Invite Her Home
Guys go out for different reasons. I find that one of the most common ones, particularly for men new to meeting women on the street, at bars, at clubs, at bookstores and coffee shops, is to “work on their game”.
Totally understandable. It’s where I started out at. And, especially in the beginning, you have a lot of basic stuff you’re trying to get down and specific traits you’re looking to iron out and make a regular part of who you are and the way you interact with women.
However, there comes a time when “working on your game” is no longer a valid reason for going out and meeting girls. It could be when you realize that talking to girls is no longer scary and intimidating. It could be when you discover that most girls now react pretty well to you. It could be when you have girls flirting hard with you now every now and again.
At that point, once you’ve realized that you still want to work on your game without having “working on your game” as your primary focus (because it no longer intrigues you), it’s now time for you to set a new objective for yourself. One I find very useful is “bring a girl home.”
It’s intimidating to think, “Okay, I’ve got to go talk to a girl and I hope she likes me.” When talking to a girl to get you to like you is your objective, you’ll have a lot of anxiety. However, when talking to a girl to get her to *come home* with you is your objective -- well, it tends to be pretty exciting.
Here’s why: when you’re at the point where you can realistically tell yourself, “I’m going to try and bring a girl home tonight, and if I meet enough girls and try to get some to come with me, I stand a good chance of finding a girl who’ll come with me,” you’ll be energized and will work harder. Then the goal is no longer the vague goal of working on game, but actually the very SPECIFIC goal of taking a girl (or girls) home.
And it’s easier than it sounds. A lot of guys build it up to this big thing in their heads. “Oh no, I’ve got to bring a girl home… how on EARTH am I going to do that?” they think. But I’ve taken girls home that I spent less than five minutes talking to. Wow, sounds amazing, right? It’s not. It doesn’t take some incredible level of game to get there. All it takes is the ability to PROPOSE it and FOLLOW THROUGH.
That means, you’re talking to a girl and you can tell she likes you. You’re moving fast maybe -- there are lots of girls and you want to keep moving. But you like this one and don’t want to dawdle. So what do you do? You say, “Hey, let’s party.” She asks what that means; you tell her. “Let’s go somewhere more fun than this; somewhere with good music and cheap drinks.” She asks you where; you refuse to say specifically. “It’s five minutes away; you’ll love it. Let’s go.” You insist again and again until she agrees. She continues to ask where as you head to your car or her car or to hail a cab; you just deflect and keep the conversation moving fluidly. Take her home, pop on some tunes, pour a drink. Give her a massage if you need to, or go straight into making out. Scoop her up in your arms and kiss her deeply.
You can talk to her at the bar or lounge for five minutes or fifty minutes; it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you read her body language and know she’s into it. Preferably, you’ve built up compliance by having her do things for you, so now she’s ready to take the plunge and REALLY follow your lead. But I’ve brought girls back quickly who’ve never done anything for me yet and I really didn’t think WOULD come with me. I just proposed and insisted, and they agreed; I was SURPRISED they came home so quickly and readily, but they did.
It’s like the old saying, if you stand at a bus stop and ask 100 women to come have sex with you, one of them is bound to say, “Hmm… ok.” But when you’re combining that with good game, charisma, and a good / disarming look and persona, you’ll up your percentage a good bit. Being able to pick out the girls who are looking for it helps, and being able to disarm objections on the fly helps as well. But ultimately, it comes down to proposing it and following through.
Those who don’t ask for it, don’t get it. Keep that in mind.
You can kind of boil seduction down to that. There are the guys who ask for it, and the guys who don’t. Girls are the followers, not the leaders. They’re waiting to be led. So it’s always the guy who will step up and lead who gets the girl.
Next time you go out, and you’re not sure what exactly you’re doing, or what you want to do, try this: tell yourself you’re going to keep talking to girls until you find one to come home with you. You’ll be surprised at what you learn and some of the crazy adventures you get out of it.
Yours,
Chase
UPDATE: for more detail on the topic of inviting girls home and getting them alone with you, see "Get a Girl Alone Today with These 7 Tips" and "How to Go to Her Place Smoothly, Even If You Just Met."
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Comments
Going to her home
Hi Chase. First off, thumbs up for making this website! Its contents, though not always politically correct, are very insightful and feel like a breath of fresh air.
What do you think about trying to invite a girl to her home? I currently live in a town where there just aren't many interesting women or even interesting activities and places, so I often travel to other cities. My university is located in a city more than 1 hour away and it's filled with hot girls, but logistics are not in my favor. I feel that I can't ask a girl to sit more than an hour with me in transit just to take her home. What are your thoughts on inviting her to her home instead?
Re: Going to her home
Hey Snowman,
Makes logistics a bit tougher, but yeah, your thinking is on the money -- it's much better to head to her home than it is to try and get her to sit through an hour-long commute to yours.
Try this line: "Have anything to eat at your place?" Followed by: "Cool, let's head that way," provided she says anything other than, "No."
If she asks why, or protests that you ought to head to a bar or a restaurant instead, simply casually say, "I'm tired of bars and restaurants and noise and lights and lots of people. Let's just chill."
Then, let her lead away!
Chase
The 1 O'Clock Dash
Chase,
Everyone says this and it's because it's true. Your site is amazing! I never used to go out but for the past four weeks I've been going to clubs on the weekends taking your advice to heart. Girls now turn their heads, they approach me, and I can be making out with them within five minutes of initial contact. But regardless of how much progress I make, they always say "I have to go. My friends are leaving" (and it's always around 1AM). Even if I get their phone number, it's already game over. I don't want to play the texting game.
So I have two questions. Should I be trying to take girls home earlier on in the night? And how do I convince them to stay with me instead of leaving with their friends?
Also, as a follow-up to what you said to Snowman, what happens if she doesn't want to go home with anyone? She'd stay, but I just said "I'm tired of bars." Am I supposed to leave the bar now? How would it look if I were to stay?
Many thanks!
What about at a party at someone elses house
What would be best to say if you want her to go upstairs with you?
Who Are These Girls?
Hey Chase,
Have been reading your blog for the past few weeks and it has really helped improve my game. Thanks a ton! A few general questions:
- Doesn’t this method, assuming you’re trying it on a number of girls one evening at a bar or party, just tend to land you the easiest girl there? If you take home one of the two or three girls you initially found most attractive in a large bar or party, then often it’s probably not the “easy girl”. But if you are going through 10, 15 conversations before a bite, it seems like that’s more likely what you’re getting.
- Not to obsess on the superficial question of how easy a girl is, but would you say that your methods now are landing you girls that are less “easy”? How about when you were less proficient?
- I know you met success with the girlfriend who’d only slept with one guy before (not sure if you’re still together), but was she an outlier?
Thanks!
- Jack
Please answer this one: How
Please answer this one: How can I invite her home if I live with my Dad and his friend. It is my dad's friends house. I guess it is better on the weekend cuz they aren't always here in the morning? I don't even have a car or drive! Is it possible to take her home on the metro then walking to the house I live in? How much sense does this make? I guess it is better to try and get her to take me to her home like you said about asking if she has food?
How would this be done minus the nightlife and drinking?
I like your example, but I'm wondering: How would one do this during the daytime, or if nightlife and/or drinking doesn't have a place in one's life?
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