How to Take Girls Home with You
Meeting women in bars or the mall or on the street is great, and going on dates is lots of fun.
But sooner or later, at some point or another, you’ve got to bring women home with you, or nothing is ever going to happen.
If I had to sum up how to take girls home with you in one sentence it would be “keep the good times rolling”. Never get pushy with women; make it easy by taking it easy!
There are many finer points to this that guys who are beginners tend to miss - things like not freaking girls out by being all over the map, by not making the ask home a high pressure situation, and more.
If you know what these points are and you know your way around them, you can get yourself taking girls home easily, consistently, and in stress-free ways.
Girls project into the future a lot when it comes to guys. One little red flag or pushy attitude can signal a girl’s alarms and cause her to delay and keep you at arm’s length. The trick to getting girls to come home with you is to signal to her that you are consistent and unlikely to suddenly change your behaviour when you get her alone.
The reason why sudden changes freak girls out is mostly because they can’t predict it and can’t emotionally afford messing up their read on a guy when it comes to sex. So, the first step in regards to taking girls home with you is to treat girls intermittently like you would if you were at home with them.
If you don’t know how to treat girls when at home, don’t worry, because that is what I’m going to talk about now, and at the end of the article I will throw in a few ways to make “the move” that will get her to say yes to the idea. But first let us address our attitudes when we have a girl in our house.
She walks through the door, you offer her a drink, she touches something she sees and then she sits down on the couch. She is wondering, “Is he going to make a move?” combined with, “If he makes the wrong move, I’m out of here”.
Normally a guy in this situation can feel
stuck without a clue what to actually do to “seal the deal”. What if I
told you that the trick to “sealing the deal” is to actually relax?
Because the truth is, sexual appetite blossoms in a nurturing and
Relaxed Date at Your Place: An Illustration
Let me tell you a little story.
This guy is feeling pretty good about himself and is having a burger late at night with a friend, when a he sees a girl make eye contact with him. He doesn’t flinch, he just starts to slowly smile and welcomes her over: “Hey there, you look like a confident and cool girl, let me get your number,” he says.
She types in her number into his phone and they talk for a little bit until eventually she wishes him a good night and he reciprocates with the same. He turns to his friend: “Oh man, what a cool girl,” and thinks nothing of it.
The next weekend he gave her a little text, she didn’t respond. The next week after that, when he is out, she texts him to meet her at a bar he doesn’t know, and he declines because he knows that drastically changing his plans for something like that is most likely to not be productive. A little later on in the night he texts her with a promise of marshmallows and a heater to get out of the cold; she laughs and says it sounds good but “not tonight”.
A couple weeks later he texts her again, and she says she can meet for a short while, and he convinces her to watch a movie and for them to hang out in his apartment.
At his place, he cooks some roasted vegetables; she loves them; and they watch a stupid comedy movie. The whole time the girl is thinking, “What is this guy doing? I thought he was confident? He hasn’t made a move! Maybe he won’t make one,” and the whole time he points her back to the screen: “Ha-ha, I love this bit!”
She laughs back and says, “Me too,” but is obviously distracted.
Secretly the guy knew what she was thinking about, he just wasn’t about to let her know that. When the movie ends she sits in her chair kind of awkwardly not knowing what to do, and she stands up, “Umm... Well... I guess, that was nice, I’m tired so...”. For most guys this is the end; but not for our guy. He just smirks.
“Do you want a tea or anything?” he asks.
“No, it’s fine,” she responds.
“Oh, okay, I’m going to brush my teeth, do you want anything, like a water?” he asks.
“No, I’m okay,” she says.
He walks up to her and gives her a casual peck that seemed so comfortable that it takes the edge off all her troubles: “If you are tired, you can just relax in the bed, and I will be back out in a moment,” he then says.
He goes and brushes his teeth, and he comes back out and snuggles in bed beside her. For a while he doesn’t do anything, and she is slightly stiffened by the fact, but says nothing. He puts his hand on hers and she squeezes it, and he slowly turns her around and just very slowly and fitting the mood kisses her so that the slight simmer between them turns into a fire. By the next morning he brings her another glass of water, and she’s sitting in his lap, laughing as natural as can be as they watch out the window together in one of the main armchairs.
I like this story because it really speaks about how to do things on your terms and to not stress out about sex. The guy “made it easier” by making it all much simpler than she was expecting. He knew that the girl was thinking about “the move”, and he knew he didn’t want to make it all about “the guy made a move”, in his mind he just actually wanted to have a good time and was genuine about both his attraction for her and his invitation to watch a movie.
To really make a girl comfortable, often it is about being able to make things with you:
- Easy to be a part of,
- Easy to trust, and
- Easy to enjoy once you take the edge off
A man that confidently displays his interest, whilst making no apology for his timing, tells her that the kind of guy she is dealing with has experience.
When you get a girl home, you don’t have to be all over her unless that is how both of you really feel. If there is a slower attraction, then don’t be afraid to take it slower; if there is a moderate pace to the attraction then take it with moderation, pour a drink, offer some food, etc.; just make sure it doesn’t come to a total stop.
As a general rule with girls it is best to stay on the side of “being cool” with her having some time to feel things out and talk, rather than “speeding up” when getting a girl home. Show that you can handle the build up towards sex and that will stop most girls from running away at the last moment. Girls don’t become harder to turn on because they are in your room, they just need the context around them to not be too threatening so they can experience things naturally, and take things step by step according to their desires.
How to Take Her Home
If you are like most guys, you probably apply a subtle pressure to women over time and just hope for the best, because you don’t want to make a proposition and come across as sleazy or just out for sex (even if you obviously are).
I noted earlier that the key to taking a girl is to “make it easy”, but that was only one half of the solution. The two key things to get a girl home are:
- “Safety”, and
- “Screw it, let us go”
Safety is relatively straight forwards, and so too is getting a girl to throw caution to the wind if she likes you and isn’t intending to “hold out” on you in an attempt to play games.
When you go for the “moves” that will help her throw caution to the wind you will want to make sure she thinks of you in a sexual way. Girls do not go home with “guy friends”; they go home with “guys they like”. So long as a girl likes you in that way it is a safe bet that at some point she and you are going to get alone together if you guys want to explore the chemistry you share, so don’t feel too shy about expecting that to be a natural part of talking and flirting with a cool girl.
Take the Edge Off It
To take some of the edge off “getting a girl home”, you can make jokes about her place or apartment, by assuming it is a mess (probably true), or asking if she likes things about where she lives etc.
If the girl is negative about her place you can say something funny like, “Well, I’d offer you my place, but not to keep; I need it, and your place sounds like a bad deal”.
Make Her Not Care
Make a girl admit her desire for you with her actions. Get her to a point where she says, “Damn it, I don’t want to be here anymore (I want to be alone with you),” and then invite her home and suggest the move to your place.
Make It Not Always About Sex
Plausible deniability is always important for girls, so treat your invitation as having two possible outcomes, she likes you and stays, she likes you, has a good time and can be on her way feeling better about herself. The most successful home invitations are often things like:
- “We should have a drink and talk some more”
- “Hey are you up for some music? Come on let’s go to mine”
- “I’m going to get ready to go to sleep but I want to talk more; would you mind if we were somewhere a little warmer whilst we talk?”
Point out to women that the better environment for all her wants and choices are not just “out in public” and invite her into your personal space as if it is worth something and is a compliment.
Be Upfront About It
Girls aren’t typically afraid of sex; they are afraid of “suddenly it just got weird”.
So, don’t make being upfront about sex weird because it doesn’t need to be. So long as being in your home constitutes no change in how you respect her wishes and desires, you will do well in inviting girls home so long as you are fun, flirtatious, charming and relaxed about moving around the subject.
In the end, taking a girl home is as easy as making her smile when you suggest it. So don’t be afraid to be confident about it, and show her that you are not only sexy in public display, but also at home.
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