Move Faster II

Because our previous article on how to move faster with women (read the original here) proved so popular, we’ve put together a follow up with more tips on moving faster with women – and everything from getting phone numbers faster to getting kisses faster to getting the girl you like intimate in bed with you faster.

The importance of moving fast with women cannot be understated. The same women that some men treat with kid gloves out of a fear of moving too fast and scaring off are often dating, kissing, and sleeping with other, more fearless men much more quickly, and (here’s the kicker) they tend to respect those men much more too.

Whom do you think a woman will respect more? A man who takes everything slow and treats her like he’s afraid of her (or of losing her), or a man who looks at her in a sexy, confident way, and makes her quickly feel attraction and desire for him and anticipates her feeling this and leads her along the path to romance and seduction? That one’s a no brainer, right? So let’s get you to move faster with women…

Tips:

• Meet Her Fast. When you first spot a girl, start talking to her before you have the chance to over-think things or get into your head with nervousness or doubt. It’s important that you start moving your feet as soon as you lay eyes on her. The longer you wait, the less likely you are to actually do anything, so – meet her fast. Meet her when you see her – that’s the code you should follow in almost every situation.

• Get Her Working Right Away. A lot of guys wait until later on in an interaction before they start asking a gal to contribute to the interaction by carrying some of the conversation or joining them in having a seat or going together to go and get a drink at the bar or a coffee at a nearby shop. This is wrong, flat out. The sooner you get a woman investing in an interaction with you, moving around with you, and committing to you, the more likely that interaction is to succeed.

• Challenge Her Fast. And I don’t mean to a match of table tennis. We’re talking the good kind of challenging here – the kind that people use when A) finding out more about each other, and B) flirting. This means playful banter, things like takeaways (turning your body positioning away from her when she says or does something you don’t like, whether literally or in jest), and screening (asking her questions like whether she’s a good cook, or whether she has any artistic talents). Most men never do these things, and most women find those kinds of men boring. The men whom women find interesting are the men with standards, and being a bit of a challenge to her is one of the top ways of communicating that you are one of those men.

• Reward What You Like, Ignore What You Don’t. Want a tip for speeding up the process with a girl you’ve just met? It’s this: reward what you like and ignore what you don’t. What does that mean exactly? That means that when she does good things – such as telling you about something you find interesting or attractive (say she’s just told you she’s a classically trained pianist, something you find alluring) or buying you some small token – you reward her with something like a warm thanks and a kiss on the cheek. And when she does something you don’t like – well, you just ignore it and keep moving the interaction forward as if nothing happened. One of the mistakes men often make is confronting women on things they don’t like. Confrontation is usually never productive in a dating or seduction scenario, though – it only creates a rift between the man and the woman. Instead, unless she’s done something awful, it’s better just to keep rolling and continue getting investment from her and taking the interaction forward one step at a time (and focusing on getting her doing things that you can reward!).

• Use Yes Ladders. If you’re trying to move things forward, but you think she might be a bit hesitant or resistant, use a yes ladder. It’s a quick, effective technique for making another person more amenable to being agreeable. Here’s an example of how an interaction might play out without a yes ladder, and how it might play out with one:

Scenario 1: No Yes Ladder

Guy: How about we head back to my place for a nightcap?
Gal: It’s kind of late, I should probably get going. I have to get up early tomorrow.

Scenario 2: With Yes Ladder

Guy: Seems too early for the night to be over, doesn’t it?
Gal: Yeah, it does.
Guy: I’m having a lot of fun hanging out with you, aren’t you?
Gal: I am!
Guy: Tell you what, let’s have one more drink. What do you say?
Gal: That sounds great!
Guy: Cool. Let’s head back for a nightcap before we call it an evening, shall we?
Gal: Sure!

Once people get onto a “roll” of saying yes, it builds into a kind of enthusiastic vibe of agreeing with another person and syncing their views to relate and do things together mutually. The opposite can also be true – avoid series of “no”s like the plague, and if you’re getting nos, make sure to skip asking anything critical right after you’ve gotten one or two of them! Yes ladders are powerful and pretty easy to use, and can get things moving a lot faster than they might otherwise have moved.

• Use Barriers. Barriers are a great way of stating your intentions – to let a girl know you’re interested in her, and to get her thinking about the same thing you’re thinking about – without being too overt, blatant, or crude. So you might say, “If it wasn’t for all these people, I’d be tearing your clothes off right now,” or, “If my roommate wasn’t home right now, I’d take you back and give you the night of your life.” Barriers have the added element of push-pull: the push is telling a girl what you’d like to do with her; the pull is telling her you won’t be able to. As a bonus, they can often lead girls to chase after you, contributing to the cause and saying things like, “Well, we can go to my place then!”

• Pack Lots of Experiences Into a Little Time. One big key on how to move faster with women is in how many experiences she has with you. People tend to think that attachment is built on time, but it’s not – it’s built on experiences. The more experiences you share with someone, the longer you feel you’ve known them, and the more connected you tend to feel. How to use this to your advantage? Do lots of things with her. The more the better, and the more variety the better. Obviously, they should be things that allow you to move the interaction forward and get investment and build a real connection based on conversation – but if you are doing different things and seeing different things (or even moving around in different rooms in a nightclub, or bar-hopping, or window-shopping in different stores in a mall or street), she’ll feel as though the two of you have known each other longer, and things will progress more quickly.

• Trade Numbers Faster. Most guys wait until the end of an interaction to grab a number. Don’t do that. Grab it early, and it takes some of the pressure off – and also communicates very clearly that you want to see her again. Use broken conversational threads to your advantage here – for instance, you mention something, and she asks to hear more and clearly is interested – you pick up on her interest, begin to respond, then say, “Wait, before I forget, we need to trade cells. You’re too much fun, I’d feel awful if I forgot to get your contact info and never saw you again.” Then boom, the two of you trade cell numbers, and you go right back to that story she asked you about. At the same time, the interaction’s gone to the next level, because the two of you have both basically told each other, “Yes, I like you.”

• Get Her Comfortable With Your Touch Fast. Don’t wait until the end of your time together before you start getting physical. Kiss her hand, kiss her on the cheek, have her give you kisses on the cheek. Get your face close to hers, as if you’re about to kiss her, then don’t. Pick her up, move her around, get her used to your hands on her arms, back, thighs. Do it smoothly, and don’t do anything she’s uncomfortable with – every woman has a different threshold. If you sense her recoiling a bit, pull back and slow down a bit, then come back later to whatever it was you were doing that she recoiled from. Focus on moving as fast as she is comfortable with – rather than playing it safe and moving too slowly, like many a man does. And once the two of you are trading cheek kisses and neck kisses, etc., it’s very fast and easy to move onto full-on passionate make-outs.

• Handle Logistics Fast. The men who get sex fast are the ones who A) do all the right things, B) have a nose for women who are looking to hook up, and C) handle logistics fast. That means knowing where you can get physical with a girl – whether it’s your place or hers, the backseat of your car, or a bathroom or a bench or a beach somewhere nearby. It might not sound elegant, but once you’ve gotten physical with a girl in a bathroom for five minutes, you’ve broken that “wall” and can go right back to the same point in the seduction when you have her in a more appropriate venue for the two of you to enjoy each other. And, while many women have autopilot responses of feeling uncomfortable, pressured, or resistant in the “lying in bed at his place” scenario, most have far less discomfort or resistance toward getting physical in novel situations that they have little or no previous experience in. Their minds are too distracted and stimulated by the novelty of the situation to process all the worries and fears they’ll get wracked with in the familiar place of lying in a man’s bed as he moves toward sex.

So, a bit of a primer to get you going down the right path. Focus on moving as fast as you can – as fast as she will go – while making her comfortable and making sure that both she and you are enjoying yourselves (and each other), and you will have a more successful – and exciting – dating life. So don’t limit yourself to the three-date-rule or anything as stodgy as that – give girls the excitement and passion they deserve. And move faster with women!

Always,
Chase Amante