Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

15 Dating Lessons You Don't Want to Learn the Hard Way

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

learn dating
If you want to learn dating, the key is to gain experience. But you don’t have to learn everything directly. These pro tips will save you a lot of pain and suffering.

To learn dating and be successful at it, you need experience. There might be a few lucky (or unlucky) guys who married their high school sweeties, but for most of us, it’s trial and error.

But can you even learn dating to an extent that your life will be significantly improved? Yes, you can. And you should.

In this article, when I say “learn dating,” I don’t mean knowing whether to show up 15 minutes early or 15 minutes late, or whether to wait three days afterward to text again. I'm talking about dating a girl who’s addicted to meth, and now her drug-dealing ex-boyfriend feels you owe him a kidney.

To be clear, it's not our intention to feed your cynicism when it comes to women and dating, but to help you prepare for some very real situations that will seriously trip you up if you're not prepared. If thus far in your dating life your cynicism has boiled up to the point of overflowing, these articles will help you understand where women are coming from:

Either way, if you're looking for some great tips that will save you a lot of sanity, read on.

Tactics Tuesdays: Back-to-Back Date Scheduling

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

back-to-back dates

Dates can be a major stressor for guys. Especially if you don't have  a lot of dates, or you put pressure on yourself, it can be hard to get out of that. Going out to meet new women can also be a big stressor. You can put a lot of pressure on yourself to succeed, and get in your head about it.

There's a neat little way you can make both of these a whole lot less stressing, however. It just takes a bit of scheduling to do.

If you use this scheduling tactic, it'll give you other benefits aside from the stress reduction. It'll let you give yourself multiple chances to succeed with women on any given day. Further, it'll let your later interactions piggyback on momentum from your earlier ones... and your earlier ones relax quite a bit because you know you have more coming up.

What the tactic is is to schedule dates and pickup time one after another on the same day.

Your Girlfriend's Love Language Might Be Different from Yours

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

love languages
You want to spend quality time together, but she'd rather do things for you she thinks you'll like? Different love languages can cause more issues than you'd think... until you realize they exist.

One of the most controversial articles on Girls Chase is my piece "Should You Pay for a Date?" My conclusion of that article was "No, you shouldn't pay. Not based on my experience. Not if you sleep with or date a gal." Many men and some women agreed with me. Many other women flipped out that I'd suggest not paying for women. Some men also said they found it odd or counterproductive. You can go read the comments on that article to see how hotly contested the issue was (and those comments kept coming for years).

For years after I wrote that piece I assumed the outraged women were outraged at the threat the article posed to the free rides they enjoyed. Who wouldn't be upset at the prospect of losing a quite literal meal ticket? That last thing a gal needs is a lot of guys reading that article, then cheapening up their dates and splitting the bills!

And while some female commentators clearly had that as their rationale, not all did. Some professed to genuinely see a paid-for date as an expression of how the man values them. I was aware there are women like this, but always considered them outliers. I assumed most women who fought for paid-dates were simply girls who'd been pampered and didn't like the threat they might lose that pampering.

Yet, there's a psychometric theory called 'love languages' that might also explain the controversy.

According to Gary Chapman's theory of love languages, wanting gifts isn't just that someone is or isn't spoiled.

Rather, different people actually primarily gauge how other people value them in very different ways. And just as some people like quality time most, and some people prefer touch, there are people for whom the primary way they feel valued is through gifts.

Don't Just Ask for Her Phone Number! IT'S A WASTE OF TIME

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

Getting a girl’s number doesn’t mean crap. It means absolutely nothing.

You need to focus on something else entirely.

If you’re focused on getting her IG, Snap, WhatsApp, phone number… you’re doing it wrong.

I promise.

This is what you need to focus on.

Does Sex Damage Women's Long-Term Potential?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

sex damage women
Do you make a woman worse as a future girlfriend, wife, or mother when you go to bed with her? Many people think you do.

On my article about player guilt, Ben asked:

Could  you address the final issue that you bring- that sleeping with women  damages their ability to have long term relationships?

You made a fairly convincing case that emotionally, assuming you are  going to flirt and go out and attract women, not sleeping with them  isn't doing them any favors.

Maybe we really shouldn't be going out and flirting with most girls  (excluding the ones who need an emotional escape or similar i guess)  from an emotional standpoint?

More importantly though, how do you justify flirting with girls then  sleeping with them, knowing it damages their ability to have long term  relationships? This bothers me more than the emotional aspect.

-ben

The issue he's talking about was where I paraphrased some 'web wisdom' thrown about about women. Some of it says sex is liberating to women. Some says sex is violent, oppressive, and patriarchal. Some say sex is empowering. Some say it ruins women for the long-term. Those aren't my opinions; they are however common tropes you will run into on the Internet.

Ben's question, though, is one worth exploring... particularly as it ties into the concept of player guilt (which that article Ben commented on was about). If you sleep with a woman, are you damaging her future potential as a girlfriend, wife, and mother?

A growing movement online seems to have arrived at the conclusion "yes, sex damages women's futures."

The men who arrive at this conclusion though follow a chain of logic that proceeds thus:

  1. Women with higher numbers of sex partners are, on average, worse partners and mothers

  2. Therefore, when men have sex with women, they degrade women's abilities to be competent partners and mothers

While we do have plenty of evidence that women are less faithful the more partners they have, and we've all heard anecdotes of irresponsible man-crazy single mothers ditching their kids to chase the homme du jour, there's a big causal jump between those two points. This casual leap of faith is where guys trip themselves up.

That is to say, women with high partner counts are (on average) worse as mothers and partners. This is true.

Yet their partner counts are a symptom of what makes them worse in these roles -- partner count is not the cause.

And when you take a woman to bed, you are also not 'the cause'.

How Too Much High Value Can Trigger Female State Control

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

female state control
In our series on Female State Control (FSC), we’ve learned how high value and social frame can bypass FSC, but can too much of it actually work against you?

Hey, guys. Today I will continue my discussion on social frame and female state control (FSC). However, I will take a different angle. We will discuss some other reasons why FSC is socially useful.

We’ve discussed FSC and social frame a lot lately, but if you are new to this, check out the previous articles.

In a nutshell, FSC is the phenomenon that happens when women control their state while feeling stimulated or aroused and do not feel ready to allow themselves to be captivated by an attractive guy. If you’ve encountered a situation where everything seems to be going well, the vibe is good, and things are escalating fast... then out of the blue, the girl:

  • Disappears
  • Wants to go dance
  • Turns cold
  • Acts weird in general

...or any other action that communicates that she is actively trying to de-escalate the vibe. That's FSC.

It happens because she feels things are going too fast, she is losing control, or she is getting stimulated by a guy who she does not feel “allowed” to hook up with. By “allowed” we refer to social frame as defining whether a woman feels allowed on a social level to hook up with a guy. If you have a strong social frame, it will help overcome a lack of her feeling allowed to get carried away by you. It also makes it easier for her to backward-rationalize her attraction for you socially.

Today, let’s discuss other social reasons why women control their state when they are around you. We’ll focus on the social aspects like in my previous posts on social frame, but the reasons covered here are not due to a lack of social frame but something else, or the opposite. You might have too good of a social frame. Okay, this may seem counterintuitive, but everything in pickup can be a double-edged sword.

I will also try to suggest solutions for each of the causes.

Let’s get to it.

There’s Always One Final Shit Test Before Sex

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

shit test before sex
Women test men to ensure they aren’t with a loser or impostor. The final shit test before sex can be a real doozy, so make sure you’re not caught off guard.

I approached her on the street in the rain. She was a sexy young Asian girl who walked past quickly. I turned and caught up to her and opened. She smiled but said she was in a rush. I quickly asked if she was single; we had a quick one minute exchange, and I grabbed her number.

We texted in a flirty way, and she was pretty invested in the texting. I set up a date for the following week on a Tuesday (one of my standard dates). We went to an art gallery then walked over to have drinks. However, the vibe on this date felt different from most others. It was fast, and she was touching me often. At times, I got the sense that she was getting impatient when she started looking at her watch repeatedly. At this point, I hadn’t even gone through my sex talk stack yet; once I began to bring it up, she told me that most of her friends were gay men and she was super nonjudgmental.

Well, okay, neat.

She looked at her watch a third time and was quiet.

We had only met for an hour and change, but I figured what the hell; let’s try pulling anyway, and I went for it.

I just invited her home. “So I think I want to show you my art, and I have this really awesome beer you’ll love that I brought from Canada. We can sit on my rooftop and have drinks. Let’s get out of here.”

“Are you inviting me over to have sex with you?” She replied.

With a deadpan face, I said, “Yes.” And smiled.

Without stopping, she said “Okay” and started getting up to leave.

The moment we walked into my apartment building, I kissed her. It was on before we even got into my place.

I passed her shit test, and we screwed all night.

10 Ways to Keep a Relationship from Falling Apart

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

how to keep a relationship
The vast majority of relationships fail. So if they’re your thing, you better know how to keep a relationship fresh, engaging, and brimming with mutual respect.

Many men get burned out in the never-ending merry-go-round of pickup and want to know how to keep relationships from falling apart. Capturing the hearts and minds of beautiful women isn’t as easy as spitting out a pickup line and pulling from the bar.

To be a “player” takes a high degree of work ethic and a strong emotional core. I always tell students that coaches are better equipped for dealing with rejection than a newbie. It doesn’t faze them much. They’ve trained themselves to deal with many, many rejections. So for most guys, if they manage to land a beautiful, charming girl, they’d rather keep her than go back to the grind. There’s zero shame in that.

You can also be with more than one woman at a time. A great relationship doesn’t need to be traditional and monogamous. I won’t lie, though: it’s often more work and drama than it’s worth, and it's often just easier to go monogamous. That’s if you can find a relationship-worthy girl. And if you do find her, how to keep a relationship happy and healthy is a whole different skill set.

Just like cold approach, relationships are very easy to screw up. So I’m going to teach you how to keep a relationship, whether that’s your harem or your future monogamous wifey.

Read on to learn ten ways to keep a relationship from falling apart.

Tactics Tuesdays: Don't Trigger Her Analytical Side

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

analytical side

Everybody likes to assume men are the factual, analytical sex. But there's more to being factual and analytical than one's sex. Certain environments prime you to think in factual, analytical ways. Many of the women you meet are fresh out of these environments.

When a woman spends all day in an office or (to a lesser extent) a university, she can get mechanical in her thoughts. It takes some work to shake her out of that and get her into a playful, social mood. Along the way, you can trip yourself up by returning her to Fact Land.

In Fact Land, there's no such thing as a sexy man. Men can't be sexy when they concern themselves with facts. Can you factually, analytically define sexiness? Neither can she. Further, you need women out of a factual mindset to properly take them through seduction. Seduction consists of many counter-factual moments... like telling her "Let's get out of here, it's so noisy and boring" to get her back to your place. Well, it's actually more interesting in whatever stimulating environment you have her in. A woman in an emotional headspace who likes you will agree, because she'll be more interested in you than the environment. A woman in a factual headspace however will not see how going to your dull apartment is more interesting than a chaotic bar or street scene. You must guide her away from Fact Land into Feeling Land.

This week's Tactics Tuesday isn't about how to pull her completely out of facts and into feelings. That's a more involved process... one that involves doing things that make her feel, and helping her feel allowed to let down her protective wall of facts. This post is about not accidentally triggering her factual side while you're striving to awaken her feelings.

Do Women Want to Be DOMINATED in the Bedroom? (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

Do women like being dominated in bed? The answer is obvious, isn’t it?

Of course there will be many protests to the opposite, but usually these are protests of TIMING or CONTEXT.

“I don’t like it rough... all the time.”

Right, but 9/10 times? 8/10 times? What we talking here?

My stance on this has gotten a little softer over the years. I used to be the “If you don’t split her open every time, you’re a bitch,” but then I've also encountered some situations where I’d go too hard and it’d make girls feel like a fleshlight... which they love, but maybe just not YET.

Some girls need to be warmed up to the really crazy, dominant sex.

But once they’re comfortable and trust you... the doors EXPLODE.

Watch the video and see why.