Relationship Series: Recaps, Takeaways, and One Last Note

by Ricardus Domino
Friday, 14 September 2012

Well, that time has come - time to wrap up our relationship series.

This has been a long collection of articles about the topic of relationships we’ve put out over the last several weeks… and if you asked me to, I could easily write another one just as long. Relationships are simply an incredibly complex topic, with a million little counterintuitive nuances.

Every time you think you’ve got them down… you don’t.

On the one hand, many of the rules we learn for dating go out the window… the game changes completely once you get into a monogamous, committed relationship with a girl.

On the other hand, you still can’t suddenly be a pushover, so a lot of the inner game advice still applies… and where and how to apply everything and in the right context is certainly an art and a science unto itself.

A lot of readers had written in with questions about relationships… and in my experience, this is what a large portion of our students ultimately want to get out of this game… sure, it’s nice to have a lot of choice in beautiful women, and sure, it’s nice to at least have the ability to live a playboy lifestyle for a while.

But when it comes down to it, most guys don’t really want to live life as far out as Chase or myself. The two of us have taken dating to the extreme, which is why we’re now in a position to teach just about anybody about almost any situation – after a decade of obsessing over this skill the way an Agassi would obsess over the game of tennis, there aren’t many situations we haven’t experienced yet. You might not want to be this obsessive… most people don’t.

For most, their ultimate dream is neither a harem of a dozen girls with constant fresh additions – the life style of a Ricardus – nor different girlfriends in all kinds of countries and jetsetting around the globe to see them – the lifestyle of a Chase.

No… from talking to students, I know that MOST would like to ultimately find their dream girl. That perfect ten with a brain and a heart, a girl that they can REALLY click with. Many also believe they will want to have a family at some point, and kids as well. That’s fine… and while that’s yet another completely different ball game with its own pitfalls and challenges, some things are certain:

You will be a lot more satisfied in a marriage if you feel that you had choice in women and picked the best one, rather than having settled for the one that had mercy on you and “saved” you from your lonely nights
You have a much greater chance of having a successful relationship if you first do a couple of “practice rounds.” Sure, some people marry their high school sweetheart and have it work out… but relationships are a skill, and as with any skill, you get better with practice.
Selection is another thing that requires practice – you might want one thing in a woman now, only to find out that you always have to be careful what you wish for. Maybe the blonde lawyer you’re dreaming off would be a horrible match for you in a relationship. Or maybe not – but it’s something to find out and experience
I’ve quoted my grandfather before, as he has shared so much of his wisdom with me over the years – but one profound thing he once said to me was: “The first time you get married shouldn’t count.” What did he mean by that – well, the first time round, you’re still trying to figure out what kind of woman would be a good match for you, what you’re really looking for and how to make a relationship work.

I highly encourage you to read this entire article series again… not only because you often catch a lot of things that you had missed the first time round, but also because a lot will make more sense now that you’ve seen the entire road map.

And just in case you lost track, here’s a recap of everything we’ve covered, from start to finish, starting with the articles adapted from my 2008 relationship seminar:

And a few from Chase along the way:

... and even one from Colt:

Student of the Game: 7 Long Distance Relationship Tips

We’ve covered a LOT of ground since the start of this series - and hopefully, we’ve answered most of the questions everyone had before we got started.

Epilogue

relationship series These articles that I cobbled together here really are the summary of some of the most important lessons I’ve learned from dating hundreds of girls and getting into exclusive relationships with some of the most interesting ones of them. I also quite literally went to hell and back to get this information… if I could take this article series and send it to my past self, about a decade ago, I would have saved myself an unbelievable amount of pain and frustration.

There is one relationship in my past that really stands out from all the others… as both the girl and I were more deeply in love than either of us had ever been before. However, I didn’t know any of what you’re reading, and I made all the mistakes you could possibly think of. When the relationship fell apart, I wished I could go back in time to fix the mistakes I had made – except I would have changed the wrong things, because I had no understanding of how this whole thing worked!

But as the spiritual gurus say, it’s in your darkest cave that you find your greatest treasure… and it’s the deepest dung you go through that turns into the most fertile soil for your growth.

That really is true… and I had to learn these lessons the hard way, but it was worth it. The problems I went through were part of what led me to dig my teeth into this topic until I finally found many answers to man’s greatest puzzle: woman. And if that means I can spare some people some of the pain I went through, then it was all worth it.

I’d like to leave you with two final thoughts… two big picture ideas that I already discussed earlier in this series, but that I feel are worth reiterating.

Don’t settle. There really is no need to compromise in your love life – if you get the right education (see: our programs) and put in some effort, you can absolutely create the life style of your dreams. It is very important that you set very clear goals. Those goals can change and evolve over time, but you need to have them... and you need to pursue them with faith and persistence. If you do that, they WILL be yours. Guaranteed.
Please, PLEASE… Don’t abuse the techniques in this article series. If you do everything as I have outlined here, you will get girls flying across continents and oceans just to see you for a weekend. You will get girls who would do absolutely anything for you… your girlfriend will be as devoted to you as nothing else in her life. Her relationship with you will likely become the most meaningful relationship of her life. Never, ever do any of this with a girl you’re not serious about. Bad things will happen.

That’s it for today… now go out and sweep the woman of your dreams off her feet!

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Comments

Job?

Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, 30 September 2012

I was wondering what job you and Chase have... you know, to be able to live the lives you're living. I would actually love to live like you guys very much while I'm young... travelling and hooking up with girls I've just met... and having the 'ultimate harem'. It sounds like a great experience, something that would make me miss the old days when I grow old. But I doubt all this is possible with your average 9-5 job. I'm sure guys like you would be bored to death if you had to sit in a cubicle 8 hrs a day.