly invisible in the eyes of young, beautiful women. Why?

Because you are:

You’re out of shape, with a ring of gray around your skull, creases so deep they hide civilizations; you dress like a nerd, have a massive pot belly, and are completely out of touch with youth culture and interests.

But you still want those hot young girls. Or maybe you just want a fulfilling sex life with attractive women your age. Either way, these tips will get you on track.

What may be most important for you to understand is that there are plenty of men like yours truly, who at 41 still travel the world, go to parties, and bang girls in their early twenties. Likely I’ll still be able to do that when I’m 60, should I wish to.

What’s interesting about age is that I know fat and bald guys in their twenties and thirties who do great with women. So it’s not necessarily the lack of hair or a spare tire that scares the young beauties away. What is it, then?

Is it your style?

Your belief system?

Do you feel too old, that you should just date women your own age and not be a “dirty old man”? Screw that, right?

There are plenty of older guys who still get with women 10, 20, even 40 years younger than them.

For whatever reason, there’s something that these young women want, be it money, status, fame, power, wisdom, or preference. Women go with much older men, all the time.

Like many things in life, in order to achieve it, you have to believe it’s possible. Your mindset matters and you have to get real.

If you feel you’re too old, you will be. Whatever you feel, she feels. You believe, you project.

Ultimately, if you’re a stinky old geriatric, expect to pay for that loving.

That said, without further ado, let’s discuss how not to be a stinky old geriatric, but rather a sexy older man who can bed women he’s actually attracted to.